Читать книгу William Walker’s First Year of Marriage: A Horror Story - Matt Rudd - Страница 42

1 The average temperature in the desert in July is 38°C, which is hot enough to fry an egg in. Not that that’s a priority.

2 Most souks close for lunch and on Fridays.

3 In the city of Oudja, a large number of deaf men use sign language. It is hard to determine how many women are capable of sign language because they do not speak it in the streets.

The only other way to kill time is to go to the toilet a lot. Alex’s flat, sorry, maisonette, sorry split-level garden apartment, is so minimalist that you can’t even find the doors without feeling your way around like a blind person. So it wasn’t my fault that on the nth pretend toilet stop, I accidentally found myself in his office/spare room/mirrored gym absent-mindedly wondering how to sabotage the chest-press.

Or that I accidentally spotted a torn photograph of me poking out from under a sheet in the corner.

Or that I accidentally lifted the sheet to discover bundles of photos from the wedding, all chopped up.

‘Can I help you?’ Alex, all smiles.

‘No, just looking for the loo,’ I replied, dropping the sheet. ‘Didn’t know you had copies of the wedding photos.’

‘They’re my own. They’re not ready for you to look at yet. The loo is where it’s been all afternoon.’

Isabel isn’t talking to me on the way home, despite my immense efforts at being nice all day, and despite me revealing the shock news that her ‘best friend’ has a chopped-up pile of photos from our wedding in his spare room.

Apparently, I was moody and I am ridiculous to even suggest that Alex might have spent the last few weeks chopping up the wedding photos of the girl he loves and the man he despises.

So unfair.