Читать книгу War/Peace - Matthew Vandenberg - Страница 22

‘Is this a joke!?’ Chloe yells.

‘What is it?’ Shaun asks.

‘The fridge is full of apples. That’s all we have to eat? Apples! How can we survive on apples?’

‘Different varieties?’ I ask.

‘What does it matter?’ Chloe says, shrugging. ‘All we’ve got are stupid apples.’

‘There are more than 7000 varieties of apples*,’ I state. ‘They all got a compound in them that shields neurons from damage. Scientists wanna extract this compound from apples and use it to make drugs that’ll help protect the brain*. They also got this pectin fiber in them that brings down cholesterol levels*. Plus you can fry the apples, you don’t gotta eat them raw. Maybe we got sugar or cinnamon. We can make – like – an applesauce or something.’

‘To put on what?’ Shaun asks. ‘The invisible steak we got on the table?’

‘Next you’ll be tellin’ us we can eat the bugs on the walls!’ Chloe yells.

‘We’ve got 40 000 species of microorganisms in each of our guts, you know**. They protect us against particular organisms**, or help our immune system develop, or help us digest food, or even influence brain function and behavior**.’

‘No one cares, Jackson,’ Shaun says. ‘Don’t tell me you’re gonna be rattling off boring facts about every single little thing while we’re in this house.’

I shrug: ‘Not everything.’

‘We need another person,’ Shaun says. ‘Or more people. This place is pretty drab, seriously.’

‘We got a couple girls coming, should be here by noon,’ I say, taking an apple out of the fridge.

‘Really?’ Chloe asks. ‘What are their names? Do I know them?’

‘There’s a pic on the bench of one of them.’

Chloe walks over to the kitchen bench, takes the picture in two tiny fingers and looks at the image.

‘Oh no,’ Chloe says without hesitation. ‘No. No. No. There is no way she is entering this house! Are you crazy? Both of you? Shaun, have you seen this? This girl’s a . . .’

‘She’s a Catholic,’ I say, shrugging. ‘So what?’

‘She’s from the south! We can’t possibly let her in here. This – here – is a safe-house for north-siders in case you haven’t noticed.’

‘She’s not a fighter,’ I stress. ‘She’s peaceful, just like us.’

‘Jackson,’ Shaun says, shaking his head. ‘Think about this. You wanna let a virgin into the house? You really haven’t thought this through have you?’

‘And she’s a Catholic!’ Chloe yells. ‘For Christ’s sake! There is no way she is setting foot inside this house!’

‘Please hear me out,’ I press. ‘We outnumber them. If they try anything then we simply kick them out.’

‘Then they’ll turn us into the south-side authorities,’ Shaun says. ‘Safe-house no more. We’ll be at the mercy of south-siders.’

‘Wait!’ Chloe says. ‘They? You mean the other one is Catholic also?’

‘There’s Shelly – she’s in the picture, and there’s Jerri. Look – you gotta trust me: these are real nice girls. They’re already indirect*** friends of you. You know that, right? Coz their good friends of mine.’

‘What do you mean?’ Chloe retorts. ‘You can’t tell me I’m friends with a Catholic. With a girl who would rather pick up a scythe than a rose.’

‘I told you she ain’t a fighter,’ I stress. ‘Nor Jerri. Look, you gotta get to know them, that’s all I’m saying. Let them in the house, just get to know them. Chloe, you judge people based on your emotions, right? Based on how you’re feeling when you meet them?’

‘Yeah,’ Chloe replies. ‘My friends. Sure.’

‘You’ll like these girls. But only when you get to know them as direct friends^. We gotta let them in. It’ll be fun.’

‘Maybe Jackson’s right,’ Shaun states. ‘We outnumber them. We’re the majority in this joint, just as if we were in the north. Maybe we need a spy anyway. A south-sider or two could totally help us out, help gather information for us.’

‘They’ll never help us,’ Chloe presses. ‘They’re virgins Shaun! Probably have Kallmann syndrome^^ too! They all do! These south-siders are frigid, frozen, raw! They feel nothing! And you wanna let one, two, of the savage beasts into our block? I can’t believe we’re even discussing this. We finally have a safe place where we don’t fear for our lives and you wanna let a couple of zombies through the front door! Way to destroy the positive mood. Don’t matter whether these girls are happy or sad when they enter, they’re so gonna bring us down^^^.’

‘It might be ready,’ Shaun says. He taps a finger twice on the fridge door and then strolls over to a cupboard. The door is already ajar and I watch as light – so dim - emanates from the inside of the cupboard, as though Mexicans crossing the border into the United States.

‘What?’ I say.

‘Nothing,’ Shaun replies. ‘Well . . . it’s something, but nothing to them. They won’t even know. Know how we were discussing the worm idea the other day at Bankstown?’

‘Yeah right? You expect me to believe that you got remote control worms in that cupboard?’

‘Not exactly,’ Shaun says. ‘I never got the chance to design them. But here I have the liquid which I was planning to soak them in after I’d built them. It’s a perfume, right? Get this: 5a-Androst-16-en-3-one^^. That’s the name. Totally odorless. It’s a pheromone. Once it enters someone’s system this person’s reward systems become activated. The pheromone runs through nerve zero^^ and this nerve releases the powerful sex hormone GnRH^^ into the person’s bloodstream.’

‘Are you saying you can change them?’ Chloe asks. ‘You can turn them into Protestants? Increase their promiscuity?’

‘It’s worth a shot,’ Shaun says. ‘I need to test out this formula on a south-sider eventually. So now might be my chance. Of course, I have no idea how Catholics process things mentally so I can’t be a hundred percent sure this will work. I have serotonin # also. There is a theory that Catholics are manically depressed, you see. This might explain why they dropped the bomb on the Harbour Bridge.’

‘Then the north struck back,’ Chloe states.

‘And that made you feel good?’ I ask. ‘Some striatum stimulation, perhaps? Schadenfreude?##’

‘What?’

‘Never mind. Look: if these girls are depressed then this also means that they are deep thinkers###. A depressed person would be far too smart and intelligent to ever wanna bomb the Harbour Bridge. Plus those with serotonin are usually more religious. Their brains are overloaded with sensory information#. I don’t think serotonin is what these girls need. Hey . . . you hear that?’

‘What?’ Chloe asks.

‘Put your earphone in. He’s talking to us. He says he wants us to let Jerri and Shelly in. It’s really important that we obey his instructions.’

‘Big brother?’ Shaun asks.

‘It’s the voice of the citizens of the planet,’ I say. ‘Yeah. He’s big alright.’

******

References

1 *Marano, H.. (2010, November). The World's First Health Food. Psychology Today, 43(6), 48. Retrieved December 4, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 2178206521).

2 **Knaresboro, T.. (2010, November). The Pros of Probiotics. Psychology Today, 43(6), 46. Retrieved December 4, 2010, from ABI/INFORM Global. (Document ID: 2178206511).

3 ***Paolini, S., Hewstone, M., Cairns, E., & Voci, A. (2004). Effects of Direct and Indirect Cross-Group Friendships on Judgements of Catholics and Protestants in Northern Ireland: The Mediating Role of an Anxiety-Reduction Mechanism. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 30(6), 770-786. doi: 10.1177/0146167203262848

4 ^Paolini, S., Hewstone, M., & Cairns, E. (2007). Direct and Indirect Intergroup Friendship Effects: Testing the Moderating Role of the Affective-Cognitive Bases of Prejudice. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 33(10), 1406-1420. doi: 10.1177/0146167207304788

5 ^^Fields, D. (2007: Also in the 'Your Sexual Brain: How It Rules Your Life” special collection lift-out with the November-December issue). Sex and the Secret Nerve. Scientific American Mind, February-March, 21-27.

6 ^^^Branan, N. (2010). The “Me” Effect. Scientific American Mind, November-December, 14-15.

7 #Branan, N. (Reviewer) (2010). Review of: “Your Brain on Food – How Chemicals Control Your Thoughts and Feelings” by Gary L. Wenk. Scientific American Mind, November-December, 68.

8 ##Anthes, E. (2010). Their Pain, Our Gain. Scientific American Mind, November-December, 39-41.

9 ###Fabbrocile, F. (2010: A letter writer sure. But you'll find a million articles to back up the claim if you look hard enough). Happy Spenders. Scientific American Mind, November-December, 5. [Note: Scientific American Mind 75 Varick Street, 9th Floor New York, NY 10013; 212-451-8200; editors@SciAmMind.com for correspondence].