Читать книгу His Little Secret - Джанис Мейнард, Maureen Child - Страница 10
ОглавлениеHe didn’t go to see his twins.
He wasn’t up for that just yet.
Colt didn’t want his children’s first subconscious memory of their father to be of him furious.
So instead, he went to the beach. He needed to burn off some of the fury pumping through him. But the calm waves at Laguna weren’t going to be enough to soothe the temper riding him. What he needed for that was blood-pumping action with a thread of danger. Enough to make his adrenaline high enough to swamp the anger chewing at him.
In Newport Beach, the Wedge was just at the end of the Balboa Peninsula and the waves there could reach thirty feet or more. Because of some “improvements” to the jetty in Newport Harbor sometime in the thirties, the waves here were highly unpredictable. One wave combined with another and then still another until the resulting wave was higher than anywhere else on the coast. Best part was, no two waves were alike, and where they would break was anybody’s guess. Inexperienced surfers avoided the Wedge if they had any brains. As for Colt and the handful of other surfers out on this cold, autumn day...
The danger added to the fun.
Usually, anyway. Today, as he took wave after wave, riding the crest, being tossed into the sea and coming up in a froth of foam, his mind was too distracted to enjoy the rush. Images of Penny flashed through his mind on a continual loop. Visions of babies were there, too. Crying, laughing, sleeping. He couldn’t clear his brain of the thoughts plaguing him, so he pushed himself harder, hoping for clarity. It didn’t come though, and after a few hours in the punishing tempest of the sea, Colt had had enough. He dragged his board onto the sand and flopped down onto it.
Wrapping his arms around his knees, he stared out at the water and tried to make sense of what had happened that day. He’d never expected to see Penny Oaks again. Colt scrubbed one hand across his face and let himself remember her, lying in that hospital bed.
Through the anger, through the frustration and shock, he still had felt that jolt of sexual insanity he associated only with Penny. And insanity was the only word he could use to describe what she made him feel.
Penny, with her jeans and T-shirts and her lack of makeup or artifice of any kind, was just not the type of woman he was usually drawn to. He liked his women fast and sleek, with no expectations other than a great time in bed. Penny, though, was something else again. He’d known it instantly. But from that first moment at the convention nearly two years ago, he’d had to have her. One look at her and all he’d been able to think about was her long legs, wrapped around his waist. Her mouth pressed to his. Her breath warm against his skin.
And damned if she still didn’t affect him that way.
Even lying in a hospital bed, with her long, dark red hair a tangle about her head, with her green eyes shining with both pain and panic, he’d wanted her so badly he’d had a hell of a time just walking out of the hospital.
After Vegas, he’d buried her memory and lost himself in dozens of temporary women. Yet he’d never really been able to wipe Penny from his mind entirely. And now she was back—with his children—and he’d be damned if he’d be cut out of his kids’ lives. Even if, he was forced to admit, he was hardly father material.
The beach was nearly empty and the sunset stained the white clouds varying shades of pink and orange. The waves crashed relentlessly onto the shore, and out beyond the breakers, a few remaining surfers chased the next ride.
“You’re an idiot.”
Colt didn’t have to turn around to know who had spoken. His twin’s voice was unmistakable.
“Thanks for stopping by,” he said. “Go away.”
“Right. That’ll happen.” Instead, Connor settled down on the sand beside his brother and instinctively took up the same position as Colt. Arms wrapped around his drawn-up knees, gaze fixed on the ocean. They were so alike, they generally didn’t even have to speak because each knew what the other was thinking.
But today, Colt realized, even he didn’t know what he was thinking. Sexual desire, yes. Fury, oh, yes. But there was so much more. How the hell could he figure it out? Thoughts raced through his mind, slapped up against the wall of his brain and then rushed back down again to tangle with the others. Much like the legendary surf at the Wedge, Colt’s mind at the moment was a dangerous place to be.
“You don’t surf the Wedge alone and you know it,” Connor said.
True. Even adrenaline junkies knew what line not to cross, but today, he just hadn’t given a damn. Not that he would admit it to Connor.
“I wasn’t alone,” Colt argued. “There are at least a dozen other guys out there.”
“Yeah, all looking out for themselves. Don’t suppose you noticed the riptide?”
“I noticed,” he admitted grudgingly. Riptides were a danger on their own. Riptides at the Wedge were a whole new level of risky. Get caught in one of those and you could be dragged out to sea so far you wouldn’t have the strength to swim back in. “And I don’t need you nagging me.”
“Fine. Won’t nag. Just leave a note behind next time you surf here alone, okay?”
“A note?” He looked at his twin.
Connor shrugged. “You’re gonna commit suicide the least you can do is leave a note—you could say, ‘I should have listened to Connor.’”
Colt shook his head and returned his gaze to the churning sea. White water and spray shot into the air. A cold sea wind whipped his hair back from his forehead, and overhead, gulls shrieked like the dying.
He didn’t even wonder how Connor had known to find him here. For the last ten years, Colt had spent most of his time chasing the next adventure. Always searching out danger and beating it. He just wasn’t the office, suit-and-tie kind of guy.
Hell, even with floor-to-ceiling windows displaying a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean and the California coastline, he felt trapped in the building he and Connor owned on the Pacific Coast Highway. Which was why, he reminded himself, he was the adventure man and his twin was in charge of paperwork.
He shuddered at the thought of being buried behind a desk. Like the clients that King’s Extreme Adventures served, Colt was always looking for the next shot of adrenaline. Skydiving, BASE jumping, extreme surfing, wingsuit flying―he’d done them all and had no intention of ever stopping.
In spite of what he’d learned today.
“Have you seen the twins?”
“No.” Colt narrowed his gaze on the ocean and tried to ignore the sudden, frantic beat of his heart.
“Why not?”
“Because I’m too pissed at their mother.”
Connor laughed shortly. “I’m guessing their mom’s not real fond of you about now, either.”
He turned his head to glare at his brother. “You think that matters to me?”
“No. But I know the kids do.”
Well, that took the fire out of him. “What the hell do I know about being a father?”
Connor shrugged. “We had a pretty good role model for that, I think.”
“Yeah, we did.” Their parents had been the best. Until... Guilt reared up inside him, shouting to be heard, but he shut it down as he always did. The past didn’t have any meaning here. This was all about the now. And the future. “Doesn’t mean I’ll be any good at it.”
“Doesn’t mean you’ll suck, either.”
Colt laughed and pushed one hand through his still-wet hair. “Quite the pep talk.”
Connor grinned and turned his gaze on the ocean. “You don’t need a pep talk. Unless you don’t believe they’re your kids...”
“No.” Colt shook his head and scowled. Naturally, he’d considered that for a split second, right after Robert Oaks had punched him. But he’d discounted it just as quickly. “One thing Penny is not is a liar. In spite of the fact that she hid them from me. Besides,” he reasoned, “if she was trying to push someone else’s twins off as mine, she’d have come to me for money right from the jump.”
“True. Still, you should do a paternity test. Cover all your bases legally.”
He would, eventually. Colt wasn’t an idiot. But tests or no tests, he knew, in his gut, those twins were his. Penny had been too panicked about him finding out about them to have him doubting it for a second. And she was right to panic, he told himself. Because things were going to change. Her life as she knew it was now over.
Because Colton King would do whatever he had to to make sure his kids were taken care of.
* * *
Maybe he’d forgotten to come.
Penny laughed silently at the very idea. Colton King might look like a wild, untamed, crazy adventurer—and he was. But he was also a brilliant businessman who never forgot a detail.
So then if he hadn’t forgotten, why hadn’t he shown up at the hospital this morning as promised? Penny had spent a long, sleepless night, worrying about what she would say to him when he strolled into her room again. Turned out, she needn’t have bothered.
All day, she’d been tied in knots, waiting for him to appear. And he never showed up. Why that should irritate her when she really wished he would just go away and stay away, she didn’t know.
But then, her feelings for Colton King had always confused her. That one week with him had fueled her dreams and her fantasies for months. Even when she was pregnant with the twins he had known nothing about, her mind continued to plague her every night, with alternative endings to their time together. But every morning, she was dragged back to a reality where happily ever afters didn’t exist.
“And you should remember that,” she muttered, giving herself a warning. Yet even while that thought squirmed through her mind, her body bristled with nervous expectation and she couldn’t quite seem to calm it down.
Penny had spent most of the day—when she wasn’t torturing herself with thoughts of Colt—trying desperately to be released from the hospital. Not only couldn’t she afford a lengthy stay—they probably charged a hundred dollars for an aspirin—but she needed to get home. To be with her kids. To be back at her cottage, tucked away from everything so she could... What? Hide? From Colt? Not a chance. Now that he knew the twins existed, Penny would never be free of him.
Her heart rate suddenly jumped into overdrive and she groaned. For heaven’s sake, would she always have that reaction to the man? Wasn’t being tossed aside once enough of a lesson? Did she really want to let him back into her life so he could do it again?
“No way,” she vowed and tossed an angry glance at the still-empty doorway.
A half an hour ago, her stupid doctor had finally arrived to give her one more check and sign her release papers. But had a nurse shown up to wheel her out? No. And every second that passed increased the chances of Colt at last deciding to make an appearance.
Which made her wonder again why he hadn’t come. What was he off doing? Was he at her house, insinuating himself with two babies who wouldn’t have the slightest idea how to protect their hearts? Or maybe, she thought wistfully, he’d changed his mind? Decided to ignore his children after all? Could she be that lucky?
Not a chance, and she knew it. One thing she was sure of as far as the Kings of California were concerned: family meant everything.
During their brief time together, how many stories had Colt told her about his brothers, his cousins, their wives and kids? He’d painted amazing pictures of family gatherings and weddings and christenings, and she’d been both jealous of their deep family connection and intimidated by it.
She didn’t know anything about big families. All she’d had in the world was her younger brother and for years it had been the two of them—united against all comers. Heck, she hadn’t even had a social life before she’d met Colton King and tossed her heart at his feet. She hadn’t exactly been a virgin, but the two encounters before Colt had left her convinced that every woman on the face of the planet was lying about the whole earth-shattering-stars-exploding-orgasm thing.
Which might explain why she’d fallen so hard and so fast for Colt. She actually had seen stars with him. She’d felt things with him she wouldn’t have believed herself capable of. He’d made her feel beautiful and sexy and desirable. He’d swept her off her feet so completely, she’d obviously managed to confuse lust with love. Just look where that had gotten her.
A marriage that hadn’t even been twenty-four hours old when it was dissolved.
She turned her head and looked out the window to a patch of blue sky just visible beyond an old elm tree. Leaves dipped and swayed in the wind she wished she could feel on her face. Maybe it would help clear away all the clutter in her mind.
Because now all she could think of was that last morning with Colt. The day she’d awakened as a bride and in less than ten minutes had become yesterday’s news.
For the past week, they’d spent every possible moment in bed, wrapped up in each other, shutting the rest of the world out of the bubble of passion they’d created. Then on the last night of the convention, they’d been married and had spent hours making love, unable to keep their hands off each other.
But the following morning, with the first feeble rays of sunrise creeping over the sky, Penny had opened her eyes to find Colt standing beside the bed. He was dressed and packed and the expression on his face was grim. Her heart sank and then shattered when he spoke.
“I’m not the marrying kind, Penny.” He pushed one hand through his hair, huffed out an exasperated breath and continued. “Last night was...a mistake. I don’t want a wife. I don’t want kids. Picket fences and the family dog give me hives. This week was nice and the sex was great, but that’s all we share.”
When she tried to speak, he cut her off with a negligent wave of his hand. “I’ll have my lawyer take care of the divorce.”
Finally, one word slipped past the tight knot in her throat. “Divorce?”
“It’s best. For both of us.” He slung his duffel bag over his shoulder, gave her one last look and said, “I’ll have the papers sent to you. Goodbye, Penny.”
And he was gone.
As if their incredible week together had never happened. As if he hadn’t spent every waking moment learning every square inch of her body. As if it was all...nothing.
She could hardly be expected to have warm, fuzzy feelings for him after that, right? And the hot, undulating need she felt was not the same thing at all.
“Oh, this is so not good.”
“Ready to go?” A nurse she’d never seen before popped into the room pushing an empty wheelchair and Penny should have been delighted. But her short trip down memory lane had sort of put a damper on her emotions. Now the time was here. She was leaving the expensive-but-slightly-safer atmosphere of the hospital for her home, where Colton would be showing up, and there was no time left to hide. Nowhere she could run.
But as that thought rose up in her mind, she remembered that scene in the Vegas hotel room again and instinctively stiffened her shoulders. Why should she run? She’d done nothing wrong. She’d only protected her kids from the same heartache she had experienced. She wouldn’t stand by and see their little hearts break when their daddy walked away from them without a backward glance.
“Yes,” she said, lifting her chin, already preparing for the battle she knew was coming. “I’m ready.”
Or as ready as she would ever be.
The efficient nurse pushed her down the hall to the elevator and from there down a long hall headed for the lobby and the wide front doors. As they passed the billing office, Penny turned her head to look up at the nurse. “I’m sorry, but I still have to make financial arrangements and—”
“Oh, sweetie, that’s been taken care of.”
“What?”
The nurse smiled down at her, clearly not registering the look of shock carved into Penny’s features.
“Your husband took care of all of that this morning. He didn’t want you to worry about a thing. Gotta say, you picked a good one there.”
“A good one—my husband—” Dread coiled in the pit of her stomach and sent spindly threads swimming through her veins. Colt had paid her hospital bill. Colt had walked in and taken over and everyone at the hospital had simply fallen into line.
Why that should surprise her she didn’t know. He had the ability to make people jump whether they wanted to or not. Colton King expected to get his own way and knew just how to maneuver people into giving it to him. He’d probably never once considered that she might not want his help. He’d simply done as he always did—steamroller over everything in his path to get what he wanted.
She fumed silently in her wheelchair. It wouldn’t do the slightest bit of good to argue with the hospital. Of course they’d appreciate her bill being paid in full rather than the monthly payments she was going to arrange. Why wouldn’t they take a lump sum? It wasn’t as if they were going to be indebted to the man. But for Penny, this was just one more link to Colt. A link she didn’t want. She hadn’t asked him to ride to the rescue, had she? No. And now, if she wanted to hang on to her pride, she’d have to find a way to pay him back.
The nurse wheeled her outside and the first breath of fresh, salt air lightened Penny’s mood dramatically. Until she saw him.
Colt lounged against a black luxury SUV, his arms folded over his chest, his long legs crossed at the ankle. He looked relaxed, casual, in his boots, blue jeans and dark red shirt. He wore dark glasses over his ice-blue eyes and the wind ruffled his black hair. She thought she heard the nurse behind her give a soft sigh of pure female appreciation, and Penny completely understood.
Just looking at the man was enough to send most women into orgasmic shock. And she was in a better position than most to know that no matter how good a fantasy a woman could spin around him, reality with Colt was so much better.
And in spite of her churning thoughts and suddenly heated, throbbing body, her first instinct was to ask the nurse to turn around. To take her back inside. To run and hide, she was ashamed to admit, even to herself. So she swallowed her nerves, plastered a fake smile on her face and prepared to give the performance of a lifetime.
“Here she is, all ready to go home,” the nurse cooed as Colt pushed off the car and walked closer.
“Right. Thanks.” He slipped one hand under Penny’s arm and helped her stand. Since her knees were feeling a little weak at the moment, she was grateful for the assistance. Even though it was his fault her knees were weak in the first place.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice a husky whisper close to her ear.
She closed her eyes and held her breath. If she had one whiff of his scent, it might just finish her off. “I’m fine. Thanks for picking me up.”
He smirked as if he knew she hadn’t meant a word of that and Penny ground her teeth together. The man was irritating on so many levels. Not the least of which was his apparent ability to read her mind.
She busied herself with the seat belt, only wincing once or twice as she settled herself into the wide, extremely comfortable leather seats. An unwanted comparison to her worn-out four-door sedan jumped into her mind, but she pushed it away again. Her car might not be shiny, with leather seats—and ooh, a minitelevision in the dashboard—but it got her where she was going. So far.
Colt climbed into the driver’s seat, tossed her bag of personal items into the back, then fired up the engine. He hooked his seat belt, checked the mirrors—in fact, did everything but look directly at her. Finally, Penny couldn’t stand it.
“Why are you here?”
He glanced at her briefly. “To take you home.”
“Robert was supposed to pick me up.”
“We came to a different arrangement.”
“You have to stop interfering in my life.”
“No, I really don’t.”
He steered the car down the driveway and out into traffic and she was quiet as the familiar landscape flashed past. Buildings and cars on the left, the ocean on the right as he drove down the Pacific Coast Highway. Sunlight glinted on the surface of the water and made her eyes sting. That’s why they felt teary. Not because of the helpless sensation beginning to build inside her.
“You’re quiet,” he observed. “Unusual for you as I remember.”
“People change.”
“Not normally,” he said. “People are who they are. But situations...they change.”
And here we go, she thought.
“You should have told me,” he said tightly and she risked a quick look at him. His profile was rugged, breathtakingly gorgeous and hard as stone.
“You didn’t want to know,” she said.
“I don’t remember being given a choice.”
“Funny,” she muttered, as the memory of their last morning together rose up in her mind again, “I remember.”
“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
How could he have forgotten? He’d made his choice long before they even met. But that last morning with him, he’d shared it all with her, searing the memories into her mind. If she closed her eyes, she could still see his face, hear his voice and then finally, the receding sound of his footsteps as he walked out of her life.
“I want to know everything, Penny.” He stopped for a red light and threw her a hard look. “Every damn thing that’s happened over the last two years.”
“Eighteen months.”
“Sue me,” he snapped. “I rounded up.”
The light turned green and he stepped on the gas. With his gaze locked on the road, he said, “And when that conversation begins, you can start by telling me why you thought it was a good idea to hide my kids from me.”
“We’re not in hiding.”
“You know what I mean.”
Yeah, she did. And that’s exactly what she had done, though it sounded a lot colder when he said it out loud. “I had my reasons.”
“Can’t wait to hear them,” he assured her.
Outside the car, it was a typical fall day in Southern California. Sun shining, clear sky, about sixty-five degrees. Inside the car, however, it was midwinter in the Arctic. Penny wouldn’t have been surprised to see ice forming on the dashboard. Colt burned cold when he was furious. She’d seen it firsthand at the convention when they’d met.
Their third day together, Penny was running her booth, trying to win some clients for her fledgling sports photography business. A drunk stumbled onto the convention floor from the casino and had made Penny miserable. Hanging about her booth, demanding a kiss she had no intention of giving him. Chasing away potential clients.
But she’d been handling him until he made a grab for her—and before she could take care of the situation herself, Colton had been there. Icy rage in his eyes, he’d grabbed the drunk by the collar of his shirt and half dragged, half walked him off the floor. When he came back to her, Colt’s anger was gone, but concern had been flashing in his eyes and Penny could remember feeling...cherished. Say what you would about equality, it was hard not to feel a thrill when a man was so protective.
He’d come to her rescue and then treated her as if she were made of glass instead of treating her like the fiercely independent woman she was. And she’d loved every minute of it.
He was excitement and tenderness and sex all rolled into one. No wonder she’d fallen so hard, she told herself. No woman in the world would have been able to resist Colton King. That week with him had been the most magical of her life. In a few short days, she’d fallen so completely in love with him. She’d even married him in a sweet, shabby chapel and told herself that it was meant to be. She’d indulged in dreams and imaginings and let herself drift on a tide of the most incredible sex she’d ever experienced and thought somehow that it would all work out.
Until, of course, the world came crashing down on her and reality took a bite of her heart.
And now cold, hard reality was back to do it all again. But this time, she wouldn’t let herself be vulnerable to him. This time, she wouldn’t make the mistake of thinking that a man who showed such passion in bed must feel something for her. This time, she was ready for Colton King.
“You were never going to tell me, were you?”
“No,” she said, not even bothering to give him her list of reasons. They wouldn’t make a difference to him. He didn’t care why—only that she hadn’t told him.
“Well, I know now.”
“It doesn’t change anything, Colt,” she said, turning her head to look at his gorgeous, unyielding profile.
Heat stirred inside her, despite the lingering pain of her emergency surgery. Despite the fact that she hadn’t seen him in eighteen months. Even despite the fact that the morning after their spur-of-the-moment marriage, he’d walked out on her, promising that a divorce lawyer would be in contact with her.
The only reason he was back now was because of the twins. Her babies. And he wasn’t going to get them. She lifted one hand to rub her forehead in a futile attempt to ease the headache making her eyes throb.
“It changes everything and you know it,” he said, voice as tight as the grip he had on the steering wheel. “You should have told me. You had no right to keep my children from me.”
“Rights?” Stunned, headache forgotten, she stared at him as the humiliation of the last time she’d seen him washed over her. “I absolutely had the right to do whatever I had to do to protect my kids.”
“From their father?”
“From anyone who might hurt them.”
His features went stone-still but his eyes were flashing. “And you think I’d hurt them?”
“Not physically, of course not,” she snapped. “But you walked away from me, remember? You’re the one who said you didn’t want to hear from me again. You’re the one who told me that the week we spent together was ‘fun’ but over. Not to mention when you added that the thought of kids gave you hives. Any of this ringing a bell?”
“All of it,” he said. “But I didn’t know you were pregnant, did I?”
“Neither did I.”
“Yeah, but you knew soon after and you didn’t tell me.”
“It wasn’t any of your business.”
He laughed but there was no humor in the sound. “Not my business. I have two children and they’re none of my business.”
“I have two kids. You have nothing.”
“If that’s what you really think, you’re in for a surprise.”
He made the turn that would take him to her house and Penny frowned. “How do you know where I live?”
“Amazing what you can find out if you’re motivated.” He glanced at her, then shifted his gaze back to the shady, tree-lined street in front of him. “For example. I know your business is getting a slow start—switched from sports photography to babies—an interesting choice. I know you don’t have health insurance. And I know that you’re living in your grandmother’s cottage in Laguna.” He took a breath and continued. “Your brother’s engaged to Maria Estrada and is a general practice intern at Huntington Beach hospital. You’re living off your credit cards and your car is fifteen years old.” He spared her another look. “Did I miss anything?”
No, he hadn’t. In fact, Penny worried about what else he might have found out. He’d scratched the surface of her life, but just how deeply had he continued to dig?
“What gives you the right to pry, Colt?” She didn’t like the idea of her past being spread out for him to pick over. Didn’t like feeling as though she’d been exposed. “We spent one week together nearly two years ago.”
“And apparently,” he added, “we made two babies.” He pulled up in front of her house and parked. When he turned the engine off, he faced her and his eyes looked like chips of ice. “That gives me any right I want to claim.”
To avoid looking at him, she stared at the house she loved. A tiny Tudor with dark shutters and beams flat against cream-colored stucco and leaded windows that winked in the last lights of the sun. Ivy climbed along the porch railings and chrysanthemums bloomed dark yellow and purple in the front flower bed. The house was small and cozy and had always, even when she was a child, signified safety and warmth to Penny.
Now she looked at it and felt a sense of peace she desperately needed steal over her.
“I’m not going anywhere, Penny. Get used to it.”
Peace dissolved as a stir of heat erupted inside her again and Penny wanted to shriek with frustration. How could her body respond to a man her brain realized was nothing but trouble? She felt as if she’d been stripped bare in front of him. Her life was nothing more than a series of facts that he felt free to dissect in a cold, dispassionate speech.
But then, that was Colton’s way, wasn’t it? she reminded herself. Unemotional. Detached.
Distanced from any sort of real human contact, he kept his heart—if he had one—locked away behind a steel door that was, as far as she could tell, impenetrable.
Her voice was barely a whisper when she looked into his eyes and asked, “What exactly do you want, Colt?”
“That’s easy,” he said with a shrug. “I want what’s mine.”
A cold, tight fist closed around her heart as he got out of the car, slammed the door and walked around to her side. His? She knew he didn’t mean that he wanted her, so he was talking about her kids. Her babies. Fear coiled around her heart and made breathing almost impossible. But where she might try to run and hide to protect herself—to safeguard her children she was willing to walk into hell itself.
She watched him through the car window and when he opened her door to help her out, she looked into his eyes and said, “You can’t have them.”
