Читать книгу His Little Secret - Джанис Мейнард, Maureen Child - Страница 13
ОглавлениеPenny’s fists curled into the fabric of her nightgown and held on as if it meant her life. And in a way, it did. The tangible, very real feel of what Colt had called her “radioactive” nightshirt reminded her of who she was and where she was. This was her home and he was the intruder. For the moment at least, they were on her turf and she held all the cards.
How long that would last, she couldn’t even guess.
Even from across the room, she felt the magnetic pull of him and had to fight against it. He wasn’t here for her―he was here to rip apart her world.
Pain ripped through her and she hated knowing that he still had the ability to hurt her. She’d worked so hard to get past this. To get over Colton King. And she’d done a pretty good job of it, too. She hardly ever thought of him anymore—well, no more than a few times a day and all night in her dreams—but now he was here again, back in her life. This was going to reset her starting-over clock and soon she’d be going through all the misery she’d already survived once. But better to do it now, she told herself. While the kids were too little to understand. Too small to remember him. To miss him when he was gone.
But their argument was circular. He blamed her for keeping secrets. She blamed him for walking away. There was no middle ground here, so she’d have to try to create some.
“Colt, I get what you’re trying to do.”
“Is that right?”
“But,” she said, ignoring the taunt, “you don’t have to. Just because they’re your family doesn’t mean you have to be here.”
Nodding slowly, he fixed his gaze on hers and she could have sworn she felt the temperature in the room drop a few degrees. “Where should I be?”
She threw her hands up, already forgetting about that calm, cool middle ground she was going to build. Panic wasn’t a good breeding ground for calm and cool. “I don’t know. Bali? Australia? The top of a mountain, or the bottom of the sea?”
“You’re wrong. I should be right here.”
“No, I’m not wrong.” A short, sharp laugh escaped her. “Right now, you’re doing what you think you should, Colt. Not what you want to do. And when this rush of responsibility has faded, you’ll take off again. It’s what you do. It’s who you are.”
Riley chose that moment to crawl to her father and pull herself up by grabbing tiny fistfuls of his jeans. She staggered a little and swayed more than a few times, but Colt sat perfectly still, watching his daughter grow and develop right before his eyes. Her black hair curled around her ears, her blue eyes shone with happiness and her chubby hands slapped at his legs in triumph as she finally found her feet.
He covered one tiny hand with his and stroked his thumb over Riley’s smooth skin. Penny’s foolish, gullible heart gave a ping of tenderness at what she was seeing and just for a second or two, she caught a glimpse of what might have been.
Finally, Colt looked at her again. “I’m here. Whether you like it or not, and you’re just going to have to deal with my presence.”
Not for long, she promised herself, determined not to be touched by the gentle way he treated the twins. Not to be swayed by the warmth in his eyes. She’d been fooled once by Colton King. She’d believed that he had felt the same way she had—swept away by a powerful and unexpected swell of love. And she’d been crushed. Devastated.
In fact, the only thing that had held her together after signing his divorce papers was finding out she was pregnant.
Knowing that she would have a child—then two—helped her to refocus her life. To concentrate the love she’d thought she’d lost onto two children who had become the very center of her life.
She wouldn’t allow Colt to hurt her again. Or worse, to hurt the twins with his callous disinterest in real, honest feelings.
“I’m here. Deal with it,” Colt told her, his voice steely with determination. “Besides, you’re just out of the hospital and you need help, whether you want to admit it or not.”
She wanted to argue, but the pain in her abdomen made that impossible. Looking up at Colt, Penny had to admit, at least to herself, that she wasn’t going to win this one. And if she kept arguing, she’d only end up looking like an idiot. She was in no shape to take care of herself, let alone the twins. Colt was right. She did need help.
She just didn’t want to need him.
Still, he was here and maybe... She nearly smiled as something occurred to her. Maybe if Colt was here, in the middle of what was Penny’s normal chaotic life, if he could experience firsthand just how much work two babies could be, he would leave that much sooner.
Right now, she knew he was running on anger and regret that he was only now finding out about the twins. But sooner or later, his natural inclination to take off would kick in. He might not be able to admit it to himself, but Penny knew that even now, that itch was gnawing at him. If she let him stay, let him take care of the twins, it might be enough to push him away that much faster. And though it pained her to think of him leaving again, she knew it was for the best that it happened fast.
“Okay,” she said.
“Okay what?” He looked at her, suspicion gleaming in his eyes.
“Okay, you’re right. I do need help and you are the twins’ father.”
“Uh-huh.” If anything, his eyes narrowed even further.
She gave him a smile that cost her some of her pride. “Don’t look so surprised. You convinced me, that’s all.”
“Is that right?”
Penny sighed. “Colt, you wanted me to agree with you and I have.”
“That’s what worries me,” he admitted quietly, his suspicious gaze still locked on her.
Reid crawled at top speed across the floor to join his sister. Grabbing hold of Colt’s jeans, he pulled himself up, and laughed in delight as he and Riley took turns slapping their palms against Colt’s thigh. For a minute or two, he simply watched them, a smile curving his mouth, and when he looked over at Penny again, that smile was still reflected in his eyes.
She felt a way-too-familiar jolt of something that she knew was dangerous. Attraction mingled with old feelings of love that were already being rekindled. But she didn’t want that fire again. Didn’t want to get burned by her own emotions being tossed at the feet of a man who had already made it clear that he didn’t want them.
But she knew there was no way to stop what she felt for Colt. The only remedy would be to get him to leave as soon as possible. Then she could lose herself in her kids and her work and pretend that there wasn’t a large, gaping wound in her heart.
* * *
The next morning, after a hideously sleepless night, thanks to red-hot dreams of Colt, Penny stood in the bathroom studying her reflection in the mirror. Right away, she really wished she had simply draped a towel over the mirror instead.
Her hair was wild, her face looked pale and she really wanted a shower but didn’t think she’d be able to manage it on her own. And frankly, the thought of asking Colt for help with that problem was too much to consider. Just thinking about being wet and slippery with Colt’s hands moving over her soap-slicked body made her want to whimper with need. Which was just enough to make her push aside the fantasy and deal with reality.
He’d stormed into her life and was so busy laying claim to everything around her that Penny felt as though she had to make a stand.
Frowning, she let her gaze drop. All right, yes, her nightgown wasn’t the most attractive piece of clothing she’d ever owned, but it was hers. Just as this house, these kids, were hers. And as for the nightgown being a man repellent, maybe she should have it tattooed onto her skin. But that would only take care of keeping Colt away from her. She couldn’t think of a thing to keep her from wanting him. Except, of course, that large dose of reality. Too bad that whenever she was around Colt she tended to do more feeling than thinking.
Shaking her head at the sad, sad woman in the mirror, Penny brushed her hair, washed her face and then got dressed. A long-sleeved green T-shirt over some comfy old jeans and she thought she was ready to face Colt.
Naturally, she couldn’t have been more wrong.
“What are you doing?” She walked into the kitchen, a little steadier on her feet, thank heaven, than she had been the day before. But what she found in the kitchen had her swaying. In indignation. Colt sat at her small round table, her laptop open in front of him and stacks of unpaid bills laid out around him.
Humiliation was a living, breathing thing inside her. With this latest invasion of her privacy, she felt as if he’d stripped her bare and she was so furious about it, she was practically vibrating.
Colt barely glanced up from her computer. “I’m paying your bills.”
“You can’t do that,” she managed to say through gritted teeth.
“Sure I can. All you need is money and I’ve got plenty.”
Another verbal slap—another reminder of just how different their lives were—and she felt it right down to her bones. He was a King. He had more money than she could ever dream of and here he was, tossing it in her face. Just to make sure she knew where she stood in this particular battle.
He looked so confident, so sure of himself, sitting there in a slice of sunlight while the twins happily feasted on the Cheerios scattered across their tray tables.
“I don’t care how much money you have, Colt.” Lies, lies. If he were poor, she wouldn’t be so worried about what he could do to her life. But no, he just had to be one of the richest men in California. “I pay my bills with my money.”
One black eyebrow quirked. “Not lately, you haven’t.”
Her gaze swept the embarrassingly tall stack of bills that he slapped one big hand on top of.
“Things have been a little slow lately businesswise, but it’s about to pick up.” Defensively, she folded her arms across her chest. “Just butt out, Colt.”
“Nope, can’t do it,” he said, lifting his gaze to hers at last.
His features were cold, hard, and his eyes glinted like chips of ice in the sun. He looked out of place in her bright, sage-green kitchen with its yellow cabinets and old scarred floors.
“By the looks of this mess, you’re in deep and sinking fast.”
Who knew there was more humiliation to be felt, Penny thought. Lying awake nights worrying about how to pay her bills was her business. She hated that now he knew all about it, too. With no other choice in how to handle the situation, she stiffened her spine, lifted her chin and did what she always did when she was faced with immutable facts. She brazened her way through.
“I’m building a business,” she argued. “That takes time. Something you wouldn’t know about, I’m guessing, because the Kings don’t have to actually work for a living.”
Inwardly, she winced at the snide tone in her voice. She even knew that what she said wasn’t true. But more than that, waving a red flag in front of an already-raging bull was never a good idea. Still, was she supposed to simply stand there and be made to feel like a failure?
As she watched, the chips of ice in his eyes grew flintier. More forbidding. “The Kings have money, yeah,” he said, every word covered in frost. “But we’re expected to work. To build our businesses, and we do. Every last damn one of us works our asses off and we’re good at it.”
She flushed. “I know. But you don’t know what it’s like to do it all alone, do you?”
He took a breath, scrubbed one hand across his face, then nodded. “Fine. You might have a point.” His gaze fixed on hers, he added, “But that’s only more reason you should have contacted me. I would’ve helped.”
“That’s what you don’t get. I didn’t want your help,” she reminded him and realized that she sounded like a whiny child.
Irritated at herself as well as him, she crossed the room in a flash and grabbed for the closest pile of papers.
Colt was faster. He snatched them up and flipped through them with a casual ease that made her even more furious.
“Electric, gas, phone, cable...” He paused and looked up at her. “Credit cards. You were behind on all of them.”
“I make payments,” she said, embarrassment tangling with outrage and getting lost in the shuffle.
“Does the phrase ‘paid in full’ mean anything to you?” he asked, voice quiet, controlled.
“Not really. I pay them what I can when I can.”
“Well, now you don’t owe anyone,” he said flatly.
It would have been really wrong of her to actually experience a sweep of relief, so of course, she didn’t allow herself to feel anything like that at all.
“Except you,” she pointed out and felt the heavy weight of that little fact settle onto her shoulders.
She really was going to have to kill Robert, she told herself firmly. And her brother probably suspected that was her plan since he hadn’t come around in a while. If he hadn’t gone to Colt none of this would be happening.
“You already owe me,” he said, bringing her up out of her thoughts.
“For what?” He’d already swept her ordinary world into oblivion. What more could he possibly expect from her?
He just stared at her as silence grew and thickened in the air between them. “Time. I lost eight months with the twins. And the nine months you were pregnant. I didn’t see their birth. Didn’t see their first smiles or see them crawl for the first time.” He shook his head slowly, his gaze still pinning her like a bug to a board. “So don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. You kept my children from me, Penny. I’m not forgetting that.”
“Neither am I,” she said softly, as a flicker of shame joined the tumult of emotions rattling around inside her. She still believed she’d done the right thing, but seriously, the way Colt had reacted to the news of the twins’ existence had really surprised her. She hadn’t thought he’d be interested enough to come and see them, let alone stay there, in the house, taking care of two babies who could bring a grown man to his knees.
But even as she thought it, she knew that his actions now didn’t mean he would stay.
“That doesn’t mean you get to stick your nose into every aspect of my life. How I live is none of your business, Colt.”
“It is when it concerns my children,” he countered neatly. “I looked through your bills because your brother told me you didn’t have health insurance. I was worried about the twins. But it seems they’re covered and those payments are up to date.”
“Of course they are,” she told him hotly, making another grab for the papers he held in his hand. “I would never take chances with the twins’ health.”
“But you do with your own.”
“I never get sick.”
One black eyebrow lifted again and his gaze dropped meaningfully to the fresh scar on her abdomen, now hidden beneath her T-shirt.
Her eyes rolled practically to the back of her head. “Appendicitis is something different. That could happen to anyone.”
“Which is why we have health insurance,” he said, tone so calm and patient she wanted to shriek.
“I can take care of myself, Colt. I’ve been doing it most of my life—” She closed her mouth fast before she said more than she wanted to about that. Her past wasn’t the point here anyway. Staring at the pile of bills he still held in one tight fist, she thought of something else to throw at him, as well. “You had no right to pay off my hospital bill, either.”
“Again,” he pointed out, “someone had to.”
“But that someone doesn’t have to be you.”
Two days, she told herself. He’d been back in her world about two days and already, things were turned upside down. She didn’t want to be indebted to him and if he kept this up, she’d never be able to repay him.
“This cottage is paid for—that’s good,” he was saying. “But when I took the twins into the yard this morning, I noticed you need a new roof.”
“Yes, it’s on my list and I’ll get to it as soon as I can.” That list was miles long though, and the roof was much closer to the bottom of that list than the top. With any luck, rain would be scarce again this winter and she wouldn’t have to worry about the roof for another year.
“The roofer will be here on Friday,” he said.
Control, like a single, slippery thread, was sliding out of her hands and Penny kept grasping at it fruitlessly. Colton King was a tank. A gorgeous, sexy tank. He simply mowed over whoever or whatever stood in his way, flattening everything in his path.
And she knew that he would do the very same to her if she tried to stand between him and the twins. But what kind of mother would she be if she didn’t try to protect her kids from having their little hearts broken? No. She had to hold her ground, not give him another inch, or he would completely take over her life.
“You can’t buy me a new roof,” she said, keeping her voice quiet and her tone even.
“Already done.” He stacked the now-paid bills on the other side of the computer, where she couldn’t reach them easily. Then he leaned back in his chair, folded his arms over his chest and said, “I called my cousin Rafe. His construction crew will be out here on Friday. They’re checking for termites while they’re at it, since these old cottages are like an all-you-can-eat buffet for those bugs—”
“Dam— Darn it, Colt,” she corrected herself quickly with a guilty glance at the babies sitting close by. They would be talking soon and she didn’t want them picking up the wrong words. “I don’t want you doing this.”
“When the first rain hits, you’ll thank me,” he assured her.
When she first woke up this morning, Penny had actually felt better. Less sore, less tired. Now, she felt as though she needed to go back to bed. If she slept long enough, maybe he would be gone when she woke up again. But even as that idle wish floated through her mind, she set it free because she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Colt wouldn’t leave until he was good and ready. And when he did go, there would be no stopping him.
Drawing out the chair beside him, she eased down into it and looked him dead in the eye. “You can’t just come into my life and reorder it to suit yourself.”
“I paid some bills,” he said. “You obviously need the money and I can afford it, so what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is that I pay my own way.” Silently, she gave herself a cheer for remaining very cool and logical. “I take care of myself and my family.”
He looked at her through serious, cool blue eyes. “But that’s the thing, isn’t it? The twins are my family, too.”
Her heart iced over and her stomach sank. This is what she’d been afraid of. That Colt would find out about the twins and immediately claim them. Brush her aside—or steamroller her—and take what he wanted.
A bank of clouds rushed across the sun, sending an intermittent mix of light and shadow into the kitchen. The twins were babbling happily to each other and for the first time, Penny didn’t wonder what they were saying, or if they could understand each other. She was too busy trying to understand the subtext of what Colt was saying.
Was he laying claim to his children? Was he already laying the groundwork for pushing Penny out of her babies’ lives? Fear became a knot in the center of her chest. For most of her life, she’d taken care of herself. She’d solved her own problems, made her own happiness. Now her life was suddenly out of her control and she didn’t have a clue how to deal with it. The one thing she did know was that she wouldn’t surrender. Not without a fight.
She kept her voice low and calm when she asked, “Colt, what is it you’re after? Just tell me flat out what you expect to happen.”
He leaned in toward her, flashed a quick look at the babies, then shifted his gaze back to her. Cloud shadow moved over his features, making his eyes look more distant, more...mysterious.
“I expect my kids to be well taken care of. To have what they need.”
“They do,” she argued in a choked whisper. Hadn’t she been working herself nonstop to ensure just that? She might be a little late on her bills, but they all would have been paid. Eventually. And her kids didn’t want for anything. “The twins are healthy and they’re happy.”
She reached out and laid one hand on his forearm. She let him go again instantly and regretted touching him at all, because a zing of reaction shot from her hand, up her arm, to ricochet around the inside of her chest like a ball of heat. That overpowering attraction they’d shared right from the start was obviously alive and well and now throbbing deep inside her. Ignoring her body’s clamoring need, she swore, “They’ll never go without.”
“You’re right about that,” he said and leaned back in his chair again. He looked every inch a King—in name and profession—lounging comfortably as if he hadn’t a care in the world. While Penny sat opposite him, her stomach churning, her mind racing.
This was what it was to be as wealthy as God, she told herself. Colt was so used to being able to command whatever he wanted done, he didn’t even think about it. He’d ordered a new roof for her house as easily as she bought a gallon of milk.
Somehow, over the last eighteen months, she’d managed to forget that easy arrogance he carried with him. She’d forgotten that his way of life was so different from hers that they might as well have lived on different planets.
“Don’t try to fight me on this, Penny,” he warned. “You’ll lose.”
“Don’t be so sure,” she countered with more confidence than she felt. What could she possibly do in a battle with one of the Kings of California? He had a fleet of lawyers at his beck and call and a bank account that was endless. If this ended up going to court, then she didn’t stand a chance against him and she knew it. So what she had to do was make sure it never went before a judge. She couldn’t trust that the courts would choose a mother’s love over a father who could support the twins so easily.
“Really?” he asked, clearly amused. “You think you can take me on?”
Oh, there was more than one meaning to that question. She knew, because her body started buzzing and heat sizzled in his eyes, melting the ice. Penny dropped her gaze from his because she didn’t want him to see what he could do to her so easily. She only wished it was as simple to hide her reactions from herself.
“I’ve done something else this morning that you should probably know about,” he said.
She swallowed hard, hoping her voice wouldn’t sound choked when she said, “What’s left?”
“You know your bills are all current now, but I’ve also transferred money into your bank account—”
“You what?”
He smiled. “I transferred money into your account.”
Her blood pressure had to be through the roof because she could actually hear her heartbeat in her ears. “How much money?”
One eyebrow lifted. “Greedy?”
“Appalled,” she corrected.
He shrugged. “Most women would be delighted to have a half million dollars dropped into their bank accounts.”
