Читать книгу Freshman Year, 91-92 - Megan B. March - Страница 6

It was another week before I saw Kyle again, yet I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I wondered why, in a school of 1800, I had trouble seeing him even once a week. Did he skip class? How long was he in school? Did he even go to school? It was agonizing not seeing him or being able to continue our conversation. I had thought a lot, maybe too much, about what our entire conversation would have been like if he hadn’t walked away.

Not being known for my patience, I made up my mind on Friday to actively seek him out and discover what he really thought of me. I figured lunch was probably a better time than any, so I ditched Aria and Krissa and gave them the excuse that I had to talk to my math teacher.

My first stop was the auto shop parking lot where all the people who could drive hung out. Most were there smoking since it was far enough away from school that they wouldn’t get caught by the assistant principal. He patrolled religiously, but for some reason didn’t come too close to this particular parking lot. To get an overview of it, I walked to a concrete walkway known as “the overpass” that bridged the school and the parking lot. I knew I’d find him if he was there, but only saw a few people dressed in Carhartt jackets, none of them with curly blonde hair.

My next stop was a bank of senior lockers on the second floor where I caught a glimpse of Nikki hanging out with Collin, Tye, and Joe. She had been hanging out with Collin a lot, and this time when I waved a hello I noticed she had her fingers intertwined with his. They must be an item now.

I kept walking, trying the first floor. I doubted he’d be there, but sometimes you could catch a senior or two walking through. Mostly freshman and sophomores had lockers there on the first floor, but a few were also on the third where mine was located.

Searching through the sea of students there I tried to find Kyle, but no luck. I decided to chance running into Aria and Krissa and did a stealthy sweep of the commons area. I looked out beyond the large windows that lined the commons and noticed Aria walking outside with some guy dressed in black jeans and a black leather jacket. He looked like trouble, but those were the types Aria usually went for. Krissa was nearby sitting on some guy’s lap in the middle of the commons, playing with his hair.

“What is it with everyone?” I said under my breath and kept walking, glancing again at Krissa and the guy with the hair.

“What do you mean?” said a voice out of nowhere. I stopped short, almost running into the thick, round pillar that Kyle was leaning against. He had heard me above the dull roar of the lunch crowd. I guess I hadn’t commented as quietly as I’d hoped. When I didn’t answer, he pulled a half-smile and asked, “Are you looking for someone?”

“Oh, yeah. Actually, I was looking for you,” I surprisingly answered. He continued to lean against the pillar with his arms crossed over his chest.

“And here I am,” he said nonchalantly. I couldn’t tell if he was just cocky or uncaring, but I’d figure it out later.

“I need to go outside for a sec,” he said as he unfolded his arms, turned around and walked away. I started to turn and make my way to anywhere else, but he spoke again and caught me by surprise. “You coming?” I turned to see him looking at me with a questioning look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m coming,” I said as I jogged to catch up with him. I’m not a mind reader.

We stepped outside in the misty cold. It wasn’t raining, but I was sure it soon would be. As we walked through the parking lot, Kyle dug into the inside pocket of his faded brown Carhartt. He pulled out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, offering me a cigarette but I shook my head no. He lit up, taking a drag every once and a while and we walked in silence.

“You’re pretty quiet,” he mentioned between drags of his cigarette. “Were you looking for me to talk, or …?”

“Talk,” I cut him off, not knowing what the ‘or’ was about. “Listen,” I began, taking in a slow breath and wondering if he could see my hands shaking. “I like you and want to get to know you. I thought we might hang out or even go out sometime.”

“What do you mean, ‘go out’?” Kyle had a smirk on his face. “Like dinner or a movie or something?”

I smiled to answer that’s what I had in mind. It was like when I was back in seventh grade, going to the movies with my boyfriend. Kyle only shook his head, took the last drag on his cigarette and stomped it out on the sidewalk.

“Hey, Kyle! Are you coming or what?” I looked up ahead and saw another senior sticking his head out of a red Toyota truck.

“Yeah, Jon, be right there.” Kyle turned toward me. “I’ll see you later. Thanks for the company.” He turned and jogged off to get into Jon’s truck.

I watched them drive away, noticing Jon glance at me and then turning toward Kyle, who I caught laughing and shrugging. Jon was sure to ask Kyle who I was, and I wondered what Kyle was telling him. Her? She’s just some frosh. My anger began to rise as I balled up my fists, trying to shake his words from my head. Why am I letting him get to me?

The first bell rang as I entered the school building after Kyle took off with Jon.

“Mia! Mia!” I turned to see Aria running toward me, yelling. She was out of breath and I could only guess why.

“What were you up to?” I asked.

“Oh, probably the same as you—I saw you walking with Kyle. What’d he have to say?” I didn’t really want to talk about it, so I changed the subject.

“Who’s that?” I nodded toward the guy in the black leather jacket and black jeans who I had seen Aria with earlier. He was now walking away across the parking lot. Aria tightly grabbed my arm and pulled me in as we started toward our locker.

“Oh … my … God … he is so fine! His name’s Jack Rexson and I met him yesterday. Today he asked me if I wanted to walk to the deli at lunch, and he’s coming over to my house this weekend.” Aria broke into a wide grin.

“So, you two are together or what?” I asked, a little impatiently. I was still upset at Kyle, but Aria failed to catch my snippiness.

“Not yet, but I’m sure we will be after this weekend.” Her eyes sparkled at the mention of the weekend.

I rolled my eyes ever so slightly and checked my watch. We had three minutes to get to our locker before class started, so I grabbed Aria and pulled her along. “C’mon, you don’t want to be late for class.”

That afternoon after school, I was lying on my bed and trying to figure out my geometry homework. My thoughts kept going to how Kyle had acted earlier. At first he had wanted me to go with him, but then all of the sudden he blew me off and left with his friend. There’s no figuring him out.

I put my pencil down and sat back on my bed against the pillows with my arm over my eyes to block out the light pouring through the window. Almost immediately I imagined Kyle’s face, but this time instead of blowing me off he was leaning in and softly kissing my lips. “Let’s talk about this on Saturday,” I heard him whisper. “I’ll pick you up.” My fingers reached up and stroked his chin before I leaned up to kiss him once more before he left.

Kyle’s lingering kiss was only a dream, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. I rolled over, letting my geometry book fall to the floor. No bother, I’d ask Krissa about the assignment later. Right now all I wanted was to get back to my dreams of Kyle. Leaning back deeper into my pillows, I let myself drift off to sleep.

The phone loudly rang, waking me out of a peaceful sleep. I glanced at the clock and noticed it was six-thirty in the evening.

“Hello?” I tried to hide the sleep in my voice.

“Mia, don’t tell me you were sleeping! You’re supposed to be going to the dance—first dance of our high school lives!” Krissa was ecstatic. She lived for anything that was a rite of passage for a teenager. We had made plans to attend when it was announced during the morning announcements in first period.

“I … I wasn’t,” I stammered. “I was trying to … to do the geometry homework,” I lied. I could almost see her roll her eyes.

“My sister will pick you up in an hour, okay? I talked to Aria and she said she’d meet us there. I think Jack is giving her a ride or something. I told her I’d call you.” There was no denying the buzz in Krissa’s voice.

“Alright,” I said, rubbing my eyes, “I’ll get ready. See you soon.” I hung up and for the next ten minutes, I stayed in bed and stared up at the ceiling. When I finally did get up, I felt drugged and unmotivated as I opened my closet doors to pick out a pair of black leggings, a black sleeveless turtleneck, and my favorite button-up hooded pullover with purple and black stripes. They were just light enough that I wouldn’t sweat too much if I actually danced. A pair of black Keds finished off my ‘first dance’ outfit, and I was quite pleased when I changed and looked at myself in the mirror. Pulling my dark brown hair up into a ponytail just might help to pull my face into a smile if I did it tight enough, I decided.

Making one last check in the mirror after twenty minutes of grooming, I touched up my mascara and lip gloss. Everything else looked to be in place and my face looked good, even though I had my arm over my eyes for most of my slumber and could have easily had red, swollen eyes. Thank God for small favors.

Glancing at the clock I saw there was enough time for a quick bite before Krissa and her sister picked me up. After a few minutes of poking around in the freezer, I decided on a Swanson chicken TV dinner with mashed potatoes, corn, and a brownie. Nothing like home cooking. Five minutes later, I was enjoying my quick bite.

As I picked at the chicken I thought again about Kyle. Why did he have to be so smooth, so good-looking? His eyes seemed to hide a lot, yet they were warm and drew me in. I remembered the way his lips looked when he took a drag from his cigarette; pink, slightly plump, soft. I shook the thought out of my head and finished eating. I had to stop before I became obsessed—or maybe I was already there.

A quick time-check showed that I only had about fifteen minutes left before Krissa and her sister would be by to pick me up. It was just time enough to brush my teeth and kick-back for a few minutes. Leaning back in front of a silent television, I closed my eyes and immediately saw Kyle leaning against one of the pillars that bordered the commons. I could see his casual smile, the way he crossed his arms as he leaned, his curly blonde hair. Oh, I’m hopeless.

Two car honks from outside startled me. My eyes fluttered open and I jumped up, grabbed my purse and keys and opened the door. Krissa was on her way up the steps of the little two-story house I shared with my mother.

“Hey, you ready?” she asked, but before I could answer she added, “come on, my sister’s waiting.”

We climbed into her sister’s new Chrysler Eagle Talon, taking care not to bump our heads on the low door frame. Kylie, Krissa’s sister, turned around and greeted me.

“Nice car,” I told her. “Birthday present?” Kylie had just turned seventeen and had been driving a 1985 silver Ford Tempo.

“To myself,” she answered. “Work has been very good. Are you ready to see what this baby can do?”

Kylie smiled ruthlessly as she looked in the rearview and grabbed the stick shift, slamming it into reverse and shooting the car backward. Kylie then threw it into first and shot forward with my stomach meeting my spine. The car was fast, that was for sure.

Kylie got us to the school in three minutes flat; a record time. As the three of us unloaded from the car and walked up to the school, I couldn’t help but scan the line of waiting people to see if Kyle was one of them. No luck. I did see Aria and Jack, though, in a deep lip-lock.

“Ugh, get a room,” Krissa said, echoing my exact thoughts out loud.

Aria must have developed exceptional hearing, because she stopped kissing Jack just in time to see us walking their way. “Hey you guys, over here!” she yelled. “We saved you a place in line!”

I wasn’t particularly happy cutting in front of other people, especially when they gave you the evil eye; however, no one was going to say anything with Jack right there.

Aria could barely wait for us to get in line before making introductions. “Mia, Krissa, this is Jack. Kylie, you know Jack already.” I couldn’t help but catch the way she said the last bit as Kylie and Jack politely acknowledged one another. It took a minute for him to notice Krissa and me.

From what I could tell, Jack had a hard shell outside. He smoked, started fights, and probably did drugs as well, but I liked him the moment Aria introduced him. He seemed to be a complete teddy bear toward Aria, and anyone who was a friend of hers was a friend of his as well. I had a feeling that Jack would have my back if I ever needed him to. It was also nice to have another senior as a friend.

After we each paid our five bucks, I pulled Krissa aside and asked what was up with Kylie knowing Jack. Krissa rolled her eyes and looked over her shoulder before sharing.

“Well,” Krissa started, “Kylie and Jack dated last year. It was pretty serious until our mom found out and had a fit. She didn’t want Kylie involved with anyone who did drugs, much less even looked like he did drugs.”

“Do you think he still dabbles?” I whispered.

“I don’t know, but I’ll bet Aria does. Anyway, let’s go enjoy ourselves. Let Aria deal with her new boyfriend’s habits.” Krissa pulled me toward the dance floor.

The deejay began playing Snow’s Lady with the Red Dress On, and Krissa cried out how she loved the song. She wanted me to dance with her because there were probably no guys there who would ask us. I jokingly scoffed and we both started dancing to the music. Aria joined in a few minutes later without Jack, explaining between verses that he wouldn’t dance unless the song was slow. I suddenly wondered what kind of music Kyle liked, and if he danced at all.

The song ended much too quickly and Krissa wanted to know if I was hungry. I said that I could use a Diet Coke, and the two of us went to stand in line at the school’s store, leaving Aria to go and cuddle up with Jack.

“So, anything new with Kyle?” Krissa had kept her silence on the subject the whole week and I could tell it was eating her up. She was a much better friend in that respect than Aria. She didn’t like to rub salt in fresh wounds.

“Not really. We walked down the street at lunch today, but he didn’t say much.”

“Who initiated the walk, you or him?”

“He asked me, but it was weird.”

“How so?”

I nudged Krissa as the line was moving and then answered her. “Well, he said he had to go and walked off, so naturally I thought he was just ditching me again. When I turned to walk away, he asked if I was coming with him.”

“Wow, like you can read minds?” She had her hands on her hips and her brow was furrowed.

“I know; my thought exactly!”

I pointed Krissa on as we were up. She gave an order for pizza and a Dr. Pepper, and then pointed to me. I just ordered a Diet Coke since I had already eaten before we came. We had our order within a few minutes and sat on the outskirts of the commons on the floor, both eating in silence and people-watching. Every now and then, Krissa would snicker at someone’s awkward dance moves and I would counter with a smile. After we finished, instead of dancing again right away, we sat cross-legged and watched people slow-dancing to Queensryche.

“I love Silent Lucidity. Wish I had someone to dance with,” Krissa said, looking around.

“What about that guy you were sitting on at lunch?” I suddenly recalled what I’d seen.

“Oh, Dean Anderson? We were just flirting; we do that. We’re not an item, you know, and he’s not here anyway.”

We caught sight of Aria and Jack, swaying to the music. They melted into each other as Aria played with his shoulder-length hair. He held her by the small of her back, pulling her as close as he could get away with by the chaperone’s standards.

“So, tell me what else happened with Kyle.”

“Well, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I sort of asked him out on a date,” I whispered.

“You did? That’s awesome! I’m hearing a ‘but’ in there.”

“Well, that’s the thing. He didn’t really answer me. His friend called him over and he left.” Krissa bit her lip, mulling over what I’d just told her. She didn’t say much and appeared to be deep in thought. Like a true friend who knows when to let it go, she didn’t comment any further on the situation. I’m sure the look on my face had something to do with her reaction as well. Eventually, the fast music came back on and we were able to rejoin the dancing ranks.

After the dance, Krissa and I found ourselves waiting outside by Kylie’s car and dancing around to keep warm. Krissa soon spotted Kylie up by the school, but she was not alone. I strained to recognize whose body Kylie’s was entangled with, and was shocked to see that it was the guy who had picked Kyle up after lunch. I told Krissa as much, but she had no idea who he was.

“His name is Jon.” I spun around, caught by surprise. There was Kyle, walking toward us with a smug look on his face.

“Were you at the dance?” I asked, trying to be casual. “I wouldn’t have pegged you for the dancing-type.”

“No, Jon and I were just in the area. Kylie said she’d be here, so we stopped.”

“Are they dating?” Krissa asked.

I had almost forgotten Krissa was standing there, so her voice startled me and I jumped a bit. That’s what Kyle did to me for some reason. Whenever he talked or was nearby, it was like no one else was around.

“Yeah, something like that,” Kyle said. “Looks like they’re wrapping up,” he added, lifting his chin toward them.

I looked and saw what he was talking about. Kylie and Jon were kissing each other passionately; Jon’s hands were holding her face tenderly.

“Wow,” I said under my breath. I coughed right away so Kyle and Krissa wouldn’t hear my longing to have someone kiss me like that … someone like Kyle.

“See you later,” Kyle said and began to walk away.

“Yeah, see you later,” I called after him. Kyle began to jog across the street just as Kylie came running over.

“Sorry, guys, but Jon wanted to see me.”

“About time, geez! We’re freezing our butts off over here!” Krissa scowled. “I didn’t know you had a boyfriend. How do you know him?”

“I think the more interesting question is; how you two know Kyle?” Kylie countered.

“What do you mean?” I asked, climbing into her Talon. “What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s trouble, and kind of a player,” she informed me. “I’d stay away from him. Definitely not like Jon. I’m not even sure why they’re friends.”

I could feel my stomach sink, but I wanted to know more about Kyle—good or bad. Krissa saw my mouth pulling down into a frown and poked me to get my attention. “She doesn’t really know him,” she assured me, “it’s just rumors. Don’t put too much stock into what Kylie is saying.”

I wished Krissa’s assurance made me feel better, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Kylie’s words. People always say there is some truth to the grapevine, but I couldn’t get her comments out of my head. The guy didn’t have a good reputation and it felt like every time his name was mentioned, bombs would go off in my face. If they’d been real, I’d be full of shrapnel by now.

I didn’t see Kyle at school the following Monday and decided that instead of wasting time looking for him after school, I’d go spend some quality time at the downtown library to get what I needed for a report that was due the next week. Once there, I searched the non-fiction isles and found a certain title that would help me get started that didn’t weigh ten pounds.

Flipping through the book and stopping to read every few pages, I noticed someone walking toward me. At first, I figured it was the librarian, coming to tell me to stop leaning on the books, so I straightened up. As the person came up right next to me and slowed, I looked up. It was Kyle. What in the world is he doing in a library?

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked, but Kyle only answered me by suddenly grabbing my face with both hands and kissing me. I was caught by surprise, but my body knew what to do.

The kiss was no longer than ten seconds, but it seemed to last forever. Kyle’s lips were soft and warm against my own. I could feel the temperature on my skin rise a few degrees as his tongue danced lightly along my lips, eventually intertwining with my own. When it was over, he turned and walked away, leaving me there feeling dazed for some time. What had just happened?

I knew I had to tell someone before the euphoria that I felt wore off, so I called both Aria and Krissa from the nearest pay phone—neither answered. I couldn’t believe they weren’t available when I had such news to share! I grunted and roughly hung up the pay phone’s receiver outside of the library. I decided it was time to go home. I tried Krissa and Aria again that evening, but no dice. I would just have to wait until the morning to tell one or both of them.

That whole night I tossed and turned, trying to make sense of Kyle’s kiss. Around two o’clock, after finally drifting off, I dreamed about Kyle and being in his arms. His touch was as soft as his kiss, and he traced his fingers along my neck, murmuring his feelings for me. The dream could not have lasted long enough.

The next morning I woke up feeling pleasant, but exhausted. The clock read six-thirty and I rolled out of bed and hopped into the shower. At least I had a few moments to myself under the hot water to think about where my dream possibly may have led to next.

I didn’t see Aria before math, so afterwards I waited for her just outside of science class. I was a bit annoyed when she showed up just before the last bell, but that didn’t keep me from telling her that my crush of all time had kissed me.

“Details, I need details!” she screamed.

“Well, if you had come just a bit earlier, I’d have time to share,” I teased, pulling her along with me into the classroom.

As luck would have it, we had a substitute for science class, and to top it off we were to watch a movie. Aria and I whispered back and forth in the back of the room as I gave her all the details that I could recall. It seemed so surreal and I was sure I had them right, but I also felt like my mind went a little wild and imagined part of it. Aria was as excited as I was.

Between classes, I made it a point to walk near the areas I thought Kyle would be. I wanted to see if he’d show some kind of reaction when he saw me. At least that would give a better idea of where we stood. I didn’t have any luck, that is, until lunch time when I spotted him walking across the overpass towards the school. My heart raced and I grabbed Aria by the sleeve of her jacket. She ran out the door and raced ahead of me to Kyle. I held back just a bit because I didn’t how he would act toward me.

Aria and Kyle exchanged a few words before she abruptly turned away and rushed back to where I was slowly walking. The look on her face was unintelligible as she pulled me back inside and said, “It didn’t mean what you think it did.” Before I could probe her on what exactly he said to her, Kyle suddenly appeared next to me.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked nonchalantly.

“Not much. You?” I wanted to hide. Oh, why couldn’t Aria tell me everything before I had to face Kyle? Luckily, though, he left as quickly as he had appeared, giving me time to quiz Aria before my next class.

“It doesn’t matter what he said exactly,” Aria insisted as she rummaged through our locker. “Just that it didn’t mean the same thing for him as it did for you.” She slammed the locker shut. “I think he was just messing with you.”

For some reason Aria didn’t want to say more than that, so I dropped it. I also dropped any idea of getting together with Kyle. My pride was too hurt to have much to do with him from that point on.