Читать книгу Freshman Year, 91-92 - Megan B. March - Страница 7

With a renewed focus on school instead of Kyle, October and November passed quickly and I was glad the holidays were coming. On the last day of school before Thanksgiving there was quite a feeling of excitement going around the school, not only because it meant we had a four day weekend coming up, but because we’d be out of school two weeks for Christmas vacation. I couldn’t wait.

As I sat in the commons area chewing the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had brought from home, Aria glided over to where I was sitting after her kissing session with Jack; her boyfriend of nearly three months.

“We’re going to the dance tonight, right? Last one before Thanksgiving break,” she said.

I hated the thought of being dragged along to another dance. The last two weren’t very fun as I spent most of the time trying not to pay attention to Aria and Jack kissing in the corner. They both probably walked out of there with three or more hickies. I didn’t see the draw of sucking on someone’s neck, but I did, however, see the draw of kissing another person, which made it twice as hard to stomach.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll go,” I told her. “Do you want me to come to your house after school so we can get ready?” I took a sip of my Diet Coke.

“Of course,” she confirmed, sticking her hand out for a drink of my Coke, “and you’re staying after the dance, right?”

I said that I would stay as long as Jack wasn’t coming over. There was no way I could handle watching them constantly kiss at her house and the dance. Aria only gave a sly look and changed the subject, saying that she had a feeling someone would ask me to dance.

I immediately thought she meant Kyle, but was surprised when she blurted, “The guy’s name is Jensen Meyers. He’s a year ahead of us, but the same age we are. I think he skipped a grade or something. Definitely your type; a nerd,” she said, throwing a wadded-up piece of paper at me, which came from my straw.

I shrugged. It would be nice to have someone take my mind off of how single and alone I was. “Well, okay,” I conceded, “introduce me at the dance and I’ll dance with him if he asks. How do you know him?”

“I met him last summer when I was dating Cole. Cole had a few classes with him and they hung out.” Cole and Aria were short-lived, but heated. She told me that he was a sophomore who eventually realized that dating an eighth-grader was strange, so he broke up with her in July and moved away in August. Aria was glad that she didn’t have to see him at school, which would have been awkward.

A few hours later after Aria and I arrived at the school, Jensen did ask me to dance and he was everything I had hoped for. He was about six-one with somewhat short, medium-brown hair that seemed to wisp around itself in a sexy, unkempt way. Jensen was also soft-spoken in a seemingly shy sort of way.

As we moved slowly together to the music, I rested my head on his shoulder. His left hand pressed into the small of my back keeping me close, while his right hand rested on my upper back. I pulled away slightly to get a look at his face and he smiled down at me. Oh, I could easily get lost in those blue eyes of his.

“Are you having fun?” he asked. I only nodded and rested my head back on his shoulder. “It’s just that Aria mentioned she had dragged you to the last few dances and all you did was hang out in the movie room. She gave me strict orders to ask you to dance tonight.” His eyes seemed to sparkle as he gave me a crooked little smile.

“Yeah, that’s probably all true,” I confessed, thinking that he probably thought I was weird.

At that moment Kyle crept into my head for a second and I didn’t know why. The way he had acted toward me still stung, but at this time I was with a nice, good looking guy who could probably make me forget all about Kyle. I looked up at Jensen with a bolder attitude and remembered his first question. “And yes,” I said determined, “I am having fun.”

Jensen smiled back and put his cheek on the top of my head, pulling me a little closer as he did so. I snuggled in, glad that we were dancing to the extended version of Enigma’s Sadeness Part I. The moment was right and I felt like I didn’t ever want to leave Jensen’s arms, but before I knew it, Smells Like Teen Spirit started blaring through the speakers. I didn’t know how anyone could dance to grunge.

“I think we’re about to get swallowed up into a big mosh pit,” Jensen shouted as he pointed to where there were fewer people. “We might want to go over there.”

Jensen was right. As we walked out of the commons I could see dozens of people moshing and running around, and it wasn’t long before we found Aria, Jack, Krissa, and Krissa’s new boyfriend, Dean Anderson, lounging on chairs meant for people eating food from the student store. By the look on their faces, I could tell Aria and Krissa were dying for details, but I decided they would just have to wait because I wasn’t ready to share.

“Do you want to go outside for a bit?” Jensen took hold of my hand before I could answer. He had to shout because the music seemed to have gotten louder. “Let’s go outside. I’d like to talk and get to know you better.”

The cool air hit us as we opened the doors and stepped outside to where a few other couples had already retreated to. The stillness was immediate, even though you could hear a dull sound of unintelligible music coming from the building. Walking across the parking lot, we sat down close to one another on a concrete structure with a wooden built-in bench. Neither one of us said much at first so I smiled to break the ice.

“You should do that more often,” he said, reaching over and moving a piece of my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ear.

“What? Smile?” I asked. “How do you know that I don’t?”

“I’ve seen you around school,” Jensen explained. “Actually, Aria pointed you out to me earlier this week and told me I had to meet you. She also said something about you just coming out of a bad relationship.” I cringed at his words and wondered how much Aria had told him about Kyle. It wasn’t a relationship at all, but he had affected me.

“So,” I said, changing the subject. “Aria tells me you skipped Kindergarten and went right into first grade?”

“Yeah, I didn’t go to Kindergarten. But,” he added, “my birthday is in December, so it worked out just fine. If I had gone I would be graduating at nineteen instead of eighteen like the rest of my friends. The school system has weird rules for how old you can be before starting school.”

Leaning back against the wooden bench, I moved a little closer to Jensen, prompting him to put his hand on my arm. It felt electric, but I wasn’t quite sure what my next move would be. Fortunately, Jensen made it for me, touching my cold face with his warm fingertips. He was doing a good job of making Kyle only a distant memory.

Jensen slowly pulled his hand away and replaced it with his index finger. “Eyelash,” he said as he whisked it from my cheek and held it up for us both to see. I smiled, but felt a little let down that he wasn’t kissing me instead.

“Oh, am I supposed to wish on it or something?” I asked.

He nodded and held the lash to my lips. “Then you blow on it,” he said with a low voice. I blew gently and it fluttered away in the dark.

“Great,” I said, a little too loudly, “now someone will find it and do something funky with my DNA.” Jensen only laughed at my joke.

Suddenly changing the subject Jensen asked, “Are you going home with Aria or Krissa?”

“Oh, um, Aria’s mom is picking us up. I was thinking of staying at her house tonight,” I answered, wondering where he was going with his question.

“Well, if you’re not going to stay at her house, I’d like to drive you home … if that’s okay. It gives me more time to spend with you.”

“Yeah, I’d like that,” I told him.

For the next ten minutes, we shared small-talk about ourselves before Jensen said again that he would take me home and got up off the bench to go get his car. Before he left me, he suggested I tell my friends that I was with him so they wouldn’t worry.

Roxette’s It Must Have Been Love was winding down when I entered the building and crossed the dance floor. The lights then suddenly came on and I had to blink a few times to find my bearings, but it didn’t take me long to spot Aria over against the far wall waving me over. I half-walked, half-jogged to where she stood being absolutely certain that she could see the excitement on my face.

“You’re all flush; what’s going on? Did he kiss you?”

“Actually, he’s giving me a ride home so we can get to know each other better,” I said, ignoring her question completely. I could tell she wanted details, but I had none … yet. “I’ll let you know tomorrow how it goes.”

With that, I was off and running outside. I passed Krissa and Kylie on the way out and yelled a quick goodbye. Krissa raised her eyebrow at me in a knowing way, but I only put my thumb and pinky to the side of my head like a phone and mouthed the words ‘I’ll call you tomorrow.’

Jensen drove me slowly home in his parents’ black BMW, explaining along the way that he was only borrowing it until his Jeep was out of the shop after getting a lift-kit put on. I was sure I’d like his Jeep, but his parents’ car was a nice ride. We soon pulled up to my house and only talked for a little while longer before Jensen yawned and said that he needed to go. I felt like we were on the verge of something more, but he kept a careful distance and told me he’d call me the next day.

Thanksgiving arrived and both Jensen and I had plans with our families. That didn’t, however, keep us from spending a few hours on the phone getting to know one another. Jensen told me about his three siblings starting with Emery, his older brother who was in his first year of college at UNLV. He then told me about Alicia, who was in tenth grade, and Jessica, who was a senior. By his description of his sisters; Jessica with her long, blonde hair and Alicia with her medium-length, light brown hair; I remembered seeing each of them only once or twice at school.

Jensen went on to tell about his family’s downtown jewelry store, which was operated by his mother. His father filled in at the store occasionally, but for the most part he worked in investments. It suddenly occurred to me that his family wasn’t just well off, but very well off. Jensen didn’t elaborate; instead, he went on to talk about his hobbies, which were weight training, racquetball, and volleyball. I decided to flatter him by mentioning that I had noticed his sculpted physique at the dance, but he shyly skirted around the subject and politely asked about my mother, whom I had to do the obligatory and uncomfortable Thanksgiving dinner with. I told him about her real estate career and touched briefly on our estranged relationship. Jensen was very easy to talk to and I felt like an open book.

The following week at school, Jensen and I sat together each day at lunch and talked mostly about what was happening at school that day. It was nice to spend time with him, and I could feel there was something between us, even though he never made any move to touch me or kiss me. There were a couple of times that I thought he would, but he never did. Come Thursday before I was to get on my bus, he met me at my locker.

“Would you like a ride home?” he asked, leaning against the locker next to mine and half-smiling. My heart skipped a beat and I instantly agreed. At that point I would have followed him anywhere. We started walking and made it all the way outside when I realized I had forgotten a book I needed.

“Jensen, can you wait here a sec? I forgot one of my books in my locker.”

“Actually,” he said, “I can go get my Jeep and pick you up here.”

“I’d like that, thanks.”

“Yeah, I’d like that, too,” he said with his crooked smile. I turned to walk away and he grabbed my hand and pulled me back. “But I think I’d like this even more.”

He tipped my chin up with his right hand and softly kissed me. His left hand wound around my waist, pulling me close. I wound my arms around his neck, holding the back of his head with my hand. His lips were nice and warm, and his tongue was soft as it rolled with mine. The kiss lasted for several minutes and we both felt the need for air as we slowly pulled away. I stepped back and Jensen looked at me a little alarmed.

“Too much? Sorry, I should have asked.”

Now I became panicky. “Oh, no, it was … amazing. I was just caught off guard and lost my balance a little.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me close as he said, “Good, because I see more of that in our future.” Jensen pulled away to look at me. “That is, if you do too?” His blue eyes seemed to pierce my soul.

“Yes, I … I think I do,” I stammered, suddenly breaking into a large grin.

He pulled me close again, rubbing my arms as I had started to shiver. “It’s cold out here,” he said. “Why don’t you grab your book and I’ll get my Jeep?”

I nodded and raced to my locker, excitement overtaking me. Dialing my combination, I quickly grabbed my book and stuffed it into my book bag. After slamming my locker shut with my foot, I turned and ran down the stairs to the second floor and to the front of the school where I found Jensen waiting in a 1991 Jeep Wrangler hardtop, electrical blue in color. I whistled under my breath a little, slightly impressed with the three-inch lift and large swamp tires. When he saw me coming, Jensen got out of his Jeep and walked to the passenger side to open my door.

“Thanks,” I said awkwardly as he helped me in. I wasn’t used to guys with such manners. As he walked back around to his side, I noticed he had To Be With You playing low in the background. I commented that he must be a fan of Mr. Big, and Jensen only smiled, but offered to change it to something else if I didn’t like them since he had a six-disc changer in the Jeep.

“Wow, nice.” I looked around and saw that he had the whole package with eight-inch Rockford Fosgate speakers installed in the back. “Hopefully you acquired this vehicle by acceptable means.” I gave a sly smile to show I was joking, and he looked at me briefly and smiled his crooked smile before we took off in the Jeep with Mr. Big coming out of the speakers.

“Well, that’s something Aria didn’t tell you about me,” he said, speeding up and shifting into third as we pulled onto the freeway. “So, do you need to go home right away or is it okay if we take a little detour? I’m kind of hungry.”

Without waiting for me to answer, Jensen shifted again, sped up and passed a couple of cars that were going way too slow. Passing by the road that normally took me home, we traveled a couple more miles and got off the freeway before turning toward Front Street where McDonald’s was located. Once inside, we ordered cheeseburgers, fries, one Diet Coke for me, and one Dr. Pepper for Jensen.

“So tell me a little more about yourself,” he said, taking a handful of fries and eating one at a time.

“What do you want to know?” I asked as I unwrapped my cheeseburger and took off the pickles from the rest of the burger, putting them aside.

“Well, first off, do you not like pickles?” he said, eyeing my action.

“Oh, that. You’ll laugh … or be grossed out if I told you. Actually, you might want to take yours out, too.”

“Why?” he asked.

“You really want to know?”

“Of course, especially since I’m doing it and I don’t know why.” Jensen piled his pickles up on the corner of his wrapper just like I had.

“Alright, you asked for it,” I told him, leaning over the table and our food so that I could whisper to him. It was a bit funny to think I was being secretive since we were literally the only customers there.

Jensen listened intently as I told that I’d heard of workers there having pickle fights with one another and then putting the pickles back into the jar they had come from in the first place. When I was finished, Jensen only looked at me with his deep blue eyes like he was working something out. At that point I wished I was a mind reader.

“Mia,” he began with a serious tone, “do you think that your burger is safe by simply removing the pickles? They’ve already touched the other items.”

“Oh, I guess so,” I shrugged, flipping my hair back behind my shoulder. “Now I feel stupid.”

“Don’t,” he said, taking my hand, “I’m just playing with you.”

We sat there and ate the rest of our burgers and fries, talking about and laughing at a number of things. We must have been there about twenty minutes, when out of the corner of my eye the door to the restaurant swung open letting the normal after-school crowd in. Instinctively, I turned to look and almost choked on the fry I was eating. There was Kyle strolling through the open door. Oh, why him?

“Are you alright?” Jensen asked as I coughed, sputtered, and grabbed for my Diet Coke.

It took a moment before I gained my composure once again and looked up to see Kyle place his order. I hoped he wasn’t planning on staying, but my hopes weren’t enough because Jon walked in to join him. They seemed inseparable, like one couldn’t eat without the other. I huffed at the thought, forgetting for a second that Jensen was sitting across from me. He sat back and looked at me.

“Really. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I was just thinking that the burger may have been better with the pickles on it.”

Jensen laughed and relaxed back in his seat. I, too, relaxed a little and tried not to think about Kyle who was still up at the counter with Jon. Hopefully they wouldn’t sit nearby.

A few minutes later, more people trickled in. One of those people was a blonde with two of her friends whom Kyle seemed to have a thing for a couple months back. I watched as the blonde separated from them and disappeared into the restroom after walking past us. Kyle also noticed her because I saw him nudge Jon and then point to her before he started walking in the direction of the restrooms. I realized with panic that he would pass by where Jensen and I were sitting.

I instantly sank into my seat and focused only on Jensen, hoping Kyle wouldn’t see me. But, I knew that he had when his stride slowed and he glanced briefly at me and then stared longer at Jensen.

“Mia,” Kyle finally said, giving his usual chin greeting and tapping the table with his fist before uttering something about seeing me later. I gave him my best fake smile in return, and was surprised when I saw what looked like jealousy in his eyes. Jensen’s face went dark and his jaw tightened the whole time Kyle was standing near our table, which was but a few seconds.

The bathroom door banged open and the blonde girl walked toward us, bringing Kyle’s attention back to what he was originally there for. The girl’s gaze lingered at our table for a split second before she quickened her pace and swept past our table. Kyle turned and followed close behind her. I briefly watched him leave and then turned my attention back to my food. Instead of the dark look and tense jaw, Jensen’s arms were folded and one eyebrow was raised as he looked at me.

“Maybe we should go,” he said, getting up before ending his sentence. I only nodded in agreement and grabbed our tray of food. After emptying it, I let him lead me past where Kyle was now conversing with the blonde. Kyle gave me a knowing look as I walked by him with Jensen’s arms draped around my waist. I smiled smugly and was glad Jensen had nonchalantly shown him he didn’t have a chance.

When we were back in Jensen’s Jeep and he had started it, he hesitated in driving away. He had the Jeep in first, but then took it out and put it in neutral. He sat back and looked at me.

“Mia,” he began quietly, “I can’t read minds, but I can tell something was going on back there. I don’t have to know about it, I just need to know if it’s over before we continue.”

Interlacing my fingers together, I sat up a little taller in my seat and told Jensen that there wasn’t anything between me and Kyle.

“He’s had his eye on that blonde chick for a while now,” I continued.

“On Alyna DellaTorre?” Jensen scoffed and laughed darkly. I was thoroughly confused at his reaction.

“Did I miss something?” Jensen answered me by saying something about Alyna DellaTorre, the blonde, not making the same mistake twice and how he wished he was there to witness their conversation. I took it to mean that he and Alyna had already given it a go and things didn’t work out, but I didn’t dwell on the thought.

He was quiet as he drove me back home. When we got closer, he asked me to tell him where I lived again, saying he had forgotten since last week.

“Are you for real? This town is tiny!” I laughed, pointing my finger at him accusingly. Jensen just shrugged and smiled. I wasn’t sure if he was kidding, so I went ahead and gave him directions. However, he chose to ignore them and when I pointed that out, he only laughed and gave that crooked smile of his when he drove right past my place.

“You’ll see where I’m going.”

I sat back and enjoyed the ride. Jensen obviously wasn’t going to say where we were going, but I was a little surprised when he drove his Jeep to the top of a hill that bordered a nearby field. The Jeep rounded corner after corner before reaching the top, and after leveling out we saw that the view was fantastic and the lights of the city below were mesmerizing. Pulling off the road and onto a little dirt lot among trees, Jensen cut the engine.

“Wow, this is really amazing,” I finally said after sitting there quietly for a few minutes. I unlatched my seatbelt.

“Yeah, come here,” he said, turning to me and reaching over to grab me by the waist and pull me over to his seat. He had me sitting across his lap in no time.

Before I knew it, he was tracing my jawline from my chin to my earlobe with his finger, moving my hair out of my face where it frequently found its way. From there he touched my lips with his thumb, tracing them softly. I moved to where I was facing him and touched his face lightly. This time it was my turn to move in and initiate a kiss.

Both of Jensen’s hands held my face as he pressed his lips tighter to mine. There was more urgency this time, and I suddenly felt hot prickles running up and down my body as his tongue sought out mine. Our breathing became heavy and I could feel the thud of his heart as I pressed my hand on his chest.

“We have to stop,” Jensen breathed as he pulled away. “I’m sorry.” His blue eyes burrowed into mine and his hand stroked my cheek.

Hurt and a little shocked, I wondered if he was playing one of Kyle’s games. “I … I don’t understand,” I breathed.

Jensen kissed me softly and the urgency he had was seemingly gone. “I feel like I’m pushing you too fast and it’s not right.” He once again moved my hair out of my face.

“But I liked it,” I said quietly.

“Me, too, Mia. Don’t get me wrong.”

He held my face with his hand, using it to gently ask me to look at him. I wanted to turn away as I felt a little ashamed that I was willing to go further than he apparently was.

“It’s just, I don’t know,” he went on, “I can’t explain it. I haven’t ever felt this way about someone, especially someone I just met. It’s confusing.” I knew he was right because I felt the same way.

“Can I ask you something that’s totally borderline inappropriate?” I asked, shifting my weight a little.

“It depends,” he answered, looking a little uncomfortable. “You can ask, but I may not answer, depending on how inappropriate it is.” He smiled slightly.

“Have you been serious with other people to the point of … you know?” He sighed as if he knew the question would come up eventually, but not this soon.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. “It’s more of a reason for me to go slow, especially with you.”

“I’m not breakable,” I said defensively. I was a bit embarrassed that he would see me in such a way.

“Maybe not, but I believe you have a soft heart and I don’t ever want to do whatever that guy back there did to it.” I cringed at his words and pulled away.

“You saw that, huh?” I looked through the windshield. Jensen touched my chin and turned my head toward him.

“I should probably get you home,” he said, “but one more thing before we go.”

Jensen leaned over and kissed me softly. It made me forget my brief embarrassment. The kiss was over almost as soon as it began and Jensen helped me back over to my seat. He even went as far as to buckle me up.

“Got to get you home safe,” he said as he winked at me. I rolled my eyes at his over-the-top behavior.

After pulling up to the curb by my house, we kissed goodbye quickly. Jensen watched me rush up the stairs, unlock the front door and turn to wave before disappearing inside. I shut the door and leaned against it, instantly replaying the whole interaction over and over in my mind. We had just met, but I knew I was falling in love with him.

The next day, I awoke to darkness and noise. I could hear my mom bustling around in the kitchen, clanging dishes with an occasional plunk of her coffee mug on the counter. I waited for her to leave and then swung my legs over the edge of the bed. Soon I heard her start the car and back out of the driveway. I peeked out the window to catch the tail end of her 1990 green Subaru hatchback as it drove away.

My mom and I had been having an estranged relationship since she and my dad had divorced. I hadn’t seen my dad in four years because he lived in California, and my mom thought the entire state of California would be a bad influence on me if I went there to visit him.

I bit my lip, glancing at the clock. It was still early, six-thirty. I let myself fall back on my pillow and stared up at the ceiling as a rush of memories from the previous night flooded over me. I thought about Jensen’s soft fingers touching my face and his soft lips pressing firmly against mine. I hoped we would do it all again soon.

The phone rang unexpectedly and I sat up, blinking with confusion. I picked up the cordless phone I had left in my room the prior night and punched the talk button with my index finger. It was Jensen. He wanted to know if I had slept well and if I wanted to go hiking with him if I had no other plans for the day besides school. I told him that I didn’t—other than giving Aria and Krissa a full report of yesterday’s events—and that I would love to go hiking with him. Jensen asked me to be ready to go by eight o’clock and I agreed. This guy whom I had gotten to know and spend time with didn’t come across to me as the hiker-type, a term usually reserved for those who liked grunge and didn’t shave their arms or legs. This type of person was aptly called a “greenie.”

I hung up and laid in bed for another half-hour replaying the previous day’s events and thinking about the idea of Jensen and me being an item. Happy and full of excitement, I jumped out of bed and went to my closet to pick out a pair of jeans, a purple long-john type of shirt I adored, and a green, No Fear pullover. From there I grabbed clean socks and underwear from my dresser and ran off down the hall to the bathroom.

After spending a bit too much time in the shower, I rushed downstairs with my wet hair dripping and banged around inside the cupboards until I found two packets of maple and brown sugar oatmeal that I would fix and wolf down before racing upstairs to finish getting ready. Once I was finished eating and had brushed my teeth, I put some light make-up on and pulled my hair back into a ponytail. Suddenly thinking it might rain and that a hat might be wise, I went back into my room to find my purple and green plaid No Fear cap. I pulled my brown ponytail through the back and viewed my image in the mirror on the wall. Just the right touch, I thought.

Hearing a car pull up and a short beep sound, I looked out the window to see Jensen leaning against the passenger side of his Jeep with the door open. Seeing me, he motioned to the Jeep’s open door as if he was a chauffeur. I smiled and he laughed, crossing his arms as he waited for me to come outside, lock the front door, and hurry down the front porch stairs.

“Hi there,” was about all I could get out as my heart was racing and my breath was quick.

“Hi,” he said in return, putting his hand on the side of my face and kissing me lightly before helping me into the Jeep.

I could feel the tingling in my stomach as he climbed in beside me, backed the Jeep out of the driveway, and took off in first gear. I reached over to the radio and pushed the round dial to turn it on. Pearl Jam instantly started streaming out of his Fosgates, so I turned it down a tad so we could still carry on a conversation.

“Pearl Jam is cool,” I said, “for grunge.”

Jensen agreed with me and then took my left hand and placed it on top of the gearshift. I wondered what he was doing until he covered my hand with his own, gently but firmly. My heart began to race, and it raced even faster when he asked if I had ever driven a car with a stick-shift. I confessed that I had not done much driving at all, let alone a car with a manual transmission. Jensen chuckled.

“It’s easy,” he said. “When I say when, we’ll shift together.” He then pushed the clutch in and we were ready to take off. Before long we were in fourth gear. There was something definitely erotic about driving a vehicle together.

We continued like that until we reached the trailhead. As we pulled in, I took my hand away as he downshifted and we bounced into an empty, potholed, dirt parking lot. We were the only ones there most likely because it was almost December and snow was midway down the mountain. Actually, it should have been to the bottom already, but the weather had been unseasonably mild thus far.

As I unbuckled myself, Jensen hopped out and rushed around to open my door and help me out. As much as he had done, I still wasn’t used to being treated so well. Before he would let me shut the door, he grabbed me around the waist and held me close. It caught me by surprise and I took in a sharp breath.

“Oops, I’m sorry,” he said, loosening his grip. “I didn’t mean to squeeze you so hard.” Jensen loosened his grip and I in turn encircled my arms around his neck, put my fingers into his hair, and pulled myself closer.

“You didn’t squeeze me hard, you just caught me by surprise,” I whispered as I stood up straight and pulled him closer so that our lips met. His tongue felt frantic as it searched for mine. I parted my lips and felt the immediate spark at our connection. He pulled me closer at the small of my back and I grabbed his hair and pushed my lips more forcefully onto his. My heart raced and I could faintly hear our breathing pick up.

As suddenly as everything had started, it stopped. Jensen pulled himself away, but didn’t take his hands off of me. I looked up at him, confused. His eyes searched mine and he softened his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t mean to get carried away.”

“You didn’t, it was my fault,” I assured him.

He leaned down and kissed my neck, working his way up to my ear.

“You’re just too irresistible,” he murmured, his lips at my ear.

“I’ll have to work on that,” I said, leaning my head back so he could continue to kiss around my neck. I was in heaven and didn’t want to leave.

Jensen stopped and took his hands from around my waist before pulling me away from the door, shutting and locking it. “The sun’s rising finally,” he noted. “Are you ready?” I nodded and followed him, reminded of why we had come there in the first place.

The trail that we took began on the right side of the parking lot and started out as a slow, peaceful incline under the shade of evergreens. Every now and then we would catch a ray of sun peeking through the branches. The quietness of the woods also forced us into a silence that was broken by an occasional intake of breath from either Jensen or me.

As we walked the dirt trail my mind reluctantly thought of Kyle. What is wrong with me? Why do I let that guy into my head? Am I not here with the greatest guy ever?

Jensen picked up a few stones and tossed them into the brush. I watched him while my thoughts went to the McDonald’s run-in with Kyle, and Jensen’s comment about Alyna not making the same mistake twice with him. I was stepping into dangerous territory by asking Jensen about it, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to know.

“Yesterday,” I began, “you mentioned Alyna wasn’t Kyle’s type.”

“Mmm, hmmm,” Jensen murmured, waiting for my point.

I asked if he knew her well, and Jensen seemed surprised at the change of direction in our conversation. He paused in stride and dug his shoe into the dirt floor, admitting that he knew Alyna, but offered nothing more. I then became bold once again by asking if the two used to go out with one another. His face seemed to twist a little before he gave me his crooked smile.

“Yeah, last year,” he said, digging his shoe into the dirt a little deeper. “All of last year, actually.”

“Oh.” It was all I could say and it felt like torture, but for some reason I had to know, so I continued down the road I knew I shouldn’t. “Was she someone you were serious with, serious to the point of …?” I trailed off.

Already knowing what his answer would be, I couldn’t help but wonder if his confirmation would make me feel any differently about him. It probably would give him and Kyle something in common, something I wished against.

“Yes,” he answered quietly. At that moment it felt like an arrow hitting my heart. He tightened his hand around mine, but I looked away.

“Mia,” he said softly, pulling me closer to his side.

“I’m okay.”

I struggled to compose myself as we continued to walk the trail. Jensen kept a hold on my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine, saying that being too honest was a character flaw of his. He also told me that being with Alyna in the past didn’t change the way he felt about me now.

“Do you feel differently knowing I was with her?” he asked as he stopped and stood in front of me.

Looking up to his face, I only shrugged and turned away, fearing that he would see my tears beginning to build. Little did he know that I wasn’t upset over what he had with Alyna, but what Kyle did. It was stupid, I knew, but the reality of Kyle choosing her over me really stung. When I voiced my feelings out loud, Jensen looked at me with a raised eyebrow as if to ask if I had lied about there being nothing between Kyle and me.

“It bothers me that you two have her in common. I thought you were the polar opposite of him, which made you even more desirable to me,” I stated as a matter-of-fact.

“So,” he drawled out, “do you feel differently about me?” His blue eyes showed a bit of fear over what I would say.

“Jensen,” I began quietly, “to answer your question … I’m in love with you.” His face seemed to soften. “And no, it doesn’t change anything.”

Jensen let out a sigh of relief and chuckled lightly. “It’s funny; I thought I would scare you away if I told you I loved you, but here you are telling me the very thing I thought would push you away.” He pulled me into a hug.

“Shut up and kiss me,” I said, trying to break the seriousness of only a moment ago. Jensen kissed me softly with the sound of singing birds in the forest making the occasion more serene.

We stood there taking it all in when abruptly he grabbed my hand and urged me to follow him. We walked a good distance before veering off into the brush and starting down a path that really wasn’t there.

“Great, I didn’t think we’d be bush-banging,” I said, tripping over the thick underbrush.

Jensen grabbed me around my waist before I could hit the ground and promised that it wouldn’t be much farther. Within minutes I could hear a slight roar of water, and soon we entered a clearing and stood gazing at the most beautiful waterfall. The water cascaded down to the rocks below, and its mist rose up and lightly coated my skin with its coolness.

Jensen grabbed my hand and pulled me over to a fallen tree where he lifted me up and sat me on top of it. The tree was damp, but I didn’t care. He turned his back toward me and my legs dangled on either side of his waist. I let my arms drape down off his shoulders and around his chest.

“This is really beautiful,” I whispered into his ear before I began kissing the back of his neck. The smell of him was so delicious, like a mixture of salty sweat and the sweet aroma of fresh rain and the outdoors.

“Mmm, that feels nice,” he breathed as he turned around to face me, burying his face in my hair and kissing the curve of my neck. Jensen then searched for my lips and found them. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer, running my fingers through his hair as he pressed his lips firmly against mine. Suddenly the urgency was back and I welcomed it. Pleasant butterflies swirled in my stomach as my tongue frantically danced with his. I sharply inhaled through my nose, slightly whimpering at what I was feeling.

Jensen moaned slightly and then pulled away. “You’re much too irresistible. You make it hard to stop.”

“So don’t,” I challenged, not caring if he ever stopped.

“You don’t mean that; it’s too soon.”

“Yes, for me, but is it for you?” Alyna instantly came to mind.

Jensen stopped and looked at me, surprised that I would say such a thing. “Yes, of course it is. I told you I wanted to take it slow with you.”

“Ok.” I hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings, but I felt like I needed confirmation that he would be careful with me. It also felt good to be wanted.

His eyes softened even more, and his mouth formed into that crooked smile that was becoming famous with only me. “I want you,” Jensen sighed. “You don’t know how hard it is to hold back with you. I feel like we’ve been together for months.”

I took a deep breath because he had just voiced what I had been feeling. It felt good to know he felt the same way about me as I did him, and for some reason Alyna failed to matter anymore.

After a few moments of silence and some more soft kisses on my neck, I thought it best if we started back. About that time my stomach had begun making noise, so Jensen suggested going to get some Tex-Mex from a small cafe on the way back into town where I later experienced the best chicken nachos I’d ever eaten. It was also at that little hole-in-the-wall that I began my quest to know more about him.

“The other day,” I started to ask as we sat at a little table in the corner, “what did you mean when you said that was something Aria didn’t tell me about you?” The way he had said it had bothered me. Jensen looked deep in thought, trying to remember what he may have said.

“I said I hope you acquired your Jeep with acceptable means,” I prompted.

“Oh, yeah. Okay, I’m with you now.” He took a chip and chewed for a second. It was annoying waiting for him to finish, but I had practiced patience enough with Kyle. “My family has money,” he said nonchalantly, “and I bought the Jeep last summer.” Suddenly I felt a bit inferior at the confirmation of what I had already suspected. “What about you? It’s just you and your mom, right?”

“How much did Aria tell you?” Jensen’s abrupt change of subject caught me off guard. I had nothing to hide, but I didn’t want to repeat myself or go into too much detail.

“Not much, just that you live with your mom and your parents divorced awhile back.”

I took a bite of chicken nachos and let him wait for my response as I chewed slowly. Finally, I said, “My dad lives in California and I haven’t seen him in four years.”

“Really? Why?” Jensen seemed phased by this information. I shrugged.

“My mom thinks California would be a bad influence on me if I went to visit him, but I really I think it’s her way of keeping us apart. I used to be very close to my dad.” I took another bite and chewed thoughtfully, carefully choosing what I would divulge next. “My mom and I have had a weird relationship ever since they got divorced. I’m not sure what happened, but I’m sure there’s more to know. In any event, I have been seriously thinking about requesting emancipation when I turn sixteen next fall. I’ve even started to look for apartments to get an idea of how much one will cost. Of course, I’ll have to get a job and was hoping to this spring.”

Jensen looked to be taking all this information in, but to my surprise he didn’t say anything. I decided not to share anymore, so I changed the subject by asking what his plans were for college. I hoped that he wasn’t going somewhere far away, but my hopes were crushed when he said that he was thinking of applying to Stanford, U.C. Davis, or San Diego State. Ideas ran through my head and I surprised myself when out loud I said that I could apply to schools in California to be closer to my dad.

“I’m sure it would drive my mom nuts,” I added, “knowing I defied her and moved to the one place she wished I would rather not be associated with.” I laughed harshly, narrowing my eyes and thinking about what I just said.

Jensen put his hand on mine. “What do you have planned for next weekend? I’d like to introduce you to my family.”

My head snapped up in surprise. “Really? Wow, so soon?”

“Are you worried they won’t like you?”

“Oh, no, I think parents might be my thing. I’ve always gotten along with them whenever I’ve met other people’s families. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“Why?” Jensen’s tone seemed to change when he spoke. “I’m serious about you. I kind of feel like you don’t hear me when I tell you that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you that impression,” I told him. “I know that we feel the same way about one another.” I smiled and squeezed his hand. “Yes, I would be excited to meet your family.”

“Good, we can do dinner at my house next Saturday evening. Everyone should be home then and you can meet them.”

We finished our nachos and Jensen drove me home. As he pulled into the driveway and cut the Jeep’s engine, I noticed Mom wasn’t home yet, which wasn’t surprising. She was a real estate agent and often spent her free time showing houses or marketing them. She did okay, we lived comfortably enough, but high commissions were not consistent. In fact, she drove a Subaru and not a Cadillac like many of the highly successful realtors.

Jensen sat back and looked at me. “Did you have a good time today?”

“Of course, I was with you,” I said, leaning toward him and intertwining my fingers with his. “Do you want to come in?”

“I can’t. I should get home to delete any evidence that I skipped school today. Rain check?” he asked, looking a little guilty.

“Deal.”

The next day was Saturday and Jensen came over for some one-on-one time. My mom had an open house going on for the day and I knew we’d be alone for a while. As soon as he walked through the door, I grabbed him by the hand and proceeded to give him a tour of the house, ending with my bedroom. He walked in and immediately went over to the bed and sat down.

“Nice,” he simply said while bouncing on the mattress.

I walked over to the collection of CDs displayed on the far wall of my bedroom and asked Jensen if he wanted to listen to anything. I hadn’t listened to much music in the last week, but I was sure that a PM Dawn single was still in the player.

Without a word, Jensen came up behind me and encircled my waist with one arm while pushing the play button with his other hand. I’d Die Without You began to stream through the speakers as he turned me around and held me close. I rested my cheek on his chest and he placed his chin atop my head. Before long we were swaying to the music, dancing silently through all five versions of the song.

When the next CD in the player kicked over, Enigma began to play. I hummed along with the music as I took Jensen’s arms from around my waist and walked backward towards the bed. He followed close until we could go no farther and gently pushed me back to where I laid with my head upon the pillow. Jensen then made his way beside me, putting his hand to my waist and pulling me close to him. His lips pressed to mine as he gently swept his tongue along them.

I let out a sigh as his left hand ran down my side to my hip, then slowly down my leg to where it rested behind my thigh. He then pulled my leg up so that it encircled his waist, and he pressed his lips to mine and gently swept his tongue along them.

My breathing quickened, as did my heartbeat. I felt his lips become fervent as we continued to kiss. I felt like I couldn’t get enough and he tasted so good, like peppermint. I pressed into him and he gave a slight moan. He then rolled me on top of him, holding my waist and running his left hand up my back. Shivers rolled down my spine, my breathing was heavy. I stopped and looked at him as Enigma played on.

“Are you okay?” Jensen whispered as he tried to control his heavy breathing.

“Yes,” I breathed, quickly nodding my head. My chest was heaving like Jensen’s, making it a bit difficult to speak. He leaned up and took my face with his right hand and began kissing me again with the same need as before. He rolled over so that he was now looking down at me and searching for reluctance in my eyes. Finding none, he began kissing me again as I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. I grasped him tightly and pulled him as close to me as I could. He pressed his lips more forcefully to mine, his tongue probing and igniting our fire even more.

Overwhelmed and light-headed, his movements scared me a little. I also felt his growing erection as he shifted on top of me and that freaked me out. We have to stop before …

Jensen immediately stopped kissing me when I pushed him away. He fell to his side and calmly looked at me. “Too fast?”

“Yes,” I said, taking a deep breath. As much as I wanted to continue kissing him, I was scared. I was afraid of where it might lead and I wasn’t ready for that. My eyes flickered quickly to his groin area. It was hard to tell if he was still excited. Before he noticed, I quickly looked back to my comforter, where I picked at it in an effort to make him think that’s what I’d been looking at all along.

“I’m sorry.” Jensen held my chin and gently kissed my lips once more. “I’ll try to control myself.” He did his best to crack his famous smile.

“Jensen, can we just lay here for a while?”

“Of course,” he said, stroking my hair with his fingers.

I listened to his beating heart as I thought about our previous two days together, and I became so swept up in the memory that I hadn’t noticed that we had fallen asleep.