Читать книгу Mustard Seeds - Melissa Levi - Страница 18

Damsel in Distress…..NOT!

Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.

1 Peter 5:7

When I first got divorced, I spent a lot of time daydreaming of the man that would come to save me, my knight in proverbial shining armor. He would ride in, take over and life would be “Happily Ever After”. A couple of unsuccessful relationships later, I realized that there were plenty of jokers out there but knights weren’t so easy to find. That did not douse my hopes. I was sure someone would show up to save me.

I wasted valuable time waiting. I just didn’t want to deal with life’s problems myself to be honest. It was hard. I believed I couldn’t do it. I shrank in fear of making decisions. At least before in my marriage there had been another to blame. Good or bad, I would have to deal with the fallout. It was all on me, and frankly, I was paralyzed at times, afraid of making the wrong choices. After all, my track record had been pretty lousy.

Turning a blind eye became my M.O.

I had just moved into my own apartment with my daughters. Since the split I had shared a residence with best friend and her daughter. With my new roommates I never felt alone and we shared the responsibilities of the bills and house. It was a scary change. I had never been solely on my own. Now it was just me. Singular responsibility rested on my shoulders.

It was Father’s Day. Hot, sticky and miserable was the forecast. I was getting ready to go to my parent’s to celebrate my mom’s birthday and Father’s Day. It was special because after years of estrangement we were rebuilding relationships and I was excited to be back in the fold.

The girls had whined, not wanting ponytails and frills, but I was not relenting. I was determined that nothing would ruin this day. Finally the three of us appeared presentable and ready to go. Down the steps I bounced my excitement mounting and then evaporating as I looked at the Maxima leaning to the right. She had a flat tire. I told the girls to run back upstairs and watch TV. It was the first time they compiled without complaining.

What was I going to do now? I did the only thing I thought I could. I sat on the bottom step and cried. Fat, hot tears streaked my face, leaving rivulets in the makeup.

The parking lot was empty, there was not a soul was on the basketball court, and no one was on their deck. Not even a bird tweeting! I was alone.

I called to give my parents the news that I would be at best late and that I would do all I could to get there. My father, ever the sweetest Daddy offered to drive 30 minutes to fix it and then back. I could not allow that. No, I would figure out something. But what?

I manned my station at the bottom of the steps and stared at the tire. As I stared at the brake- dust coated, bald as Montel tire a crazy idea formed in my head, what if I changed the tire? I was smarter than some, relatively strong, definitely clever.

I would try.

I ran upstairs and changed, and then with determination, I went back to the car. I popped the trunk and unloaded the necessary equipment.

I would like to tell you it was a smooth operation, but it wasn’t. There was a lot of praying, skinned bleeding knuckles, smudged mascara, several broken nails and at least one tantrum, but I got it done.

Sometimes, God doesn’t ride in. Sometimes He doesn’t send a knight. Sometimes it’s up to the Damsel. God gave us grace. Grace to endure what comes our way. God gave us intellect, strength and Jesus.

Sometimes God doesn’t act because it is you that needs to step out so He can act through you.

In Exodus 2, we see Jochebed stepping out. She knew that Moses was important not just to her, but to God’s plan and that she needed to take action. She used the intellect that the Lord had given her to devise a way to save Moses. She did not sit back and cry, she stood up and acted. Because she was willing to act the Lord used her and worked through her to bring Moses to the Pharaoh’s house. Jochebed was willing and had faith in God, so her plan was successful. I am sure that Jochebed prayed. As a mom, I am sure that Jochebed fell on her face before God and begged God to save her son. Then her mind filled with an idea and on faith she set about making that idea a reality. God was with Jochebed and Moses but she had to be willing to act. As Moses floated out of her hands she had to give it all to God.

Jesus was with me that Sunday afternoon. He was on the steps next to me when I cried. He was crouched on the pavement next to me as I took all I had and lifted the donut to the wheel.

He was there all the way, cheering me on. I tackled a job that just a couple of hours before had seemed overwhelming and impossible. Circumstances that I felt I was too weak to face. God didn’t send in someone to fix it because that flat tire wasn’t about the nail in the tread but the nail in Jesus’ hand. It was about the opening of my eyes to my strength, and intellect, but mostly my relationship with Him through Christ Jesus. I don’t need a man to rescue me; I have already been saved by Jesus. I needed to quit looking for the knight and accept the Son, because only Jesus can fulfill all my needs. He strengthens me in difficult times and he instructs me, I just have to listen.

Would Moses have made it to the Pharaoh’s daughter if Jochebed had done nothing? Yes. But because she took initiative God allowed her to have her son a few years more as his wet nurse, safe in her arms before he was sent to live in the shadow of the Pharaoh, to learn the Egyptian ways and someday be the instrument of God.

Would my tire have been fixed? Definitely, but I would have continued to live under the guise that I was at the mercy of my situation.

I made it to mom and dad’s not too late and it was an awesome day! I learned an important lesson on that Sunday and it had nothing to do with a lug wrench. I learned something about me. I believed the lie that I was a weak victim of my circumstances. That I needed someone to take care of me and that God wasn’t enough. I cowered from life and my blessings. I cheated myself of the gift of an intimate relationship with Jesus. So often, we allow ourselves to believe the enemy’s lies, and we miss out on beautiful blessings.

I was a strong woman saved by grace capable of wonderful things with Jesus. I had been equipped with everything I needed to face and be victorious over whatever came my way through the relationship with Jesus.

That day I realized that I didn’t need a knight to save me. Covered in brake dust, sweaty and smiling I looked at the tire. I had done it. Though it was a small thing, it was the beginning of a wonderful journey that I no longer traveled alone. What else could I do, I wondered. I looked forward to finding out.

I still get scared dealing with life. But I remember that day. I think of the heat, the sweat in my eyes the filth of the job the weight of the tire, Jesus next to me and I smile. Since that incident, I have had the confidence to face many more trials because I know that I am not alone and that by fully trusting in God I can do anything through Him.

We need to be a people of action. Put faith in God and ask for His guidance. Step out boldly and know that with Him you cannot fail.

You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. 1 John 4:4