Читать книгу The Winner Takes It All: Winning Back His Wife / In Her Rival's Arms / Royally Seduced - Melissa McClone - Страница 13

SOMEONE COUGHED. CULLEN bolted upright from a dead sleep. He blinked, not quite sure what was going on. Rays of sunlight peeked into the room around the edges of the window blinds. The digital clock on his nightstand read 6:45 a.m. Another cough.

Sarah.

Pulse pounding, he jumped out of bed, ran to her room and flung open the door. She lay in bed. Her hair was a tangled mess. Her face, what he could see through her hair, was pale. “Sarah?”

“I coughed.” Her voice sounded hoarse. “It hurt.”

“I’m sure it did.” He sat next to her. “Let me check your incision.”

Her eyes widened with a hint of panic. “It was the cough.”

He brushed the hair away from her face. His fingers touched her cheek. She didn’t feel warm. “I want to make sure.”

She pulled the blanket to her neck. “You don’t have to go to all this trouble.”

“It’s no trouble.” He understood Sarah’s leeriness. In spite of being a little out of it last night, she must have realized he’d been turned on. Even after a cold shower, he’d wanted to sleep in here, to hold her, to breathe in her scent. Loneliness did strange things to a man. “If you were in a SNF, someone would check you.”

“Yes, but not…”

“Me.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

Her fingers rubbed the edge of the blanket. She wouldn’t meet his eyes. “It’s the situation. I’m not sure how to feel around you. Parts of last night were nice, then awkward, then nice again. So nice I hated sleeping alone.”

A combination of relief and satisfaction radiated through him. He’d thought the same thing. He touched her shoulder.

Her muscles tensed beneath his hand.

“I get it,” he admitted. “Having you here is…”

“Weird.”

“Different,” he said at the same time. “A little weird, too.”

She blew out a puff of air. “Good. I mean, not that things are weird, but that I’m not alone or imagining things.”

“You’re not alone.” He’d been imagining things about her all night. Unfortunately. Because those fantasies would never become reality. “We’re adults. We can handle this.”

“It’s not like we have another choice.”

If only…“It is what it is until you’re ready to go back to Bellingham.”

“If things get too weird we can talk it out.”

She had wanted to talk about everything. He hated doing that. He’d been talked out after his parents had the family attend counseling and grief sessions following Blaine’s death. The intense sessions helped, but they also frustrated Cullen because no amount of counseling or rehab had been able to help his brother kick his drug addiction.

Sarah looked expectantly at him.

“Sure, we can talk.” He relented. “May I check your incision?”

She lowered the blanket. “It’s not like you haven’t seen this before.”

He slowly raised the hem of her nightshirt over her thighs. The bruises were fading. He lifted the material higher, past her orange polka-dotted bikini panties that showed off the curve of her hip. He willed his hand not to tremble. He continued to the large incision on her abdomen from her emergency splenectomy.

Cullen might have seen her body before, but he liked seeing all that creamy skin again. His gaze strayed back to her panties. He swallowed.

Focus.

The skin around the sutures wasn’t any more red then it had been at the hospital. No drainage, either. He placed his fingertips on her stomach. The skin wasn’t hot, but boy did she feel nice. Soft, smooth, silky.

He dragged his hand away. “No drainage or rash. Are you hungry?”

She nodded.

“That’s a good sign.” He pulled down the hem of her nightshirt before he became more unprofessional. “Has the pain lessened since the surgery?”

“Yes, until I coughed.”

“Next time you have to cough place a pillow over your incision.” He stood. “Let’s get you up and moving. That should ease some of the pain.”

She scrunched her nose. “It’s too early for you to be up if you have to work tonight.”

Her concern brought a smile to his face. “I’ll take a nap later.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive.” He cupped her elbow and helped her out of bed. “Is it hard to breathe?”

“Nope.”

“Let’s see how you feel walking.”

She moved slowly and carefully, the way she should to make sure she didn’t fall. “It helps.”

He noticed her long legs, liked the curve of her calf, the slender slope of her ankles. “You’re doing great.”

She walked out of the bedroom. “I must look pretty frightening.”

“Not frightening.” He followed her down the hall. “You look pretty good for someone recovering from a bad fall, broken bones and surgery.”

She glanced over her shoulder, her green eyes hopeful. “Any chance I could shower?”

An image of him taking off her panties flashed in his mind. He gave his head a mental shake. “Uh, sure. I’ll have to wrap your cast.”

“That’s what the nurse did at the hospital,” Sarah said with a relieved smile. “I may need you to pour the shampoo into my left hand.”

Or he could join her in the shower and wash her hair for her. He wouldn’t mind lathering her up.

Strike that. Cullen pushed the idea from his head. He found it too easy to think about her as his wife, not his soon-to-be ex-wife. She’d wanted out of the marriage. No reason to assume she wanted back in. Not that he wanted her back. He didn’t. At least most of the time, he didn’t. “Let’s get you fed, then cleaned up.”

Sarah stood in the bathroom wearing her orange robe and nothing underneath. She stared at the tile floor, not wanting to meet Cullen’s watchful eyes. She tightened the belt around her waist as best she could with one hand so the robe wouldn’t slip open.

His height and wide shoulders made the space feel cramped even though the bathroom was larger than the one at the hospital. He checked the plastic around her cast. “It should stay dry.”

“I don’t think any water is going to come close to my cast.”

He turned on the shower. Water splashed against the tub and curtain. “That’s the plan.”

Cullen had always been a planner. Too bad he hadn’t stuck to his plans instead of letting her derail them. That would have saved them both a lot of heartache. Well, at least her. “Have your life figured out again?”

His gaze met hers. “Pretty much. I made a few changes.”

Like removing her from his future plans. She pinched the bridge of her nose, ignoring the hollow feeling inside her.

He checked the water temperature. “Ready?”

Not really. “Sure.”

He pulled back the shower curtain. “There’s a mat on the bottom of the tub, so you shouldn’t slip, but be careful.”

“Okay.”

She waited for him to leave. He didn’t.

“Aren’t you getting in?” he asked.

Cullen stared at her as if she had something on her face. Left-over French toast, perhaps? She rubbed the back of her hand over her mouth. “Are you staying in here?”

“Yes.”

It was as simple and as complicated as that.

“I need to hand you shampoo,” he reminded her.

Oh, yeah. She’d forgotten about that. But still she hesitated. “This is kind of awkward.”

“Only if we make it awkward.”

“I’m not trying to.”

“Neither am I.”

“But I’m the one who is naked under my robe.”

“I can undress.”

She gave him a look.

He grinned, then faced the door. “Better?”

“Yes, thank you.” Mustering her courage with a deep breath wasn’t going to work, with her incision and ribs. She settled for a slight intake of air, untied the belt, dropped her robe and stepped inside the tub. She closed the shower curtain. “You can turn around now.”

“Is the water the right temperature?”

Hot water poured over her. Steam rose toward the ceiling. She picked up a bar of soap. “Perfect.”

“I remember you like it hot.”

She remembered the showers they’d taken together. Hot water pulsating down on them. Washing each other. Kissing. Touching.

The soap slipped out of her hand and clattered to the tub.

“Sarah—”

“I dropped the soap,” she said at the same time.

“Can you reach it?” he asked.

Bending hurt. But she wasn’t about to ask him to get it for her. That would be too awkward. Too…tempting. “No, but it’s okay. I really just wanted to wash my hair.”

“I’ve got the shampoo,” he said. “Stick out your hand when you want some.”

Once her hair was wet enough, she extended her left arm. The cooler air temperature made her shiver. Goose bumps covered her exposed skin.

He poured a dollop of shampoo onto her palm. “Is that enough?”

“Yes.”

Washing her hair was easier this time. “I’m getting the hang of using one hand.”

“Just takes time.”

Time she didn’t have. For the past twenty-four hours, Cullen had occupied the majority of her thoughts. Not Mount Baker. Once she had work to distract her everything would return to normal. She couldn’t wait for that to happen. She rinsed the shampoo from her hair.

“Need more?” he asked.

Yes, but not from him. He hadn’t been able to give her what she needed. She couldn’t be the wife he wanted. That was why they were better off apart. Still, the thought made her heart hurt. Not a want-to-throw-herself-a-pity-party aching, but a too-bad-this-couldn’t-have-worked pining. “I’m good.”

At least when it came to shampoo.

After she returned to the institute with her marriage and Cullen behind her, everything in her life would be good, too. Given how bad things had been, it sure couldn’t get any worse.

Later that evening, the doorbell rang. Sarah remained on the couch while Cullen answered the door. Her babysitter for the night, Leanne Thomas, must have arrived.

Sarah was looking forward to Cullen going to work. A physical separation from him would be a relief, even though she’d spent most of her day in bed while he caught up on things around the cabin. But she’d been thinking about him constantly. On her mind was the last place he belonged. Well, actually her heart was the last place, but that wasn’t going to happen again.

A pretty woman with long, shiny brown hair, an easy smile and wearing a huge diamond engagement ring carried in a platter of mini red velvet cupcakes. She placed the dessert on the kitchen table, then removed a green tote bag from her shoulder. “Hi, I’m Leanne.”

“I’m Sarah.” Cullen had called the by-the-book paramedic and mountain-rescue volunteer tough as nails, but Sarah didn’t get that impression at all. “Nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is mine.” Leanne glanced at Cullen, who was sticking a water bottle into his backpack. “Hope I’m not late.”

“Right on time.” He swung a backpack strap over his right shoulder. “Thanks for taking the overnight shift. I left a list of instructions on the breakfast bar. Sarah’s meds are on the kitchen counter. She should rest as much as possible. Short walks are okay, but not outside.”

“Bummer. I thought I could take her on a midnight stroll around Mirror Lake,” Leanne teased.

His gaze hardened. “You’re kidding.”

Sarah shook her head. He needed to lighten up and not take things so seriously.

Leanne’s mouth quirked. “Give me a little credit.”

“Just making sure,” he said. “Call me if you have any questions.”

What? Sarah bit her lower lip. He hadn’t wanted her to call him at work no matter what was going on. If she did contact him, he never got back to her. Most of the times she’d tried calling had been because she missed him and wanted to hear his voice.

“I’m sure Sarah will be able to answer any questions I might have,” Leanne said.

“Definitely.” Sarah liked how direct Leanne was. “I don’t know what instructions Cullen left, but my doctor’s orders are to take my medication. Sleep. Rest. Sleep some more. Rest some more.”

Leanne frowned. “Sounds boring.”

“It is,” Sarah agreed. “I fear I’m turning into a couch potato.”

Cullen’s lip curled. “Resting is important if you want to recover.”

“True, but you can still do stuff while you take it easy,” Leanne said. “I’ll have to see what I can come up with.”

“Thomas,” Cullen said, his voice containing a clear warning.

“Relax,” Leanne countered in a stern voice that made Sarah bite back a giggle. “Sarah will be fine. Get going before we throw you out.”

He raised his hands in mock surrender. “I’m going.”

As soon as the door closed, Leanne sat on the couch. “I’m sorry about your fall.”

“Thanks. I was at the wrong place, wrong time.”

“Well, you’re in the right place now. Hood Hamlet will be good for you. It won’t be long until you’re exploring Main Street.”

“I can’t wait.”

Colorful prisms of light reflected off Leanne’s diamond ring and danced around the living room. She stared lovingly at her ring.

“Congrats on your engagement,” Sarah said.

Leanne beamed. “Thanks. I still can’t believe I’m getting married.”

“Have you set a wedding date?”

She nodded. “The Saturday before Christmas. We hadn’t been together long when my fiancé, Christian, proposed on Christmas Day so we thought a year engagement sounded good.”

Very good. A year was long enough to get know someone, but not so long you would feel you’d wasted a lot of time if it didn’t work out. “Cullen said you’re a member of OMSAR. Does Christian belong, too?”

“No. He climbs and thought about joining, but he thinks I need something of my own, since we work together.”

“Smart guy.”

A dreamy expression filled Leanne’s brown eyes. “Very smart and smokin’ hot. Ever since we got together I feel like I won the lottery.”

“I know that feeling.”

“With Doc?”

Cullen had treated her with such respect from the moment they met. No other man in her life had ever done that. The cascade of memories made it hard to breathe. How had it gone so wrong? She nodded.

“How did you meet?” Leanne asked.

“I was attending the Red Rocks Rendezvous. We both lived in Seattle at the time and a mutual climbing acquaintance introduced us. A few hours later we ended up in the same self-rescue clinic.”

“Sounds like fate.”

“Only if fate has a really bad sense of humor.”

Leanne’s brow wrinkled. “Doc mentioned you’re getting a divorce.”

Sarah ignored the pang in her heart. “Yes.”

“I’ve gotten to know Doc pretty well the past few months,” Leanne said. “At first I thought he took himself way too seriously and had a stick up his butt. But he’s a good guy.”

“Cullen is a great guy. Not many men would bring their future ex-wives home to care for them.”

“This is none of my business, but I’m still going to ask.” Warmth and concern sounded in Leanne’s voice. “Is there a possibility the two of you will reconcile?

Sarah’s heart thudded. Her biggest fear was allowing him to get close to her again. “No chance. We eloped in Las Vegas two days after we met. It was impulsive and romantic. The first few months were like living in paradise. But we shouldn’t have jumped into marriage without getting to know each other better.”

Oh, no. She touched her mouth. She’d said way too much.

Compassion filled Leanne’s eyes. “Love knows no logic.”

Neither does lust. Sarah kept telling herself what she’d felt for Cullen was lust not love. She’d been too afraid to let him fully inside her heart, afraid he would leave her like everyone else in her life had. But what they’d shared had been nice—at times, wonderful—while it lasted. She only wished it could have lasted a little while longer.

Like forever.

The next morning Cullen unlocked the cabin’s front door. He yawned wide enough for a hummingbird to fit inside. His restless nights had caught up with him. He had one thought on his brain—sleep. He’d considered pulling off the road and taking a catnap, but he didn’t want to keep Leanne. He also wanted to see how Sarah was doing. He’d pulled out his cell phone more than once during his shift, but he hadn’t wanted to wake them.

He stepped into the cabin. The scent of freshly brewed coffee and something baking made his mouth water. He wasn’t used to coming home to such pleasant smells. Caffeine would mess with his sleep, but his stomach growled for whatever was cooking.

Feminine laughter filled the air—something Cullen had missed hearing. Sarah’s laugh seeped into him, filling up all the empty places inside with soothing warmth. He might have a great place to live in a wonderful town with a supportive community, but something was missing from his life—a woman.

After the divorce things will be better.

His mantra didn’t make him feel quite as good as it had a couple of weeks ago.

In the living room he saw the backs of Sarah’s and Leanne’s heads. They sat on the couch.

“Good morning, ladies,” he said.

Leanne turned and greeted him with a wide smile. “Hey, Doc. Just in time. The muffins will be ready in a few minutes.”

Sarah looked at him. No smile. No excitement in her eyes. Nothing.

He would have appreciated some reaction from her. Maybe she was tired. Or hurting. But he hoped not.

“Busy shift?” Sarah asked.

Cardiac arrests, fractures, appendicitis, a gunshot victim and two car accidents. Not to mention earaches, asthma attacks, fevers and cuts. “Typical.”

“That’ll change next week,” Leanne said. “Full moon.”

“Thanks for the warning.” He noticed the two were looking at a magazine. “How did things go?”

“Fine,” Sarah said. “I went to bed a half hour after Leanne arrived and woke up an hour ago.”

“Easiest gig I’ve ever had. Sarah is the perfect patient.” Leanne held up a thick bridal magazine full of glossy photographs. “She also has great wedding-planning advice.”

“Wedding planning, huh?” That surprised Cullen. “I suppose Sarah knows all about being married by an Elvis impersonator.”

Leanne’s mouth formed a perfect O. She looked at Sarah. “You didn’t tell me that.”

She shrugged. “I figured getting married in Vegas implied an Elvis impersonator.”

“He had that jiggling-leg thing going on.” Cullen demonstrated. “‘Darlin’, do you take this man…’”

Leanne laughed. “Where is my cell phone? No one will believe this. You sound like Elvis.”

Sarah nodded. “We bought a wedding package that included a video of the ceremony. Each time I watch it, I’m amazed how well Cullen has nailed the voice.”

His heart kicked in his chest. “You still watch the video?”

Sarah’s gaze flew to the magazine. “I used to. It’s packed away in a box somewhere.”

Cullen hadn’t expected she’d kept the video. He was sure she’d destroyed all evidence of their wedding. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she’d gone so far as to toss her wedding ring into the garbage. He’d thought about getting rid of his, but he’d decided to wait for the divorce to be finalized.

The oven timer buzzed.

Leanne stood, walked to the kitchen and removed a muffin tin from the oven. “I hope you like blueberry.”

A tight smiled formed on Sarah’s lips. “I love them. So does Cullen.”

He remembered lazy mornings when he wasn’t working. Sleeping in, having sex, taking long showers together, going to the corner coffee shop to pick up coffee and muffins.

Leanne put the muffins on a dinner plate and carried them to the living room with salad plates, napkins, a butter knife and butter.

“If you don’t mind, I’m going to take off.” She placed everything on the coffee table. “Christian is finished with his shift. We only have one day off the same since the chief put us on different squads.”

“Go have fun,” Sarah said. “Thanks for staying with me and making muffins.”

“Happy to help out. I’ll be back when it’s my turn.” Leanne grabbed her tote bag. “Be sure to go through the magazine and see what else you come up with.”

“Will do,” Sarah said.

“I’ll walk you out,” Cullen said.

Leanne fell in step next to him. “Ever the gentleman.”

He opened the door and followed her outside.

“I’d been wondering why you haven’t been dating,” Leanne said.

“I figured it would be better to wait until the divorce was official.”

“When will that be?” she asked.

“My attorney knows Sarah is staying with me. He thinks everything can be settled shortly.”

“Sarah’s great.” Leanne pursed her lips. “You’re sure a divorce is what you want?”

“Positive. Sarah wants one, too, so don’t get any ideas. Half the town has tried setting me up on blind dates. I don’t need them interfering in my estranged marriage.”

Leanne held up her hands. “Just asking. And since Sarah’s staying with you, you’re not quite as estranged as you were.”

“Thomas.”

A knowing grin lit up her face. “What?”

Cullen let it go. He knew she was only trying to help. “Thanks for staying with Sarah.”

“You’re welcome,” she said. “See you soon.”

He went back inside to find Sarah looking at the bridal magazine. The muffins sat untouched. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

She closed the magazine. “I was waiting for you.”

That was polite. He sat next to her. “Do you want me to butter yours?”

“Thanks, but I’ve got it.” Sarah placed a muffin on a plate. She awkwardly sliced the top then added a pat of butter. “These smell so good.”

Cullen took one. “Leanne’s got a thing for muffins and chocolate.”

Sarah rested her plate on her lap. “She’s nice. I like her.”

“I thought you might,” he said. “Leanne reminds me of you.”

“I’m nothing like her.”

“You both work in male-dominated environments. You’re competent and intelligent. You ski and climb.”

“Okay, I see the commonality.” Sarah bit into the muffin. “But I wish I cooked as well as she does.”

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

She swatted his arm. “I’m not that bad.”

“I’m joking. You’re a good cook.” He noticed the bridal magazine on her lap. “I’m curious how you know so much about wedding planning, when we eloped.”

She wiped her mouth with a napkin. “I told you I was engaged.”

“I assumed it was a short engagement.”

“Two and a half years.”

He drew back. “That’s a long time.”

“Longer when you add in the years we dated.”

“When was this?”

“Four years before I met you.”

He did a quick calculation. “You must have been really young when you met him.”

“Too young. And stupid,” she admitted. “But I thought I knew better.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.

“You and I got married two days after we met. I figured it didn’t matter.”

He set his half-eaten muffin on his plate. “What happened?”

She stared at the magazine. “Dylan entered my life at a time I felt very alone. I thought I was so lucky he wanted to be with me. There were some red flags, but I charged ahead with wedding plans. That morning…”

Cullen leaned toward her, feeling as if a cornice of snow had collapsed on top of him. “The morning of your wedding day?”

She nodded. “I was in a small room at the back of the church. I’d worked two jobs to buy my wedding gown and pay for the reception. I was fixing my veil when Dylan entered. He said he’d been up all night thinking about things, about us, and had come to a conclusion. He couldn’t marry me. The wedding was off.”

Anger surged at how badly Sarah must have been hurt. Cullen balled his hands. “What a loser.”

She shrugged. “He said I wasn’t anything special. I would have held him back. I don’t blame him for not wanting to marry me.”

“Don’t say that. The guy had some serious issues if he thought any of those things about you.”

“Yeah, issues with me.” If Sarah was trying to sound lighthearted, she hadn’t succeeded and that bothered Cullen even more. “But I got over him. Moved on. Met you.”

The conversation they’d had outside the wedding chapel in Las Vegas rushed back.

Why don’t we go inside and make things official? If we elope, you won’t forget about me when we get back to Seattle or leave me standing at the altar after we’ve dated for years and I’ve planned a spectacular wedding for us.

Cullen remembered his reply.

I would never leave you like that.

Guilt lodged in his throat. He had left her. The minute she mentioned divorce he’d hightailed it out of the apartment. Had mentioning divorce been a test? To see how committed he was? Part of him wanted to be angry if she’d been testing without his knowing it, yet…even if she hadn’t been doing that, he’d failed. He’d run the second he had a chance. No wonder she’d freaked out on him whenever he tried to contact her about the divorce. “I’m sorry.”

“No apologies needed. Getting jilted happened way before you.”

“I know, but I left you, too. If I’d known…”

“Would it have changed anything?” she asked.

He thought long and hard. Things hadn’t been going well between them. She’d been pulling away from him. He hadn’t like how out of control he felt around her. “Probably not.”

Sarah’s lip quivered. “I appreciate your honesty.”

“I appreciate your telling me about this.”

A marble statue had a warmer smile than hers. “Better late than never.”

Except it was too late to do anything about it now. Or was it?