Читать книгу The Winner Takes It All: Winning Back His Wife / In Her Rival's Arms / Royally Seduced - Melissa McClone - Страница 14

WOULD IT HAVE changed anything?

Probably not.

Cullen’s two words reaffirmed Sarah’s actions of a year ago. He’d even apologized. Something she’d never expected him to do. She should feel relieved she’d been spot-on about their relationship. Marriage had never tied them to each other as a couple, as husband and wife. Instead of relief, a heavy sadness bore down on her. She leaned back on the couch, looking at the wood-beamed ceiling.

“Need a refill?” Cullen asked from the kitchen.

“No, thanks.” She flexed her left hand to stop it from shaking. “My cup is full.”

She’d known things were over between them. She was used to the heartache and resentment over her failed marriage, so she wasn’t sure why what Cullen had said bothered her so much.

Face it. Some people weren’t cut out for marriage. Like her. Her parents. Must be something in the DNA.

She glanced at the cover of the bridal magazine. The beautiful model dressed in a couture gown with perfectly applied makeup and coiffed hair glowed with a radiance Sarah envied. The woman wasn’t a bride, but more thought had gone into the carefully executed photo shoot than into their eloping.

Her appetite disappeared.

Cullen returned to the living room with a steaming cup of coffee. “You look better today.”

“I’m getting there.” Physically, at least. Emotionally was another story. She rubbed her thumb against her fingertips. “You must be tired after working all night. Go to bed. I’ll be fine while you sleep.”

He raised his cup of coffee. “I got my second wind.”

Maybe she should take a nap and give them a break from each other. She nearly laughed. Running off was Cullen’s typical avoidance tactic, not hers.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

He’d been honest before. It was her turn. She met his gaze. “I’m surprised you’re still here.”

He sipped his coffee. “Where would I go?”

“Anywhere I’m not.”

“That’s—”

“What you used to do,” she interrupted. “Whenever things were really good between us or when we’d disagree, you always disappeared to the hospital, some mountain-rescue thing, wherever else you could go.”

He tugged at his polo-shirt collar. “I only did what I needed to do.”

“Exactly.”

She had never entered into the equation. It was almost as if he were different people. The Doctor. The Mountain Rescuer. The Lover. The Husband was the one role he hadn’t seemed to embrace.

“I don’t want to argue,” he said.

“We’re not arguing,” she countered. “We’re having a discussion.”

He took a sip of his coffee. “Let’s take a short walk outside instead.”

She drummed her fingers on the sofa arm. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Running away.”

“I invited you on a walk.”

“You’re trying to change the subject because you don’t want to talk.”

“All you want to do is talk, even when there’s nothing to discuss.”

Ouch. His words stung. “I’ll shut up, then.”

“That’s not…” He dragged his hand through his hair. “Let’s go for a walk. I don’t want us to fight.”

“This isn’t anywhere close to fighting,” she explained. “Sometimes when my parents fought, the police got involved. One of my stepfathers burned our clothes in the front yard. And my ex-fiancé…”

“Did he hurt you?”

“Not physically. But Dylan’s words could be as powerful as a fist.”

Cullen reached for her.

She moved away from him. His compassion and tenderness were not what she needed right now. “I’m not proud I allowed it to happen for as long as it did or wasn’t the one to break up, but at least I knew where I stood with him.”

“You know how I feel…felt about you. There’s no reason to bring this up now.” He stood. “I’m going for a walk. If you’d rather stay inside…”

“No.” The word spewed from her mouth like lava out of Mount Etna. “I want to go outside.”

“Then let’s go.”

Five minutes later she found herself standing on Cullen’s driveway in her boots and wearing a jacket. The sharp scent of pine wafted on the breeze. Sunlight kissed her cheeks. She breathed in, filling her lungs with the crisp mountain air.

“Isn’t this better than arguing inside?” Cullen asked.

“It’s nice, but the inside wasn’t so bad,” she said. “The best part of disagreeing is making up.”

“I don’t think so.”

“That’s because you never stuck around for the make-up sex.”

Cullen started to speak, then pressed his lips together.

Humming a little tune, Sarah walked away from him. For the first time in a long while, she had the upper hand. She wanted to savor the moment.

Leaves and twigs crunched under her feet. She walked along the edge of the road.

He caught up to her. “So, is there a statute of limitation on make-up sex?”

Sarah froze. That was…unexpected. She looked over at him.

Wicked laughter lit his eyes. “Seems I missed out.”

She raised her chin. “Your loss.”

His charming smile unleashed a colony of bats in her stomach. “Yours, too.”

Darn him. This was what he always did. Turn off the serious side. Get all sexy and fun and flirty. Make her insides hot and gooey. He hadn’t changed one bit.

She casually lifted one shoulder, but her heart pounded like a jackhammer. “You win some. You lose some.”

He stepped closer to her. Too close for anything other than kissing her.

He wouldn’t, would he? She gulped, not sure what she wanted the answer to be. Okay, she knew. But yes wasn’t the correct response if she wanted to play it safe.

He cocked a brow. “So the statute…”

It was up to her. Temptation flared, only to be tempered by common sense. What she wanted warred with what she needed, but self-preservation reigned supreme.

Her fingernails dug into her palms. “Expired.”

Sarah marched down the road as if her life depended on putting distance between them. Her abdomen ached. She kept going. She didn’t know where she was going. She didn’t care.

Cullen grabbed her hand. “Slow down. You’ll hurt yourself.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not. You’re mad at me. Even madder than you were inside.”

She pursed her lips. She wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of being right.

“I know this because you have a crease between your eyebrows.”

Sarah touched the spot.

He moved her finger. “Right here.”

She felt the line, but still wasn’t going to admit it.

Cullen glanced to his right. His eyes widened. “Look.”

Sarah had no idea what he wanted her to see. “What?”

“Shhh.” Cullen touched her lips with his finger, then positioned himself behind her. His chest pressed against her back. He brought his left arm around her and pointed. “A doe and two fawns.”

Awareness hummed through Sarah. He emanated heat and strength. Her pulse raced.

She couldn’t focus. Bigfoot could have been standing in front of her and she wouldn’t have noticed him.

Her reaction made zero sense. She was still angry, resentful and hurt over their breakup. Their marriage was over. Yet her body didn’t seem to understand that.

“See them?” he whispered.

The warmth of his breath against her neck gave her chills. Her gaze followed the length of his arm until she saw the deer. A momma and her two babies, munching on a bush. Her breath stilled. “So cute.”

“I’ve seen these three around the cabin,” he said quietly.

The deer ate without glancing at them. The fawns were more interested in keeping an eye on their mother, who paid close attention to both of them.

Sarah wished her mom had cared as much for her. Wished Cullen had, too. She shoved her left hand into her jacket pocket. “I haven’t noticed them or any others.”

“You will. You haven’t been here long.”

It felt as if she’d been here forever. “I’ll be on the lookout.”

The doe stiffened. She looked in their direction, then past them, as if she sensed something.

A car drove down the road. The sound of the engine splintered the silence.

The deer bounded into the trees, her two fawns following.

If only Sarah could go back to Bellingham. She wanted to pretend none of this had happened—her accident and her injuries and her reaction to Cullen. She wanted it to all go away.

He faced her. “They’ll be back.”

What she and Cullen had shared once would never return. A sigh welled up inside her. She parted her lips.

He lowered his head to hers and kissed her.

Sarah’s heart stalled.

His kiss was gentle and sweet. He didn’t touch her except with his lips. But that was enough.

Her nerve endings stirred to life as if awakened from a deep slumber. Pleasurable sensations pulsed through her. She’d forgotten how wonderful his kiss was.

He backed away from her.

Sarah took a step back herself. Swallowed. “Why did you do that?”

“Make-up kiss.”

She laughed.

“The statute of limitations for a make-up kiss has to be longer than for make-up sex,” he said.

“If it isn’t, I doubt I’ll press charges.”

He grinned wryly. “That’s generous of you, Lavagirl.”

Her lips tingled. “Only repaying your generosity, Dr. Gray.”

His smile spread, matching the heat spreading inside her. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

If she weren’t careful, he could overwhelm her. “But we shouldn’t make kisses a habit.”

“You’re probably right about that,” Cullen agreed. “As long as we don’t argue, we should be fine.”

Probably. Should be. He’d left a lot of wiggle room.

That meant it would be up to her to make sure nothing more happened. And even though Sarah knew better, she was kind of hoping there would be more kisses.

Cullen couldn’t believe he’d kissed Sarah.

A momentary lapse? If that had been the case he would have kissed her with more passion. He’d been careful to keep things under control. Not easy with the images of make-up sex shuffling through his mind. But he had still enjoyed the kiss.

Had he run away, as she said?

Cullen had left a few times whenever he felt his control slipping or was too overwhelmed by her. But she had to be exaggerating the number of times, caught up in some revised history of their marriage to make her feel better, less guilty for bringing up the topic of divorce.

He peeked into her room. She was sound asleep.

Good. Cullen needed sleep himself. Caffeine was keeping him going at the moment. But he wanted to do something first. He entered his room, closed the door and made a call on his cell phone.

“Hey, Doc,” OMSAR rescue leader Sean Hughes said. “How’s Sarah?”

“Napping. She’s looking better.”

“Good to hear.”

Cullen adjusted the phone at his ear. “I’m signed up for your ready team tomorrow, but I want to stay home with Sarah.”

“No worries,” Sean said. “We’ll get it covered.”

“Thanks, and I’m sorry.”

“No apology necessary. Do what you have to do.”

That’s what Cullen was trying to do. Even though he wasn’t sure why he was doing it.

A week later sunlight streamed through Sarah’s bedroom window. The snow must have stopped overnight. Not that good weather would change her agenda for the day. Physical therapy and a walk were as exciting as things got. She could work on her laptop for a few minutes, but headaches and her arm limited her productivity. Still, she forced herself out of bed and into the hallway.

The scent of freshly brewed coffee and something baking filled the air. Sarah’s mouth watered at the tantalizing aromas. Her tummy grumbled.

She wondered who would be staying with her today. The delicious smells wafting in the air told her it wasn’t Zoe Hughes, who was scheduled to be here. The former socialite was beautiful and friendly, but she couldn’t cook. Hannah had been here yesterday, so that left Carly or Leanne.

Unless it was…Cullen.

The thought gave Sarah an unexpected boost of energy. She quickened her pace.

She hadn’t seen him in days. He’d been working his shifts and covering for other doctors. He’d explained he was doing this because of being up in Seattle with her, not to get away from her now. He’d even called to say hello, something he’d never done, which Sarah appreciated.

But his absences reminded her of how she’d always been so desperate to see him when they lived together. She wasn’t desperate now. She was…eager. The logic behind her eagerness couldn’t readily be explained, but her frustration could be.

Sarah’s slow recovery gave her insight into how magma must feel as it rose out of the earth’s mantle and moved into the crust. She wasn’t a mix of solids, melt and gases, but the physics behind making progress with her injuries was similar and taking way too much time.

In the hallway, Sarah noticed someone in the kitchen. Someone with brown hair. Someone female with two braids.

Not Cullen. Leanne.

Sarah stumbled, but regained her balance before she fell. She’d experienced a lifetime of disappointments, everything from forgotten birthdays to having her marriage disintegrate. Not seeing Cullen was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

Leanne greeted Sarah with a smile. “You’re up early today.”

“I went to bed around eight.” Sarah hadn’t been that tired, but she’d wanted Hannah to go home and say good-night to her three children. Being tucked in meant a lot to kids. It would have meant a lot to Sarah if her parents had done that.

Cullen must have come and gone while she was sleeping. If he’d returned home at all. A few times this week he hadn’t, and not knowing where he was bugged her.

Sarah leaned against the breakfast bar. “I thought Zoe was going to be here.”

“She had to run to Portland, so two of us are tag-teaming it.” Leanne picked up the coffeepot. “You’re stuck with me until lunchtime.”

“You’re the one who’s stuck.” These women were so kind and friendly. “I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me.”

“It’s our pleasure.” The sincerity in Leanne’s voice touched Sarah’s heart. “This is what friends do for each other.”

Cullen was so lucky. Hood Hamlet was a very special place. A perfect place for a family. Not that she would ever have one…

As Leanne poured coffee into two cups, light glimmered off her diamond engagement ring. The pretty paramedic had found her one true love at the fire station. A younger man who adored her, according to Zoe.

Sarah felt a pang. Maybe happy-ever-afters were possible for some people. She hoped so for her new friend’s sake.

“Sit.” Leanne placed the steaming mugs on the table. “I baked banana-nut muffins.”

Sarah sat. “I like those as much as blueberry ones.”

People in Hood Hamlet took care of each other and strangers like her, too. Home-cooked, healthy meals were either made or arrived each day. Though Cullen had been away so much, he’d ended up with leftovers. When he came home…

Her throat tightened. Cullen hadn’t fallen right back into the same pattern of their marriage, but the longer he stayed away, the more she worried he might.

Leanne returned to the table with a platter of muffins. “Dig in.”

“Thanks.” Sarah bit into one. The flavors and warmth filled her mouth. “Delicious. I like the walnuts.”

“Me, too.”

She took another bite, but couldn’t stop thinking about Cullen. Thoughts of him more than made up for his physical absence. That added to her growing frustrations over her injuries and inability to get much work done. She tore off a piece of the muffin and shoved it into her mouth.

Concern clouded Leanne’s brown eyes. “Taking it easy is hard for you.”

Sarah stared into her coffee cup. “It’s downright aggravating.”

“Cullen told me you’re improving every day.”

Hurt sliced through her. He hadn’t told her that. She shouldn’t take it personally. She wasn’t his friend or a climbing and ski partner like Leanne.

So what if he’d kissed Sarah? Or spent two whole days and night taking care of her before he’d returned to a marathon of shift coverage? She was a temporary roommate and no longer a permanent part of his life—a life she was beginning to envy after a week and a half in Hood Hamlet.

Being envious was silly.

Everything she wanted and cared about was in Bellingham. Mount Baker. The institute. Her postdoc.

Leanne studied her. “Since you’re doing better, maybe it’s time you do something in town.”

Anticipation made Sarah sit straighter. “I would love that.”

“Zoe wants us to go to Taco Night at the brewpub this evening. Join us.”

Sarah’s stomach fluttered. “Sounds like fun, but I don’t know if Cullen will agree. He can’t turn off the doctor switch.”

Leanne grinned. “I’ll talk to him. Convince him going out will be good for you.”

“He still might say no.”

“Then I’ll ask Paulson to help me kidnap you. He’s been my best friend since I was nine. He’s up for anything.”

“Even kidnapping?”

“Pretty much,” Leanne said. “He might draw the line at disposing of a body, but with Paulson you never know, especially if a pretty woman is involved.”

A smile tugged at the corners of Sarah’s lips. “Sounds like an interesting guy.”

Leanne sipped her coffee. “He’s a real-life Peter Pan who will never grow up, but he’s also a total sweetheart. You’ll meet him after lunch. He’s staying with you until Cullen gets home.”

Sarah perked up. “Cullen will be home tonight?”

“This afternoon. That’s why tonight is perfect for you to get out.”

“I’d like that.” Especially if she could be with Cullen.

“It’ll happen.” Leanne sounded so confident.

“And if not, you and Bill can kidnap me.”

A fake kidnapping sounded fun, given Sarah had been lying around since she’d arrived. Now, if she’d been lying around with Cullen…

Heat rocketed through her. Uh-oh. Better stick to how she was going to get to Taco Night. Mexican food was as spicy as she could handle right now.

Cullen sat in the hospital cafeteria. A few crumbs from his fish and chips remained on his plate. He sipped his coffee. The caffeine would get him through the next two hours.

A good thing he needed to cover only eight hours today. He’d spent the past five days covering shifts for others and working his own. He’d ended up staying at an anesthesiologist’s house rather than drive all the way home only to return a few hours later.

He missed Sarah, but enjoyed this reprieve. Being with her messed with his head. He didn’t want her getting anywhere close to his heart.

But this time away from her had intensified his guilt. Not only for leaving her the way he had a year ago, but also for running away from her when they’d been living together as husband and wife. He hated admitting the truth, even to himself, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized Sarah had been correct about what he’d been doing. No wonder she’d been unhappy. After what her jerk of an ex-fiancé had done to her, Cullen must have made her feel like crap.

He never wanted to hurt her that way again. That was why he’d made it clear to her that he had shifts to make up. He had no ulterior motives in working so much this week.

And even though he wasn’t with her, he thought about Sarah every day. More like several times each day. Wondered how her recovery was going; was she missing him as much as he missed her?

Curious, he called Leanne. She’d texted him this morning saying she was with Sarah instead of Zoe.

“Hey,” Leanne answered. “I was going to call you.”

His shoulder muscles tensed. “Sarah okay?”

“She looks better than I’ve seen her look all week. Stronger, too.”

Relief washed over him. “Good.”

“Sarah is doing so well you should bring her to Taco Night.”

He hadn’t been to the brewpub in three weeks. “She’s not up for it.”

“She wants to go,” Leanne said to his surprise. “She needs to get out of the cabin.”

“Sarah isn’t a social butterfly. She’s a scientist who would rather be on a volcano than anywhere else.”

“It’s not some fancy soiree. It’s tacos at the brewpub.”

Everyone he knew would be there. There would be more questions. “She’ll get too tired.”

“I don’t know how she’s managed this long.” Disapproval rang clear in Leanne’s voice. “Just sitting around the cabin and taking short walks isn’t good for her morale or her recovery.”

But it was safe. He didn’t have to worry about Sarah when that was all she was doing. “She does need to get out more. Next week will be better.”

“Maybe for you, but not Sarah. You can stay home tonight. Paulson will bring her.”

Cullen laughed. “You want Paulson to take my wife to Taco Night?”

“It’s not a problem,” she said. “He’s with Sarah right now. The two hit it off.”

Cullen’s heart went splat against the cafeteria floor.

“What?” His voice rose. He lowered it. “You texted you were with her.”

“This morning. I had to attend a Christmas Magic festival meeting after lunch. No worries. Paulson will take good care of Sarah.”

That was what Cullen was afraid of.