Читать книгу DIY Conflict Resolution: Seven Choices and Five Actions of a Master - Nance L. Schick - Страница 3

Ideally, I want everyone to have these tools. At the time of the initial writing, the news was filled with stories about conflicts—from Ferguson, Missouri and New York City in the United States to Columbia, the Gaza Strip, the Ukraine, and Mexico. Now, terrorists are rumored to be smuggling into Europe among the Syrian refugees welcomed warmly by many countries, and the U.S. Congress is threatening a shutdown while several of those who should be there working toward solutions for their constituents are instead campaigning for a Presidential nomination in what appears a lot more like a reality television show than a race for any professional position.

These are just a few of the stories we are hearing and reading about on a daily basis. People are killing each other over drugs, money, religious differences, sex, oil, and other resources. Even when they aren’t resorting to violence, many are verbally abusing each other on the Internet.

As a human race, we are fighting in our streets, in our schools, in our homes, at work, and online. We blame, demonize and express hatred or heartbreaking indifference toward each other. We think we are protecting ourselves and deterring future acts that we don’t want to experience. Yet we don’t feel safe or free, even when we “win” the arguments, fights, or wars.

We’re not winning battles at work, either. A 2011 Mercer LLC study of 30,000 employees worldwide reported that as many as 56% wanted to leave their jobs. In the United States, a 2012 Right Management study indicated that 65% of the workers surveyed were either somewhat or totally unsatisfied with their work. Is it any surprise that a 2013 Harris Interactive Study found that only 67% of Americans were optimistic about the future? When we’re not satisfied with the situation where we spend more than one-third of our time each day, our lives and the future look pretty bleak.

“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”

—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Despite its image as a land of opportunity, and being one of the 10 richest countries in the world, America doesn’t seem to be offering much opportunity for happiness. Its citizens are 22% less happy than the average citizen in the world, according to a 2012 Gallup poll. People in developing countries with low current life evaluations are more optimistic than Americans. Of course, this is because those in some developing countries can’t imagine their circumstances getting much worse.

In the US, it appears that we are aware that our lives could be a lot worse, but we also believe we should have access to more. We are told that $50,000.00 USD per year is the threshold salary for happiness, and in 2012, only 44% of Americans reached that threshold. Notice that this is the exact same percentage of workers who are reportedly unsatisfied with their work. We feel stuck between rock bottom and a glass ceiling. Perhaps that’s why more people are looking to prescription drugs for their “quick fixes.”

In 2013, the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (“OECD”) expressed concern regarding the increase in prescriptions for anti-depressants, especially in wealthy countries, despite the lack of a corresponding increase in diagnoses to support the prescriptions. According to the OECD, one in 10 people in Iceland, Australia, Canada, and Nordic countries are taking prescription anti-depressants. In the US and China, the numbers are even higher, and the dosages are also of concern.

You certainly don’t think we’re winning in relationships, do you? You’ve heard that the divorce rates are high, but that’s not the only place we’re not winning. According to the Pew Research Center, 61% of unmarried men and women indicated that they would like to be married, and another 27% were not sure. Yet only 51% of Americans were married in 2010. Again, it seems that we aren’t getting what we want, or we are afraid to declare things one way or another—likely due to our fear that we can’t have what we really desire.

I am convinced that we can have what we want. I have discovered many tools to help people create successful and satisfying businesses, careers, family relationships, hobbies, marriages, “sabbaticals,” and lives. So, this book is for you (and for me, too). Nevertheless, I suspect that most reading are high achievers who have gotten stuck in one or two areas of life. You might be an accomplished attorney, doctor, educator, or entrepreneur with a solid career, but you are lacking family harmony or you haven’t found the partner with whom you can start a family. Perhaps you are an amazing spouse and parent, but you haven’t been able to get your career off the ground. You’ve done all of the right things where school, internships and work experience are concerned, but you haven’t gotten that big break to propel you forward into the Land of Success that you dreamed of. You’re not in dire straits, yet you’re not exactly in love with your life, either. You might even feel a little guilty about your discontent, knowing that there are many people in the world struggling to find food or clean water.

You’ve come to the right place. In this book, you will learn to:

•Build skill in creating solutions from a broad range of options

•Reconnect with your original and unmet expectations

•Free yourself from anger, disappointment, and distraction

•Discover how to listen for the real obstacles to agreement

•Become the Chief Resolution Officer in your life