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Respect is more easily demonstrated through actions, words, programs, rituals, policies, and activities. Respect covers a vast amount of components including:

 Ourselves

 Others (looks, actions, and personalities)

 The environment

 Physical space

 Different viewpoints, philosophies, beliefs, and opinions

 Religion

 Diversity

 Gender

 Lifestyle choices

 Ethnic origin

 Physical and mental ability

FSSs recognize these components and have rich conversations about what happens in the building to provide respect to all.

My dear friend Gene Bedley, the executive director for the National Character Education Center, is the master of teaching respect. He has an entire program on ensuring your school teaches and models respect. Gene has eight rules of respect:

1 Everyone has dignity and worth. Human beings are valuable and unique. Each person is an unrepeatable miracle woven together like no other person.

2 Acknowledge and validate others' feelings and ideas. Kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

3 Focused eye contact and the ability to repeat what others share will demonstrate active listening. The first step to effective listening is to stop talking.

4 When exchanging ideas with another person, seek first to understand by asking clarifying questions.

5 Recognize that your body language communicates as much as your words. Your actions speak so loudly, people can't hear you.

6 Recognize that every person has something to teach. To teach is to learn; to listen is to learn more.

7 The way you treat others is proof of the respect you have for yourself.

8 Express generosity and kindness to those in need. Love never fails.

Gene's program recommends that schools begin a Respect Campaign focusing on “IT'S NOT COOL TO BE CRUEL.” He emphasizes to treat others with respect and encourages everyone to wear buttons that ask, “Do you know what I like about you?” to also spark intense discussions.

“What comes from a person when they are “squeezed” shows what's inside.”

Wayne Dyer

Realistically, we all know that dignity and respect begin at home. However, we cannot put our heads in the sand and ignore the fact that some students arrive at our doors with no understanding of what it means to promote dignity and respect. We must deal with this issue head on to create our FSS.

A perfect example of this was in my first year of teaching. I was from Massachusetts teaching in an extremely southern school, Lacoochee Elementary in Lacoochee, Florida. As a young, single teacher from the North, I was amazed at how the students would always respond, “yes ma'am” or “no ma'am” when asked a question. I “disrespectfully” asked them not to call me “ma'am” because I did NOT understand the culture and associated ma'am with age. Immediately, my wonderful principal called me into his office and politely, with dignity and respect, taught me that it was the southern culture to refer to adults as ma'am and sir. I learned a valuable lesson that day. I also personally learned to use the terms ma'am and sir with pride. Teachers must respect others' cultures and learn as much about the culture as possible.

I believe there is a hierarchy occurring when we concentrate initially on respect. Respectful adults then focus on relationships, which leads to relevance in the school and classroom. Creating an environment of care and compassion is based on relationships – all relationships. This is a school where a priority is placed on fostering meaningful student-to-student, student-to-adults, adults-to-students, and adult-to-adult relationships. This is a school where bullying, racial comments, and inappropriate behavior are absolutely unacceptable. This is an FSS where adults and students enjoy and look forward to long-term positive relationships.