Читать книгу Mind Over Clutter - Nicola Lewis - Страница 13

The Power of Decluttering

I’ve witnessed many times the powerful effect that decluttering can have on my clients’ state of mind. When I arrive at people’s homes, they are usually very excited to see me (always a good sign!). Sometimes they tell me that this is the moment when they breathe out and start to relax; the task they’ve been dreading is about to be sorted once and for all.

You see, not everyone likes to declutter and get organised all by themselves. It can be, for some people, sheer drudgery if they don’t enjoy doing it or are too busy to set aside the time. And it can be quite traumatic if people become over-attached to some of their personal possessions and find it hard to let go. I can help to reassure my clients by smiling, taking control of the situation and trying to make the process more fun for them. We will have a chat and a laugh together as we work. I encourage them to tell me what makes them feel relaxed when they’re at home, and then, if they become overwhelmed, I can do something positive to help lighten the mood and take the stress out of what we’re doing. It could be lighting a soothing candle, listening to the radio or a favourite playlist, enjoying some background cooking aromas, or just taking a break from the job in hand and sitting down for a chat with a cup of tea and some biscuits.

It’s not rocket science – really, it’s just about what makes you happy and what transports you to that happy place. And so decluttering becomes a part of your self-care routine and a way of taking care of yourself and your home.

It’s not rocket science. It’s just about what makes you happy and what transports you to that happy place.

Asking for Help

Asking for help can sometimes be embarrassing or even scary. How many times have you said to a friend or relative: ‘Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help’, but you never heard back from them? I guess some people see it as a sign of weakness or they feel insecure allowing someone to do something for them. There’s no denying that we feel stronger and more in control when we fend for ourselves, but it’s important to note that we are even stronger when we work together as a team.

When I started my business, I wasn’t fully aware of the immense and transformative power of decluttering. I knew it worked for me, but I hadn’t seen the wonderful effects on other people’s lives.

One day I received a call from Sarah, who was desperate for my services and couldn’t believe she had found someone who did exactly what she had been looking for. She was extremely emotional on the phone and I remember trying to reassure her and saying, ‘Well done, you’ve just cleared your first hurdle by recognising you’ve got a problem and asking for help.’ I couldn’t wait to lend a hand.

Sarah and her husband both worked for a large law firm in the City of London and every day they both left the house just after 6am and didn’t return until around 9pm. They loved their jobs, but the pressure was high. Sarah became increasingly anxious when the weekends came around and she opened the kitchen cupboards and wardrobes. Along with the bathroom and the living spaces in her house, they were full of stuff and she knew she had to sort it, but the problem seemed so immense and insurmountable that she couldn’t psych herself up to tackle it. It was so overwhelming that it was even starting to affect her relationship with her husband and how she felt about herself. She compared herself unfavourably with some of her work colleagues who were in a similar situation but, unlike her, they just seemed to get on with it and sort out the mess.

Sarah’s main reason for inviting me into her home was that she couldn’t do it all by herself and she needed help. Together, we came up with a plan of which areas were in most urgent need of decluttering and got down to business. To her immense surprise and relief, we had so much fun. While we worked, she played songs by Prince, her favourite artist, and she sang, danced, cried, hugged me and stepped back in amazement – all because she could feel her worries disappearing as a huge weight was lifted off her mind.

This was when I truly realised the huge impact that decluttering can have and it made me excited and motivated to help even more people.

There’s no need to feel guilty or harbour a sense of failure because you’re asking someone else to help you declutter. It’s often much more effective to hand a problem over to someone who isn’t personally involved and can tackle it more dispassionately. It’s all too easy to get sentimental and overemotional when you have to make decisions about ditching your belongings.

Comparing yourself to others is a natural thing to do, especially when things aren’t going your way and if you have friends who appear to take it all in their stride. But you need to remember that we all lose our sh*t at times, and some of us just hide it better than others. As my grandma Lottie always used to say, ‘The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.’ And how right she was! So let’s all do our best not to compare and to embrace what we have. Be happy and never be afraid to ask for help or to offer to help others who need it. Most importantly, always be kind to you.

Getting Started

Of course, you may not need me on hand to get started. You may feel that the time has come for you to roll up your sleeves and have a go yourself. So once you’ve decided to take the plunge, the key is to analyse the problem, figure out a plan and work through it gradually, one task at a time, embracing the process and going about it in an orderly, methodical way.

1 Grab yourself a pad of paper and a pen and begin by writing a to-do list for every room in your home, noting down all the items you’d like to declutter from each one (more about this in Chapter 2).

2 If you feel you need help, ask a family member or a friend. Feeling supported and getting a second opinion is beneficial and makes the whole process much easier.

3 Once you’ve decided on a plan, set aside an hour a day or however long you can spare for decluttering and tick the jobs off your list as you go along, tackling one room at a time.

One step at a time

Don’t try to do too much too soon. If you do, at some point the task will overwhelm you and that could put you off continuing. Starting small is better than not starting at all. So take it a step at a time and celebrate the little ‘wins’ and positives as you go along. Don’t rush it – this is a long-term, lifelong process, not a quick fix or makeover. Decluttering can radically change your life and lead to better, more sustainable habits and a new mindset.

Big challenges can be intimidating, so turn them into measurable goals – say, 30 minutes a day – and you’ll be blown away by how much you can achieve. Start to self-love and self-praise: tell yourself you’re doing your best. Then nothing is impossible.