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There’s a popular notion out there that the height of being a modern woman is to achieve the perfect balance between all of life’s big-bucket categories. We hear the idea “work/life balance” so often we don’t stop to recognize that the inherent insinuation in that phrase is that work is somehow separate from life or even the opposite of it. We keep hearing we can “have it all,” “do it all,” and “be it all”— and although none of us have ever personally experienced this balancing act first hand, maybe we keep repeating it, hoping if we say it enough times, we will summon the concept into existence.

But I believe the real mark of being a modern woman is to know that everything costs something…and then to confidently decide which costs we’re willing to pay — and which we aren’t.

When I first met Nicole Feliciano over breakfast in Los Angeles, she described this experience: “We have these burners all going at the same time…family, romance, career, friends…and we try so hard to keep them all going at once. But the reality is something always seems to be burning, but there are other things coming out perfectly.”

Maybe the truth is, we can have it all…just not all at once. And that’s good news. The life of a mother is filled with stages that demand imbalance — times when we need to turn up the heat on some areas in our life and turn it down in others in order to be the type of moms we want to be. Continuous balance in all areas is hardly ever what we really want.

Nicole went on, “At some point, each of those things is going to win and each one will lose. You have to embrace that you can only do a few things really well at one particular time.” An authentic voice of experience I could relate to.

I also have learned that being a mom and a businesswoman can have high costs. I spent my 20’s and 30’s in traditional career mode, first working on the floor of the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, then working in finance, and then traveling the world as a business consultant. Somewhere in there I managed to get married and have a daughter. My husband would pick me up from the airport each Friday and drop me back off every Sunday afternoon; I would kiss my sweet daughter in her car seat, and wave goodbye, giving the biggest smile I could muster, when really I felt sick to my stomach. I was not the mom I had always hoped to be.

And so I quit. I needed to be with my family. But not working wasn’t the answer. I felt there just had to be opportunities out there where a woman could have more control, making deliberate tradeoffs as it made sense for her family. Not finding what I was after in the marketplace, I became determined to create an opportunity for all the women who were just like me, feeling the immense tension and feelings of guilt that come with having to constantly choose career or family. Most women I knew wanted both, in varying degrees.

Motivated to create, I gathered with a group of friends from various backgrounds to create an opportunity where a woman could have her own business — totally on her own terms, her own schedule, and her own desired paycheck. But we didn’t want to create just any job — we wanted this opportunity to be something truly meaningful, that would fill up a woman’s heart, giving her the deep relational bonds that bring a unique richness to life. In partnership with a talented and established clothing designer, we created “cabi,” a company through which women could become fashion stylists, holding trunk shows with groups of friends, then working with each woman to help her discover her personal style and maximize her wardrobe.

Clothing is not only a product always in demand, but time spent with women developing authentic relationships is in high demand too in our increasingly frenetic world.

Over the last 15 years, we have experienced strong and steady growth — all because our Stylists have experienced the same as they live fulfilling lives as their own bosses. The moments my heart has most overflowed over the last decade and a half are when I hear women, often moms, share with me why their experience with cabi has transformed their life, bringing to it a quality they had no idea they so desperately needed. I hear from women who’d been working a corporate grind that kept them from being a part of their kids’ most important milestones, but then their income through cabi enabled them to quit and be the homeroom mom and the leader of the cheering section on the lacrosse field. I love the stories of moms who had made a decision to stay home with little ones, but found they had lost a part of themselves that they regained and elevated through running their own cabi businesses. Our 85% retention each season fills me with profound joy, because it’s evidence our business really works and the stories I hear over and over reinforce the profound liberation that can be had for a woman in charge of the heat under each of her burners.

Upon meeting Nicole, we were quickly on the same page with many common passions and draw-a-line-in-the-sand moments. We both had waded through our deep longings to bring our God-given brains and talents to a bigger arena, but also wanted to give our unfettered hearts and minds to those we love most. But we connected most deeply on our common desire not just to attain this for ourselves, but to help other women to do the same. This seems to be the space where life has yielded the most fulfillment for both of us.

Nicole’s story is readily seen as one of courage and tenacity. But, much deeper than that, hers is a story of discernment and integrity. And I think it’s actually pretty ironic that a woman devoted to trends would be so steadfast in not following so many of them. And thank goodness. As other bloggers seek to make themselves celebrities, Nicole seeks to make those she serves the heroes. When other media companies are willing to endorse anything when top dollar is offered, Nicole has turned down huge deals to stay true to her ideals. She knows what she believes and what she’s about. And she so graciously shares her wisdom and lessons of experience with others to their benefit.

Nicole, and by extension MomTrends, is that wise person you can’t get enough of in your life. She’s the friend who has the gift of bringing value, thoughtfulness, and realness. She has great taste and a commitment to quality, keeping the bar high for herself and others. She puts relationships first — in her business, at home, and with friends. She endeavors to be fully present wherever she is, eager to contribute the best of herself for the sake of others. Her audience — 100,000+ people strong — comes back regularly because she and her colleagues give them insights about the things that really matter to them.

So whether you’re trying to figure out how you could possibly become a Mom Boss with all the demands that encircle you, or if you’ve been dreaming from time to time and just looking for that last ounce of gumption to launch your own thing, or if you’ve ventured into the world of business building and been burned, you’re in good hands. Nicole will help you muster the confidence to try (or try again). She’ll give you all the right things to think about to get headed on the right path toward a life of calling your own shots. She’s not only lived and breathed the uncertainty of leaving the safety of a steady paycheck for the reward of forging your own way, but she also surrounds herself with women who have done the same. She senses the felt needs of the thousands of women who are part of the MomTrends community, making her a true authority on what the modern mom most deeply desires and how to get there.

Ready to have “work” and “life” no longer in opposition?

You’re in the right place.

Kimberly Inskeep

President of cabi