Читать книгу Mom Boss - Nicole Feliciano - Страница 9

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Here’s how it played out. Stephanie worked for luxury beauty brands for more than a decade. Being a dutiful Gen X feminist, Stephanie returned to work after her 6-month maternity leave (the last three months unpaid) for both baby number one and baby number two.


The scene with one child and work was pretty manageable. The second child stretched her resources thin. Stephanie skulked out of meetings to go pump breast milk in a dimly lit back office and stashed her bags of milk in the community fridge, before heading to the next meeting apologetically late.


She drafted emails to her team and CEO explaining her challenging schedule for the week: Monday she needed to visit a preschool for an interview at 3pm, and Thursday she needed to take her son to the pediatric ophthalmologist at 1:50pm (the only appointment available all month). She felt she had earned the right to be unavailable, but that didn’t make it any easier.


When Stephanie was blessed with her third child, she never returned after maternity leave. Juggling the third and having to start apologizing again for being the type of mom she wanted to be didn’t hold any appeal.


With some savings tucked away, she dropped out for a bit. Then, she had a niggling idea that there should be an in-home service for teaching moms how to prep homemade baby food. The idea was to develop a weeklong course that empowered women to create DIY baby food and stock the fridge with homemade goodness. After informal focus groups with her friends, she fine-tuned the idea and started a baby chef business plan. She could now work around her family’s schedule and market within her built-in network. Six months after launching, she had clients on a waitlist to use her service and a growing brand she loved.


This story is a conglomeration of three of my friends, and I bet it’ll sound really familiar to some of you. I bet you know a mom who’s done something similar and is living her dream, a dream she didn’t even know she had before the kids came along.


Kids have a funny way of changing your dreams. Prepping for your first child is such a strange practice. It’s all about cogitating variables with little or no information. It’s hard to say how you’ll feel after your baby arrives, or what kind of baby you’re going to get. For most of us, there’s a surge of love and protectiveness. We can’t imagine putting anyone else in charge. After waiting 30+ years to find the right person to start a family, or find the time and money to be a single mom, we want to fully embrace the experience.


But the reality of raising a family is that it’s expensive. Someone has to pay for diapers and doctor visits. So work we must. Millennial moms have the right idea. Stories of their unwillingness to compromise and take a job that’s okay instead of awesome are the first step to owning an incredible future. Gen X and Gen Y moms are catching up with this savvy crew, and adopting this attitude of “it has to work for me.”


We can all take a page from this approach to managing our post-kid careers with this attitude; sheepishly having to ask a boss or co-workers for permission to be a great mom stinks. In our hearts, we know we can give our family the best and still deliver a great presentation, or a fantastic sales plan. We just need options. The trouble is, most workplaces aren’t structured for motherhood.


The good news is you can create a career that works for you. That’s what being a Mom Boss is all about; it all starts with getting out your stroller and heading to the playground.


Playgrounds are ripe with promise and networking opportunities. That’s where I hatched my business plans and started to dream big about my future company. With one eye on my daughter’s progress digging and re-digging trenches in a sand pit, my mind wandered to what was next. Finding work that allowed me to be incredibly engaged with my family and financially successful… that was my end goal. It wasn’t a company or brand I longed to work for, it was myself.


I’m lucky to live in a city that supports female start-ups. In New York City, 21 percent of all start-ups are women-run. That’s well ahead of the national average *3. Zoom in even more on Google maps to my borough in NYC, and things get even more interesting. Brooklyn is blessed with the highest percentage of female CEOs in the nation. Where I live, 28 percent of start-ups are female-led. No wonder I love Brooklyn so much!


When I settled in to Brooklyn over a decade ago, it had an indie vibe to it; the parents I met wanted to do things on their own terms. All this energy of acceptance and possibility rubbed off on me. At first, I thought it was just a Brooklyn thing. Visit any Brooklyn playground and you’re likely to be surrounded by women who are passionate about raising children (I know the sitcoms sure like to make fun of our earnest efforts to recycle and raise self-advocating kids!). The Brooklyn parks also happen to be populated with talented, educated, savvy businesswomen brimming with possibility.


Living where I do, surrounded by female awesomeness and risk-takers, at first I felt like I was in a little bubble. I thought the self-selecting group of moms in my tribe was rare. Our neighborhood seemed to be full of women who were drawn to Brooklyn’s slightly less Type-A feel. The focus wasn’t so much on accumulating wealth and status, as it was on carving out an authentically happy life. Why are we in a playground and not a boardroom or corner office? My peers are unwilling to compromise family for the traditional trappings of success and how families should operate.


Turns out it’s not just a Brooklyn thing and it’s not just an NYC thing. As I started to get deeper into the digital community and my network expanded, I identified Mom Bosses everywhere. Mom Boss hotbeds are popping up in Utah, Silicon Valley, and Washington D.C. — all hubs of creative energy and mom entrepreneurs. The movement is spreading, and it’s time to share the secret sauce —time to encourage more women to take the leap.


The more I talk to women and interact with them on my social media accounts, the more I hear the cries of, “I want this too!” Moms across the country, and around the world, are conflicted and constrained by work/life issues.


MBAs, JDs, women who managed millions of dollars in sales or hundreds of employees, continue to step off a traditional career path to raise a family. Sure, modern parents are figuring out ways to split the workload and shift our priorities, but let’s be realistic: while modern parenting is certainly becoming more equitable, women still are far and away the primary caregivers when it comes to raising kids. And that’s not even taking into account all the single mothers who don’t even have an option of picking who stays home to watch baby, and who gets to work. They have to pick BOTH.


The pressure to work and raise children isn’t just about answering the question of who’s the lead parent. It’s also a question of whose career can take a hit. Many of my peers decided that since they were on a path to have multiple kids, the on-again off-again schedule of pregnancy and maternity leave left them feeling like there wasn’t a path for them.


Less than 5 percent of women hold Fortune 500 CEO roles*1. Things aren’t any better in the ranks of top law firms. Raise your hand if you worked at one of these places and are surprised.


Anyone? Anyone? No, I didn’t think so. If you’re a mom, you likely know why: Asking for permission to breastfeed, or to attend a pre-school interview, or an appointment with one of the multitude of specialists children need to see is degrading and disheartening. Mom Bosses don’t ask for time off, they know they’ve earned it. Reclaiming how and where you spend your precious time is an incredible gift.


LeanIn.org tells us 43 percent of highly qualified women with children are leaving careers or off-ramping for a period of time.*2 I bow to the 57 percent of my friends who are doing it all in a structured environment — Momtrends was started to support them. We develop content for women without the time and energy to stay up to speed on the latest trends. Momtrends.com is predominantly read by working moms. Our team strives to curate the best of the best for them. I want my sisters busting the glass ceiling to succeed as much as anyone else. Here’s to systemic change for women! In the meantime, I want to make sure that talented moms know they’ve got options.


Mom Boss life is for the 43 percent of women who are like me. They are smart, qualified, and ready to work hard. If companies won’t change, the women running them will. We know that women are incredibly adept at change. Show me any woman with young kids, and I’ll show you someone that knows how to handle a curveball! Heck, we can change our bodies into baby-carrying vessels, a new job is nothing!


Plan A is change the system. More power to the women doing that. Plan B is make a new system. That’s where Mom Bosses are placing bets.


“When opportunity doesn’t present

itself, it’s time to make your own luck.”


Why the rise of the Mom Boss? Because businesses aren’t changing quickly enough. Moms are taking their talents and finding a new playing field; a field where merit and smarts matter more than office politics and posturing.


Turns out we’re really good at being bosses. We’ve always been amazing at building communities, support networks, and, of course, families.


It’s no surprise we’re also good at running businesses. We share, build, create, and work really, really hard.


Don’t fear the unknown too much. We’ve got this. We already know how to build a network, prioritize, and set goals. Look at what we’ve already achieved. In addition to growing babies, we care for sick relatives, manage the house, and somehow find time to keep up on the latest tech. In my house, I’m the head of IT as well as the “cruise director” when it comes to our social lives. I know my girls’ BFFs and make sure our house rarely runs out of toilet paper.


In essence, every new mom is already running a start-up corporation.


Think about all the new things we had to learn and set up after the baby arrived. Each week demanded we master a new skill set. As a new mom, failure was NOT an option. Don’t say you can’t handle HR if you’ve already managed to find a good pediatrician that can always squeeze you in for a reoccurring ear infection, or scored a reliable baby sitter who also cleans up after she serves the kids dinner.


We’ve also figured out how to master budgeting and time management. The worries of a start-up are insignificant hurdles in the face of everything we’ve already learned to do well. Congratulations! As a mom, you’ve already successfully created your first start-up. Being a Mom Boss won’t be much different.


And there’s more good news. This book is full of examples of women who are blazing paths that work with raising kids. While being self-employed isn’t for everyone, it’s an increasingly appealing option. It all felt anecdotal when I started thinking about this book. I knew lots of women in the social media space who started blogs a decade ago to earn a little money and get the creative juices flowing. These blogs turned into media corporations and million-dollar businesses like mine. As I started networking, all different types of Mom Bosses presented themselves. From Etsy shops, to at-home sales representatives, to accountants, I kept meeting inspiring moms working towards their dreams while raising families.


These Mom Bosses don’t have to ask for permission to coach a soccer league, run a Girl Scout troop, or drive to a band practice.


Ladies, it’s time to make your own schedule and your own rules. Is the time right for you?


Maybe you’ve got a burning desire to finally bring an invention to life. Or maybe you want to put your sales acumen to work from home so you don’t have to suffer through one more week of your commute. Maybe you have a child with special needs and simply can’t get into being in an office any more. For all these reasons and a million more, Mom Boss life is beckoning. Get ready for the ride!


Warning: You’ll be head of IT, HR, and maintenance. The buck stops with you. As I’m writing this, I’m sitting on a stressful cash crunch. A few of our accounts are overdue by three months. Collection calls and emails are just part of the job. But here’s the thing: I’m writing and emailing from a ski lodge in New Hampshire. I was able to leave my Brooklyn office for five days to take my daughter to an East Coast alpine championship ski race. No one had to give me permission to take time off.


As I tucked my pint-sized skier into bed the night before the race, she gave me a huge hug and said, “You’re the best mommy ever, thank you so, so, so much for taking me here. My heart is full. I love you, mommy.” Cue the tears. Those moments when you melt, you just know the sacrifices are worth it all. I can be a CEO and I can be a “Ski Mom.” I’m most definitely a Mom Boss.

Mom Boss

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