Читать книгу With My Body - Nikki Gemmell - Страница 22

If we do not advance, we retrograde

What you learn, in that tiny lane, in that van, in the darkness seared with light: that feeling, memory, sensation, vividness, can come flooding back. All it takes is the tenderness in a touch. After so long.

You pull away at the shock. Mel laughs softly.

‘You know, sleeping with a woman can be like discovering sex all over again’ – a fingertip slips gently down your cheek, your neck – ‘because we know what works’ – the finger teases – ‘and where.’

You pause. So vulnerable now to touch, kindness, attention of any sort. You shake your head, reach for the door handle, breathe your thanks – the kids, you have to get back. You stumble out.

‘See you at the quiz night.’ Mel smiles a secret smile, starting the van. ‘Or maybe not.’

Striding back, wondrous, tall, through the glittering alive achingly beautiful frost.

Like discovering sex all over again …

It has been so long. So many years, lives, places ago. So many harangued nights of sleeplessness and collapsings into beds without even saying good night to your husband because you’re too tired and too annoyed by some minor irritation like his flossing and his pyjamas pulled up high and his noisy blowing of his nose and anyway he’s already on the way to falling asleep on the couch, in front of the telly, because that is what he always does now, in the shrouded rhythm of your married life.