Читать книгу The Open Affair - Patsy Ponce - Страница 6

FOUR

They walked toward Boehme, where their cars were parked just across the street. Near an eroding building, the two of them sat on a bench so they could sober up and eventually make their separate drives home.

Lindsay cried for a long time. Thane reached out and placed his hand on her shoulder, but she ignored him, lost in grief and worry. They didn’t say much and, after quite a while, when it seemed the sun might come up soon, Lindsay felt the effects of alcohol leave her like a bad spirit.

“I’m going to call and tell him. It won’t be pretty,” she said. “And I’m worried I’ll lose him.”

Thane shook his head. “I am so sorry about this. I didn’t mean to.... I hate seeing you hurting like this. But the two of you aren’t happy together. Don’t you hear half of the stuff you say about him every day at work?” She didn’t respond, so he kept talking. “You’re probably about to go through some hard times, but it will be for the best.”

“I need to talk to Logan.”

“And I might need to talk with someone too. Lindsay, you and Kenzie are my only friends. She’s the only other person I can talk to.”

Lindsay’s eyes grew wide. “But she’s our coworker.” Lindsay’s heart beat so quickly worrying what could happen to her job if news about the kiss got to Casey.

Something flashed across Thane’s eyes, but Lindsay couldn’t quite decipher it. “I need to go,” she said heatedly, jumped into her car and drove toward the freeway.

Before merging onto the freeway headed south, Lindsay pulled over to yet another field lining the road. As she stared blankly, the line rang and rang.

“Hello?” Logan finally said, groggily.

Lindsay cried uncontrollably then, body-racking sobs.

“Lindsay!” He immediately woke up. “Lindsay, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“I’ve done something terrible,” she said.

“Did you...cheat on me?” he asked.

“I.... I.... Yes. I kissed someone else.”

“Oh. Well....” he sounded stunned. “Just come home so we can talk about this. Where are you?”

“A half-hour away,” she said.

“See you soon. Just drive safe.”

Tears ran down Lindsay’s cheeks as she thought about her reckless actions even though Logan had seemed to take it well on the phone.

But when she got home, Lindsay realized his reaction had either been an act—or pure shock. Face strained, veins bulging, his rage shook her to the core.

“I know I deserve this, but...” She shivered in fear. The moment reminded her of a terrible scene with a previous boyfriend, Ben. She willed herself not to remember those things now; she couldn’t afford a breakdown when this was her fault. She deserved this reaction and she needed to be honest and strong if she wanted to keep Logan.

“But what!” He fumed. “You fucked him, didn’t you? And that executive—Kenzie—fucked him too!” He stomped around. “But you, you probably fucked half the fucking town! I bet they were falling over themselves to each get a piece of you when they heard what a whore you are.”

Lindsay crumpled to the floor. “You’re right.” She shook. “I’m a piece of shit and I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me.” And she meant it; as she thought of the worst people in the world, Lindsay named herself among them. “I’ve never done anything like this before, I swear.”

“Do you love him?”

She paused and he nearly screamed, so irrationally angry in that moment.

“Do. You. Love him?! How long has this been going on?” Suddenly they heard his ringtone. “There’s my phone,” he pointed to his Samsung which had just lit up beside him.

“Who’s calling you at this time?”

“Just Thane,” Logan said. “I’ll find out what you really did.” He took his phone outside.

After slowly opening the bathroom window, Lindsay could hear bits and pieces of the conversation. “Did you fuck my girl?” Logan’s voice boomed in the darkness so loud the elderly neighbors could probably hear. After he came back inside, Logan grabbed a bag from the closet and haphazardly shoved clothes inside.

“Where are you going?” Lindsay bawled.

“Away from here,” Logan said and went out the door without a backward glance.

***

The next few days at work, Thane didn’t look well at all; in fact, he looked the way Lindsay felt. They hardly talked, even though their job was to work in tandem. Fortunately, they’d learned to build projects together so seamlessly that words were unnecessary. Casey, the regional manager, had flown out to audit them again, but seeing the flawless workflow, congratulated herself on “bringing another team together” and left for her home state. “This branch is in good hands,” she told Lindsay, Thane and Kenzie. “It looks great.”

Weeks passed and Logan moved back into the house, but with conditions; he’d have a phone connected to Lindsay’s, this would track her every call, text and location. He also demanded that she quit her job. “Our furniture company has taken off. We can both quit our day jobs and work on this together…at home. You add the final touches, we’ll work on designs together and I’ll build the projects.”

She didn’t want to quit her day job though, even if it was awkward and somehow sterile in the office. If she quit, the site could topple easily, leaving both Thane and Kenzie without jobs. Regardless, her relationship with Logan was on life-support and she wanted to fix things, so she composed a resignation letter and was just about to hit send when Thane burst into her office. “I need to talk with you,” he said. “Can you get off early and come to my house for a minute so we can talk without Kenzie hearing us?”

“Thane, you know I can’t. I’m trying to work on my relationship with Logan. Being alone with you is the last thing I need.”

His eyes grew sad as he stared at her. “Lindsay, I know that and I’d never normally ask, especially after everything that happened, but I’m having a rough time. I need a friend right now and I feel like you’re the only person who I can really talk to. I never talked to Kenzie. I need someone to talk to.”

He looked a bit desperate and she wondered what was going on. “Okay, Thane,” Lindsay conceded. “But I’ll need to leave my phone here because I’m being tracked. And honestly, I want to forget the kiss ever happened. We’re only friends.”

“I understand.”

The two were able to get off a little early and Kenzie raised a brow as both Lindsay and Thane left quite early, around the same time.

Lindsay had never been to his house, yet wasn’t too surprised after seeing the luxury within because Kenzie had talked about it on several occasions. Trying not to question why Kenzie knew so much, Lindsay realized her coworker had been exceedingly accurate when describing Thane’s furniture as well as his ragdoll cat. The fireplace and arched hallways stretched exquisitely, and she gaped over some of the better pieces of artwork.

After Thane poured them both a glass of wine, he handed Lindsay a long-stem glass. “The last time I drank around you, I got in trouble.” She immediately placed her glass on an end-table near her.

After a moment of silence, her head rested against the couch as she stared at the ceiling. Thane did the same, but when they both turned to look at each other, their heads moved surprisingly close. She could see again into those deep, brown eyes and didn’t want to leave.

“These emotions won’t go away, but this whole thing feels wrong.” She exhaled, so sad. “Thane, I’ve fallen for you.”

“I’ve fallen for you, too. That’s why I need to tell you that I can’t work with you anymore at Boehme. I respect you and your relationship with Logan. It’s too hard seeing you every day, always wanting more and knowing I can’t have you. I’ve accepted another job, making a lot more money and working from home. It will be really good for me.”

“But...how can I run the company without you. You know things are so bad. They won’t let me hire anyone else. There’s already too much work. I’ve heard another company in town is just waiting for us to go under so they can take over. Kenzie and I can’t do all this alone. And Boehme’s corporate team is coming out for that vendor party soon. You were helping us plan it.” Although the site wasn’t making a vast amount of revenue, it had the lowest overhead costs. Realizing this, the corporate office had decided to give the employees and local vendors a party after conducting an audit to see how so few employees could accomplish so much.

“I’m sorry,” Thane said, “but I just can’t anymore. You’ll have to figure it out.”

Suddenly, Lindsay thought about truly losing Thane: No longer seeing him walk into the office. Not getting to joke with him or watch him act annoyed. Not getting to see him at all.

And as she looked back into his eyes, she thought of everything she did and didn’t know about him. She knew what his lips felt like pressed longingly against hers, but there was so much more. He put his head in his hands, and she didn't mean to, but her eyes began wandering as she thought about him fully. There was so much she could do to make him feel better….

She remembered then that she’d worn a matching red bra and underwear set. The lace sections showed off her creamy white skin and brought out her eyes in a way that she loved.

Lindsay glanced around the room, fantasizing about how she could drive this man crazy if she wanted to and get both of their minds off work, dying relationships, and all the sad things that had taken root in their lives.

It would be incredibly fun to slowly strip in front of Thane, watching his eyes as she untucked her button-up shirt and slid off her pants so her cloth top dangled, barely covering her lace underwear. Of course, she’d put her high heels back on. What fun would it be without heels?

Then, she’d scandalously unbutton her shirt, until her bra peeked out. And Lindsay would finally show him everything...her breasts, her flat stomach, her tiny red underwear.

If she did take her shirt off, the bra would be next, but she’d only give him a glimpse of her breasts before sauntering over to his kitchen table and leaning across it, ass up...back arched.

She’d make sure he watched as she stretched, then seductively licked her first and middle fingers.

“I want you,” she’d whisper so quietly he’d wonder if he heard her right.

Back still arched, she’d separate her legs and place her hand between them before outlining the edge of her underwear, starting near her ass crack and descending forward. She’d desperately want to pull her panties aside, so she could share with him, all of her forbidden parts, but it wasn’t time yet. And like a game of cat and mouse, she hoped he’d finally fall into her carefully laid trap where she’d drive him so crazy with desire, he couldn’t think of anything else except forcing himself between her legs.

Soon he’d be next to her. She’d guide his hand, having him trace her just as she’d done to herself moments before. Then the red panties would be pulled to the side and she’d beg him to feel her...taste her.

He’d venture in with one finger at first, gently. Then two....

And after a second she’d grab his wrist and pull him so hard into her, rocking against him, moaning, biting her lips and asking him to push hard, feeling deep inside her as she nearly screamed with ecstasy from the pressure and the longing...and the fact that something hard bulged beneath his jeans.

“Taste me? Please?” She’d whimper, willing him to kneel down and bury himself between her legs.

“What are you thinking?” Thane asked, starkly bringing her from her reverie.

“Oh.” She blinked from her thoughts. “I was just thinking about how...crazy...all of this is.”

“It is crazy. I never knew I could feel so sad,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“My heart physically hurts. I’ve just been depressed I guess. I don’t normally feel sad, even when I should. But this is hard.”

“I’ve been there,” Lindsay said. “Years ago, something devastating happened with a man I dated. Then with me and Logan. It brought back bad memories from the past. I was even…suicidal at one point. I think a lot of people have been there, but they don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’ve never been suicidal,” Thane said.

She let out an embarrassed breath. “Well, that’s good.”

“I don’t think many people have been suicidal. I hope you got help?”

“I did. I don’t know, what was going on, but I’m better now.”

“You know, Lindsay, it is scary to get depressed. If someone has a mental illness, they’d be the last one to know.”

He said it so strangely. “Yeah…yeah, right.” She shook herself, wondering if he meant something deeper by saying that. “I’m really, really going to miss you, Thane. But I do think what you’re doing is for the best. Like I said, I’m trying to work on my relationship. I don’t think that will work if I’m around you all the time.” And considering what she’d imagined—moments before—she knew she couldn’t be around Thane much longer without acting on her impulses.

Lindsay stood up, looked down at Thane sadly and then left his beautiful home.