Читать книгу The Art of Waging Peace - Paul K. Chappell - Страница 18

Every culture has different standards of respect. For example, in the military and many Asian cultures, being late is extremely rude, and showing up early is a sign of respect. In the army I heard a saying, “If you’re early you’re on time. If you’re on time you’re late.” Since living in California, I have noticed that many people here do not consider it rude to show up a few minutes late. If someone is used to being late, their tardiness might greatly offend someone who served in the military or grew up in an Asian culture. Since respect varies from culture to culture, how can we prevent unintended incidents of disrespect?

Realizing how dangerous disrespect can be, becoming skilled at giving respect is one of the most effective and essential methods of waging peace. There are two important steps for maximizing the respect we give to others. The first is to not be ignorant of their culture and make an effort to educate ourselves about their social customs. To quote the old adage, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” This means that when you are visiting another culture, it is important to be aware of their social customs and abide by their traditions when it is appropriate.

For example, in the army I was given cultural awareness classes about how to interact with people in the Middle East. I was taught to never show them the bottom of my shoes, never shake with my left hand, and always take off my sunglasses when speaking with people. The army taught me that in the Middle East it is rude to talk to someone while our eyes are covered, because so much of our humanity and trustworthiness is expressed through our eyes. In fact, we actually smile with our eyes, not just our mouth. A genuine smile occurs when the muscles around our eyes flex; if a person’s mouth smiles while the muscles around their eyes remain still it is a clear sign of a fake smile.

The second step is to practice the three elements of universal respect. The three elements transcend cultures and convey respect in any society. Furthermore, they do not honor people because of their status, but instead give everyone basic human respect, from the richest king to the poorest peasant.

Figure 3.1 How to Maximize Respect