Читать книгу The Art of Waging Peace - Paul K. Chappell - Страница 21

West Point taught me that one of the most powerful leadership principles is leading by example. What does it mean to lead by example? In his book Legacy of Love, Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi, tells a story about his grandfather that illustrates what it means to lead by example:

I became friends with a boy named Anil, who was my age. Anil had a weakness for sweets that verged on obsession. He consumed more than was good for him. One day he became ill, and his parents took him to the doctor. The doctor’s advice was that Anil must drastically reduce the amount of sweets that he consumed. Anil’s parents tried to enforce the doctor’s orders . . . Both parents would nag Anil about not eating sweets while they themselves continued to eat sweets every day. Several weeks went by and the parents found that Anil was continuing to eat sweets when no one was looking. They brought him to Grandfather [Mahatma Gandhi] with an appeal to drum some sense into him.

“Anil will not listen to us,” his mother told Grandfather. “The doctor has said he should not eat any sweets, but he still consumes them on the sly. He refuses to obey us. Please speak to him.”

Grandfather heard the complaint patiently, and just as patiently told Anil’s mother, “Come back with Anil after fifteen days.”

Anil’s mother was perplexed. All she believed Grandfather had to do was tell the boy not to eat sweets. They were bad for him. Why did she have to wait for fifteen days? She could not fathom this, but she was not prepared to argue with Grandfather.

On the fifteenth day she returned. Grandfather took Anil aside and whispered into his ear. Anil’s eyes sparkled. Grandfather asked him for a high five to seal their private deal, and they left.

Anil’s mother had no idea what had transpired, but she was skeptical. A few days later both parents came back to Grandfather utterly amazed and asked him, “How could Anil obey you so readily, and not us? Tell us the secret.”

Grandfather explained, “It was no miracle. I asked you to come back after fifteen days because I had to first give up eating sweets before I could ask him to do so. I simply told Anil that I had not eaten sweets for fifteen days, and that I would not eat any until the doctor allowed Anil to eat sweets.”

It was a simple lesson in the power of correcting by example, but how many of us practice this? We are quick to use our authority or superior physical strength to force others to do what we want them to do, and as a result, even if we are obeyed, we have not effected the kind of change that makes our lessons permanent.⁶

Hypocrisy occurs when we do not practice what we preach. Recognizing how dangerous hypocrisy is to the health of any military unit, the army encourages its soldiers to “lead by example.” The army’s Drill Sergeant Creed states: “I will lead by example, never requiring a soldier to attempt any task I would not do myself.” By not asking Anil to stop eating sweets unless he did so first, Gandhi led by example.

Not only do Gandhi and the army both condemn hypocrisy. So did Jesus, saying, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”⁷

If a person you admire who has enormous integrity gives you advice on being honest, it can be accepted with a feeling of mutual respect. But if a dishonest person lectures you on honesty it comes across as disrespectful and can make your temper boil. Few things make us angrier than hypocrisy. That is why being respectful not only involves listening and speaking to someone’s potential, but also looking at our own behavior to ensure we are not being hypocritical. We can listen and speak to someone’s potential all day long, but our words will sound disrespectful if we don’t first practice what we preach.

The army taught me that respect is my shield. No matter how disrespectful someone is to me, responding in a respectful way serves as a shield by allowing me to maintain my moral authority. As soon as I become disrespectful I lose my moral authority, which is my true power base as a leader. To support this idea, the army taught me that the best leaders seldom have to rely on rank, because the moral authority they gain through giving respect and leading by example is so strong that many soldiers will follow them out of admiration. Gandhi showed how influential moral authority can be. He led 390 million people on the path to freedom, yet he was not a general or a president and had no official power. Martin Luther King Jr. said this was one of the most significant things that ever happened in world history.

I call respect the infinite shield, because it not only protects us but everyone around us. It prevents dangerous situations from escalating and serves as a first line of defense against violence. Another reason I use the word “infinite” to describe the shield of respect is because we cannot truly measure where it ends. It can extend beyond our local community. It can even extend far into the future. A husband and wife who treat each other with respect will make a positive impression on their children, passing the shield of respect on to future generations. Like the ripples that emanate from a pebble dropped in a pond, the respect we give to others ripples out into the world and through the ocean of time.

The infinite shield is only the first line of defense. It is not impenetrable and can be breached, as it was when King was assassinated. Accordingly, we must have a second, third, and even fourth line of defense as backups when people break through the infinite shield. Before I describe the other lines of defense later in this book, let us not underestimate the power of the infinite shield as a first line of defense. When we bring the infinite shield into any room we create a safer environment for everyone in that room. The more people around the world who embrace the infinite shield, the safer our world will be.

Although King was assassinated, I and countless others have better lives today because he respected the white people who opposed him. By embracing the infinite shield, he helped prevent a race war that nearly erupted as tensions mounted during the civil rights era. While imprisoned in a Birmingham, Alabama, jail for conducting a peaceful protest in 1963, he wrote: “If this [peaceful] philosophy had not emerged, by now many streets of the South would, I am convinced, be flowing with blood . . . If [African Americans’] repressed emotions are not released in nonviolent ways, they will seek expression through violence; this is not a threat but a fact of history. So I have not said to my people: ‘Get rid of your discontent.’ Rather, I have tried to say that this normal and healthy discontent can be channeled into the creative outlet of nonviolent direct action.”⁸

Respect is an infinite shield that can help us protect ourselves and those around us. As I will discuss later in this book, the infinite shield can also help us protect our country and planet in the twenty-first century. When we learn how to wield the infinite shield with the skill of a peace warrior, however, it offers more benefits than just protection. The ability to convey respect improves our relationships with other people, and it unlocks many of our human powers such as empathy, love, and calm.