Читать книгу The Most Important Question - Peep Vain - Страница 13

For me, the issue of figuring out what I really wanted presented itself in a rather serious and meaningful way several years ago. I thought I wanted to study psychology and maybe get a PhD. Being an introspective guy, I asked myself: Peep, do you really want a PhD? Hell yes, came the answer, I wanted that PhD. I thought of how fancy and profound I would look with those three letters appearing behind my name on the cover of this book or next to my smiling face on my CDs. Peep Vain, PhD. Of course, I had no clue what it meant to get a PhD. I didn’t even know how long it took. I knew you had to do research. Write a paper. How hard could it be? And of course I was not thinking of just any PhD. I was thinking of a PhD from one of the best universities in the world. If I were to do it, I might as well do it big time.

The truth is, I wasn’t even sure what kind of psychology I wanted to study. I was pretty sure I wanted to go back to school. But the idea of a full-blown graduate program felt kind of daunting. Also, I honestly could not imagine myself being away from my family and business for even a year. And I was not so naive to think that a PhD takes only a year.

In addition to that (and luckily for me), the gods presented a barrier that slowed me down and made me think even more: a top-notch education abroad costs a small fortune. Since money is something I tend to think about, I started to examine my desire in an economic context. The idea of paying tens of thousands of euros each year (not to mention the opportunity cost of not working) to get a PhD forced me to do some investigation. What is the PhD actually all about? What kind of effort does it involve? Must I be present all the time? Does a top school necessarily make sense for me? Do I even care about psychology?

My friend, a leading psychotherapist in Estonia (a PhD, by the way), had come to know a gentleman by the name of Manfred Kets de Vries. Being one of the very few in the world who successfully merges the psychoanalytic approach with business and leadership, he was also a respected professor at INSEAD in France and one of the most prolific writers in his field in the world.

Professor Kets de Vries has a PhD and many other letters after his name. And I always want to meet, get to know and have a meaningful conversation with people who are the most successful in my field. So who better to ask than him?

Under the pretense of me getting a PhD, my friend called him. And, surprise, surprise, the professor did not say, “Tell Peep to pick up a few beers and come right on over to talk to me.” He suggested that I attend his INSEAD Executive Masters psychology program called Consulting and Coaching for Change.

My ego was a little bit hurt that Professor Manfred F. R. Kets de Vries, PhD, was not immediately available to receive Peep Vain, B.Sc., for a heart-to-heart discussion about the benefits of higher education. Also, his program cost a small fortune and took a year and half to complete. My immediate reaction was, of course, to say forget about it. I just wanted to have a conversation.

But then, with my ego deflated a little bit, I started to read about his program. It wasn’t a PhD, but it might be a step toward one, if that’s what I really wanted. And it was in fact really interesting. And it could serve as way to determine how much I actually would enjoy being in an academic environment again.

One requirement to be considered for admission was an on-site interview. With lots of curiosity but no real serious intent, I flew to Fontainebleau, France. To my surprise, I ended up having a very meaningful interview with one of the program directors. The interview had two outcomes. First, I actually wanted to attend the program. Second, I understood that a PhD was probably not my true desire. I wanted to accumulate a certain amount of knowledge that would be practical to me both personally and professionally. But I did not want to pay such a high price (in time, effort and money) for a process that I probably would not enjoy much for the reward of three ego-boosting letters behind my name.

Still, that year I decided to not attend INSEAD. But the next year I enrolled and ended up completing the coursework at the end of 2006. During that time I had many meaningful conversations with Manfred and other great minds. And the more I thought about it, the clearer it became that I did not want – and did not need – a PhD.

We often do not know what we want. We often do not understand the need behind the want. And we are often too busy to think about the subject altogether. Let me say also that I do hope you are able to discover what you truly want and need for a lot less than the cost of trip to France, not to mention the cost of a PhD.