Читать книгу The Most Important Question - Peep Vain - Страница 18

What if it’s been so long you don’t even know what to dream about?

For the two categories of people who don’t dream – those beaten down by years of being denied their dreams, and those so super-successful that there’s nothing left to want – let me introduce an exercise that can help. I call it the Wheel of Life. It’s a wheel, because it is supposed to be round – it’s supposed to roll smoothly when our life is well balanced. But most of us won’t have wheels of life that are neatly round. So when you get (as you probably often do) into the fast lane of life, the unbalanced wheel gives you a real bumpy ride. Also, beware that a major deficit in any one area of life can and will eventually break the whole wheel.

Imagine four axes. Self to the north and Material side of life to the south. East is Relationships with others and west is Work life.

I’m going to ask you to rate your subjective levels of satisfaction on a one to ten scale for each of these areas. When giving yourself a score, consider the state of affairs in each area of your life. How satisfied or happy are you?

Self means your physical health, your fitness, your mind, your hobbies and time just for yourself. It also means your relationship with yourself. On a deeper level, it relates to your emotions, subconscious thoughts, your self-concept. Going even deeper it has to do with the spiritual side of life, your soul, your light. So ask yourself – how satisfied am I with myself, on a scale of one to ten? And do not give yourself an easy eight, nine or ten – be honest, rather conservative and quite demanding. In order to help you pick a score, here are some questions:

Are you healthy all the time? Or are you often sick? Are you in the best shape of your life? Or are you a slug or a couch potato? Is your mind quick and agile? Or does it feel foggy, and you find it difficult to concentrate? Do you have some hobbies or ways to spend your leisure time you find fulfilling? Or do you spend hours watching bad reality television or staring at the computer screen – regardless of whether you read Facebook entries of semistrangers, watch YouTube videos, or play computer games? How much do you like yourself, really? How high is your self-esteem?

The Material side of life can make life much less stressful and can also make you worry. Do you have no financial worries whatsoever? Or can you hardly make both ends meet? Do you make enough, compared to the standard you set for yourself? At the end of the year, after all the necessary and sinful expenses, is there much left? How about your investments? Are they profitable? Or have you not even made or thought about investments? Do you have too many unnecessary things? Or do you have no things at all? Do you give generously? Or do you think only of yourself?

How far are you from your ideal in that area of life – The Material side of life, as we labeled it?

Relationships with others means the presence or absence of your human relationships and the quality of the existing ones. Is there a significant other in your life? How are things with your spouse? Do you laugh together a lot? Do you argue too much? How about your children? If you have kids, are you friends with them? Or do you find it often too difficult to relate to them? Or if you have no kids, do you wish you did? How are your relations with your parents? Or friends? Do you see or talk to them often enough? Or are you already beginning to forget their faces? How satisfied are you with your relationships on a scale from one to ten?

Work life means your job, vocation or business. Is what you’re doing now really for you, your true calling? Or are you just marking time and picking up a paycheck? How good are you at what you do? Do you achieve most of your work goals? Half of them? None? Do you like the team you work with, or do most of your colleagues irritate you?

Imagine that ten is ideal for each of these categories. As good as you could imagine it. Zero is the worst extreme. When you’ve drawn two intersecting axes, let zero be where they intersect. Ten is some point equidistant from the intersection along each of the four rays.

As an example, let’s say you are pretty happy with Self and you give yourself eight points out of ten. Your Work life is good (despite the fact that you dislike many of your colleagues) and you give yourself a seven. Material side of life is okay, but not great – a six. But Relationships with Others seem to suffer. You spend very little time with people who mean most to you. You give yourself a three. Then your Wheel of Life isn’t going to look much like a wheel. It will resemble a loaf of homemade bread. And it won’t roll very well when you attach it to your wagon. Your mission is to expand that flat area – a target area for dreaming – and make your wheel round. A life of balance is a life that is good.

If all four dimensions are only average, then my guess is that your Wheel of Life may generally roll pretty smoothly. At least it is round and balanced. However, maybe your level of joy and satisfaction is way below what really satisfies you. And if you happen to run into a pothole with this small wheel, it will really feel shaky. In this case your mission will be to grow each segment in a balanced fashion.