Читать книгу Poems And Rhymes Exploring Animals, Politics, Soldiers, Faith, Love, Addiction And Insanity - Perry BSL Ritthaler - Страница 13

I see the battle scars on my old brown cat’s face

The scars remind me of my own life feeling out of place

My brain feels tattered and torn as I live my life in this rat race

Fighting with anyone who makes me feel out of place

I find it hard to smile or even be happy at this time

I live lost in my mind and my happiness is an uphill climb

I am slowly going into more depression falling downward into my dark mind

When I look into the mirror on the wall the picture I see is not kind

I look wrinkled and old, sad perhaps and most days mad

My once beautiful life has turned into a dark cloud making me sad

I hear intelligent words created by special voices in my head

Telling me I am better off alone and will find peace when I am dead

The voices in my head have become the only friends I have today

My doctor tells me I am sick and I am becoming my mind’s prey

I have two brains speaking and at times they feel tied together by a chain

I long for the peaceful feelings in my head and to no longer fight my brain

I have so much anger and love for the voice talking in my head

I am not sure how to think when I feel lonely and mentally half-dead

When I knock on heaven’s door to die the voices will die with me

So I have started to plan this peaceful day and soon will be free

From smoking marijuana every day my mind has become the prey

I wonder if I will ever be straight without voices and feel ok

My voices tell me I will feel better if I keep smoking the weed

I feel shattered and vulnerable and think medication is what I need

I used to be so smart with a memory like a steel trap

Now I cannot even remember where I laid my baseball cap

For years I have smoked marijuana and poisoned my brain

No wonder inside my mind I feel like a runaway crashing train

When I think about all the money for weed I spent

Feeding my habit just too mentally feel good and vent

I am tasting insanity in my mind and barely able to pay my rent

As I reflect I understand why I need help after reading the message this poem sent