Читать книгу Before We Say Goodbye: Preparing for a Good Death - Ray Simpson - Страница 31

By being present to a loved one who is dying, we are making ourselves familiar with a journey that we, too, will one day make. Sometimes relatives or friends refuse to accept that their loved one is dying, so they don’t talk about it. This means that the dying person is denied the chance to share what they are really feeling. It is a terrible letdown.

We should not tell a dying person what they do not wish to be told, but we can draw out from them what they are feeling, we can recall past experiences, and we can thank them for their friendship.

Farewells can be said in ways other than words. We can hold someone’s hand, stroke their brow, or even ask to wash their body. It is important to be comfortable. For some people, singing old favourites helps to relax them and reminds them of being sung to as a child.

What if you can’t be there at the time of the death or the funeral? You could do any of these things:

• Light a candle.

• Look at a photo and cry or talk to the one you love.

• Write a message on a card.

• Recall stories.

• Say your own prayers.

Some people treat Jesus as a mediator between the person who remains on earth and their loved one who has died. They pour out everything to Jesus and ask him to communicate to the deceased whatever is best for them.

Say goodbye in good time. If possible, don’t leave it until the power of speech or thought recedes. This allows us to be beside loved ones, enjoying the satisfaction of having said what is in our hearts for them. Is this not what we will one day wish for ourselves from others?