Читать книгу One Summer At The Ranch: The Wyoming Cowboy / A Family for the Rugged Rancher / The Man Who Had Everything - Rebecca Winters, Christine Rimmer - Страница 13
ОглавлениеAfter passing through heavily scented sage and rolling meadows, the truck wound its way up the slopes of the forest. The smell of the hay bales mingled with the fresh fragrance of the pines, filling the dry air with their distinctive perfume.
To the delight of both Tracy and the children, they spotted elk and moose along the way. Carson slowed down the truck so they could get a good look. Rabbits hopped through the undergrowth. The birdsong was so noisy among the trees, it was like a virtual aviary. Squirrels scrambled through the boughs of the pines. Chipmunks chattered. Bees zoomed back and forth.
Tracy looked all around her. The earth was alive.
Life was burgeoning on every front. She could feel it creeping into her, bringing on new sensations that were almost painful in their intensity, sensations she’d thought never to experience again.
For so long she’d felt like the flower in the little vase Johnny had brought home from school for Mother’s Day. The pink rose had done its best, but after a week it had dried up. She kept it in the kitchen window as a reminder of her son’s sweet gift. Every time she looked at it, she saw herself in the wasted stem and pitiful-looking petals—a woman who was all dried up and incapable of being revived.
Or so she’d thought....
After following a long curve through the trees, they came out on another slope of grassy meadow where she lost count of the cattle after reaching the two hundred mark. They came in every color. In the distance she saw a few hands and a border collie keeping an eye on the herd. Carson brought the truck to a stop and got out.
“Oh,” Rachel half crooned. “Some of the mothers have babies.”
Tracy had seen them. With puffy white clouds dotting the sky above the alpine pasture, it was a serene, heavenly sight of animals in harmony with nature. “They’re adorable.”
Carson walked around to undo the tailgate. Beneath his cowboy hat, his eyes glowed like blue topaz as he glanced at her. “Every animal, whether it be a pony or a calf, represents a miracle of nature. Don’t you think?”
“Yes,” she murmured, unexpectedly moved by his words and the beauty of her surroundings.
Johnny’s giggle brought her head around. “Look at the funny calf. She’s running away.”
“Buster won’t let her get far.” Carson lowered the children to the ground. Tracy stayed put on her bale of hay. “Wouldn’t you like to walk around with us?”
“They won’t hurt you, Mom.”
She chuckled. “I know. But from up here I can get some pictures of you guys first.” Tracy pulled out her cell phone to make her point. “I’ll join you in a minute.” She didn’t want Carson’s help getting down. To her chagrin she still felt his touch from earlier when he’d lifted her in.
After she’d snapped half a dozen shots, she sat down on the tailgate and jumped to the ground. The children had followed Carson, who walked them through the herd, answering their myriad questions. Why were some of the calves speckled and their mothers weren’t? How come they drank so much water? He was a born teacher, exhibiting more patience than she possessed.
Soon the dog ran up to them, delighting the kids. Tracy trailed behind, trying not to be too startled when some of the cows decided to move to a different spot or made long lowing sounds.
Carson cornered one of the beige-colored calves and held it so the children could pet it. Their expressions were so priceless, she pulled out her camera and took a couple of more pictures for herself and the Harrises, who would love to see these.
The hour passed quickly. When he finally announced it was time to get back to the ranch house, the children didn’t want to go. He promised them they could come again in a few days.
“Do you think that calf will remember us?” Johnny wanted to know. All the children had to run to keep up with his long strides. Luckily their cowboy hats were held on with ties and didn’t fall off.
As Tracy looked at Carson waiting for his answer, their gazes collided. “I wouldn’t be surprised. The real question is, will you remember which calf you played with?”
“Sure,” Sam piped up. “It had brown eyes.”
A half smile appeared on Carson’s mouth, drawing Tracy’s attention when it shouldn’t have. “I’m afraid they all have brown eyes. Every once in a while a blue-eyed calf is born here, but their irises turn brown after a couple of months.”
Rachel stared up at him. “Do you think there might be one with blue eyes in this herd?”
“Maybe. Tell you what. The next time I bring you up here, you guys can check all the calves’ eyes. I’ll give you a prize if you can find a blue pair.”
“Hooray!” the children cried.
On that exciting note, he lifted them into the truck and shut the tailgate without reaching for Tracy.
Perhaps he wasn’t thinking when he did it, but it meant she’d be riding in the cab with him. He must have been reading her mind because he said, “Riding on top of a hay bale might work one way, but you’ve got more horseback riding to do and deserve a break.” Flashing her a quick smile, he turned to the kids.
“That basket in the corner has water and fruit for you guys. How about handing your mom a bottle, Johnny?”
“Okay. Do you want one, too?”
“I sure do. Thanks. Your mom’s going to ride in front with me. That means everyone sits down the whole time and holds on tight to the side.”
“We will,” they said in unison.
“That’s good. We don’t want any accidents.”
“Please be careful,” Tracy urged the kids.
“Mom—we’re not babies!”
Carson’s chuckle turned into a coughing spell as he helped her into the passenger side of the truck. Their fingers brushed when he handed her the bottle of water. This awareness of him was ridiculous, but all she could do was pretend otherwise.
He shut the door and went around to the driver’s side. She could still smell residual smoke from yesterday’s forest fire. Carson should have been spared that.
Before he got in, he drank from his bottle. She watched the muscles working in his bronzed throat. He must have been thirsty, because he drained it. After tossing it in the basket in back, he slid behind the wheel.
She drank half of hers, not so much from thirst but because she needed to occupy herself with some activity. “What do you call the color of that calf the children were petting?”
“Slate dun.”
“I knew it couldn’t be beige.”
In her peripheral vision, she noticed him grin. “In a herd of Longhorns you’ll see about every color of the rainbow represented, including stripes and spots.”
“Thank you for giving us this experience.” She took a deep breath of mountain air. “There’s so much to learn. Johnny’s going to go home loaded with information and impress his relatives. That’s saying a lot since they always sound like they know everything about everything and don’t hold back expressing it.”
His chuckle filled the cab. “Is he homesick yet?”
“I thought he would be. When we were flying into Jackson, I was afraid he would want to turn right around and go back. But nothing could be further from the truth. The second he caught sight of the tall dude who told him he’d take him shopping for some duds like his, he’s been a changed child. For your information, tall doesn’t run in the Baretta family. Neither does a Western twang.”
He darted her a quick glance. “Johnny wasn’t outgoing before?”
“He was...until Tony died. Since then he’s been in a reclusive state. The psychologist has been working with me to try to bring him out of his shell. When I get back to Ohio, I’m going to give him your business card and tell him to send all his trauma patients to the Teton Valley Dude Ranch. It’s already doing wonders for his psyche.”
“That’s gratifying to hear, but let’s not talk about your going home yet. You just barely got here. I’m glad we’re alone so you can tell me what kinds of things he wants to do the most. I don’t want him to be frightened of anything.”
“Well, I can tell you right now he’s crazy about Goldie and would probably spend all his days riding, pretending he’s a cowboy.”
“He seems to be a natural around her.”
“That’s because of the way you introduced him to horseback riding. You’ve given him back some of the confidence he’s lost this last year. That was a masterful stroke when you handed him the reins and suggested he walk the pony around first so she would get used to him. In your subtle way, you sent the hint that Goldie was nervous, thereby taking the fear from Johnny.
“I held my breath waiting for him to drop the reins and run over to me. To my shock, he carried on like a trouper. When he was riding her around, he wore the biggest smile I’ve seen in over a year. That’s your doing, Carson. You have no idea the wonders you’ve accomplished with him already. I’m afraid you’re going to get tired of my thanking you all the time.”
“That’s not going to happen. If my grandpa could hear our conversation, he’d be gratified by your compliment since he was the one who taught me everything I know about horses and kids.”
She bit her lip. “You miss him terribly, don’t you?”
“Yes. He and my grandmother were kind, wonderful people. They didn’t deserve to be burdened with a headstrong, selfish grandson so early in life.”
Tracy took another drink of water. “There’s that word deserve again. Don’t you know every child is selfish? The whole world revolves around them until they grow up and hopefully learn what life’s really about.”
His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “Except I grew up too late. I should never have left him alone.”
“Did he try to keep you from going into the Marines?”
“No. Just the opposite in fact,” he said before another coughing spell ensued.
“He sounds like a wise man who knew you had to find your own path. Tony’s two brothers who wanted to be police officers instead of firemen got a lot of flack from the rest of the family, especially from their father. He thought there was no other way to live, but two of his sons had other ideas. It has left resentments that seem to deepen.”
“That’s too bad. How did he handle Tony going into the Marines?”
“He didn’t like it. But by then Tony was a firefighter and planned to come back to it when he got out of the service. As long as his sons fell in line, he was happy. To this day, he’s still angry with the other two. He needed to take lessons from your grandfather.”
“Unfortunately nothing removes my guilt. I was his only family left.”
“It sounds like he wanted you to be happy. That was more important to him. He took on a sacred trust when he took over your upbringing. I feel the same way now that Tony’s gone. It’s up to me to guide my son. I’m terrified I’ll make mistakes. What worries me is the struggle Johnny’s going to have later on.”
“In what way?”
“His grandfather will expect him to grow up and take his place among the Baretta firefighters. Imagine his shock when we go home and Johnny announces he’s going to be a cowboy like his friend Carson when he grows up.”
Her comment seemed to remove some of the stress lines around his mouth that could grow hard or soft depending on his emotions. “These are early days, Tracy. Your son’s going to go through a dozen different stages before he becomes a man.”
She moaned. “Let’s hope he doesn’t end up suffering from your problem.”
His brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Tracy looked through the back window to make sure the children were all right.
“I’ve been keeping an eye on them,” he murmured, reading her mind again. Of course he had. He had a handle on everything, inspiring confidence in everyone, old or young.
“I don’t want Johnny to be afraid to reach out for his dreams for fear of leaving me on my own. He’s especially aware of it since learning I lost my parents at eighteen. Sometimes he shows signs of being overly protective. A few months ago he told me he would never leave me and planned to take care of me all my life.”
“There’s a sweetness in that boy.”
“Don’t I know it, but I refuse to exploit it. That’s one of the main reasons why I decided to accept your invitation to come to the ranch. If I don’t help him to live life the way he should, then I’m failing as a mother. You and your friends have done a greater service for our family than you can possibly imagine. I know I said this before. You were inspired, and I—I’m indebted to you.” Her voice caught.
He sat back in the seat. “After so much heartache, do you have any idea how much I admire you for carrying on? Tell me something. How did you continue to function after your parents were killed? I can’t imagine losing them both at the same time.”
“We had fantastic neighbors and friends at our church. Between them and my close friends, they became my support group and helped me while I was in college. Then I met Tony and was swept into his family.”
He cast her a glance. “Swept off your feet, too?”
She nodded. “Natalie, my sister-in-law who’s married to Joe, one of the out-of-favor police officers in the family, has become my closest friend. They have an eight-year-old son, Cory, who gets along famously with Johnny. I’ve been very blessed, so I can’t complain.”
After a silence Carson said, “What’s the other reason you decided to accept our offer?”
“To be honest, I was becoming as much of a recluse as Johnny.” She told him about the Mother’s Day flower. “Your letter jerked me out of the limbo I’d been wallowing in. Once I caught sight of the Tetons in the brochure, I lost my breath. Like your stomach that flew around in the air for a week after your first flight with your grandpa, I haven’t been able to get my breath back since.”
“After a visit to the Tetons, some people remain in that state.”
“Especially you, who came home from war struggling for yours. You and your friends have paid a heavy price. I admire you more than you know.”
She’d been struggling, too, but it was from trying to keep her distance from him, which was turning out to be impossible. Tracy didn’t understand everything going on inside him, but she realized that keeping her distance from him would be the wrong thing to do at the moment. Johnny was beginning to thrive. In a strange way she recognized they were all emotionally crippled because of the war and needed each other to get stronger.
“Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Why isn’t there a Mrs. Lundgren?”
“You wouldn’t like to hear the truth.”
“Try me.”
“The psychiatrist at the hospital did an evaluation on all of us. That was his first question to me. When I told him I preferred new adventures to being tied down, he told me I was an angry man.”
“Angry—you?”
Carson laughed. “That was my response, too. He told me that was a crock. He said I’d been angry all my life because my parents died. That anger took the form of flight, whether it was sports, travel, the military. He said I was too angry to settle down. But with this illness that cramped my style, it was time I came to grips with it and let it go, or I’d self-destruct.”
“And have you let it go?”
“I’m trying, but when I think of what I did to my grandfather, I can’t forgive myself. There’s so much I’ve wanted to say to him.”
“Don’t you think he knew why you were struggling? Did he ever try to talk to you about it?”
“Thousands of times, but I always told him we’d talk later. Of course that never happened. Then the opportunity was gone.”
“As my in-laws used to tell me when I wallowed in grief over my parents’ death, ‘You’ll be together in heaven and can talk everything over then, Tracy.’ I’ve come to believe that. One day you’ll have that talk with your grandfather.”
“I’d like to believe it, but you’ve got more faith than I have.”
Tracy sat there, pained for him and unable to do anything about it. Quiet reigned inside the cab as they drove through the sage. The children, on the other hand, were whooping it up, firing their cap guns. Johnny was becoming her exuberant child again. She had to pray it wasn’t solely because of Carson.
The Harris family couldn’t have come to the ranch at a better time. Tracy would involve them in as many activities as possible, because every new distraction helped.
As they drove around to the front of the ranch house, a cowboy with an impressive physique whom she hadn’t seen before stood talking to some guests. He had to be the third ex-marine.
The moment he saw Carson, he left them and walked over to the truck. He removed his hat and peered in his friend’s open window, allowing his green eyes to take her in. He wore his curly light-brown hair longer than the other two men and was every bit as attractive.
“Welcome to the ranch, Mrs. Baretta. We’ve been looking forward to your visit.” His remark ended with the usual cough. The sound of it wounded Tracy because she knew at what cost they’d served their country.
“Tracy? This is Buck Summerhays. Now you’ve met all three amigos.”
“It’s a privilege, Mr. Summerhays. Johnny and I can’t thank you enough for making us so welcome.”
“The honor of meeting Tony Baretta’s family is ours. Call me Buck.”
Carson opened the door. “Come on. I want you to meet Johnny and the other two children.”
While he got out, Tracy hurriedly opened her door and jumped down, not wanting any assistance. Everyone congregated at the rear of the truck. The men helped the children down, and Carson made the introductions.
Buck shut the tailgate before turning to everyone. “Where have you dudes been?”
“To see the cows,” Sam spoke up.
Rachel nodded. “Next time we’re going to look for calves with blue eyes. Carson’s going to give us a prize if we find one.”
His lips twitched. “Is that so.” His gaze fell on Johnny. “Now that you’ve been to the pasture, what do you want to do this afternoon after lunch?”
“I’d like to ride Goldie some more.”
“Who’s that?”
“My pony.”
“Ah.” His twinkling eyes sent Carson a silent message. “I was thinking I’d take you guys on a float trip down the river.”
“That sounds exciting,” Tracy intervened. “How about we all do that with Buck? After dinner you can have another horseback ride before bed.”
“Yeah!”
Johnny wasn’t quite as enthusiastic as the other two, but he didn’t put up an argument for which she was thankful. “Then come on. Let’s go in and wash our hands really well. After that we’ll find your parents and eat.” She herded the children inside the ranch house so the men could talk in private.
* * *
CARSON NOTICED BUCK’S eyes linger on Tracy as she disappeared inside the doors. He knew what his buddy was going to say before he said it.
“You’re a cool one.” He switched his gaze to Carson with a secretive smile. “Nice has to be the understatement of all time.”
“Her son’s nice, too.”
“I can see that.” Suddenly his expression sobered. “Tony Baretta shouldn’t have had to die.”
His throat swelled with emotion for their suffering. “Amen.” After more coughing he said, “I’ll park the truck around back.”
“I’ll come with you.”
In a minute they’d washed up and entered the kitchen to eat lunch.
“How was the pack trip?”
“It went without a hitch, but I noticed there are a lot of tourists already.”
“There’ll be a ton more as we get into summer.”
They devoured their club sandwiches. “I’m thinking that on this first float trip we’ll stay away from any rapids. If they enjoy it, then we’ll do a more adventurous one in a few days.”
“Sounds good.”
“Ross is busy fishing with another group for the afternoon. Are you going to come?” Buck eyed Carson over the rim of his coffee cup.
“No. I need to lie down for a couple of hours.”
Buck frowned. “Come to think of it, you don’t seem yourself. What’s going on?”
Carson brought him up to speed on the forest fire. “I kept the mask on as much as possible, but I still took in too much smoke.”
“You shouldn’t have gone near there.”
“That’s what Tracy said.” He could still hear the concern in her voice.
His buddy’s brows lifted in surprise. “Did you tell her about the fire?”
“I had to so she wouldn’t think I was abandoning Johnny. When I called her to explain, I was hacking almost as badly as when we were first brought into the hospital. If I ever needed proof of how bad it is for us, yesterday did it. None of us should ever get anywhere close to a fire if we can possibly help it.”
“Tell me about it. Last night I had a few coughing spasms myself and realized I needed to stay away from the campfire.”
“We need to take oxygen and inhalers with us everywhere, in case we’re caught in a bad situation.”
“Agreed.”
“Tell Johnny and the kids I have ranch business and will meet them at the corral after dinner for another lesson. Let Willy know I’m here if an emergency arises.” The part-time apprentice mechanic from Jackson alternated shifts with Susan and Patty at the front desk for the extra money.
“Will do. Take it easy.” He looked worried.
Carson got up from the table. “I’ve learned my lesson. See you tonight.”
He left the kitchen and headed for his bedroom. Though he was a little more tired than usual after yesterday’s incident, he was using it as an excuse to stay away from Tracy. Carson felt like he was on a seesaw with her.
Sometimes she seemed to invite more intimate conversation, particularly when she talked about not wanting to manipulate her son’s feelings. Despite the blow that had changed her life, she had a healthy desire to be the best mom possible. He felt her love for Johnny, and it humbled him.
But other times, she’d keep her distance. He didn’t know how to penetrate that invisible wall she threw up, no doubt to protect herself.
She’d married into a family that kept her and Johnny close. If she’d done any dating since her husband’s death, it couldn’t have made much of an impact. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have left Ohio to come here for a week.
He stretched out on the bed. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced this was her first experience being around a man again in such an isolated environment. A few more days together and he’d find out if she saw him in any other light than her host while she was on vacation.
This was new territory for him, too. He needed to take it slow and easy. Like the stallion he’d broken in at nineteen, you had to become friends first. The trick was to watch and key in to all the signals before you made any kind of move. One wrong step and the opportunity could be lost for a long time. Maybe forever.
And there was Johnny.
It was one thing to be the man who taught him how to horseback ride. But it was something else again if he sensed someone was trying to get close to his mother. She’d said Johnny showed signs of being overly protective.
No man would ever be able to replace his father. It would take her son’s approval and tremendous courage on Carson’s part before he could begin to establish a personal relationship with her, even if she were willing.
Last but not least would be the great obstacle of the Baretta family, who would resent another man infiltrating their ranks. Worse would be their fear of Carson influencing Tony’s son. He was their beloved flesh and blood.
Frustrated, he turned on his side. His thoughts went back to a certain conversation his grandfather had initiated.
“What are you looking for in a woman?”
“That’s the whole point. I’m not.”
“You don’t want children some day?”
“I don’t know.”
“One of the things I love most about you is your honesty, Carson. Wherever the military takes you, don’t ever lose that quality no matter what.”
“Grandpa, are you really okay about my becoming a marine?”
“The only thing I can imagine being worse than your staying home for me when you want to be elsewhere, would be for me to have to leave the ranch when it’s the only place I want to be. Does that answer your question?”
Oh yes, it answered it, all right. Carson had gone to do his tour of duty until it was cut short because he could no longer perform. Then he’d come home to the birthright his grandfather had bequeathed him without asking anything in return.
What tragic irony to be back for good, wanting to tell his grandfather that, at last, he could answer those questions. He wanted that talk so badly, tears stung his eyes. But it was too late to tell him what this woman and her son already meant to him.
When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he got up to shower and change clothes. There was always ranch business that required his attention. Work had proved to be the panacea to keep most of his demons at bay. But when he left his room, instead of heading for the den, he turned in the other direction and kept on walking right out the back door to his truck.
After reaching the barn, he saddled Blueberry. On his way out he saw Bert and told him he’d be back at seven to give the children another riding lesson. The other man said he’d have the ponies ready.
Carson thanked him and rode off. His horse needed the exercise, and needing the release, Carson rode hard to a rise overlooking the Snake River. In his opinion, this spot on the property captured the view of the granddaddy Teton at its most magnificent angle. He’d often wondered why his ancestor, Silas Lundgren, hadn’t chosen to build the original ranch house here.
While he sat astride Blueberry, his mind’s eye could imagine a house of glass, bringing the elements inside every room. Not a large house. Just the right size for a family to grow. Maybe a loft a little boy and his dog would love. From their perch they could watch a storm settle in over the Tetons, or follow the dive of an eagle intent on its prey.
The master bedroom would have the same view, with the added splendor of a grassy meadow filled with wildflowers coming right up to the windows. While she marveled over the sight, he would marvel over her, morning, noon and night.
A cough eventually forced him to let go of his vision. When he checked his watch, he saw it was almost seven o’clock. He had to give his horse another workout in order not to be too late.
As he came galloping up to the corral, he saw Tracy’s hair gleaming in the evening rays of the sun. She was surrounded by both families, mounted and ready for another lesson. He brought Blueberry to a sliding stop.
“Wow—” Johnny exclaimed from the top of Goldie. “Will you teach me how to do that? It was awesome!”
