Читать книгу The Complete Christmas Collection - Джанис Мейнард, Rebecca Winters - Страница 103

When his mouth covered hers, her heart lurched. Wrapping both arms around his neck, she pressed tightly against him. His mouth was warm, insistent, and she kissed him eagerly. She clung to him, returning his kiss while the air heated and her heartbeat thundered. How could he melt her in seconds? Why did he weave such a spell with her? She didn’t care. All she wanted at the moment was to hold and kiss him. She felt as starved to make love as they had on the snowy weekend.

“Emma, I want you,” he whispered.

Each kiss was more volatile than the last. At the moment she didn’t care about caution and what was wise in dealing with him. All she wanted was to be in his arms and kissing him.

Still kissing her, he picked her up and carried her through the house to the family room. He sat on the sofa, cradling her on his lap. Her hands drifted over him while her heart raced. She was glad they were together. Running his fingers in her hair, he kissed her. Why did this seem necessary? Why did his loving seem so right and special? The questions were dim, vague speculation that was blown away by passion.

She combed her fingers through his thick curls and played her hand over his muscled chest.

His hand slipped beneath her T-shirt. His fingers were warm, his hand calloused and faintly abrasive against her skin, a sensual, rough texture that heightened feeling. In seconds he had pushed away her bra to caress her. Pleasure streaked from his slightest touch, fanning sexual hunger to a bigger flame. Emma sat up, her thick red hair falling on both sides of her face as she tugged his T-shirt free and pulled it over his head. His eyes darkened and he had her shirt whisked away in a flash.

Knowing she was pursuing a reckless course, but wanting him desperately, she sat astride him and leaned forward. They embraced each other to kiss, his sculpted, warm chest pressed against her with the mat of chest curls a tantalizing texture.

Desire raged while she struggled to dredge up control. Dimly, she thought about her fears of how hurt she would be when the job ended and she told Zach goodbye. The hard knowledge that when that time came, he would be gone permanently from her life was a cooling effect. And it hurt. Was she falling in love with him? Was she already in love?

She leaned away slightly to frame his face with her hands. “To my way of seeing, our continuing to make love is a road to disaster. I want to back up a little and think about what we’re doing.” As she talked, she shifted off Zach and stood in front of him. While he watched her, his fingers caressed her, dallying along her hip and down her thigh, causing her to pause. She inhaled sharply, closed her eyes and stood immobile while his hands created magic and made her want to go back to kisses and loving him.

After seconds or minutes, she didn’t know, she grabbed his wrists and opened her eyes. “Zach, wait.”

He stood, his arms wrapping around her. She ran her hands over his chest. “I want you, Emma. I want to make love to you all night.”

“Part of me wants that. Part of me has enough sense to know that’s a reckless course to follow. Getting involved with you isn’t what I hired on to do. And that first day that’s what you agreed to avoid. I don’t want last weekend every night until this job is over. If we do, I’ll never want to leave.”

“I just know what we both want right now. Kisses don’t have one thing to do with business or your job or mine. I wasn’t even going to keep you that first day, but you proved to be such a damn good secretary, I did. Emma, I’ve spent the past four days wanting you. I’ve been with you, watching you, aching to hold and kiss you.”

His words echoed her feelings. Constantly through the holiday, she had glanced at him, wanting to go somewhere they could be alone to kiss and love and lose themselves as they had the weekend before. At the same time, she knew the hopelessness of getting more deeply entangled with him.

“You and I are way too opposite to get closely involved. You might not care at all and that means nothing to you, but it means a lot to me. You saw my family. My lifestyle and background are totally different from yours. If we continue to make love now, it will mean certain things on an emotional level to me that lovemaking won’t to you. We’ll get more deeply involved with each other. I can’t separate that from my deepest feelings.”

Standing, he reached out to take her into his arms again. “We’ll just kiss. You say when to stop.”

“If we do this, Zach, you’ll have my heart.”

“Maybe you’ll have mine,” he whispered, showering kisses on her temple to her cheek and then on her mouth. He kissed her insistently, holding her close against him, ending her arguments. She wanted him and her hunger overcame the logic, her caution, her arguments. She held him, kissing him with fervor that grew. The weekend had been another chain binding her heart. She held him tightly. She couldn’t stop now. Later, he picked her up, kissing her as he carried her to the closest bedroom to make love to her.

Near dawn she stirred and rolled over to look at Zach who lay sleeping beside her. She rose up, brushing a curl off his forehead. A dark stubble covered his jaw. He was muscled and fit except for his injury that would heal. With their loving and Zach going home with her, he became more appealing each day. It didn’t matter. There was no way he could ever be the man for her. No matter what her heart wanted. They were far too opposite. Even if they both were wildly in love, there was no possibility she could ever accept his lifestyle. She had told him if they continued making love, it would mean more to her and it would hurt deeply when she had to break it off and leave. And should he want her to stay, or wanted to marry her, which was impossible with a man like Zach, she couldn’t accept. Not with his nomadic lifestyle.

While he had been good about the weekend with her family, she suspected there was no likelihood he would ever settle. She hurt and the hurt would grow worse later, but they were mismatched and neither wanted change.

He had met her family now and knew enough about her that he should understand what she told him. She suspected this job would end soon because he had a doctor’s appointment this week and she had noticed he was getting around far better each day.

She studied him, with his shadowy long lashes on his cheeks. As he slept, she took her time. Looking at his firm lips, she thought about their kisses. Unable to resist, she leaned closer to kiss him lightly. His arm banded her waist and his eyes opened lazily. He pulled her close to kiss her to make love. She stopped thinking and gave herself to feeling.

At nine o’clock, she sat up and reached across him to get his phone from a bedside table. “Zach, it’s after nine. We have to—”

He kissed her and stopped her announcement. In minutes he raised his head. “We don’t really have to do anything except stay here in bed.”

“Oh, yes, we do,” she said, stepping out of bed and tugging free the sheet to wrap around herself. “We need to get back to our business relationship. We’re already deep enough in a personal one. It’s time to slow this part down.” He placed his hands behind his head, smiling and watching her.

“I’ll see you in the office,” she said, scurrying out of the room, praying she didn’t encounter Nigel before she got away from Zach and got her clothes back on.

It was an hour before she had showered and dressed in fresh jeans, a blue cotton shirt and loafers. With an eagerness she couldn’t curb, she went downstairs to the office to find Zach sitting behind his desk.

He smiled when she came in and stood to come around his desk. He looked sexy, more appealing than ever in fresh, tight jeans and a black sweater. The warmth in his eyes held her immobile, unable to look away, and her pulse drummed in her ear. Her breath caught as he closed the distance between them to take her into his arms and kiss her a long time.

“Good morning,” he said in a deep voice that was like fur wrapping around her.

“Good morning,” she whispered in return, aware she was in love with him to the extent she might not ever get over it. This was a man she absolutely had to get over. He would never be the man for her and she could never be the woman for him.

“We weren’t going to do this in the office. Use some self-control,” she teased, trying to make light of the moment and end it.

“Sure. For now,” he replied, heading to his desk. As Zach circled his desk, she noticed that he no longer limped and she was certain he would be able to go back to his normal life very soon and would no longer need her. The thought of telling him goodbye hurt with a pain that ran deep. She had faced the truth that she was in love with him. Hurt was inevitable.

They both were busy and lunch was brief, but he ate with her and she was glad. She wanted to be with him and the clock was ticking. Their time together would end too soon. She wanted more than just dining with him, of course, but each time they made love, her heart was bound more tightly with his.

Zach sat with work in front of him, but he couldn’t keep from continually watching Emma. She was filing, moving around from desk to file cabinet, paying no attention to him. The tight jeans molded her hips and long legs. Her hair was tied behind her head with a ribbon and through lunch he had wanted to reach over and untie it.

He should have told her goodbye when they got back last night and he should have eaten lunch on his own today. He thought about her brother; he had meant it when he had told Connor he didn’t want to hurt Emma. He glanced at his desk calendar. He would go to the doctor tomorrow and he suspected he would be told he had recovered and could return to his usual activities, which meant her job would be over.

If someone had bet him everything he owned that he would go home with a secretary who was a homebody deluxe, he would have lost every cent he owned. All during the ride back in the car, he had longed to lean over the seat to kiss her. When they arrived home, their lovemaking was inevitable. He could not resist.

He thought of what she had said in the car about the way he was with his family. Was his solitary life because he didn’t know how to open up with his brothers or risk his emotions again and get them trampled as he had when he was a child?

He was leaving the ranch and the country as soon as he could. He would probably spend Christmas in Italy. He thought about the fun she would have with her family and couldn’t keep from comparing that with thoughts about him rattling around the house in Italy all alone. The Italian home didn’t hold near the appeal it had a month earlier.

Thoughts of her heated him. He wanted her right now and he wanted her in his bed again tonight. What would it be like to marry Emma and have her in his bed each night? The question shocked him because it was the first time he had contemplated even a thought of marriage with any woman he was friends with. How emotionally entangled was he with Emma? She stirred responses and emotions in him no other woman ever had. But there was no way he could have a permanent relationship with her.

She made her choices and she knew the job would end soon and they would part and not see each other again. There was absolutely no future in seeing her after she returned to Dallas. This wasn’t the woman for him. Except in bed. He couldn’t get enough of her there. Just watching her and thinking about her, he was getting aroused.

Knowing he had to get his mind off her and cool down, he turned to pick up the weekend mail, trying to concentrate on business.

It was almost four when Zach’s phone rang. Emma had closed her computer and it looked as if she were clearing her desk to get ready to go. Zach answered the phone to hear Will.

Zach turned to ice, swearing quietly, causing Emma to look at him. “I’ll be there as fast as I can get there.” He replaced the phone.

“Caroline’s gone,” he said, glancing at Emma as he punched a number on his cell phone while he came around his desk.

“Oh, no. How long ago?” Emma rushed to keep up with him. She hurried beside him. “What happened? What will you do?”

“Go look for her. You can stay or you can come with me.” Zach broke off to talk to his foreman. “Carl, Zach. Caroline’s dog ran off and she went after it. They don’t know where she is. Organize the guys and get them to head over to Will’s ranch to help look for her. I’m going now.” He listened and then ended the call. He grabbed a jacket he kept in the back hallway. He tossed her one of his. “Take this if you’re coming with me.”

She yanked on the heavy jacket, half running to keep up with him.

“Will and Ava are in Dallas. They were going to the symphony,” Zach explained as they hurried toward the eight-car garage. “They’re flying back now.”

“How did Caroline disappear?”

“Muffy got out and Caroline went after her. The nanny, Rosalyn, went after Caroline, but Rosalyn slipped and fell. They think she hit her head on a rock because she lost consciousness briefly. When she regained consciousness, Caroline was gone.” He was tempted to tell Emma to stay at the ranch because he could go faster without her, but they probably would need everyone they could get to help search for Caroline. His insides were a knot thinking about the little girl wandering around on the ranch with night coming.

“Thank heavens the weather is warmer than last week,” Emma said, half running to keep up with his long stride.

“Will already has a chopper in the air and he’s calling Ryan. He’ll notify the county sheriff after he talks to Ryan,” Zach said. He was chilled with fear for Caroline and couldn’t wait to get to Will’s ranch to start searching. Hazards spun in his mind and he tried to not think about them. How long would it take Caroline to get to the highway? From what Will said, she must have been near the house when last seen. He’d think forty minutes to an hour at best before she could possibly reach the highway. He glanced at the sky. It probably would be dark in another two hours.

“Damn, there are some canyons and some woods on Will’s land,” he said. “She’s just so little.”

Climbing into a pickup, with Emma rushing into the passenger seat, Zach headed toward the highway pushing the truck as fast as he dared.

Emma called her mother, relaying the situation. “My family can at least say a few prayers,” she explained to Zach. “How long has Caroline been gone?”

“Not long. The minute she regained consciousness, Rosalyn called Will on her cell, so it was just a brief time. The bad thing was Rosalyn had no idea which direction to go to look for Caroline.”

“Surely she hasn’t gone far from home. Maybe she’ll find her way back soon.”

“She’ll be chasing that little dog,” he said, explaining about how easily Caroline could find her way to the highway. “Little kids can go fast sometimes and they like to run.”

“I think we’ll find her. She hasn’t had time to get far.”

“We’ve got a creek that has a few deep spots. She swims, but it’s cold and I don’t know what she’d do if she panicked. We have rattlesnakes in abundance,” he said, clamping his mouth closed. “At least it’s winter and the snakes won’t be the same problem as in summer,” he said, aware he was thinking out loud. Caroline was too little, her life too sheltered, to have any idea how to take care of herself.

“Hope for the best, Zach,” she said, looking every which way out the windows. “I know she can’t be this far out, but I can’t keep from looking around.”

He gritted his teeth. He couldn’t understand Emma’s hopeful tone as if finding Caroline had become a certainty. There had been only rare moments in his adult life he had felt terrified, but he did now. He never had to this extent.

The car left a cloud of dust in the graveled road as he sped along, sliding on curves, sending plumes of dust into the air. They reached the highway in record time and he was amazed his driving hadn’t scared Emma. Feeling a grim foreboding, Zach pushed the truck to its limit, speeding on the flat road. He gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles hurt.

“When we get close to Will’s land, especially in line with the house, should you slow to watch for her?”

“I’m going to the house to find out where Rosalyn last saw her. We have to find her before night falls. We have mountain lions, coyotes. She can’t stay out alone tonight.”

“She can’t have gotten far,” Emma said with a strong, positive tone. “We’ll find her before dark. We’ll split up to look,” Emma said. “No point in staying together. Maybe Muffy will just go home.”

“I don’t think so,” Zach replied, his nerves on edge and not helped by Emma’s cheerful optimism. “That little dog isn’t any more accustomed to being out on her own than Caroline is. Muffy won’t know the way home. Damn, I’ve never felt so helpless.”

“Have you ever been this panicked about yourself?”

He gave her a startled look. “That’s entirely different.”

“Have you ever been this concerned about another adult?”

“No. Adults are different. Caroline is vulnerable.”

“You’re going to help. There are lots of people to help in the search. I’m sure we’ll find her.”

“Emma, I don’t know how you can be so certain we’ll find her,” he said, trying to avoid snapping at her. “All the odds are the other way.” If he and Emma were opposites, it had never been more so than at this moment. He glanced at her and saw her watching the land spreading away from the county road.

“There are a lot of people to look for her and she hasn’t been gone long,” Emma replied.

She was right, but it was a huge ranch with too many hazards for a child. Caroline would be completely unpredictable because she had never been out alone before. He hurt for Will and Zach was terrified for Caroline, trying to avoid thinking about how afraid she must be.

They lapsed into another silence until Zach waved a hand. “We’re less than a mile from the turn into Will’s ranch.”

A barb wire fence bounded the property and the land near the road was flat with mesquite scattered across it. “You can see a lot from here.” Shortly, he spotted the gate ahead and beyond it a thick grove of trees. The road curved out of sight and two tall cottonwoods bordered the county road. “Let me out along here, Zach,” Emma said.

“I don’t think she’s had time to get this far. I hope not.”

“I’ll start walking back toward the house. Maybe I’ll meet her.” She patted his arm. “Don’t worry until you have to.”

“How the hell can I not worry?” he snapped, knowing he was being sharp, but he was filled with worry and fear for Caroline and he couldn’t understand or appreciate Emma’s positive attitude.

“Let me out as soon as you turn off the highway please.”

“Emma, I don’t want to have to worry about you, too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I have my phone. Stop the car and I’ll go on foot.”

He slowed, turned and stopped.

“Be positive, Zach. We’ll find her.” She jumped out quickly and he drove away.

At least she had a phone and knew how to use it. He suspected Emma knew little more than Caroline about being out on her own on the ranch, but she was an adult and would be okay. She was insulated in her positive feelings while he had none. As he drove around a bend in the road, Emma disappeared from sight in his rearview mirror.

Emma stood still, her gaze searching the dark woods. It would be five soon and since it was winter, the daylight would fade quickly. Saying another prayer, she began to walk inside Will’s fence, continuing on in the direction they had been headed before Zach turned onto the ranch drive. She had told him she would walk toward the house, but she wanted to look along the highway a bit first. The highway worried Zach and she could see why. She studied the darkness beneath the thick grove of trees as she went. Surely if a child and a dog were nearby, they would make noise.

“Caroline,” Emma called, the cry sounding small, pointless in all the emptiness around her.

Emma walked briskly for ten minutes, following the wide curve of the road, listening for any sounds of a child and then she heard voices. The road still curved and whoever was talking was lost to sight, but it sounded like more than two people.

Emma jogged, following the road, and finally she saw a pickup ahead. It had pulled off the side of the road. Relief and joy swamped her because it was a couple standing and talking to Caroline. The child held a white dog in her arms.

“Caroline!” Emma lengthened her stride and ran, breathing deeply when she reached them.

“Caroline, everyone is looking for you,” she said as she hugged the little girl lightly.

She looked expectantly at the couple standing watching. She offered her hand. “I’m Emma Hillman,” she said.

“We’re Pete and Hazel Tanner,” a deeply tanned, white-haired man said. His wide-brimmed hat was pushed back on his head. “We saw the dog and stopped and in a few minutes the little girl came running into sight. She gave us a number to call and they are coming to get her.”

“Thank you so much,” Emma said. “I’ll call her uncle and tell him in case he hasn’t gone to the house.” She turned slightly, calling Zach to tell him.

“I’m the one coming back to get her,” Zach said. “When I drove up, they told me the Tanners had called. Thank goodness you’re with them. I should be there in minutes.”

“She’s fine, Zach. And she has her dog with her. These nice people stopped to see about Muffy and then Caroline came along.”

“Just wait and I’ll get all of you. I won’t be long.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” she said smiling and thinking how fast he had driven. She called her mother to let her know Caroline was found safe.

Scratching Muffy’s head while Caroline held her, she talked to the couple for a few minutes. She wanted a hand close to the dog in case Muffy decided to run again.

“Caroline told us her name and how her little dog ran away and she couldn’t catch her. She said her nanny was probably looking for her,” Mabel Tanner said.

“A lot of people are searching for Caroline,” Emma stated, smiling at the girl.

Emma heard the car before she saw Zach and then she watched him pull onto the shoulder to park. He had a leash in his hand and hooked it on Muffy’s collar after he had hugged Caroline. Picking up Caroline, he handed the end of the leash to Emma while he talked to the Tanners.

“Thanks beyond words for helping,” he said, shaking hands with the couple and talking briefly to them. In minutes they climbed into their pickup while Zach held the door for Emma and Caroline. As Caroline buckled herself into the back, Zach buckled the leash in beside her. Caroline pulled Muffy onto her lap. Zach leaned in to brush a kiss on the top of Caroline’s head. “You gave us a real scare,” he said softly.

“I’m sorry.” She smiled up at him, and he stepped back to close the door.

He slid behind the wheel and glanced at Emma. “After I talked to you and knew you were with Caroline, I called Will to tell him to go on to the symphony because everything is okay here. He’s already landing. He said he wants to come home to hug Caroline.”

“I can understand that,” Emma answered. She turned in her seat to talk to Caroline.

“Caroline, did you have trouble finding Muffy?”

“No. I could see her, but she wouldn’t come back to me. I had to run fast.”

“I’ll bet you did,” Emma replied. “You ran a long, long way.”

Caroline nodded her head. “She sat to wait for me and then she’d run. I think she wanted to play.”

Emma had to laugh. “I’m sure she had great fun.”

“Everyone was very worried about you and Muffy. I’m glad we found you and Muffy didn’t cross the highway,” Zach said.

“Mr. and Mrs. Tanner told me that they saw Muffy and stopped because they thought she was a lost dog. Then they saw me. When I told them I was alone, they called Daddy Two. I told them his phone number.”

“That was the right thing to do,” Zach said. “He’ll be here soon.”

Caroline’s eyes narrowed. “Am I in trouble?”

“I don’t think so,” Zach said. “We’ll just be glad to have you and Muffy home again. Rosalyn is very worried. We all were worried about where you were and if you were safe. You gave us all a big scare, Caroline,” he said.

“I would have gone home, but I couldn’t catch Muffy.”

“Would you have known how to find home?” Zach asked her.

“I could have followed the fence. Except I got scared when I saw Muffy running toward the highway.”

“I’ll bet you were scared. How did Muffy get loose?”

“The back gate wasn’t closed all the way. Someone had left it open and Muffy squeezed out.”

“Well, we’ll put a little sign on that gate to keep it closed,” Zach said and Caroline smiled.

Caroline hugged Muffy who had stretched out to sleep. “Thank you for coming to get me, Uncle Zach.”

“You’re welcome,” he said.

Soon they were home and as they approached the house, Rosalyn waited on the porch. Pulling her coat close around her, she came down the steps to greet them. With a bandage on her forehead, she looked pale and she walked slowly, carefully hanging to the rail.

“Rosalyn doesn’t look so great,” Zach said quietly.

They climbed out of the car, and Caroline ran to Rosalyn to hug her while Zach got Muffy out and held her until they were inside the fenced yard. He set the small dog on her feet to remove her leash.

Emma greeted Caroline’s nanny and stood quietly while Zach talked to her about her fall. “You should get off your feet, Rosalyn.”

“I will. I just had to come hug Caroline. She didn’t know I fell. She thought I was probably coming behind her. I can’t tell you how worried I’ve been. About as much as Mr. Will. I caught my foot on a root and I couldn’t keep from falling. I hit something, and then I was just out. When I came to, Caroline was gone. I’ve never had such a scare,” she said, looking at Caroline who was tossing a ball for Muffy.

“She’s back with her dog so you mend. Take it easy and get well.”

“I intend to,” she said, smiling at him.

A car came up the drive and Will spilled out, hurrying around to open the door for Ava. They both rushed through the gate. The instant Caroline saw them, she threw out her arms and ran toward them.

Will picked her up to hug her and hold her out so she and Ava could hug.

“We’ll go say hello and goodbye. Leave the family to themselves,” Zach said.

Will turned to greet them, shaking Zack’s hand. “Thanks for coming on the run and thanks, Emma, for finding her with the Tanners on the highway. They live over in the next county and we know each other to say hello. I couldn’t believe Caroline made it to the highway in that time.”

“We’re all happy now,” Zach said. “We’ll leave you to talk to Caroline and Rosalyn. Night, sweetie,” he added, kissing Caroline’s cheek. Slipping a small, thin arm around his neck, she hugged him and Zach smiled at her.

He took Emma’s arm to go to his car and in minutes they were on the road driving back to his ranch.

“I’m going home, kicking back and having a beer. Caroline looks so little and frail. That scared me. I still feel as if my insides are shivering.” He glanced at her. “How did you keep so calm?”

“You were calm.”

“I just had it all bottled up, but it’s coming out now.”

Emma was amazed, because Zach seemed so tough, and today, cool when he had taken charge to call his men and then get to Will’s ranch quickly. He had traveled and worked in dangerous jobs all over the world where he’d had to keep his wits, yet now he was coming apart. She saw his hands had a tremor. “I don’t know how you were calm,” he repeated.

“Positive thinking and prayers, Zach. Expecting a happy outcome.”

“You’re the eternal optimist,” he stated, shaking his head. “I’ve seen too much, Emma. Positive thinking and prayers can’t guarantee happy endings.”

“Neither can giving up hope and imagining all sorts of scary scenarios. Then if something happens, because of your imagination, you’ve suffered more than once. We’re very different people.”

“Amen to that one,” he said. “There’s the one thing we can agree about,” he added and she smiled.

As soon as they were inside the house, Zach built a fire, got the wine she requested and a beer for himself. While he sipped, he stretched out on the floor. Firelight flickered over him and her breath caught. He looked virile, appealing. Broad shoulders, long legs, thick curls. She wanted to join him, but that was a path to deeper complications.

“How do people have kids and not have nervous breakdowns when they do something like Caroline just did?” he asked.

“You cope with it, just the way you and Will and Ava did. You do whatever you can,” Emma said.

“I’ll never understand how you could stay cheerful and optimistic that we would find her. I know the reason you gave me, but I still don’t get it”

“We did find her,” she reminded him, sitting near him to sip her drink. He removed it from her hands and drew her down into his arms to kiss her. “I just try to focus on the positive, Zach. And Caroline hadn’t been gone long when everyone started looking for her.”

“I keep thinking she had reached the highway and if the Tanners hadn’t come along—”

“But they did come along, so don’t think about the other possibilities,” Emma said. He held her in his embrace as they were stretched on the floor together. She had been frightened for Caroline, but certain they would find her. Now to know Caroline was safe and with Will, Emma felt as if they had been given the biggest Christmas gift early.

Desire, relief, joy all buoyed her and she wrapped her arms around Zach to kiss him hungrily. Instantly, his arm tightened around her waist and he pulled her closer. “I need you tonight, Emma,” he said in a rasp. “This is an affirmation of life and all’s right with our world,” he said, his blue eyes darkening as he drew her closer.