Читать книгу The Complete Christmas Collection - Джанис Мейнард, Rebecca Winters - Страница 104

Relief transformed into lust, and loving Zach was an affirmation of life.

Heat from the fire warmed her, but not as much as Zach’s kisses that sent her temperature climbing.

Sex with him became paramount. To be alive, to be able to make love with Zach, to have loved ones safe—her emotions ran high and she threw herself into kissing him, tangling her fingers in his thick hair.

She thought Zach was caught in the same emotional whirlwind, relieved, celebrating life and that all was okay now because his kisses became more passionate as he concentrated totally on pleasuring her.

In seconds they loved with a desperate hunger. With ragged breathing, she kissed him while her fingers traced muscles and planes of his body. Wild abandon consumed her and when they were joined, they rocked together until she cried out his name with her thundering release.

“Zach, ah, love,” she gasped, the word slipping out and she hoped he hadn’t heard her. Rapture enveloped her, a moment in time when they were in unison and meant something to each other. A moment she wanted to hold, yet would be as fleeting as the snowflake she had caught and watched disappear in her warm palm.

Afterwards, as they drifted back to reality, he held her close in his arms while he showered her face and shoulders with light kisses that made her feel adored.

She turned on her side to look at Zach, drawing her fingers along his jaw to feel the rough, dark stubble. “This isn’t what I expected tonight. Yet it’s a rejoicing of sorts.”

“A definite celebration of life for me.” He sighed and traced his fingers over her bare shoulder. “I hope next week is another occasion for cheer. I have a doctor’s appointment and I have high hopes I can get back into a normal shoe.”

“When you do we’ll be through here. Zach, I still urge you to keep those letters. You don’t know if Caroline will want them one day. If you destroy them, you can’t get them back.”

“I know you’ve scanned most of them into the computer, so now we have electronic copies.”

“The original letters are far more important.”

He smiled. “Emma, you’re a hopeless romantic. You’re talking about letters written over a hundred years ago.”

“I feel as if I know that part of your family. They were brave, intelligent and your great-great-grandfather had a sense of humor. I’ve found touching letters by your great-great-grandmother, too. I think the letters are priceless. And the fact that the letters date from over a hundred years ago has value, Zach. The electronic copies hold no value except they are copies if the originals are destroyed.”

“I think you’re placing too high a value on old letters. Now the things we’ve found mixed in with the letters, the gold watch, the Colt revolver, the Henry rifle—those are valuable. I can’t believe someone put a Colt or a rifle in a box of letters.”

“They put together what was important to them.”

“No way are those letters as valuable as that Colt.”

“Maybe not in dollars, but I think the letters are more valuable. The letters are a window into your ancestors’ thoughts and dreams and lives.”

He rose on an elbow to look at her. “We are polar opposites in every way. How can we possibly have this attraction that turns my insides out?”

“It does other things to you,” she said, caressing him.

“You know what you’re doing to me now,” he said in a deep voice.

“Zach,” she whispered, knowing the one part of their lives where they were totally compatible. “You’re an incredibly sexy man,” she added.

“That, darlin’, is the pot calling the kettle black, as the old saying goes.” His eyes darkened and his gaze shifted to her mouth as he leaned closer to kiss her.

She held him tightly while the endearment, his first, echoed in her mind and how she wished he had meant something by it. When it came to Zach, she couldn’t hang on to that optimism she had everywhere else in her life.

Through the night they made love and slept in each other’s arms. It was late morning before they dressed and ate. While Zach talked on the phone to Will, she sat at the kitchen table and gazed outside at the crystal blue swimming pool, the color reminding her of Zach’s eyes. She thought about all she loved and admired about him—his generosity, his care for Caroline and his family, even if he didn’t spend time with them, he obviously loved them. He was intelligent, talented, capable of running the businesses he owned and she had heard he started all of them, not his father. He was caring and fun, exciting, obviously a risk-taker although that wasn’t a part that held high appeal for her.

As soon as he told Will goodbye, she stood. “Zach, I’m going back to work. I can still get a lot done today.”

Nodding his head, he stood as she left the room. Her back tingled and she was tempted to turn around to stay with him and postpone work, but there was no point and no future in spending a lot of time with him. After this job ended, she did not expect to see him again.

Each day the rest of the week she spent nearly all her time reading the letters. When she returned Sunday night after the weekend at home, she was certain this would be her last week to work for Zach. A new concern nagged her constantly—for the first time, her period was late. They had used protection, so she dismissed the likelihood of pregnancy, but she didn’t know what was wrong. Tuesday morning she called to make an appointment to see her family doctor the following week when she would be at home in Dallas.

Later that day, forgetting time or her surroundings, she read a yellowed letter on crackling paper.

“Zach, do you have a moment? Listen to this letter,” she said. “This one is from your great-grandfather when their first child, a son, was born. Was your grandfather the oldest son?”

“Yes, he was,” Zach said, leaning back in his chair.

She bent over the paper spread on her knees, her hair falling forward around her face.

“My dear sister. Lenore gave me a son today. He is a fine, strong baby and I am pleased. He has my color eyes and his mother’s light hair. He has a healthy cry. I am certain his cries can be heard at the creek.

“With her long hair down Lenore looks beautiful. She has given me life’s most precious gift. I feel humble, because there is nothing as valuable that I can present to her in return. I have done what I hope will please her the most. To surprise her I have ordered a piano for her.

“I wish I could give her fine satin gowns and a palace, but she would merely laugh if I told her my wish. Instead, I hope she likes her piano. It will be shipped to Saint Joseph, Missouri, on the train. I will send four of the boys with a wagon and a team to go to Missouri to pick up the piano. They must protect it from the elements, thieves and all hazards because they will have to cross more than one treacherous river. They have promised they can get the piano and bring it back here.”

Pausing, she looked up as Zach crossed the room to her. “Surely, that letter means something to you.”

Taking the letter from her fingers to drop it back into the box, he pulled her to her feet, putting his arm around her waist. “I still say you’re a romantic.”

“If you destroy these, I think you’ll have regrets.”

“That’s impossible for me to imagine. Today I’m filled with positive moments because I expect a great prognosis when I go to the doctor this afternoon. I think he’ll say I’m healed and can wear regular shoes. After Christmas I want to take you dancing.”

Her heart felt squeezed. She was thrilled while at the same time, that was only postponing their final parting.

“We’ll see when the time comes,” she said, placing her hands on Zach’s chest. She could feel his heart beneath her palms and wondered if his reaction to her was half as strong as how he affected her. His blue eyes darkened with desire, causing her heartbeat to quicken. “You may not be able to dance as soon as you think. What is more likely—you’ll be half a world away by that time.”

“I don’t think that’s why you aren’t accepting, is it?”

“I don’t see much future for us. I think when you fully recuperate, you’ll be gone. You’ll return to life as you’ve always lived it. You have to agree.”

“I might hang around Texas for a while. There are things I can do here. Wherever I am, I can fly home when I want to.”

“I don’t know how you can even call one place home. This is the family ranch, now Garrett’s, not your home. You don’t stay in your home in Dallas,” she argued breathlessly, having to make an effort to concentrate on their conversation when all she could think about was being in his arms and wanting him.

He smiled at her. “I’ll ask again.” Sparks arced between them, the air crackling. Just as it had been between them that first encounter, she was caught and held in his steady gaze that made her even more breathless.

“Zach,” she whispered, sliding her arms around his neck.

He kissed her. Tingles streaked across her nerves. Awareness intensified of every inch of him pressed so close. Holding him tightly, she refused to think about the future, the job ending, her saying goodbye to Zach. Each day she was more in love with him. The world, work, letters, her future, all ceased to exist in her thoughts that focused totally on him.

His kiss turned her insides to jelly, ignited fires, heat sizzling in her. She pressed against him more firmly, taking what she could while he was here in her arms because too soon he would be gone forever.

Finally, she gave a thought to their time and place.

“Zach, there are other people in the house now,” she whispered, wondering if her protests fell on deaf ears.

He kissed her, silencing her conversation. When she felt him tug on her sweater, she grasped his wrists. Breathing hard, he looked at her as she shook her head.

“We’re downstairs. Nigel and Rosie are here. Within the hour you should leave for your flight to Dallas to see your doctor. We have to stop loving now.”

Combing long strands of hair from her face, Zach looked at her mouth. “You’re beautiful. We’ll come back to this moment tonight when I get home.”

“We shouldn’t,” she whispered. “You need to get lunch now before you go.”

“I know what I’d rather do.”

She shook her head. “Lunch is on the schedule.”

“Ok, come eat with me.” She nodded, walking beside him, unable to resist. Through lunch he was charming, making her anxious for his return before he had even left the house.

While he was gone the house was quiet and she read, stopping occasionally to stretch, or pacing the room and reading as she walked.

Late afternoon shadows grew long and she added a log to the fire. It was winter and the days had grown shorter with a chill in the air. She heard his whistle before he appeared. When he came through the office door, he closed it behind him. Her heart thudded against her ribs. She took one look at him and knew her job was over.

Vitality radiated from him as if he had been energized while he was in Dallas. She didn’t have to ask what the doctor had said. Zach crossed the room to pull her to her feet and kiss her heatedly

In minutes, clothes were tossed aside. The fire was glowing orange embers, giving the only light in the darkened room during early evening.

“Zach, we’re downstairs and not alone in the house.”

“The door is closed. No one will bother us,” he whispered between kisses. “I want you, Emma.” He kissed her before she could argue and she yielded, loving him back with a desperate urgency.

They moved to the rug in front of the fire. Heat warmed her side while Zach’s body was hot against her own. He got a condom from a pocket and returned to kneel between her legs while he put it in place.

Orange sparks and embers highlighted the bulge of muscles and his thick manhood while the planes of his cheeks and flat stomach were shadows. Another memory to lock away in her mind and heart.

A log cracked and fell, sending a shower of sparks spiraling up the chimney. The sudden flash of red and orange dancing sparks illuminated Zach even more for a brief moment. He looked like a statue, power and desire enveloping him. She drew her fingers along his muscled thighs and heard him gasp for breath.

Lowering himself, he wrapped his arms around her to thrust slowly into her, filling her. He was hard, hot, moving with a tantalizing slowness as she arched beneath him.

“Zach,” she whispered, wanting to confess her love, longing to hold him tightly and tell him she loved him with all her heart.

Their rhythm built, increasing need and tension, until release burst, spinning her into ecstasy, taking him with her seconds later.

She lost awareness of everything except Zach in their moment of perfect union. A physical bonding at the height of passion that carried with it an emotional bonding. Clinging to him with her long legs wrapped around him, she did not want to let go as if she could hold the moment and delay time itself. This man, so totally different from her, had become vital to her. Right now she couldn’t face letting him go.

They slowed, calmed while she caught her breath. Her hands were light touches, caressing his shoulders and back while she drifted in paradise.

When he rolled over, taking her with him, he kissed her tenderly. There was still enough glow from embers to reflect on Zach and she touched his cheek lightly. “The doctor said your foot is healed, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did,” Zach said, smiling. “I can toss this boot and wear my shoes. My own boots have to wait a while, but eventually, I can wear them.”

“So my job ends this week. Christmas is coming and I wanted off anyway.”

“I’ll be gone for Christmas, but I’ll come back afterwards and that’s when I’m taking you out. I’d stay if you’d stay with me for a few weeks, but you’ll want to be home for Christmas.”

“Yes, I will,” she said, hurting, even though she had known this time was approaching.

“I’ll be in touch with you,” he said. Glancing over his shoulder, he shifted away to stand and put another log on the fire. He returned to pull her close against him, warm body against warm body as he wrapped his legs with hers.

He combed her long hair away from her face with his fingers. Tingles followed each stroke and she could feel their hearts beating together.

“This is paradise, Emma.”

How she longed to hear him say words of love. Common sense told her that would not happen, but wishes and dreams came with his strong arms holding her and his light kisses making her feel loved.

All were illusions that would disappear with the morning sun. For now she could pretend, wish, hope, give herself to fantasies that normally she wouldn’t entertain for a minute.

She kissed him lightly in return.

The fire crackled and burned, causing dancing dark shadows and bathing Zach’s body in orange.

“You’re very quiet,” he said.

“I’m savoring the moment.”

“I’m savoring holding you close. Sometime tonight we’ll get in a bed, but not yet.”

Eventually, they gathered their clothing and each went to shower. They put away the dinner Rosie had cooked and made sandwiches to eat in front of the fire and sat and talked until Zach stood and took her hand.

“Let’s go upstairs and I’ll build a fire in my room. I can do stairs now with ease.” He placed his arm across her shoulders as they climbed the stairs, leading her down the hall to his suite of rooms where he took her into his arms to kiss her.

Wednesday, she gave all her time to the letters. Zach’s work had dwindled as Christmas approached, so since Thanksgiving she had devoted her time to trying to get through as many of the letters and memorabilia as she could.

She hoped someone else in the Delaney family wanted the letters because the few she had read to Zach and the ones he had read himself had not changed his feelings about them. He always sent them to the discard pile.

By Friday, the tension from being constantly around him—loving him, but not able to make him truly hers—was greater than ever. Today would change everything. Today she would return to Dallas, to her life before meeting Zach. Even though he had talked about seeing her after Christmas, she didn’t expect to see Zach again.

Early that morning Rosie cooked while Emma ate breakfast. Halfway through breakfast, Emma felt sick and dashed to the bathroom. When she returned, she carried what was left of her breakfast back to the kitchen.

“Rosie, I can’t eat any more. I felt sick and now food doesn’t look good.”

Rosie turned to study her while she dried her hands and took the dishes from Emma. “You were sick yesterday morning.”

Emma looked at Rosie and met a speculative gaze. “My period is late,” Emma said, confessing what had been worrying her each day. “I shouldn’t be sick no matter what, but I am.”

“Bless your heart,” Rosie said, hugging Emma lightly. Emma stood immobile, stunned. Fear had blossomed earlier over a week ago. She had pushed away the nagging worry, telling herself it was her imagination. But it was too many days now for it to be her imagination. Two days in a row, she had been sick during breakfast and then it was gone.

“Rosie, I have two married sisters and a sister-in-law. They all have babies. I’ve seen both my sisters have morning sickness.” Emma felt chilled and trembled. “Rosie, this wasn’t in my plans.”

“You don’t know for certain, do you?”

“No. I’ll get a pregnancy test this weekend when I go to Dallas. I already have a doctor’s appointment for next week.”

Rosie placed her hands on her hips while she faced Emma. “Then don’t start worrying now. The stomach upset might be something you ate and your period could start tomorrow. How late are you?”

“A week now.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “That’s not enough to give you a worry. A few days is nothing. Wait a few weeks.”

Emma nodded, but she was not reassured. “I’m extremely on time almost to the hour, so this is unique.” Suddenly, to the depths, she was certain she was pregnant with Zach’s baby. Her head swam and for an instant she felt light-headed. She reached out to grasp the kitchen counter to steady herself. Rosie’s hand closed on her arm.

“Are you all right?”

Rosie’s expression showed concern that threatened panic. “Rosie, promise me—please don’t say anything yet until I know for sure.”

“I would never. Don’t give it another worry. That’s not my business and I don’t interfere in something like this. I’ll not say anything.” Rosie’s brow furrowed and her eyes were filled with concern.

“I don’t panic over things, but I feel panicky over this. I feel so out of control.”

“Wait until you’ve seen a doctor and know absolutely,” Rosie said, but her voice held only solicitude.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen,” Emma whispered, more to herself than Rosie.

“Some things are just out of our hands,” Rosie declared. “Go back to your room and lie down if you need to.” She took Emma’s icy hand in her soft, warm hands, briefly and then released her. “You have a big, loving family. They’ll take care of you and a little one.”

A little one. Emma shook and clenched her hands. Rosie hadn’t said a word about Zach being helpful. Was this going to be a huge shock—and an unpleasant one for him? Would it be a responsibility he didn’t want? He had talked about how unprepared Will had been for Caroline. On the other hand, Zach seemed to truly care for Caroline and he had been a wreck when they couldn’t find her. Of all men on earth—”I’m going to my room if he comes asking for me,” she said, suddenly wanting to get behind closed doors and adjust to what was happening before she faced another person. “This is my last day. He doesn’t need to know until I’m sure.”

“I promise. You have your secret,” Rosie said, nodding and going back to doing dishes.

Emma hurried out and raced out of sight, rushing to her room where she crossed the room to place her hands on her flat middle. “I can’t be,” she whispered.

In her dressing room she studied herself in the mirror, turning first one way and another. She had watched two sisters and a sister-in-law go through pregnancies. She looked in the mirror, running her hands over her flat stomach. There were no single mothers in her family.

Zach. How could she ever tell a man who wouldn’t even spend Christmas with his family that he was about to become a father?