Читать книгу Christmas Brides And Babies Collection - Rebecca Winters - Страница 44

HE BENT HIS HEAD.

Luci lifted her chin, offering her lips to him, and he claimed them. Claimed her.

He kissed her firmly, just like he’d been wanting to.

He pressed his lips to hers. She tasted of salt and she smelt of sunshine.

She parted her lips, opening her mouth to him. His tongue darted inside, tasting her, touching her. He couldn’t control his desire. She was irresistible. But while his own lack of control surprised him she surprised him more when she kissed him back. His hands slid down her back and over the bow of her bikini top. With one flick of his fingers he could untie that bow and he would be able to feel the swell of her breasts pressed against him, skin to skin. But this time he did resist. He moved his hands lower until they cupped her buttocks instead. Firm and round, they fitted perfectly into his palms.

He pulled her into him, pressing her against him as he deepened the kiss. Her mouth was warm, soft and inviting. Her body was cool and soft under his hands.

His body was hard and firm and he held himself back. He didn’t want to overpower her.

He felt her hands on his chest. They were cool over his racing heart.

She pushed gently against him, pulling away.

She looked up at him. Her blue-grey eyes were enormous, her pupils dilated. She was panting softly. She was out of breath, they both were.

They stood in silence, looking at each other, waiting for someone to say something. He wasn’t going to apologise for kissing her. It had been the right time and the right place and she certainly hadn’t resisted. But now she looked unsure. Albeit thoroughly kissed.

Her lips were dark pink now, almost red. She didn’t look upset. Just uncertain.

He didn’t think she wanted an apology. She hadn’t objected but now she looked wary.

‘Should I stop?’ he asked.

She didn’t reply immediately. She just stood, wrapped in his arms, staring up at him, and he could almost see her thoughts spinning in her brain, swirling behind her eyes.

‘I don’t know what you should do. I don’t know what I should do,’ she replied. ‘I can’t think.’

‘Did I make you uncomfortable?’ He wasn’t going to apologise for kissing her. He wasn’t sorry and he didn’t think she was either.

‘It’s not that.’ She paused and stepped away. ‘But I wasn’t expecting it.’

‘The kiss?’ he asked. He was pretty sure she’d seen it coming.

She shook her head. ‘No. How it felt.’

He thought it had been amazing but his heart stopped for a second as he wondered if perhaps she hadn’t been quite so astounded. ‘And how was that?’ he couldn’t stop himself from asking. He had to know.

‘Different.’

‘Good different?’ He had never fished for compliments before but he had to know if the kiss had rocked her world in the same way it had his.

‘Good and different. I don’t know if there’s such a thing as “good different”. I’m not used to different. I think that’s the unexpected thing. I’m not used to kissing a man I’ve just met. I’m not used to kissing anyone except my ex-husband.’

‘Really?’ That was it? She’d had one relationship?

‘Ben and I were together since I was fifteen. I’ve only been divorced six months.’

In that sentence lay the answers to several of his questions, the first being how long she had been divorced, but the second answer was even more telling. If she’d been ready to move on from her marriage then six months was a reasonable length of time, but if the end of her marriage hadn’t been something she’d chosen then a period of readjustment was only normal. She’d said her husband had met someone else. Seb guessed she wasn’t ready to do the same. But that didn’t preclude them from having some fun. Not if she wanted to. It was all up to her.

‘I get it. You need time.’

‘Don’t get me wrong. It felt good but I don’t know if it felt right. I’m not sure what I should be doing. I don’t know if I need more time but part of me feels like I should be a bit cautious and the other part is saying just close your eyes and jump.’

‘Only you can make that decision,’ he said. He wanted her to jump, he desperately wanted her to jump, but he knew that wasn’t his call. ‘Let me know what you decide. I’m not going to put any pressure on you but I will say this—you’re only here for a few weeks. We can enjoy each other’s company, no strings attached, no commitment, and then say goodbye. But it’s up to you. Think about it. You know where to find me.’

He dropped his arms from around her waist and leaned back to open the gate, allowing them to step into the boat.

They spent the rest of the afternoon talking. Conversation flowed easily, there were no awkward pauses, but the awareness was always there. He could feel the tension in the air around them, crackling and sparking, but they both ignored it. They talked about work, about places he’d visited and her home town; they talked about everything but the kiss they’d shared and where they were going to go from there.

He was serious about his suggestion, though. He was pretty sure she wasn’t the one for him long term, it was obvious she wanted to settle down and have a family, something that was definitely not on his agenda, but she was only in town for eight weeks and he was only committed to Sydney for six weeks. There was no reason they couldn’t have some fun together. They could enjoy each other’s company and then say goodbye. But he would give her space. For now. This had to be her decision.

Luci towelled herself dry and slipped her sundress over her head. She’d had enough time in the sun but the extra layer wasn’t to prevent sunburn, it was to provide her with a bit of a barrier. Not that it afforded much protection but she needed all help she could get to ensure she didn’t just throw herself back into Seb’s arms.

She should be having doubts and reservations. She had known him for less than three days and she had never kissed a man she barely knew before. She’d never properly kissed anyone other than her ex-husband.

She should be having doubts and reservations about kissing him, full stop, but that wasn’t the issue. It wasn’t Seb who was making her nervous but the consequences of her actions.

She didn’t want to make a mistake or do anything that might jeopardise her time in Sydney. There were more important things than kissing a handsome stranger. They had to live together and work together. There were a whole lot of reasons why she should keep her distance and only one thing, her hormones, was telling her differently.

She was a single adult, there was no rule saying she couldn’t take this further, but she really wasn’t sure if she was ready. She needed some ground rules. She’d never done ‘no strings attached’ and she wasn’t sure if she could. Until she had processed the idea she felt it would be wise to keep her distance.

The kiss had been amazing. She’d seen it coming and she hadn’t stopped him. She hadn’t wanted to. She’d wanted to touch him, to taste him, but she hadn’t realised how hard it would make it to deny herself more. It was going to be difficult. She would have to find other ways of keeping busy. If she was busy she wouldn’t have time to think about him.

Seb had pulled some more food out of the ice box and assembled a picnic lunch. Luci was starving and she was more than happy to sample the selection. While she was eating she couldn’t talk but when they did talk Seb kept the conversation neutral. They talked about inconsequential things, a polite conversation between two virtual strangers, skirting around the issue that she couldn’t stop thinking about.

But not talking about the kiss didn’t stop her from thinking about it.

Seb shoved the crowbar behind the last of the kitchen cabinets in the galley of his boat. He had spent most of his spare time for the past week hunkered down, removing the shower and the kitchen cabinetry. The carpenter had told him not to expect the new fittings to be ready for installation for another fortnight but he needed to dismantle the old fixtures and he needed to keep himself occupied.

The demolition work was achieving three things—he was progressing nicely with his renovations, he was keeping his mind occupied, to a point, and he was keeping his distance from Luci. He had promised to give her time and space but over the past couple of days he’d found that if he spent too much time in the same space as her it was becoming increasingly difficult to resist the pull of attraction. It was difficult to be around her and not touch her. All he wanted to do when she was around him was to explore their attraction but he had promised not to push her.

Once again his boat was his sanctuary but this time he didn’t need it to help him over his heartbreak. This time it was to keep his mind off his desire rather than his despair. The physical work was a good antidote for the desire. He was so knackered by the end of the day that he would fall straight to sleep when he went to bed. That was a fourth benefit of the demolition work.

He’d had several brief affairs over the past three years but he had been very careful to avoid meaningful relationships. If Luci was willing there was nothing stopping them from having some fun, as her time in Sydney was limited anyway, but he realised she might still be working through her own issues. It would probably be wise to spend some time working out whether her issues were major or minor. He wasn’t prepared to get involved in anything too emotional—a physical relationship was fine but he didn’t want anything more serious than that.

There were all sorts of reasons why he should avoid Luci and he knew them all, he’d been running over them constantly.

She had led a sheltered life. A very sheltered life.

They had to work together.

They had to live together.

It was all a little bit too close.

But that didn’t alter the fact that he was excited by Luci and it had been a long time since he’d been excited by anything.

Although he knew it still might be better to avoid her he couldn’t avoid her completely. They had to work together and on Friday afternoon she knocked on his consulting-room door. He could smell her before he saw her. She smelt of frangipani.

‘Hi,’ he said as he looked up. ‘How’s it going?’

‘Good.’

She smiled at him and her blue-grey eyes sparkled. She looked happy. She glowed and he had the sense that she was filled with light that then spilled out to brighten everyone else’s day. At least, that’s how he felt when she was around.

‘Melanie Parsons is in the clinic today,’ Luci told him. ‘She has an appointment with the psychologist and then I’m going to do the health check on her four-year-old. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see her.’

‘Good idea. What time is she booked in with you?’ he asked as he looked at his diary.

‘She’s next. I’m just going to grab a coffee and by then she should be done with the psych consult. Give me ten minutes to get started on the toddler check and then come in.’

Luci was just helping Harper down from the exam table when Seb knocked on the door. She took Harper out of the room to the play area where Harper’s two-year-old brother was busy with the building blocks while Seb caught up with Melanie. When she returned Seb had been given the update on the two psychologist appointments Melanie had already had.

‘We are working on my responses so that I can try to manage the situation,’ Melanie told him. ‘And then we’re going to tackle the best way to get Brad in for a session as well.’

Milo was strapped into his pram in the corner of the room. He started to grizzle.

‘Sorry,’ Melanie apologised, ‘He’s due for a feed.’

Seb thought it was interesting that Melanie felt she needed to apologise for something that was perfectly understandable. She started to get out of her chair to attend to the baby when Luci offered her help.

‘Don’t worry about him. I’ll see if I can settle him for a bit, let you finish with Dr Hollingsworth.’ Luci lifted Milo out of the stroller. She blew a raspberry on his foot and his grizzles stopped, becoming happy chortling instead. She laid him on the exam table and distracted him with a mirror and a game of peek-a-boo, allowing Melanie to continue.

The young mother was watching Luci play with Milo while she spoke to Seb. ‘And I think I need to make an appointment to discuss a more reliable form of contraception. After this next one I reckon I’m done. Some days I feel like I’m not even managing with the three I already have.’

Seb’s antennae went up. ‘I’ll speak to the psychologist and recommend that you continue with regular visits until a few months after this next baby is born.’ He didn’t want to let Melanie slip through the cracks in the system. If she needed help and support he wanted to make sure she got it. For her sake and for her children’s sake.

‘Thank you,’ she replied with a nod as she stood up, preparing to leave. She picked Milo up from the exam table to put him back into his stroller. ‘Do you have kids, Luci?’ she asked.

Melanie was bending over, strapping Milo into his pram, and she missed Luci’s expression. But Seb didn’t. She looked like someone had slapped her.

‘No, I don’t,’ Luci replied.

‘You should. You’re a natural.’

‘Mmm-hmm.’ Luci turned away and Seb wasn’t able to see her face. He couldn’t tell if her expression had changed or not.

‘I don’t seem to have the energy,’ Melanie remarked.

‘I imagine managing them twenty-four-seven is very different from seeing them for ten minutes at a time,’ Luci said. ‘I’m not surprised you’re tired.’

‘Exhausted is the word, I think. But I’ll get through it. What other choice do I have?’ she remarked as she pushed the pram towards the door.

‘Are you okay?’ Seb asked Luci the moment Melanie left the room.

‘I’m fine.’

She didn’t look fine.

‘I’m concerned about Melanie, though,’ she said, changing the subject. ‘Do you still think the kids are safe?’

‘How was Harper’s health check?’ he asked, letting her change of topic go—for now. ‘Were there any red flags with her weight or teeth or any unexplained bruises?’

Luci shook her head. ‘Everything was within normal ranges.’

‘I’ve never seen any signs of neglect or abuse. The kids are clean and well fed. I think she’s coping. Maybe just, at times, but I don’t think the kids are in any danger.’ If he thought the children were in any danger he wouldn’t sit on his hands. ‘Her kids’ welfare comes before her own, which is part of the problem, but also why I’ll insist that she continue with regular psych reviews. If anything changes, hopefully we’ll pick up on it.’

Luci was nodding but she still looked upset. He felt that he’d learned to read her expressions in just a few days and he was still worried about her. He wanted to find out why she’d looked so shocked. He ignored his self-imposed ban. He wanted to spend time with her. ‘Have you got plans tonight?’ he asked.

‘Only to cook up a stir-fry.’

‘Would there be enough for two?’

‘You’ll be home?’

So she’d noticed that he’d been MIA. He wondered if she had missed him. He nodded and offered, ‘I’ll bring wine.’

‘Sure.’

‘Dinner smells good.’

Seb’s voice startled her and made Luci jump. She had her head over the wok and the sizzle as she fried the garlic and crushed chilli had blocked out all other sounds.

‘It’s just chicken and noodles,’ she said as she scraped the marinated chicken strips into the pan. The aroma of fried garlic always smelt good but she hadn’t really thought about the practicalities of serving up a dish laden with garlic. Oh, well, she supposed it was one way to make sure Seb didn’t kiss her again.

She glanced over her shoulder when she heard the familiar snap as Seb broke the seal on the screw top on the bottle of wine he held. He poured two glasses and handed one to her before leaning back on the kitchen bench.

Was he planning on hanging around in the kitchen while she cooked?

She’d been surprised that he was free tonight. He’d barely been home all week. She’d heard him come in late at night but he definitely hadn’t been home for a meal and she’d expected he would have other plans. She’d wondered if he had been deliberately avoiding her and had thought about shooing him out of the kitchen now, but dinner would only take five minutes so she may as well enjoy his company. Sitting home alone was no fun.

The house had been far too quiet this week without Seb. She still wasn’t used to being on her own. After her divorce she’d formed a habit of eating at her parents’ house a couple of times a week or sharing a meal with Flick. But being in Sydney, where she didn’t have a large network of friends, had made her nights long and lonely. She’d never really been on her own before and she’d discovered she didn’t like it. But that didn’t mean she was going to fall for the first guy to cross her path. She needed to develop some resistance along with her independence.

She sipped her wine, hoping it would calm her nerves. It felt like they were on a date. Not that she really knew how that felt. She and Ben had been together since high school and she couldn’t even remember their first date, but she guessed it would have been at a school friend’s birthday party. They had probably played silly party games and drunk some wine they’d pinched from a parent’s cellar.

She wished she was cooking something a bit more complicated than a stir-fry, something that required more attention. Something that would require her focus but, as it was, she could whip up a stir-fry blindfolded and that meant she had plenty of time to think about Seb.

Even though she hadn’t seen much of him that week she could always tell when he’d been to the apartment. She could smell him. The air was different and even now, despite the aroma of garlic and chilli, she could still smell him. He had showered after work—that must have been while she’d been at the supermarket—and she could smell soap and aftershave. He’d changed into a pair of stone-coloured shorts with a fresh navy T-shirt. His feet were bare and he looked relaxed and comfortable. He certainly didn’t look nervous or like he was dressed for a date.

Luci took another sip of wine and concentrated on copying Seb’s calm approach as she served up the stir-fry and sat at the table opposite him.

He tucked into the bowl of noodles, scooping up several forkfuls before he paused to take a breath.

‘This tastes great, thank you,’ he said, as he topped up their wine glasses.

Luci had intended to do some studying after dinner but she could fast see that plan disappearing if she had too much wine but she didn’t refuse the top-up. After a week of lonely nights it made a pleasant change to share a meal with someone. And it was even more pleasant when that someone was Seb.

‘Two weeks down, how’s it been going?’ he asked her as he sipped his wine. ‘Have you recovered from Melanie’s visit?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Something she said upset you.’

‘You noticed that?’

‘I did. What was it?’

‘I know she didn’t mean any harm but if I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I had kids I’d have paid off my mortgage. I just don’t understand why so many clients feel they have a right to ask personal questions.’

‘I think she thought you were a natural with kids. She meant it as a compliment.’

‘I realise that but I didn’t expect that every second person would ask me if I have children. I bet they don’t ask you the same thing, do they?’

‘Some do,’ he admitted, ‘but I guess it probably is more of a question between women.’

‘They all seem to assume that if a woman is working in family health or paediatrics or obstetrics she would either have kids or want them.’

‘But you do want them.’

‘Yes, but I don’t want to think about it all the time. Obviously my divorce has changed my plans somewhat. I’m not exactly in a position to start a family but I don’t want to tell clients my life story.’

‘Fair enough.’

‘I guess I hadn’t anticipated that the subject of children would be raised so often. I need to find an answer to the most popular question, which is, “So, Luci, do you have children?”’

‘Why don’t you just tell them that you’re only young? You’ve got plenty of time.’

It wasn’t a bad suggestion. It wasn’t Seb’s fault that time wasn’t on her side but he didn’t know that.

‘A lot of these mothers are younger than me. I don’t want them to feel I’m judging them. If I had my way I would have had children by now. All I’ve wanted, all my life, was to have kids and to be a young mum. My parents are old. Dad is almost seventy and Mum is a couple of years younger. They are wonderful parents but growing up I really noticed their age. Especially in my town where so many people start their families young, my parents could have been my grandparents and I didn’t want to be like that. I also want more than one child. I was an only child and I didn’t want that for my kids. Having a family has been my dream since I was a teenager.’

‘Why don’t you tell them you’re waiting for the right man, then?’ He scooped up the last mouthful of his dinner and didn’t speak again until he’d finished it. ‘Or do you think you had the right one in Ben?’

‘Obviously I did when I married him.’ She had thought that was it for her. As far as she’d been concerned, her life had been sorted when she’d walked down the aisle and become a wife. Until she’d found that it could easily be unsorted.

Ben couldn’t have been the right man for her. If he had been, surely they’d still be together? Or perhaps she just wasn’t the right woman for him. But when they’d got married she hadn’t known what else was out there. Neither of them had. Ben had found someone he felt suited him better and Luci had to hope that there was someone else out there for her too.

What would her perfect man be like?

She looked across the table. She suspected he would be a lot like Seb. That was dangerous territory. She needed a change of topic. A safer direction. ‘How was your week?’ she asked. ‘I barely saw you. Have you changed your mind about sharing the house?’

‘No. I wanted to give you some space. Being around you was testing my limits. It’s been difficult to put you in the “friend” zone so I thought it would be best if I stayed out of the way. I’ve been working on my boat.’

Hearing Seb put their situation like that made her wonder if she wanted to be in the ‘friend’ zone. She didn’t think she did but she was still confused about what she should be doing. It was still safer not to do anything. He hadn’t apologised for kissing her. She was glad about that. The kiss had been good, she didn’t want an apology, but she wasn’t ready to revisit it either.

He was looking at her so directly but she couldn’t respond. It was safer not to reply to his comment. To break eye contact, she stood and picked up their empty bowls, clearing the table. She took the bowls to the sink and rinsed them, keeping her back to Seb.

‘You don’t need to stay out of the house, that doesn’t seem fair.’ She found her voice once she wasn’t looking at him.

‘I thought it was easiest for both of us. I promised I wouldn’t make you uncomfortable.’

‘I’m not uncomfortable. I just can’t jump into another relationship.’ Even though she was tempted. ‘I know I should spread my wings but jumping into something with the first man who crosses my path doesn’t really fit that. I think I need to test the water. I’ve never even been on a proper first date. Maybe I should be the one who spends more time out of the house. Maybe I should meet some more people.’

Seb had been hoping to hear Luci say she’d made a decision. His ego had let him believe that if he gave her time and space she’d miss him. But perhaps she had a point. Perhaps she did need to meet other people. Perhaps then she would see that he could be the perfect person with whom to test the water.

But maybe he had a solution to this dilemma.

‘I’ve been invited to a dinner party tomorrow night. If you’d like to come with me it would give you a chance to meet some other people.’

He hadn’t actually thought about going until just now. The whole premise of the evening hadn’t appealed to him but now, with Luci’s provisos, it was suddenly more attractive.

When Ginny had invited him he’d declined the invitation. That had become his habit over the past three years but he knew Ginny wouldn’t mind a last-minute change of mind. They had been friends since high school and she had made a lot of effort to keep in contact, especially recently. Even when Seb had been difficult and unsociable, Ginny had kept him in the loop, inviting him to parties and functions. He’d declined almost all of her invitations but he appreciated the fact that she hadn’t given up on him. Perhaps it was time he said yes.

‘Like a date?’ Luci queried.