Читать книгу Christmas Brides And Babies Collection - Rebecca Winters - Страница 50

SEB HAD FINISHED his stint at the family and community health clinic. He was gone and Luci was doing her best to focus on her job. She had two days left before she went back to Vickers Hill for Christmas. She still hadn’t decided what she would do after that. She’d make a final decision after the Christmas break. Hopefully by then her head would have cleared and she’d be able to think straight. She was having difficulty focusing, her thoughts turning constantly to Seb, and her heart was hurting so badly it was making her feel nauseous. She knew she had done the right thing, saying goodbye to him, but that wasn’t making it any less painful.

The nausea was so bad today that she’d actually vomited up her breakfast and hadn’t been able to keep anything down since. She felt like she might have contracted a virus. She had five minutes before her next appointment so she quickly took her temperature while she checked her emails. There was one from the doctor’s wife in Budgee and Luci noticed it had been copied to Seb. She scanned the message. The doctor’s wife had forwarded it from Nadine. She had wanted to send photos of her twins to Seb and Luci.

Luci opened the attachment. The twins appeared to be thriving. It was amazing to see how much they had developed in four weeks. They were both starting to fill out and their chocolate-brown eyes were shining. Luci felt a pang of envy but she had hope now and the knowledge that one day she might be holding a baby of her own in her arms was making it easier to cope with all the pregnant clients and newborn babies she seemed to have on her list.

After an uncertain start in community health she was now enjoying getting to know her patients and being able to give continuity of care was rewarding. It was very different from working in a hospital and she had managed to establish good relationships with several of the regular clients, which was extremely satisfying. Melanie Parsons was a good example. She and her kids had been in to see her several times and Melanie appeared to be coping much better. She and her husband were both attending counselling and her husband had also joined AA. Luci was pleased that she had been able to witness what she hoped would be the start of something better for their family. Seeing the change in Melanie and getting emails from patients like Nadine made her feel that she was making a difference and doing something worthwhile, even if her heart was breaking.

The thermometer beeped and Luci closed her emails and read the display as her diary flashed to indicate that her next client had arrived. Her temperature was slightly elevated—she’d take something for that after she’d finished her next consult.

‘What can I help you with today, Shauna?’ she asked as her client sat and settled her toddler on her knee.

‘I think I might be pregnant again.’

Luci waited for the usual stab of jealousy but it didn’t come. She didn’t need to feel jealous any more, she was certain pregnancy would happen for her one day. ‘Have you done a test?’

‘I’ve done a couple,’ Shauna said. ‘One came back positive and one was negative but I’ve got all the usual symptoms. I feel sick, my boobs hurt and I need to go to the toilet constantly. I thought maybe you could do another test.’

Luci took a jar for a urine sample from the cupboard and handed it to Shauna.

She tested it when Shauna returned. ‘It’s negative. When was your last period?’

‘Three weeks ago.’

‘It might just be too early.’

The conversation made Luci think of her own situation. When had her last period been? she wondered. She did a quick mental calculation. It had been almost six weeks ago.

She and Seb had practised safe sex most of the time but that night on Seb’s boat, during the thunderstorm and in the heat of the moment, protection had been the last thing on her mind. She hadn’t thought anything of it then. Sex that night had been spontaneous, contraception hadn’t been an issue for her then, and she hadn’t given it a moment’s thought.

Maybe she was pregnant?

But that eventuality was more than likely just wishful thinking. Mind over matter. She was probably putting two and two together and getting five, she thought. But the minute Shauna left the consulting room she took a standard pregnancy test from the cupboard for herself.

She took it into the bathroom. She knew what she was looking for. She’d done dozens of these. She was looking for two pink lines.

She waited. She’d never seen the two pink lines before.

Until today.

She double-checked the window. She leaned over the basin and triple-checked but the lines still remained.

Her knees buckled and she sat back on the toilet seat.

That explained the nausea and her slightly elevated temperature.

Her hand went to her stomach.

She was pregnant.

Seb was into his second week of holidays. He should be somewhere far away from Sydney. His plan had been to take his boat and travel but he hadn’t been able to bring himself to leave. Not while Luci was still in town.

He’d realised too late that he should never have left so hurriedly the night Luci had said goodbye. He should have stayed and argued his case, only he hadn’t known he’d had a case. Not then.

His knee-jerk reaction had been to leave. He didn’t want to settle down, to commit—at least, that was what he’d been telling himself for three years—and it had taken him a while to realise he’d changed his mind. That Luci had made him change his mind. She had brought the light back into his life and her absence had taken it away again.

They had said goodbye but he hadn’t been able to sever the ties so he sat on his boat, alone, in Fairlight Bay, watching the lights go on and off in Callum’s apartment and wondering what Luci was up to. How she was doing. If she was missing him.

For the past three years he had been working toward fixing his boat, making it habitable on a permanent basis, but now he felt trapped. It was supposed to be his sanctuary but instead it felt like a prison cell. He escaped its confines every day, taking his bike from the garage he’d rented and cruising the highways, but the feeling of freedom never lasted. He didn’t want to be free. He didn’t want to be able to come and go as he pleased. He didn’t want to be alone. He wanted to be with Luci.

He shouldn’t miss her and he knew he should be pleased for her. She had an opportunity to be a mother, had a chance to get what she’d always wanted. But he wanted that to be him.

He had spent the last three years convincing himself, and everyone else, that he was fine, that he was happy to be alone, but he hadn’t stopped to see if he actually was and now that Luci was gone from his life and he was alone again he realised that he wasn’t okay. He needed her in his life.

He needed her.

He loved her.

And he didn’t want to think about Luci finding another man. He didn’t want to give someone else the chance he’d thrown away.

Once again he hadn’t realised how badly he wanted something until it was gone but, unlike last time, it wasn’t too late. He wanted Luci in his life and he would do what he could to keep her.

She wanted a family and he wanted her. Could he give her what she wanted?

He was going to have to because he couldn’t imagine his life without her in it.

All he needed to know was whether or not she wanted him.

He knew she was due to leave Sydney tomorrow but he didn’t know where she was headed. What were her plans? What was she going to do?

He only had a few hours to find out. It was two days until Christmas and Luci was due to leave Sydney on Christmas Eve.

He had one last chance to see her.

Luci had finished cleaning the apartment. She was leaving tomorrow. She would be back in Vickers Hill for Christmas.

She went into Callum’s bedroom, just for one final check to make sure it was clean and tidy, although she knew it was. Seb had changed the sheets and tidied up. She knew because she was in here every day, thinking about him. She sat on the bed and ran her hands over the covers. They were tucked tight, not a stray crease in sight. Almost as if Seb had never been there.

She thought about the first night they’d made love. It had been in this bed. They’d been in too much of a hurry to get any further; they’d barely made it to here. But the bed showed no sign of their intimacy. It was almost as if it never happened.

But she had proof that it wasn’t a dream.

Her hand went to her stomach.

There was the proof of what they had shared. She had all the proof she needed.

She had two things left to do—pack her bags and then see if she could get hold of Seb.

She had debated about when she should speak to him, when she should give him the news. She had thought about waiting until thirteen weeks, or maybe even eighteen, after her first scan, until she knew everything was all right, but she had decided it would be better to tell him face-to-face while she was still in Sydney, and she knew part of her wanted an excuse to see him one last time before she left.

There would be no easy way to share her news and she knew he didn’t like surprises but he had the right to know about the baby. Their baby.

He had the right to have the opportunity to choose to be involved. Or not. She had no idea what he would choose to do but that was his prerogative.

Luci hadn’t really ever expected to end up a single mother. Before the phone call from her GP she had assumed she would have to adopt in order to have a family and adopting in South Australia meant she needed a partner. She had assumed she would need to find a man.

But now she had the opportunity she’d been wanting—the chance to be a mother. A month ago she would have leapt at the chance, any chance, to hold a baby of her own in her arms, so why did she now want more? She knew she could manage on her own. She knew she didn’t need a partner. The trouble was, this wasn’t about what she needed. It was about what she wanted.

So she was getting what she’d always wanted, except now she wanted more. She wanted Seb too.

Although she knew she should be content with what was in store for her, it was hard when her heart ached constantly for what was missing from her life. She had traded one heartache for another. Why couldn’t she have it all?

She stood up. She needed to get moving. Procrastination never solved anything.

She was staring at the clothes in her wardrobe, wondering where to start, when she was interrupted by a knock on the door.

She opened the door and burst into tears.

Seb was standing on the other side.

‘Luci, what on earth’s the matter?’ he asked as he stepped across the threshold. He opened his arms and gathered her up, holding her close.

She let him comfort her. She was right where she wanted to be. If only she could just stay here, maybe everything would turn out as she hoped.

She cried into his shoulder and sniffed as she said, ‘Nothing, I’m just tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.’ Plus I’m an emotional wreck and I’m carrying your baby. But that was not the way to deliver her news.

‘Are you unwell?’

He stepped back, releasing her from his arms but not letting go completely. It felt good to have her in his arms again but he’d needed to see her. He’d needed to make sure she was okay. She looked like she had lost weight and her blue-grey eyes were filled with tears, but otherwise she looked fantastic. Her skin glowed and she looked perfectly healthy.

‘No,’ she said. ‘I’m fine. I’m glad you’re here.’

‘Are you sure? You don’t look happy to see me.’

She laughed and Seb breathed a sigh of relief. She sounded like the Luci he loved, full of laughter and happiness even if she had just been sobbing in his arms.

‘Of course I am. I’ve missed you.’

Good. That cheered him up. Perhaps things would turn out in his favour. ‘I’ve missed you too.’

She was looking up at him. Her eyes were shining and her pink lips were slightly parted, like an opening rosebud. He had come here to talk to her, to beg her for another chance, but he couldn’t resist. He bent his head and kissed her.

She sighed gently and leaned into him and he felt her arms loop around his neck as she kissed him back. Soft and supple in his arms, he could feel his soul being restored as he held her. She tasted like heaven and he wished he could stay like this for eternity.

But he needed to find out if that was possible.

‘Luci,’ he sighed as he pulled away. He kept a finger under her chin, keeping her face tilted up at him. ‘I need to talk to you.’

‘Oh.’ Something flashed behind her eyes. Was it disappointment?

He took her hand and led her to the couch. The place was spotless and its tidiness served to remind him that his time was limited. If he didn’t get this problem resolved tonight, it would be too late. She would be gone.

He kept hold of her hand as they sat, making her sit close to him.

‘What is it?’ she asked. ‘Is something wrong?’

Seb nodded. ‘Yes. I’ve made a mistake. A big one. But I’m hoping it’s not too late to fix it. I’ve discovered a pattern.’

‘A pattern?’

‘It’s a problem I have,’ he told her, ‘where I can’t seem to work out I want something until it’s gone. But I’m hoping this time I haven’t left it too late.’

‘I’m not following you. Left what too late?’

‘Us. I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to let you go.’ He picked up her other hand, holding them both, keeping her close. ‘You have brought light back into my life. A purpose. An energy. A reason to look forward to the day. I didn’t know what my life was lacking until you came into it. I thought I was okay on my own. Happy even. But I was kidding myself. I was surviving. I wasn’t living and I definitely wasn’t happy.

‘I’ve missed you,’ he said honestly. ‘I look for you, I listen for you. I want to hear your laugh, I want to see your smile. I want to be the one who makes you smile. I don’t want you to leave. I came here tonight to ask if you would consider staying in Sydney. With me. I want to see if we can make something of this thing between us. Before it’s too late.’

He very rarely spoke about his feelings and he certainly hadn’t bared as much of his soul in the past three years but it didn’t seem to make any difference. Luci was shaking her head. ‘It is too late. I’m going home.’

‘Back to Vickers Hill?’

She nodded.

Seb’s heart plummeted like a stone and settled heavily and morosely in his abdomen. He was losing her. ‘I thought you’d decided that wasn’t the place for you.’

‘My circumstances have changed.’

How much could have changed in two weeks? Did she feel nothing for him?

‘Have you met someone else?’ Surely she couldn’t have moved on that quickly? He didn’t want to think of her with other men. He didn’t want to imagine her searching for someone else to share her dream. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t she choose him?

‘No, of course not. This is a practical decision. A financial one. I can’t afford to start again.’

Despite the flicker of hope that had come to life as soon as Seb had started talking, Luci had other things to consider now. Another person to consider. She couldn’t allow herself to get carried away until she was sure of Seb’s feelings. Vickers Hill had been good enough for her growing up, it was a good place to raise a family and she would have support there. All the things she had hated at times about a small country town were now the reasons she was moving back. She knew people would rally around her. If she was going to be a single mother she wanted to do it somewhere familiar. Somewhere safe. ‘This is the next stage of my journey.’

‘Can you take that next stage with me?’

She shook her head, still determined not to jump head first too soon. ‘You know I can’t. You know what I want. Being a mother is something I’ve always wanted. If I have to choose between having a family and having you, I will choose children. I’m sorry. I wish I could have both but that’s up to you.’

Luci had dreamed of Seb choosing to be with her but he had to choose everything. He had to choose her dream as well as her. This was her chance to see how he felt without telling him about the baby. She didn’t want to force his hand, she didn’t want him to feel that he had to make promises he wouldn’t be able to keep, but she had nothing to lose now. If he didn’t want a family she could still walk away.

‘Luci, I love you and I want a future with you.’

‘You love me?’

‘I do. I know you want a family and I’m asking you to give me a chance. Let’s see if we can have that future together.’

‘I can’t afford to wait. I haven’t got time to see if it all works out. I can’t.’ She took a deep breath. It was now or never. She was either going to get what she wished for or not but either way the time had come to share her news. ‘I’m already pregnant.’

‘What? When? How?’

‘The usual way, I suppose. Ironic, isn’t it? I didn’t think it could happen for me the usual way but it must have been that night on the boat.’

‘In the storm?’

Luci nodded. ‘I’m sorry. I know you hate surprises but you need to know.’

‘Don’t be sorry.’ Seb shook his head and his eyes filled with tears. ‘I’m going to be a father?’

Luci nodded. She took his hand and put it on her stomach as her nerves escalated another notch. Her dream was so close she could almost taste it and she couldn’t stand the thought that it might all slip away. She tried one last time to convince him that things could work out. ‘I know loving someone scares you and I understand that this is a big step for you, but you have to have faith that things will be okay. Bad things can happen but they don’t always happen. You can’t close yourself off just in case you get hurt. I intend to live my life and I want you to live yours. But I would like us to live our lives together, I’d like us to share our dreams. I love you and I think we can make this work but it’s up to you. I know this will be a shock, it’s a lot to take in and I don’t expect you to decide what you want to do tonight, but you should know that I am going to have the baby.’

‘Of course you are. And I’m going to be there with you. Every step of the way.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Positive. I’m ready for this. I know you didn’t want to fall for the first guy who crossed your path and I wanted to give you a chance to decide if you wanted me. That was why I thought we could take our time and see what happened but I know I want you. I know I want a future with you. And a family. I have thought about nothing else for the past two weeks.’

Seb reached for her. Brushing her hair from her face, he bent his head and kissed her and Luci could feel herself blossoming under his touch.

‘I love you, Luci, and I promise that will never change.’ He smiled at her and his blue eyes sparkled as he added, ‘And now you need to invite me home with you for Christmas.’

‘You want to come with me?’

‘Where else would I be? I want to spend the rest of my life with you and that starts now. Plus I think it’s time I met your parents. I need to ask your father for your hand in marriage.’

‘You want to get married?’

‘I do.’

‘My father won’t expect you to ask his permission.’

‘I think he will and I’d like to do things properly. I need to at least tell him I intend to make an honest woman out of his only daughter before I tell him I knocked her up.’

Luci laughed. ‘They probably wouldn’t believe you. It’s incredible, isn’t it?’

Seb nodded. ‘It’s amazing.’ He got off the couch and went down on one knee. He slid his hands under the hem of her shirt, exposing her belly. He kissed it gently and the touch of his lips sent flames of desire racing through her. His hands were on her knees and she felt her thighs fall apart under the caress of his fingers as she waited for him to slide his hands up her legs, but his fingers went no further. He knelt between her thighs but his focus was on her face.

‘I came here to see if I could convince you to give me a chance to prove my love. I want to share your dreams with you. I want to share your life. Will you let me love you and our children for the rest of our lives? Will you marry me? Will you be my wife?’

Luci pulled Seb to his feet and wrapped herself in his arms. She kissed him deeply, fighting back tears. Her dreams were coming true but it was not the time for tears. She was getting everything she’d wanted since the moment she’d first laid eyes on Seb. This glorious, gorgeous man wanted to make a life with her and she wasn’t going to refuse him.

‘I will.’