Читать книгу Secrets of a Gay Marine Porn Star - Rich Merritt - Страница 7

Because this is a book about my life, the entire text is an acknowledgment of sorts (albeit with mostly fake names) to the many people who have helped or hindered me along my journey. The book itself, however, would never have become a reality without the influence, encouragement, and patience of a few extraordinary people. Charles Casillo took a scattered bundle of pages and immediately recognized a wild, sad and memorable story waiting to be told. I am eternally in his debt for being my coach, editor, co-conspirator, stenographer, ghostwriter, therapist, fellow outlaw and best of all, my friend. Charles helped me find a writer’s greatest treasure—my voice. I met Charles through Terri Fabris, former editor at Alyson Publications. Terri was the first to detect that I had more “secrets” to tell, and she and Charles prodded me until I told all of them. Hollis Griffin, former publicist at Grove Atlantic, sent me off in Terri’s direction and my dear friend, Seth Levy, a modern messiah, connected me to Hollis.

Charles referred me to the rarest of finds—an agent with a warm and sensitive heart. Mike Hamilburg was instantly as excited about this book as Charles and I were, surprisingly since he is a heterosexual male, a father with young children, not exactly my target demographic. He has given me hope that everyone can connect to my story somehow. Best of all, Mike knew exactly the right editor for this book, sparing my delicate and tender soul the agony of countless rejections. It has been a joy to work with John Scognamiglio and everyone at Kensington Publishing this past year and a half. In this neo-conservative pseudo-morality-driven era we now live in, they have taken a significant risk in putting a book like this into the marketplace. For all of us, I pray that their boldness pays off in droves. Let the backlash begin.

Before this book was ever conceived, Ron “Aunt Ronnie” Schrader said to me, “Girl, what are you doing wasting your time writing novels! Write your own story, it’s WAY more exciting than any fiction!” Aunt Ronnie also led me back to the Lord…the real God, that is. It was Carolyn Carter, my stand-in mom, who helped me see that all love begins with self-love and that the self-hatred of our fundamentalist pasts is the greatest sin of all. Brandon, what can I say? He taught me how to love and his love for me saved my life. Literally. I will never forget my first love and what a lucky bastard I am that it was with someone so wonderful and special.

No one has been more relentless in the futile pursuit of the elusive masculine military mystique than Steven Zeeland. I am proud to be his friend and his loyalty to me has been as unwavering as his love for soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines.

Charles Ching of All Worlds Video went out of his way to provide me with photographs. Rick Ford, aka “Dirk Yates” deserves special recognition. He has long been a brave pioneer in the world of gay male entertainment in a nation intent on dictating behavior to other people. Freedom-loving folks everywhere should thank him for his battles on the front line for First Amendment freedom.

I am especially grateful to all of the men and women in the Marine Corps. I suspect that some people will misinterpret my story as a slam against the Corps and some will say that I have brought dishonor to the Marines. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love the Marine Corps, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for all Marines. Maybe if I had it all to do over again, I’d do it differently. But that’s not an option now, so it’s pointless to think about it. What is dishonorable is the way our nation treats gay men and women who wish to serve in the military. All servicemen and women make sacrifices, but gays and lesbians in the military make the biggest sacrifices of all.

I’ve enjoyed the companionship of all my fellow travelers. There are too many to list, but dammit I’m going to try: David, Jim, John, John, Mike, Russ, Kelly, Lisa and Vegas. Bossy. Jack, Charles, Tommy and Keith. Jack, Dominic, Mark, Todd, Cary, Chris, John, Charles, Byron, Eric, Michael, Joe, Amadeus, Filet, Dakota and Buster. Ty, Rich, Jason, Gary, John and everyone else in the Gay Men’s Chorus of Orange County. Bruce, Casey, Tanya, Ashleigh, Michael, Katherine, Eric, Jorge and Danny. USC Law School faculty, staff, students and GLLU. Heather. Brie. Terri and DeeAnn. Tracy and Harris. Kim, Jackie, Katie, Michael, Sasha, Mira, Mark, Kate and Annalyn. Galen and Rob. Amy. Barry, John, Rich, Sony, HT, Andrew, Pixie, John, Martin, Michael Mack, Mick, Diesel, Russ, Streeter, Tommy, Glen, Tony, Forrest, Rob, Alex, Jim, Vu, Tom, Andy, Brandon, Michael and Randy. “Dream” and Bob. Todd and Kevin. Mauricio, Milo, Tim, Alberto, Michelangelo, Mark. Israel. Norah, Graham, Tali, Kyle, Heather. Anne, Paul and Cole. Greg, John, Megan, Scott and Wayne. Oran, Shaun and Russ. “Donna Summers—Sometimes Catered, Sometimes Not.” Icebreakers. Jamie, Rob and Dawn. Many, many more.

Although most of my family will never understand why I wrote this book, they’ll just have to trust me when I say that I love them all very much, just as they are.

Finally, I owe a special thanks to Bob Jones for teaching me that absolute truth exists, and for launching me on my journey to discover it for myself.