Читать книгу The Complete A–Z of Everything Carry On - Richard Webber - Страница 12

When Ted York has his operation he drifts off into a dream world.

CLOSE SHOT TED

Flat on his back on moving trolley – but not quite flat out. He’s still resisting the complete surrender of himself. Trolley goes in doors to:

INT. ANAESTHETIC ROOM – DAY

Ted’s wheeled in beside the usual impressive equipment. He does his best to keep his eyes open. Anaesthetist is all ready. He approaches Ted.

ANAESTHETIST: (Friendly, grinning.) You look so wide awake …

(He injects TED, with the enormous hypo.)

ANAESTHETIST: … I doubt if this is going to work …

(TED grins back – an uncontrolled parody of a confident grin.)

TED’S EYELINE

(ANAESTHETIST blurs, spins and disappears.)

RIPPLE DISSOLVE

INT. TED’S MIND. ANAESTHESIA

Evidently Ted’s a good reporter who concentrates on essentials even in his subconscious – for the f.g. of this sequence is all-important and there’s no set worth speaking of, just a dark b.g. Equally evident, Ted is a regular reader of Esquire, for Georgie shimmies on to the screen in idealised, scant and diaphanous harem costume. Music is sinuous in accompaniment. After a self-appreciative wiggle or so on the part of Georgie, a millionaire, young, handsome and in full evening-dress, approaches her, beseechingly offering a diamond necklace, glittering in its velvet-lined case: she repulses him: sadly closing the case, he leaves. A turbaned Maharajah now approaches her, juggling with diamonds as big as potatoes: she scarcely notices the dazzlement thus created: repulses him: tearfully, he departs. A husky sunburnt prospector, magnificent in shorts and sunhat, hauls a small truck to her: it is chockful of diamonds: she hardly looks at the blinding-brilliant display, or at him: his jaw-muscles twitching in manly disappointment, he trudges off, hauling the truck behind him. Holding on to the back of the truck, like a kid scrounging a ride on a water-cart, is Ted, ludicrous in his operating-gown. He jumps off, and, apparently unaware of Georgie’s presence, flexes his muscles in modest self-appreciation. Georgie clasps her hands together in delight and her expression is that of a girl who has at last Mr Right-ed herself. She strolls past him, shedding a veil. Courteously, Ted retrieves it, offers it to her. As she takes it, he kisses her hand. Chews his way, with mounting passion, up her arm. Folds her in an embrace. She’s more than cooperative. Music cuts. A whip-crack O.S. Both turn. Sister’s there, dressed in jodhpurs and roll-neck sweater. She cracks the whip again: Georgie, immediately redressed as a nurse, disentangles herself from Ted. An injections-trolley rolls towards Georgie. She grabs it and trundles it away, super-efficiently. Whip-crack. A bed rolls towards Ted. He scampers into it. Sister nods grimly, folds the whip, goes off eagle-eyed to look for more criminals.

CLOSE SHOT TED (Within dream.)

In bed, lying on his side, one eye open. Whip-crack O.S. He snaps the eye shut.

DISSOLVE

INT. WARD. NIGHT

CLOSE SHOT TED, lying on his back, eyes closed. Real background: the dream is over: he’s about to emerge from the anaesthetic. His eyes flicker.

TED: (Faint) Beer …

(His eyes open.)

TED’S EYELINE

From his corner-bed, a night-view of the ward achieves focus after a shaky start. Six beds on the opposite side of the ward, each containing a slumbering patient. Snores are thunderous in a male ward: they can provide the background for the following.

INT. WARD. NIGHT

Ted resumed.

TED: (Louder) Lager…

He licks his lips.)

TED: (Normal tone) Iced lager … Hey, Ethel! How about some service…?

(He blinks, and licks his lips again.)

TED: (Good and loud) How long’ve I gotta wait for service? I’m a good customer Ethel! Hey – (Loudest) – ETHEL!…

(Frances James, young, slim and attractive night-nurse (qualified) appears at his bedside, a firm and confident ministering angel – to begin with. He turns his head to her. Though he can now talk, he doesn’t really know what he’s talking about yet – or, at least, the normal defences and compromises of ordinary conversation are not in operation. His voice is strident. His ideas are uninhibited and directly expressed throughout.)

TED: ’Bout time … Hey – you’re not Ethel …

FRANCES: Relax now, Mr York.

TED: (Truculent) Where’s Ethel?

FRANCES: Fast asleep I hope – same as you should be.

TED: You know Ethel?

FRANCES: I think I know the one you mean. Barmaid at the Greyhound.

TED: That’s right. Get her.

ANCIENT CARRIER

Played by Ian Wilson

Assists the Carrier in Jack by ferrying Midshipman Poop-Decker to his ship at Plymouth Docks.

ANCIENT GENERAL

Played by Eric Barker

Seen dining at the French Ambassador’s residence in Emmannuelle.

ANGEL, MR (THE BOSUN)

Played by Percy Herbert

The bosun, who’s been at sea fifteen years, works on the frigate Venus. He’s seen in Jack, initially as part of the press gang scouring the streets of Plymouth for two unfortunates to join the ship’s crew.

ANGELINETTA, OLGA

Hairdresser on Teacher and Jack

Olga Angelinetta, daughter of a restaurateur, was born in London in 1902. After achieving her City and Guilds in hairdressing and wig-making, she worked for leading names in the industry until being taken ill in 1943 and spending a year in hospital. Soon after recuperating, she secured a job at Pinewood Studios.

She eventually turned freelance and worked at all the top studios, including Denham and Twickenham. Her list of film credits included The Counterfeit Plan, Make Mine Mink, One Million Years B.C., Our Mother’s House and, her final picture, A Clockwork Orange in 1971.

She retired in the early 1970s and died in 1995, aged ninety-three.

ANGUS

An unseen character in Cruising, Angus was head barman on the Happy Wanderer until he tied the knot and was sworn off booze. Believing a life on the ocean wave wasn’t compatible with marriage, he jacked in his job. The trouble was, he was the only one capable of mixing an Aberdeen Angus, Captain Crowther’s favourite tipple. Eventually, though, he passes on the details to his replacement, Sam Turner, to the relief of the captain.

ANGUS ROBERTSON & COMPANY LIMITED

The estate agent in Cabby who markets the yard and garages Peggy Hawkins rents for her Glamcab taxi company. The office is based at 306 Park Street.

ANTHEA

Played by Amanda Barrie

A posh-speaking Glamcab driver in Cabby. When Ted Watson tries infiltrating the team by posing, disastrously, as a glamour girl, she embarrasses him by asking for help out of her clothes because the staff uniforms are required for washing.

ANTONY, MARK

Played by Sid James

The courageous soldier who claims to be Julius Caesar’s best friend in Cleo. Falls in love with Cleopatra and plots to murder Caesar but his plans are beset with unexpected difficulties.

ANTONY’S DUSKY MAIDEN

Played by Sally Douglas

A dark-haired beauty whom Mark Antony buys from a slave market in Cleo.

ANTROBUS, JOHN

Role: Citizen in Constable. Also credited for writing additional material for the screenplays of Sergeant and Columbus

Son of a sergeant-major in the army, John Antrobus was born in Woolwich Military Hospital in 1933. After leaving school he served two years in the Merchant Navy before, aged nineteen, following his father into the army. He attended Sandhurst Royal Military Academy and was progressing well until his increasing disenchantment at the thought of a military career saw him quit the Forces.

Wanting to be a writer, he was fortunate enough to meet Ray Galton and Alan Simpson, who’d established Associated London Scripts with Spike Milligan and Eric Sykes. They agreed to read some of his work, so by day he earned his living as a waiter, supply teacher and film extra (he was in a crowd scene in 1984 and a non-speaking lab assistant in The Man Who Never Was), while in the evening he completed a script and sent it to the writers.

Before long he was writing with Johnny Speight and supplying material for, among others, Frankie Howerd, Arthur Haynes, Peter Sellers and Spike Milligan. He’s also contributed to numerous television shows, including That Was The Week That Was, The Army Game, Bootsie and Snudge, The Dustbinmen and Milligan In …

Antrobus has written for all media, including the screenplays for 1959’s Idle On Parade, starring Anthony Newley, Lionel Jeffries and William Bendix, and, a decade later, The Bed-Sitting Room, with Rita Tushingham and Ralph Richardson. He’s also written extensively for the theatre, such as four plays for the Royal Court Theatre and the jewel in his crown, Crete and Sergeant Pepper.

In recent years, John has teamed up with scriptwriter Ray Galton to pen two series of Room at the Bottom for television and the sanatorium-based sitcom, Get Well Soon. They also wrote the farce, When Did You Last See Your Trousers, which played the Garrick Theatre for a year, and have recently written a stage version of Steptoe and Son which opens at the Theatre Royal, York, in the autumn of 2005.

APHRODISIA

The name of the valley beyond the mountains in Africa where the lubidubies live in Up the Jungle.

ARABIAN OFFICIAL

Played by Steve Plytas

Seen dining at the French Ambassador’s residence in Emmannuelle.

ARCHIMEDES

Played by Michael Ward

Seen in Cleo walking the corridors of Cleopatra’s abode. His official title is Chief Counsellor.

ARISTOCRATIC LADY

Played by Ambrosine Phillpotts

In Cabby, this snooty old girl is seen sitting in the back of a chauffeur-driven car. While waiting at a junction, Charlie Hawkins pulls up and cracks a joke, aimed at the straight-faced chauffeur, about whether he’s going to a funeral, before suggesting that his passenger has got out of the box.

ARMITAGE, MISS

Played by Ann Lancaster

Appears in Again Doctor. Miss Armitage is a patient at the Long Hampton Hospital who’s been admitted for observation. She observes more than she bargained for when Dr Nookey goes into the women’s washroom by mistake and takes a shower. When he later enters her room, believing he’ll find Goldie Locks in bed, it’s the last straw for the eccentric Miss Armitage, who’s liable to suffer the occasional fit.

CARRY ON AT YOUR CONVENIENCE

Alternative titles … Down The Spout, Ladies Please Be Seated, Up The Workers, Labour Relations Are The People Who Come To See You When You’re Having A Baby

A Peter Rogers production

Distributed through Rank Organisation Released as an A certificate in 1971 in colour

Running time: 90 mins

CAST

Sidney James	Sid Plummer
Kenneth Williams	W.C. Boggs
Charles Hawtrey	Charles Coote
Hattie Jacques	Beattie Plummer
Joan Sims	Chloe Moore
Bernard Bresslaw	Bernie Hulke
Kenneth Cope	Vic Spanner
Jacki Piper	Myrtle Plummer
Richard O’Callaghan	Lewis Boggs
Patsy Rowlands	Hortence Withering
Davy Kaye	Benny
Bill Maynard	Fred Moore
Renée Houston	Agatha Spanner
Marianne Stone	Maud
Margaret Nolan	Popsy
Geoffrey Hughes	Willie
Hugh Futcher	Ernie
Simon Cain	Barman
Amelia Bayntun	Mrs Spragg
Leon Greene	Chef
Harry Towb	Doctor in Film
Shirley Stelfox	Bunny Waitress
Peter Burton	Hotel Manager
Julian Holloway	Roger
Anouska Hempel	New Canteen Girl
Jan Rossini	Hoopla Girl
Philip Stone	Mr Bulstrode

PRODUCTION TEAM

Screenplay by Talbot Rothwell

Music composed and conducted by Eric Rogers

Production Manager: Jack Swinburne

Art Director: Lionel Couch

Editor: Alfred Roome

Director of Photography: Ernest Steward BSC

Camera Operator: James Bawden

Make-up: Geoffrey Rodway

Continuity: Rita Davidson

Assistant Director: David Bracknell

Sound Recordists: Danny Daniel and Ken Barker

Hairdresser: Stella Rivers

Costume Designer: Courtenay Elliott

Set Dresser: Peter Howitt

Assistant Art Director: William Alexander

Dubbing Editor: Brian Holland

Titles: G.S.E. Ltd

Processed by Rank Film Laboratories

Toilets by Royal Doulton Sanitary Potteries

Assistant Editor: Jack Gardner

Producer: Peter Rogers

Director: Gerald Thomas

Vic Spanner (Kenneth Cope) gets an ear bashing from his mum (Renée Houston)

W.C. Boggs and Son have manufactured fine toilet ware since 1870, which is surprising considering the constant striking at the factory; Vic Spanner, the union representative, brings the workforce out at the slightest change in day-to-day procedures, such as the scrapping of drinking tea outside official breaks. When Vic broaches the subject with Lewis Boggs, the boss’s son, who’s still green when it comes to dealing with the union, he declines to discuss the matter, resulting in a meeting to consider yet another walk-out. No one, save Vic, is interested, though, until they’re reminded that the local football team are at home that afternoon.

Meanwhile, upstairs, chief designer Charles Coote, managing director William Boggs and others watch with interest as Miss Withering, Mr Boggs’s secretary, tests out a new toilet’s durability. Another topic on the agenda is the making of bidets: while Lewis wants the firm to start manufacturing them to keep up with the times, his father isn’t convinced.

Production at the factory grinds to a halt, though, when the latest strike takes effect. Sid Plummer returns home for the afternoon and is confronted with a pile of dirty dishes and a wife who spends all day chatting to her budgie, while Vic Spanner is berated by his loudmouthed mother, claiming he’s just like his late father; he ends up with a meagre lunch while Charles Coote, who lodges at the house, is dished up his favourite meal. Nothing seems to be going right for Vic when, en route to the football match, he spots Myrtle, the love of his life, getting into Lewis Boggs’s sports car, and in a rush to follow her ends up losing his trousers.

Back at Sid Plummer’s house, he discovers, to the benefit of his wallet, that the pet budgie, Joey, who hasn’t tweeted a word since they bought him, has the knack of picking winners at horse racing; before placing the biggest bet of his life, Sid tests the bird on yesterday’s race meetings and he comes up trumps every time. Sid soon pockets a fortune, much to his bookmaker’s disgust, enabling him to help out his employer, Mr Boggs, when it’s revealed the company is in financial straits, a gesture eventually repaid with the offer of a place on the board, which Sid is reluctant to accept because he regards himself as a shop-floor worker.

The next strike, over the fitting of a new style tap to the bidets Lewis eventually persuades his father to make, is called by Vic, but a surprise return to work the following day isn’t a sign of everyone’s eagerness to get back to the shop-floor, more because it’s the firm’s outing to Brighton. Everyone decides to enjoy the annual jolly, even Mr Boggs Senior who realises what he’s been missing is a good old booze-up. A jolly time is had by all, especially Lewis Boggs, who’s delighted when he eventually wins over Myrtle Plummer by producing a special marriage licence.

Lewis (Richard O’Callaghan) talks tough with Bernie (Bernard Bresslaw)

Back home, when Mr Coote, whose relationship with Agatha Spanner has blossomed, tells her they won’t be able to marry because the strikes have brought the company to its knees, action is called for; summoning the help of other frustrated wives, Agatha and the women march to the picket line and bring the strike to an abrupt end; everything now seems rosy until Bernie Hulke tells Vic there is no loo roll in the toilet, but even the militant Vic Spanner has turned over a new leaf and dips into his own pocket to buy a new packet.

ARMY OFFICER

Played by Cyril Raymond

Seen in Regardless struggling to squeeze by Sam Twist in the corridor of the Scotland-bound train. Twist, who’s en route to the Forth Bridge in a parody of The 39 Steps, asks if he’s got some special orders for him, annoying the officer in the process.

ARNALL, JULIA

Role: Trudy Trelawney in Regardless

Julia Arnall, born in Vienna, Austria, in 1931, moved to Britain in 1950 and began her career as a model before turning to acting.

During the 1950s and ’60s she appeared in several films, including Simon and Laura, House of Secrets, The Quiller Memorandum and, most notably, Lost. However, when her Rank contract was terminated in 1957, her screen appearances became infrequent.

Her television credits include Sword of Freedom, International Detective, Ghost Squad, The Saint and The Troubleshooters.

ARTHUR

Played by Derek Francis

Arthur works as a security guard in the lobby of Finisham Maternity Hospital in Matron. A miserable-looking guy whose demeanour is remarked upon by Sid Carter, who’s pretending to be an expectant father in an attempt to find out where the contraceptive pills are kept. He comments he’ll christen his baby ‘Happy’ after him.

ASKWITH, ROBIN

Role: Larry in Girls

Born in Southport, Lancashire, in 1950, Robin Askwith was educated at Merchant Taylors’ School, Rickmansworth. Unable to take up a place at Bristol University, where he intended reading English and drama, he happened upon a career in acting, beginning with a margarine commercial, followed by, in 1968, the part of Keating in Lindsay Anderson’s film, If.

He’s made over thirty films but is arguably best remembered for playing the lead in the Confessions sex comedies of the 1970s. Other film credits include Scramble; Hide and Seek; Bless This House; Stand Up, Virgin Soldiers; Brittania Hospital, again with Lindsay Anderson, and, in 2000, The Asylum. His television work over the years has seen him appear in, among others, The Borderers, Boon, Sunburn and Doctors.

In 1977 he formed The Comedy Company and toured the world with various shows. Today, he lives on the island of Gozo.

ASSISTANT MANAGER

Played by Robin Ray

The assistant manager of F.H. Rowse, a department store in Constable, isn’t informed by his manager of PC Benson and PC Gorse’s undercover work attempting to catch shoplifters in the store, which explains the confusion that ensues when they become suspects themselves.

AT YOUR CONVENIENCE, CARRY ON

See feature box here.

ATKINS, JOHN

Played by Paul Cole

In Teacher, Atkins is a leading culprit among the kids who set out to cause havoc when a school inspector and child psychiatrist visit Maudlin Street Secondary Modern School.

ATS GIRL

Played by Barbara Rosenblat

Based at the experimental 1313 anti-aircraft battery in England, she’s one of the shirkers who suffers a severe shock to the system when the tough-speaking Captain Melly is put in charge of the unit.

ATTRACTIVE NURSE

Played by Shane Cordell

One of the nurses employed at Haven Hospital in Nurse.

AU PAIR GIRL

Played by Zena Clifton

When the pregnant film star, Jane Darling, is rushed off in the back of an ambulance, Mr Darling can’t wait to wave his wife goodbye so he can return to the house and get his hands all over his au pair. Appears in Matron.

AUBREY, DIANE

Role: Honoria in Constable

Diane Aubrey, born in Nottingham in 1939, joined LAMDA straight from school. By the time she graduated she’d already made her acting debut, appearing in a 1957 episode of the series The Vise and the film Grip of the Strangler, a year later.

Although she worked in rep, most of her career was spent on the screen. As well as appearing in series like Moonstrike and Dixon of Dock Green, she played Sally Clarkson in Z Cars for several months during 1962, and Sandra in the 1963 series, Taxi!, with Sid James. On the big screen, her credits include Village of the Damned; Watch it, Sailor!; Petticoat Pirates;The Wild Affair and her last film, The Engagement in 1970.

She retired from acting at the age of twenty-nine after her children were born. Now based in London, she’s been teaching the Alexander Technique for twenty-four years.

AUNTIE

Played by Lucy Griffiths

Named as Aunt Acid in the Regardless script, she’s standing alongside Montgomery Infield-Hopping in the bachelor exhibit at the Ideal House Exhibition. She looks disapprovingly when Delia comes flying through the wall of the exhibit next-door, much to the delight of the raffish customer.

AVERY AVENUE

The road where Bide-a-Wee Rest Home stands in Screaming!

AXWELL, NURSE GEORGIE

Played by Susan Stephen

Georgie Axwell works on the ward at Haven Hospital in Nurse.

AZURE BAY

A region in the Beatific Islands where the Moore Medical Mission – which is nothing more than a decrepit wooden hut – stands. The bay is visited by Dr Carver and Dr Nookey in Again Doctor.