Читать книгу The Complete A–Z of Everything Carry On - Richard Webber - Страница 18

When Emmannuelle first arrives in the UK she gets more than she bargained for at the Customs desk, and in an earlier draft of the script, a female customs officer was involved, too.

INT. CUSTOMS BAGGAGE AREA, AIRPORT – DAY

Emmannuelle is standing at a Customs bench watching a large, brutish, sarcastic Customs officer go through the contents of her two big suitcases. He pulls out some of her frilly underthings and feels them suggestively, grinning at her, daring her to complain.

EMMANNUELLE: You won’t find anything in there.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Pity. (Laughs like a hyena at his own cleverness.)

(The CUSTOMS OFFICER, still rifling through the suitcase, focuses his gaze on the front of EMMANNUELLE’s wrap-around dress.)

EMMANNUELLE: (With a challenge.) Nor in there.

(Theodore, wheeling his luggage by on a trolley, unhampered by a customs inspection, stops behind Emmannuelle. He clears his throat to attract her attention. Emmannuelle turns, gives Theodore just a cursory glance, then turns back to the Customs officer.)

(Theodore looks hurt, hesitates, then wheels his trolley towards the exit.)

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Ever been caught smugglin’ have you, darlin’?

EMMANNUELLE: I have nothing to declare and nothing to hide!

CUSTOMS OFFICER: (Still gaping at her.) That so?

(The Customs officer turns and gives a silent signal to a woman Customs official, who starts to walk towards them.)

INT. CUSTOMS INSPECTION ROOM, AIRPORT – DAY

(The uniformed woman Customs official is alone with Emmannuelle. The room is very small and as bare as a betting shop.)

CUSTOMS OFFICER: I have to ask you to remove all your clothing, if you don’t mind.

EMMANNUELLE: What for?

CUSTOMS OFFICER: We have reason to suspect you may be secreting something on your person.

EMMANNUELLE: What – something?

CUSTOMS OFFICER: That’s what we’re going to find out!

EMMANNUELLE: (Indignantly.) I am not a smooggler!

CUSTOMS OFFICER: Then you have nothing to worry about, do you?

(Emmannuelle’s mood switches from indignation to cunning. She stares at the Custom official’s body.)

EMMANNUELLE: I will, if you will.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: What?

EMMANNUELLE: I said – I will, if you will.

CUSTOMS OFFICER: (Trying to take her eyes off EMMANNUELLE’s body.) That’s not in the regulations.

EMMANNUELLE: Who cares about regulations?

INT. OUTSIDE CUSTOMS INSPECTION ROOM, AIRPORT – DAY

(The large brutish Customs officer is covertly peeping through the knothole in the wall. His expression is incredulous.)

INT. CUSTOMS INSPECTION ROOM, AIRPORT – DAY

(From Customs officer’s P.O.V. through knothole: Emmannuelle is undressed for inspection. So is the woman Customs official.)

CUTTING, SIR BERNARD

Played by Kenneth Williams

A top surgeon at Finisham Maternity Hospital in Matron, Sir Bernard spends most of his time worrying about his own ailments. A hypochondriac who one minute thinks he’s got Asian flu, the next believes he’s changing sex. Respected by many of his peers as well as those reporting to him, including Matron, whose feelings for Cutting go far beyond the line of duty. She’s smitten with Cutting but the feeling isn’t reciprocated, that is until Dr Goode convinces him that his worries regarding changing sex are due to an urgent desire to prove his masculinity. From that moment, Cutting tries to develop a relationship with Matron, ending in the sound of wedding bells.

CYNICAL LADY

Played by Joan Benham

Seen in Emmannuelle sitting at Emile Prevert’s dining-table, the Cynical Lady is a guest of the French Ambassador.

CYRIL

The cameraman who arrives at the Palace Hotel with Cecil Gaybody and the rest of the team working on the television programme, Women’s Things. Seen but not heard in Girls.