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Were you talking to yourself again?

May 28, 2017

As I was saying to myself, “You talk to yourself too much. It’s disturbing. And you’re starting to scare others.”

I was loping around outside and having a riveting conversation with myself when I nearly trampled a fellow traveler. She was clearly a high-end professional type given her dress, height, poise and “I shall sue you now” vibe. Talking to yourself is far easier than talking to others, as we all know. But talking to someone else about the fact you were just caught talking to yourself is some tough talk.

Our exchange:

Me: “I’m sorry. I was talking to myself and didn’t see where I was going.”

Her:

Me: (Still hoping for a response and a way to avoid being subpoenaed, I put on a little something called “The Charm.” It’s too nuanced and bewitching to articulate, so just stand back and enjoy.)

Me:

Her:

Me:

Her:

As I walked away, I asked myself out loud if other people talk to themselves and if so, is there a special section in heaven for us self-talkers? While thoroughly researching stories about people who talk to themselves, this headline popped up first: “It doesn’t mean you’re crazy—talking to yourself has cognitive benefits, study finds.” Bingo.

A study published in Quarterly Journal of Experimental Psychology (you have a subscription, right?) says most people talk to themselves at least every few days, and many report talking to themselves on an hourly basis. So-called self-directed speech in children can help guide behavior and sharpen their thinking chops.

And for adults?

Cognitive benefits were also found, the study said. In one experiment, 20 people were given the name of a supermarket item. In the first trials, the participants couldn’t say a word to themselves or anyone. In the second set, they repeated the object’s name out loud. According to the findings, the latter crew found their milk or cheese or whatever much easier in the store than did the silent shoppers.

Having learned I’m not crazy but rather one smart shopper, no further research was necessary.

A day later, I ventured out of my work environment to lope about in the comfy 92-degree heat. I had many discussions with myself, some of which centered on my next trip to Wegmans and what I might require for a weekend of successful eating. My clinically-approved, self-talking led me through a parking lot, across one median and what might have been someone’s back yard. As I circled back to our parking lot, I met another fellow traveler.

Me: “Sorry about that. I was talking to myself again.” (Tip: when caught talking to yourself, look sheepish and charming; i.e., a charming sheep.)

Her: (Laughing) “That’s OK. I do it all the time.”

Me: “You do?”

Her: “Sure. Everybody does.”

I smiled. She smiled. We walked on.

When it dawned on me: The trick, all those fallow romantic years ago, wasn’t talking to girls, it was talking to myself while nearly trampling them.

So, dear single readers, keep on talking to yourselves. You never know who you might trample.