Читать книгу Free At Last - Ron Rockey - Страница 6

The latest scientific research, combined with years of the study of mankind, has determined that who you become is greatly influenced by your time in your mother's womb. But even what science has assumed for years—that we are not changeable or fixable—has been turned on its heels by new science. New science assures us that we are changeable and fixable. There is hope for us if we want to change and become emotionally unchained from the negative influences of our beginnings.

From the moment of conception and until you were born, you were increasingly influenced by what went on around you in the womb. Your mother's health, her stress level, sounds in her environment, her ability to connect with you as you grew and developed, and her hormone levels all had an impact on your development. Believe it or not, according to Dr. Thomas Verny, a child psychiatrist and pediatrician who has researched the womb environment for a number of years, "the most impactful influence on a developing child in the womb is the relationship between a pregnant mother and the man who impregnated her." If that relationship is ended, if he did not want her to carry through with the pregnancy, or if he is absent or abusive, those conditions would negatively impact the child as it developed in the womb. Just remember, though: It's all fixable. It's not fixable by changing the past—that is impossible! But what IS possible is changing the negative emotions you may keep inside you for nearly a lifetime. If you are teachable, you are fixable!

Adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol, hormones that are necessary for us to react properly in an emergency, are also produced in stress. But when produced in a larger than normal amount in a pregnant woman, they can cause abnormal connections between the neurons in the brain of a fetus. The hormones travel from the mother to the fetus via her placenta. This does not mean that the baby will necessarily be abnormal, but it may be hypervigilant and overly sensitive, especially to perceived rejection.

Another effect that has bearing on you results if your delivery or process of being born was a difficult one. Adding to the physical difficulty of a complicated birth would be the absence of your birth father during your delivery. Birth complications include but aren't limited to:

•Cesarean section

•Premature birth

•Emergency delivery due to hemorrhage from placenta previa or abruption

•Baby in distress (abnormally low or high heart rate)

•Breech or transverse position of baby in the uterus

•Use of forceps or suction cup to pull baby out of the birth canal

•Mother's health compromised due to bleeding or high blood pressure

Add to the above the inability of your mother to bond with you emotionally. There is a list of reasons why she might not have been able to bond, such as:

•The way her own parents did or did not bond with her

•Her relationship with your birth father (absent or abusive)

•Pregnancy came at an inconvenient time

•Conception took place outside of marriage

•You were of the wrong sex, so your birth displeased her

•You looked like your father or someone from his side of the family, from which she was alienated

•You reminded her of someone on her side that she disliked

•She was upset by the change in her figure

The list of reasons goes on and on, but the most likely is that she was not well attached to her own parents and therefore lacked both the knowledge and the experience of bonding with a child.