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Until his death, Dr. John Joseph Evoy was an expert in the ins and outs of rejection. In fact, he would see in his practice only those who reported that rejection was in their experience. His famous book entitled The Rejected has been a blessing to many for detailing the remnants of early rejection during childhood and adolescence.

The greatest terror a child can have is that he is not loved, and rejection is the hell he fears. I think that everyone in the world to a large or small extent has felt rejection. And with rejection comes anger, and with anger some kind of crime in revenge for the rejection, and with the crime—guilt—and there is the story of mankind.

The Rejected by Dr. John Joseph Evoy. Page 10.

Furthermore, his book is packed with information about the anger, fears, anxieties, guilt and depression, and the behaviors they produce, in rejected individuals. To copy all of his information would basically call for a complete re-write of his research and that of the other experts he cites. Since that is impossible in this book, we will instead highlight some of his written information and provide charts in an attempt to synthesize this valuable material in an easily understood and more concise fashion. We will quote some of his main points first and then present them in graphic form for ease of understanding.

Anger that is displayed in those who have been rejected stems from a sense of being unjustly treated. Parents who have neglected, demeaned, ignored, or physically or sexually abused their children, who simply need love as much as they need food, air and water, appear to be the cause.

Certainly, that was the case with Ron, whose story is in Chapter One. The ignoring and neglect was most painful for him when his baby brother was brought home from the hospital. It was then that he saw preferential treatment toward the younger brother. The hugging and the kissing, the rocking and the tender care of his adoring mother had been totally absent from Ron's experience. Why wouldn't a little boy think that he'd been treated unfairly and unjustly? Why wouldn't he be angry? Why wouldn't he direct some of that anger toward himself and keep it hidden inside until he couldn't bear it any longer? So the boy (Ron) became a loner and spent many hours away from home because he believed that he was unwanted and unloved. The idea that "something must be wrong with me" is what he as a child would come to believe, considering the circumstances. Here is the beginning of his diminishing self-concept; here is the continuing sense that he doesn't really belong in his family. Here is the beginning of a determination to make it on his own—to do it himself, regardless of what it would take.

In a tiny book entitled By God's Grace, Sam, the story of Sam's life is told.

Samuel Woodrow Tannyhill was born to parents who seemed to adore him, but they couldn't get along with each other. Their divorce took place when he was only five years old, but divorces don't happen suddenly. There is usually tension in the relationship and an inability to get along with each other long before a marriage ends. While a child might not be able to recall his parents' relationship from when he was an infant or a toddler, the atmosphere around each of his parents, and in the home, dramatically impacts the child.

A child below the age of three isn't able to readily distinguish between himself and his parents, so he takes responsibility for what is happening between the parents. He tries in his own little ways to fix the parents, but cannot. He then sees himself as a failure. Of course, he doesn't necessarily have the language to express that he thinks he has failed, but the feelings of failure and not being good enough are still strong within him.