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9: Friendship can last a lifetime

Friends are great to have. What more could one ask? True friendships are rare relationships that I wish were more common. Friendships are warm and comforting. The gathering of friends is a gathering of support and hope and fun.

Our friends can help us see the many possibilities that are available to us. Each friend’s opinion shares a different perspective of who we are and what we can do. Being around others that you can trust and confide in builds self confidence and can relieve a lot of stress or anxiety.

Friendship comes in many forms. There are friends that you talk to consistently. These friends are up to date on the latest everything in your life. You trade information and gossip daily or every couple of days. You either see them through the week or talk on the phone. I wrote this poem to describe my friends.

My friends are treasures beyond traditional measures

No room filled with gold has the volume enough to hold

Their value and what they mean to me

Friends are reflections that mirror my life’s directions

Wherever I go wherever I rest I always know

I will find them or they will find me

My friends are allies who won’t tolerate any lies

Our truth is our pact fashioning the way we act

My friends who are favored forever

My friends are treasures beyond traditional measures

Wherever I go wherever I rest I always know

Their value – I can feel them – my friends

There are friends that you talk to infrequently. However, when you do speak, it seems like it was only yesterday that you last spoke to each other. The warmth and comfort comes flowing back and you start up wherever you left off.

Then there are the friends yet to be made - the future friends. The future holds many possibilities among which are new friendships. People, who share an interest or vocation, will come into your life. Some of these people will become favored companions – friends.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.

Anais Nin

You cultivate friendships by being a friend. Sound simple doesn’t it? That means that friendship is a two way street. Your end of the friendship is important. You must be supportive, warm and comforting. You have to listen and be patient. Sometimes you have to be constructively critical to help a friend. We have to encourage our friends to be their best selves. Being a friend means working through rumors or misunderstandings. This will mean giving a friend the benefit of the doubt until you talk to them.

Do friendships last a lifetime? Is there a time to quietly end a friendship? The type of friendship I have described to this point can last a lifetime. There may come a time to walk away from a friendship if your friend is one who:

Always makes jokes at your expense

Gets jealous when you are doing well

Only call you as a last resort for activities

Always seems negative or is complaining about something

Tells you about plans they have made and leaves you out

Only talks but never listens

Wants to be your only friend and you’re their only friend

Doesn’t sound much like friendship does it? You must be on guard to not fall into those behaviors yourself. So what do you do if your friendship is not longer healthy? Talk to your friend. Explain what bothers you and see if your friend understands. People sometimes unknowingly act a certain way. They may not recognize a problem because we have accepted the behavior for so long it seems natural. Speak your piece then use some active listening. You may be able to salvage a friendship. Otherwise it may be time to “breakup” with that friend.

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it’s just enough to know they’re standing by.

Anonymous

Here is an item to add to your to do list if you have one. If you do not have a list then you can start one with this.

1)Make a list of all your friends.

2)Call them.