Читать книгу A Lighter Side to Cancer: From Wake-up Call to Radiant Wellness - Sandra Miniere - Страница 17

Attending Paul’s company Christmas party three weeks after surgery distracted me from my physical discomfort and loneliness. An enchanting dinner cruise around San Francisco Bay was exactly what my body and soul needed. The over-the-counter pain medication helped me stay focused on pleasure. I sat there quietly taking in everything—the people, the ship, the food and the magnificence of San Francisco Bay. I said no to the dancing, but I had one glass of champagne to celebrate life. Being on the cruise felt like a gift for all that I had been through. I remember walking down a long gangplank next to the young CEO and congratulating him on his success in creating a business that was about to be sold. I suggested that he would do it again. I began to act as a success coach even before I knew what that meant. Attending this event was a wise decision on my part. It got me back into life and gave me the emotional lift I needed to keep going and get through the Christmas holidays without my family.

On Christmas Day, 2000, I dressed in a navy blue silk pants suit, and Paul and I had Christmas dinner at a hotel in San Francisco. The food was delicious and the place was elegant and festive. I missed being with my family (my first Christmas without them), but I felt good to be pain free and at peace. My body and life felt quiet for the first time in a few months. I could feel the surgery ordeal receding as the joyful mood of Christmas wrapped itself around me. Two instead of ten people were sitting at the table. I took my focus off the loss and felt deep gratitude to be in a beautiful place with my very special partner. He did not become my husband until the following December. As we held up our glasses filled with golden sparkling bubbles and wished each other Merry Christmas, life felt sacred and so did our love.

After several months, the swelling went down, and I looked like the new normal. I still feel as though I am wearing a breastplate, and I wonder what people feel when they hug me. But, the two breasts look similar with and without clothes. What is done is done, and I am grateful that my skilled surgeon remained a beacon of optimism throughout the process. She was a blessing in my ordeal. My decision to have implants in both breasts at the same time served me well. If I only had the left breast done during the mastectomy, I do not know whether I would have had the courage to get back on the operating table and have an implant inserted in the right breast.

Three months post surgery I returned to Mission Peak. I needed to reconnect with the victory energy of reaching its peak and return to climbing as a form of exercise. I hoped to climb a fifth of the way to the top that day. On my way up I stopped to visit with a black calf with a cute white face. He stood as still as a statue staring at me. His fur looked so soft and cuddly; I wanted to walk over and pet him. Instead, I asked him, “Do you think I can make it to my marker today?” My new friend just continued to stare at me. I did make it to my goal. When I turned around and looked at the view of the south point of San Francisco Bay in the distance, the view was spectacular. The sun reflecting off the water gave the scene a mystical quality. In that moment the mastectomy became a part of my history. My life was returning to normal. Implementing the important second phase of my recovery plan loomed before me—to eliminate any traces of cancer in my body and restore it to radiant health.

Chapter 3 Lessons Learned...

•Your naiveté can get you into trouble; sometimes the trouble leads to a positive outcome.

•When “what you need” instead of “what you want” arrives, find a way to accept and work with it.

•“Pity parties” and “temper tantrums” are normal; just move through them quickly.

•When things are bad in the present moment, focus on the positive possibility that is on its way to you now.

•Staying calm and hopeful, no matter how dark it gets, will attract grace into your life.

•Appreciate what is working and what you do have, especially the people who support you.

•Smiling and laughing are good for the body and soul.