Читать книгу A Lighter Side to Cancer: From Wake-up Call to Radiant Wellness - Sandra Miniere - Страница 4
Chapter 1 This Can’t Be Happening to Me! (Breast Cancer Diagnosis)
ОглавлениеOctober 2000
“There is good news and bad news: You have breast cancer; but… it is a ‘friendly’ cancer.” This devastating message, given to me by a charismatic, golden-haired pixie in a sun-filled examining room, pierced the illusion that I was in charge of my body. At that moment I felt stunned. How could this be happening to me? Evidently, all I was doing to take care of my body and soul had not protected me from cancer.
As I walked down the long dark hallway after receiving the diagnosis from my surgeon, I thought, “What a major hassle!” I would have to take a detour from building a new life in California to saving my life instead. I could already imagine all of the research I needed to do. My surgeon’s message left me with the opinion that I had a “mild” form of cancer, which the conventional medical community could easily treat with surgery, radiation or chemotherapy. However, their treatment approaches were not in alignment with my plan to get healthier. On the other hand, taking charge of healing my cancer through natural approaches meant more work for me.
Comforted that Paul was with me at the time I received my diagnosis, I still felt alone in this cancer adventure. (Paul is now my husband, but during the time around diagnosis and treatments, he was my significant other of fourteen years.)
Driving home alone in the car after receiving the diagnosis, the realization hit me: “You are on your own with your cancer.” I had to take charge of treating this illness because no one had as much at stake as me—my life. Decisions had to be made by me alone. The feeling of being on my own and taking care of myself is a very old life pattern. I learned early to live by my wits and figure things out. I can remember at the age of three or four opening the back door and entering an empty house; I was hungry. No one was around, but I spotted a loaf of bread on a counter in the kitchen. I dragged a heavy chair over to the counter, climbed up, opened the paper wrapper around the bread and ate a slice or two. I climbed down and went back outside to play with the other kids. Being on my own and taking care of myself are what I do best. Cancer provided another opportunity to relive that script and also gave me an opportunity to change the distorted belief that I had to do everything myself.
Stage I cancer would not kill me if it was treated properly, but what lay ahead seemed overwhelming. In addition to having cancer and being a new resident of California, I had no business or career. Mental health counseling in California was not an option for me because I did not have the proper credentials. I had no local support system in place and was dependent on Paul financially and emotionally. “Unbelievable!”