Читать книгу System life. How to organize life to cope with uncertainty and achieve results without burnout - Семён Колосов - Страница 11

I used to often hear that you are what you think. I don’t agree with that. You can think as much as you want, but you will never do it. In order to change something or decide on something, there must be a certain mindset. Mindset is a type or way of thinking. We can also say that this is a person’s worldview. In principle, it depends on him how and with whom you will move towards the goal, what will be the reaction and actions in case of difficulties and mistakes. Your confidence, attitude, courage and speed of change depend on it. You’re not what you think you are. You are what you do. To do the right thing, you need to put things in order in your way of thinking. To do this, you need to analyze your thoughts. The American psychologist Carol Dweck devoted a lot of work to the topic of mindset. She is an expert in social psychology and developmental psychology. She has a book, which in the original is called «Mindset». We have translated it as «Flexible consciousness». It explains that success in various spheres of life is not just a special talent or ability. Basically, this is the result of how we look at life. The idea of the book is that there is a «growth mindset» and a «fixed mindset». In short, the first is cool, and the second is bad. Carol’s book contains many examples from sports, business and personal stories that explain the role of a growth mindset for success, and how a fixed mindset contributes to failure.

Without abstruse books, it is clear that a positive attitude is good. Who would you go to Everest with? With someone who believes and longs for victory? Or with a pessimist who constantly whines and sees negativity everywhere? You will say that believing and longing is not yet done – and you will be right. Just attitude is not enough. Your installations are important, the firmware of your thinking.

Fixed mindset settings assume that every person has a certain set of skills from birth, whether professional, social or other. Such people usually think that:

• I was born this way so nothing can be changed;

• Abilities and intelligence are transmitted by genes, not everyone has them;

• I would be able to, too, if I had the capabilities like his/hers;

• Failure is bad, I will be ashamed of what people will think;

• Why take it on if I don’t know how to do it;

• It is not for me because it’s very difficult.

And other thoughts like that. People with a fixed mindset like phrases like «yes, what are you getting yourself into, it’s not for you», «what if», «yes, I’ve already seen a lot who didn’t succeed» and so on. The image of such people is well shown in the second verse of Kasta’s song «Way higher». Its meaning can be described roughly as «Dry bread at home is better than roast meat abroad.» I think this phrase was invented by the most important boss of people with a fixed mindset. Of course, it is better that there are no such people around you. Surround yourself with people who will pull you up. Life is already full of people who want to pull you down.

People with a growth mindset are diametrically opposite. The mindset of growth is based on the fact that any skill or competence can be developed. That everything can be achieved if you figure it out and act. People with such a mindset will think like this:

• Nothing is predetermined, everything depends on me;

• If you try, you will definitely succeed;

• Mistakes are not scary, it’s an experience;

• You need to learn new things in order to use new approaches;

• I don’t care what people think, I’ll try;

• I can achieve anything, it’s a matter of resources and skills.

It turns out that all people are divided into a kind of pessimists and optimists, confident and insecure people. Most people who call themselves «pessimists» or «skeptics» are afraid of failure. Therefore, they choose comfortable pessimism. There are no trials and problems in pessimism. As well as there is no growth and development. Many people usually say that they are not pessimists, but realists and just soberly assess the situation. That they have already had experience, and they know how it will be. Therefore, it is better not to go into something that you do not understand, it is better not to take risks. Such people are not confident; they did not draw conclusions from the failure and gave up. They usually work well for those who are confident. Insecure people are easier to manage, give loans, use for their needs. Some pessimists even understand this and try to get out with the help of silver bullets: courses, trainings and marathons. They are taught there to visualize, look for motivation, say «yes» to everything and praise themselves in front of the mirror. But it doesn’t help, because it doesn’t change the mindset.

«A pessimist is first of all a homeless person. To be an optimist, you need to work hard»

Mario Corella

To make steps towards growth, you need a growth mindset. To change the mindset, you need to work hard on yourself. It’s funny that every person has a growth mindset from birth. Look at the children, they are super confident. They try to get up and walk. They fall, but they get up and go. No one develops learned helplessness; no one thinks that it is painful, shameful and scary. They just do it. They just don’t understand a lot of things that adults understand. But look at the omniscient adults, most are not sure about anything.

«Everyone knows that this is impossible. But here comes an ignoramus who does not know this – he makes a discovery»

Albert Einstein

Before graduating from university, I was such a child with a growth mindset. Thanks to Mom. She has always said since childhood that I am the best, and I can do anything. I never thought about the fears of failure and did not doubt myself. But after university I acquired pessimism. When it turned out that no one needed a diamond like me without work experience, I became more and more pessimistic. I didn’t know what to do. I was feeling blue and I was ready to accept any job. Working at the factory, I stopped believing that I could achieve something. I didn’t even think about what I wanted, and I didn’t make any plans for life. Finally, my wife did not let me get bogged down in this swamp. Sometimes her critical thinking can’t stop in time, and she may start to worry, but she has always been against pessimistic views. She is exactly the person who knows how to enjoy life and enjoy the moment. She was probably assigned to me so that I wouldn’t go crazy for unknown merits in my past life. She was just talking to my negative thoughts: «Why do you think that? What facts are your thoughts based on?» I immediately rushed into the argument, explained to her that she did not understand anything. But every time it turned out that I had no arguments. I was just winding myself up with negativity and generating problems that might not have happened. I was engaged in forecasting and was sad. Then I was captured by a fixed mindset. I was afraid to solve difficult tasks, I wanted to justify my inaction with barriers and to absolve myself of responsibility.

Our brain contributes to the consolidation of a fixed mindset. It always overestimates threats, underestimates opportunities, and downplays the resources you have. Therefore, it is very important to analyze your mindset for parasitic thoughts. They limit growth. They keep you from taking a step that can change your life. Although this step doesn’t have to be big. It may be microscopic, but you will not dare to take it, because you are afraid of even a small risk. All people are biologically equal, but they develop differently. There are no genes of genius and super intelligence. There are only your thoughts that limit or trigger actions. You can continue to complain that something is not given to you. Or you can just start learning something new, try, experiment and improve yourself. If you notice a fixed mindset in yourself, then urgently understand this topic. Better put my book aside, read «Mindset» by Carol Dweck and then continue. Without the growth mindset, useful information will be blocked, there will be no trust in it, and you will be forever looking for a silver bullet. System life is an exoskeleton for the growth mindset. You just need to start implementing it, and you will see that you are also capable of a lot. The whole book is written so as not to give you precedents for fixing a fixed mindset. So that you approach any changes, challenges or problems boldly and do not feel fear. Without any «what if, what if», etc. So that there is no doubt about achieving the result, and there is confidence that you will not give the back.