Читать книгу To Forgive or To Revenge. Collection of articles - Сергей и Дина Волсини - Страница 10

Any contemporary, thoughtful and intelligent individual has not been tempted any more by an idea to make money solely for the sake of sprawling on the beach till his dying day, having no concern of anything and doing anything anymore. The happiness criteria have changed themselves. The most frequently, attempting to give a definition of happiness, the people describe this condition by such expressions as “this is when you succeed”, “when you intend something, and it is accomplished”, “this is such a feeling as if you were tracked from somewhere from on high”. To the foreground there emerges a human need to realize oneself, and not only at work, but in one's life in general. More evident there appears the circumstance that a high achiever of our time is an individual being enthusiastic by his life.

Great Difference

Let us imagine two individuals, being employed in the same sphere, occupying the same position and in the same conditions. However, one of them is fond of his business, and for the other one it is just a job.

The first one wakes up in the morning with joy: In front of him there is the livelong day to be full with blessed events. In the morning he wakes up with ease and he is going to work with joy – he is excited to go ahead with his affairs. The second one wakes up not readily. He is reluctant to get up, however he has to. Onwards, just endless boondoggle is awaiting him, which he is forced to be concerned with on a day-to-day basis.

The first one comes to work in the smooth mood. He is facile in everything he does, and he succeeds in all things. He copes with dozens of affairs simultaneously and performs them easily as if without trying hard. He is pleased with a result himself and he inspires wonder among the others – nobody could have got it done in a better way! The second one makes himself to get down to business. Everything that could be left for the end will be laid aside by him, and he neglects everything that cannot be done right away. He is engaged in his job mechanically, without any spirit. Nothing brings him any joy – neither the process itself nor its result. Just to have it done somehow, and thank goodness. The time keeps jogging on, and it seems as if his working day will not have any end.

The first one winds up his working day with a feeling of pleasant satisfaction. The working day appeared to be a successful one. Probably, it was not easy at all, but he has succeeded! In his head there flock new ideas about, and he is full of plans for the following day. The second one experiences exhaustion and devastation at the end of the day. Just thinking that tomorrow expects him exactly the same day brings him into despair.

Out of this example we can observe that an individual being fond of his business lives a different life in broad-brush terms rather than that one just “going” to work. A feeling of embodiment enlarges not only upon the working activity of an individual, but also upon his life in general.

Quick temper, encouragement, enthusiasm, love of life – these qualities become somewhat symptomatic of individuals' traits and approve themselves in all real-life situations. Such an individual develops himself and gives momentum to the development of people surrounding him.

Performance with Satisfaction

Any individual taking care of business to which he has got an obvious ability is distinguished by three major qualities. Firstly, he easily without trying hard achieves brilliant results: someone else would have to work by sweat of his brow and work himself into exhaustion, however a gifted individual makes every effort “on the spot”, as if done in a breeze. Secondly, the result of his job is a unique and unmatched one: he performs it in a way that nobody else would get it done. You can take example by him and you can learn from him, but it is impossible to take a pattern of him. And finally, thirdly, his favorite job does not either tire him out and or exhaust him – just on the contrary, it gives him strength and inspires him for new achievements.

Hereof it becomes clearer that a gift enables any individual to comprehend one of the most perfect mechanisms granted to us by nature:

Action→Result→Satisfaction→Desire to action→Action

A central moment in this chain appears to be a sense of satisfaction, by achieving which an individual feels one's oats and has got a natural desire for further actions. The word “satisfaction” itself embodies a meaning if its constituents – delight from creativity. That particular feeling appears to be an impulse that triggers the mechanism from a new circle and inspires an individual to go forward, to undertake different sorts of things in order to discover, to seek and to create something.

When a sense of satisfaction does not mature, and an individual is not pleased by the results, he gets disappointed and he discontinues undertaking new efforts. Sooner or later he gives up his business. Or alternatively if he is forced to keep doing, he performs everything in a reluctant manner, automatically, without any desire whatsoever. The results of such an activity depress still more – both himself, and the people surrounding him.

Being Appropriate

The easiest way for an individual to feel deeply an effect of this mechanism would be to get engaged in things he was initially inclined to. Under which condition would an individual experience satisfaction from the things performed by him? In the first instance, he should like the process itself. It is impossible to be pleased by compelling himself to perform something or forcing himself against his own will.

Aiming for performing some things arises inwardly. This is precisely why we say “to come across a heart-to-heart business”, “my heart is not in it”, “I have put my heart and soul into this business”. What a person likes that will achieve the best results.

The second condition – achievement of unparalleled results. The soul always prompts an individual what he should be engaged in. The things a person likes and is strongly attracted by, will achieve the best results. Being engaged in a favorite job, an individual will for sure achieve the top results staying hereby an energetic, inspired and tireless one. Otherwise there always could be found someone taking care of his business in a much better and more talented way. And an individual would unfailingly experience a feeling that he is out of his position.

In the depth of one's heart everyone has an understanding of the things he would like to get engaged in. Having asked any grown-up whether he is appropriate, you would always receive an exact response.

Any individual who has “fallen greedily” upon his talent and has been embodying his dream would always expressively give a “yes” response. Just as someone who is out of his position knows it for sure as well. It might be the case that he does not know his place having no notion of it clearly and distinctly, however he always feels faultlessly that the current position is not that of him.

Coming back to our example regarding two employees, let us ask the following question: Does it mean that the second individual is talentless? Of course, it doesn't. The problem is in the point that in contradiction to the first one this individual is out of his position. His talent is not being implemented, and therefore both his job and his life in its entirety are filled with a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Talents and Parents

Every individual comes into this life with some kind of talent, and there is certain explanation for that. Any talent is a capacity for something being available by any individual since his birth, which means having come with him from his past embodiment.

Any talent stands for the things he used to learn in the past as well as his mastership he has gained. In other words, these are available skills, and he will not have to practice them all over again. An objective of this life is to turn gift to account and to develop other ones.

These are parents who undoubtedly play their role in a timely determination and development of a child's talent. For a majority of them it is not any secret anymore. There is another amazing thing: the energy of parental influence will not grow weaker as the years go by, and the grown-up children will receive confession of parental preferences, without perceiving their own genuine capabilities or any necessity for their implementation. For instance, mistakenly many of them are of the opinion that they would implement their talents whereas actually they fulfill aspirations of their parents.

There exist four basic models of parents' attitude to their child's talent. Let us describe them briefly.

1. Realizing one's own dream by virtue of the child

Non-embodiment of a parent in the favorite job often turns into responsibility for the child: the mother having dreamt of becoming a ballet dancer anticipates her daughter to become a ballet dancer; the father having failed to achieve any success in sports would train his son from his early years with a view that he would deserve victories on the sports arena. The problem is in the point that hereby any true calling of the children will not be taken into consideration. It is being disregarded and will not be developed further on. You could teach your child to perform something in a very good way to receive excellent grades. However, hereby it is impossible to make it live in charity and to feel happiness. This is because of the fact that fulfilling a parent's dream, an individual would make happy parents, but not himself.

Modern life abounds with many instances of the parents who have devotedly dedicated themselves to a career of their child and afterwards having become their managers. Under the guidance of benevolent intentions such parents would pursue one and only one goal – to manage an individual and to dispose of his time, facilities and life.

2. Following in the footsteps of parents

Sometimes some parents having themselves reached high levels in that or another sphere would oblige the child to follow in his footsteps: to master the same occupation, to continue the dynasty and to develop the family business. Though, a talent of any individual appears to be one-of-a-kind gift having been given only to him alone. This is by no means always the case that a child's gift would coincide with its parents' talents and such a case is sooner a kind of exception than a rule. So, in spite of the desires a child would be obliged to go on with the business of his famous parents. And this is just not a rarity. Exactly because of similar situations there used to come up an opinion as though nature takes rest via the children of talented parents. This is not the case at all. Simply and solely, the talent of such children is out in some other sphere, notwithstanding it frequently remains not properly understood and unrealized.

3. Assistance or harm

Time and again, observing that a child has got obvious capabilities for some things, the parents would sincerely desire to assist the child developing them. The problem turns up when the parents would take up a matter too eagerly and would make far-reaching plans, and so would turn a favorite thing to do into a duty. Very soon a child would lose its desire to be engaged in the things by which it was fascinated just a while ago. It would try to look for some other piece of fascination. If however, parents' attitude would not change in broad-brush terms, and they would intend to turn any activity of the child into persistent disciplined work, it could occur that neither of the activities would be a heart-to-heart one for the child. And the matter herein is not that the child does not possess any aptitudes, but it consists in the fact that they fail to develop neither of them. Because any talent can be brought to light in the child itself and it is impossible to do it forcefully.

A grown-up person would not frequently feel that fine line when a child performs something of one's own free will and when it does the same thing at the parents' bidding. As recently as yesterday the child was ecstatically fiddling around with paints, and today in response to the parents' words “Why aren't you drawing today? Go and draw! You wanted to become an artist, did not you? For this purpose you have to work and draw every day!”, the child would throw its paints rather far off and moreover, it would obtain a title of lazybones being unable to bring to a close not a single thing. That is all. Whether the child had an artistic talent remained unclear.