Читать книгу To Forgive or To Revenge. Collection of articles - Сергей и Дина Волсини - Страница 5

In another case, a man finds a specific person to be responsible for his unhappiness. That might be a woman who has severed from the beloved, a man who is a rival, or, for example, someone who has slandered a person in the eyes of beloved and has become a cause of the break. At the same time the one, who is deprived of love, can be wrong in his findings and cannot see the whole picture of what is happening, but it is impossible to convince the person: as he believes the responsible is found.

He cannot punish the offender himself, but remains in full confidence that the offender should and will be punished, because justice should prevail. Person may express his opinion straight to the offender or may tell him nothing, but speak out at his back imposing his point of view upon others, spreading rumors and setting others against the offender. It does also happen that a person hypocritically communicates with the offender, is well received at his home and family, maintains outwardly good relations pretending the former resentment is gone.

Whatever the mask a man could wear he hides the resentment and matures most bad wishes in his heart. Every time, remembering the offender, he mentally creates negative images around him and increases them scrolling in his mind over and over again. Person generates the offender's punishment and lives in expectation of the divine scourge day by day. But he ignores a single point – all these feelings are by his own, and therefore they start to be playable in his own life.

Whether these wishes can affect whom they are addressed or not, but the man, staying in the grievance and anger, brings relevant events primarily to himself and his loved ones. And when there is another bad luck, he justifies himself with that old story again and habitually blames someone who once treated him unfairly.

Here is an example of life. The young man was injured after falling from a ladder. He considered his brother to be responsible for that, because the latter was close to him at the time, but couldn't help. At the same time he was going through parting with the girl whom he was going to marry, and thus he began to blame his brother not only in the loss of health, but in all the subsequent misfortunes as well, the main of which – the loss of love. For the next twenty years a woman was constantly staying with him. She became both his housekeeper and the companion in his business. She loved him selflessly and was devoted to him, but the resentment did not allow the man to see this love – he was living with the memories of the past and waiting for the day when justice would prevail and the fate would punish his brother.

It often happens a person is taken pity on and sympathized with because of that past story, and given help as well, but all in vain: he seems to be looking for new troubles on purpose, as if trying to prove that no good can happen no longer in his life – and that's all for the same reason. There is more trouble, hurt is all the stronger. Resentment grows and the number of misfortunes increases. Thus a vicious circle is formed, and only the man himself can leave it if he dares to do so. But if he undertakes nothing, negative feelings and corresponding events will spread to his children and grandchildren, thereupon they will have to improve the situation.