Читать книгу The Wiener Schnitzel Love Book! - Severin Corti - Страница 10

GERHARD BRONNER

Gerhard Bronner was an Austrian cabaret performer, known amongst other things for his humorous two-handed “Travnicek” dialogues in Viennese dialect. This is an example in which the schnitzel features.

Helmut Qualtinger (left) and Gerhard Bronner (right) formed a legendary cabaret duo in the post-war period.

The deck of a cruise ship on the Mediterranean. Two deck chairs. Two Austrians sitting on them. It is full moon, and the strumming of a guitar can be heard in the background.

TRAVNICEK (morosely): This is some kind of country! Look down there …

FRIEND: And, what am I supposed to be looking at?

TRAVNICEK: Nothing but salt water … and these guitars! Unlistenable … If only they had a bit of Viennese folk music … And the moon shining right in your face … It’s unbearable …

FRIEND: Not enjoying the Mediterranean nights, Travnicek?

TRAVNICEK: Don’t talk to me about the Mediterranean. It was all right while we were still sitting on the train. I still had my cold schnitzels that I’d brought from home. And a jar of potato salad. But once we got down here … They keep wanting me to eat these ćevapi.

FRIEND: What?

TRAVNICEK: They look like dog pooh with onions. No schnitzel to be found anywhere. And no potato salad. If I’d spent the same money at Lake Wörth (popular bathing destination in the southern Austrian state of Carinthia), people would take me for a foreigner … and there’s no good wine to be had either. Sorrel in all the food and slivovitz is the only hard stuff available … No one to talk to either, except you. Standards are low …