Читать книгу A Brand New Me: The hilarious romantic comedy about one year of first dates - Shari Low - Страница 13

EMAIL To: Trisha; Stu From: Leni Lomond Re: If last night’s date had a personal ad, it would read like…

Male, 28 (maturity age 13–16), Leo, cuddly, seeks like-minded female with endless supply of pound coins for fun-filled nights wiping out entire civilisations with big plastic fake guns. Must be technologically skilled: proficient on PSP, Xbox, PlayStation, Wii and Nintendo DS (please note that I am the ‘God of Milton Keynes’ on all of these systems), and have interest in weapons of mass destruction. GSOH, likes fun dares and practical jokes–can supply own wheelie bin. Very sociable, has many friends with adolescent nicknames and can’t wait to add girlfriend called ‘Knockers’ to the list. Ideal partner will therefore have knockers of substantial size. Must be good cook with wide range of specialities: burgers, chilli, fish and chips, donuts, pizza, and should be able to drink until they fall down or vomit, both of which will be captured on mobile phone and posted on YouTube. Family values important–expect to live with parents until middle age.

Most romantic gesture: sharing bargain bucket of KFC while playing two-player game of Ninja Warriors 3.

Ideal holiday: Blackpool, Las Vegas, terrorist training camp.