Читать книгу Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies - Sharon Perkins - Страница 100

Being separated during such an important time will be hard on both of you, but your partner is the one dealing with hormonal changes that can make going through pregnancy alone really difficult. Although you’re probably feeling the strain of not being there as well, remember that she’s dealing with much, much more. Some guys don’t want to hear the details of her pregnancy, baby shower, doctor’s appointments, and so on because it reminds them of everything they’re missing. If you’re one of those guys, try really hard to overcome it. And although it’s okay to mention how hard it is to be away at such a special time — your partner will probably be upset if it doesn’t upset you, honestly — remember not to make it all about you.

The complex emotions of a far-away dad can be hard for a mom-to-be to understand, since she feels just as lonely and sad that you’re apart at such an important time — and she’s the one dealing with taking care of the house and herself, not to mention heartburn, swollen feet, and the inability to bend over.

Staying involved is more than just sitting in front of the camera while you talk. Although you don’t need to write out a script before every video chat, keep a list of things that you want to ask about or talk to your partner about. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment when you’re chatting — and also hard to keep yourself present and ignoring everything that’s going on around you — and you may end the chat without ever touching on all the things you really wanted to ask about. So, keep a list.

As hard as it can be at times, it’s also important to stay present during your calls. Whether you’re talking to each other every day or once a month, make sure you’re totally there during your conversations. Obviously, no playing games on your phone while you’re talking! And no talking with other people in the background, if you can manage it. Having other people around can hinder both of you from saying what you really want to say.

Last but not least, remember that this too will pass. Yes, it’s a time you’ll never be able to get back, and it’s hard, but you’re going to have years to spend with your new baby, and plenty of time to make it up to them — and to your partner, too.