Читать книгу Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies - Sharon Perkins - Страница 91

Having one side of the family more involved than the other in your baby-making project can have consequences down the road. Keeping boundaries in place in such an emotional situation can also lead to problems, sometimes for years to come. Families, unlike friends or acquaintances, are generally around for the long haul, and your child will likely be involved with them for most of their lives. However, families can and do make this work, and it can be the best of all possible worlds if the stars align and your relatives are all solidly behind you.

If you’re a gay couple, both of your family’s genetics can be in the mix if one of you has a sister willing to donate the egg. (Obviously, the guy whose sister donates the egg doesn’t donate the sperm.) This would be the best-case scenario — everyone has a genetic claim — but altruistic sisters may be in short supply in your families. Or the whole idea might just not sit right with one of you.

Monetary issues can also complicate the issue of using a family member; do you offer them a financial stipend or will your relative or friend simply want to do this out of the goodness of their heart? How “legal” do you need to be in terms of a contract? It’s always advisable to draw up a legal document to protect all parties down the road, no matter how unnecessary it seems at the time or how close you are to your family member. Life circumstances change, the question of whether or not to disclose all the details to your future child or other people can suddenly become important, or the donor who thought she’d have no problem giving away her eggs discovers after the baby is born with her eyes and nose that it matters way more than she thought it would.

Both egg-donation and surrogacy programs generally require physicals and possibly genetic testing. Some also require a mental health consultation. Unexpected issues can be uncovered during testing, which could eliminate your potential family member or friend as a donor or carrier.