Читать книгу Dad's Guide to Pregnancy For Dummies - Sharon Perkins - Страница 32

Being on different pages can be an uncomfortable position for any couple, especially when it comes to the kid issue. Men have long been saddled with the Peter Pan label whenever they announce they aren’t ready to “grow up” and have kids. Women are unfairly chastised for choosing career over family if they aren’t ready to have a child.

Everyone has his reasons for wanting or not wanting to have a baby, and every one of them is valid — at least to the person who isn’t ready. We don’t recommend attempting to persuade your partner, or vice versa, to have a baby. Having a child with someone who isn’t ready is setting up your relationship — and your relationship with the child — for failure.

If one of you isn’t ready, try to work out a timeline as to when the wary party will be ready. If you can’t set a definitive date, choose a time to revisit the topic. Check in with each other at least every six months. Nagging the other person isn’t a good idea, but if it’s something one of you wants, then you should continue to work toward a solution.

Seek counseling at any point if you and your partner fight about the issue frequently or if one of you decides that you never want children. Couples who are at an impasse about whether to have children often need the guidance of a trained professional.