Читать книгу Waking Up In Charleston - Sherryl Woods, Sherryl Woods - Страница 10

Amanda rarely set foot in Caleb’s office, mostly because there were so many other opportunities to see him. Unfortunately, ever since that Saturday when he’d been so obviously upset, he’d been avoiding her and the kids. Afraid that she’d inadvertently said or done something to offend him or that he was going through some sort of personal crisis and needed help he’d never ask for, she concluded it was time to take action.

As soon as she left her job at the boutique, she set off for the church. Nadine and George, who’d unexpectedly turned themselves into surrogate grandparents for Susie, Larry and Jimmy, were taking the kids to a movie, so Amanda had the entire evening to wrangle the truth out of Caleb.

On her arrival and drawn by some emotion she couldn’t quite explain, she wandered into the church, rather than going in search of Caleb. Only dim lights near the altar lit the way. She liked it in shadows like this. It felt peaceful and oddly welcoming to someone like her, someone not sure she had any right to be there, given her history and lack of faith.

She slipped into a pew toward the front and let the serenity steal over her. After the past couple of weeks, she needed a few minutes of solitude to gather her thoughts before facing Caleb and whatever secrets he was hiding from her. The kids had been a handful for days now. Even their teachers had called to complain, wondering if there might not be something wrong at home.

The only thing unusual that Amanda could point to was Caleb’s absence. Maybe this was a warning that her children were growing too dependent on him, expecting him to fulfill their need for a father. That was a burden he shouldn’t have to shoulder. Perhaps he’d sensed that himself and that was why he’d pulled back. It was something they needed to discuss.

As she wrestled with that, a side door opened softly, letting in a shaft of brighter light.

“Amanda!” Caleb said, obviously startled to find her there.

She jumped up guiltily. “I’m sorry. I probably shouldn’t be in here.”

He frowned at her reaction. “Why on earth shouldn’t you be here? The church is open to everyone. Sit back down. I can leave you alone, if you’d prefer.”

There it was, she thought, that compassionate tone that made her long for things she hadn’t had in a long time. She’d missed having someone to share her day with. She and Bobby had talked about everything after the kids were in bed, or at least she had assumed they had. It turned out she’d been wrong, but at the time, those talks had been the best part of her day.

More and more lately she’d looked to Caleb for that kind of sharing. Maybe she’d been leaning on him too much. That was something else they should discuss.

She looked into his worried eyes. “No, stay, please,” she said. “Actually I came to see you. I walked in here on impulse and it was so peaceful, I stayed.”

Caleb crossed to sit beside her. “What brought you here to see me? You don’t usually stop by the church.”

She gave him a wry smile. “Because you’re usually underfoot at the house. You haven’t been by for a while now.”

“I should be flattered that you’ve noticed,” he said, though he sounded anything but pleased. In fact, he looked uneasy. “I’ve been busy.”

“You’re always busy,” she noted. “That’s never kept you away before.”

He sighed, then looked directly into her eyes. “It’s not my absence that’s on your mind, is it? It’s something more specific.”

She thought about the question before answering. “The kids do miss you,” she said honestly. “They’ve been acting up in school this week. I think it’s because they’re feeling abandoned. Frankly, so am I.”

His expression troubled, he murmured, “I’m sorry. I should have thought of that and explained to them.”

Amanda regarded him with frustration. “Don’t you dare apologize, Caleb. You don’t owe us anything. You’ve already been more than generous with your time and everything else.” She studied him intently, then forced herself to ask him directly, “Are you afraid we’re all getting too attached to you, Caleb? Is that it? Because if it is, I understand. I’ll make the kids understand, too. We can’t rely on you to fill the void Bobby left in our lives. You’ve already done more than we have any right to expect.”

He frowned at her. “You and the kids haven’t expected anything from me that I haven’t been more than willing to give,” he said with unmistakable sincerity. “I’m not sure I can explain this so you’ll understand, but there have been some things going on that I needed to deal with.”

“Personal things?” she asked, watching him closely.

He never once met her eyes, but he nodded. “At least some of it. The rest has to do with other people.”

“And you couldn’t share with me whatever it is that relates just to you?” she asked. “I thought friends were supposed to be there for each other, the way you’ve been there for us. I told you that at my house before you ran off the other day. I guess you still don’t get it.”

“If this were just about me, you’d have a point,” he said. “But it’s not. Can you try to accept that? There are going to be times when I simply can’t talk to you about what’s on my mind.”