Читать книгу Waking Up In Charleston - Sherryl Woods, Sherryl Woods - Страница 7

Mary Louise had worked a double shift at the Stop and Shop and her feet were killing her. She was determined, though, to show Danny that she was willing to make good on her word to earn all the money they would need to get by once they were married.

“Is Danny coming home again this weekend?” Willie Ron asked as she closed out for the evening and he prepared to take over.

Willie Ron Dupree was only twenty-six, but he had been working the graveyard shift for ten years to help support his disabled mother. He never talked about whatever hopes and dreams he’d had before his mother’s illness had made her unable to work. If he’d had to give up college or anything, Mary Louise had never heard him complain about it.

Willie Ron was one of the nicest guys she’d ever known, always willing to come in early if she needed to take off, always ready to listen when she had a problem. And he always asked about Danny. She wondered what he’d have to say if he knew about her pregnancy, if it would make him think less of her, or of Danny, for that matter.

“Hey,” Willie Ron said, concern in his voice. “You okay? I asked about Danny and for once you didn’t launch into a full-scale recitation of all the guy’s good points.”

Mary Louise shrugged. “Guess my mind wandered,” she said. “He should be here any minute. He was driving over from Clemson after his last class today. He promised he’d be here in time to pick me up after my shift.”

“Girl, you got that boy wrapped around your finger,” Willie Ron teased, his smile showing off a row of glistening white teeth. “No woman’s ever going to tie me up in knots like that.”

“Just wait till the right one comes along,” she goaded him. “You’ll treat her like a queen, the same way you do your mama.”

“My mama’s raised eight of us, and done a good job of it,” Willie Ron said, his expression turning serious. “She deserves being spoiled. Haven’t met anyone yet who’s her equal. Even when she was laid low by a bad heart, my mama kept her spirits up. She raised all of us to count our blessings and not be crying over things we can’t fix.”

“You’ll find someone just like her someday,” Mary Louise told him. “I know for a fact that Li’l Bit Gaines comes in here just to see you.”

If it was possible for a black man to blush, Willie Ron’s cheeks would have been flaming. “Li’l Bit just likes her nightly candy fix. She comes in here for a Snickers bar. Got nothin’ to do with me.”

“Yeah, right,” Mary Louise responded. “I know better. How many people rush out to indulge a chocolate craving after eleven o’clock at night?”

Willie Ron frowned. “Maybe instead of messin’ in my love life, you ought to be checking your lipstick before that boyfriend of yours gets here,” he said. “Though I don’t know why you’d bother since he’s likely to kiss it right off. I haven’t seen you two make it to the car yet before that man’s sneakin’ himself some sugar.”

Ignoring the taunt, Mary Louise hurried to the back of the convenience store to put on another coat of Sugar-plum lip gloss. But even as she locked the door to the restroom she kept spotless, she wondered just how much kissing she and Danny were likely to do. He’d gone into a hands-off mode the minute he’d heard about the baby. Kinda like shutting the barn door after the horse has gone, in her opinion. Seemed like they ought to be taking advantage of this time, since any fooling around they did couldn’t lead to another pregnancy. They were already in as much trouble as it was possible to get.

When she emerged from the back, Danny was standing at the counter talking to Willie Ron. She took a moment to admire the way Danny looked in his carefully pressed chinos and dark green polo shirt. It was her favorite because it made his eyes look even greener than usual. He looked like the fancy college boy he was, and she was amazed that she’d been lucky enough to be the girl he’d fallen for.

“Hey, handsome,” she called out. “Did you come straight from the fraternity house?”

“You know I’m no frat boy,” he chided, then gave her an appreciative once-over. “But you could put most of those sorority girls to shame, Mary Louise.”

It was a sweet thing to say, especially since he knew she sometimes felt inadequate because college had been beyond her family’s reach. Until she’d gotten pregnant, she’d been hoping to put enough money aside to take some classes here in town so Danny wouldn’t be ashamed of her lack of education.

“You two have big plans for tonight?” Willie Ron asked, regarding them like an indulgent big brother.

“Actually we have some talking to do,” Danny said, his gaze locked with Mary Louise’s. “I thought we could take a drive or something.”

Willie Ron didn’t look as if he believed for a second that they’d be driving around all evening, but he kept his comments to himself for once as he shooed them out the door. “I’ll see you on Monday, Mary Louise. You say a prayer for Mama in church on Sunday, you hear.”

“I always do,” she said, then grinned. “And I ask God to find you a girl worthy of you.”

“You go on now,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

Mary Louise turned to find Danny grinning at her. “You like embarrassing that man, don’t you?” he asked as she slipped her hand into his and headed for the car.

“Embarrassing him how?” she asked. “He needs a girlfriend and a life. All he does is work and look out for his mama.”

“I think he’s old enough to find his own woman.”

“But Willie Ron’s shy. He needs a nudge,” she protested as Danny held the car door for her the way he always did. His folks had taught him manners, that’s for sure. It was one of the first things she’d noticed about him.

“Don’t you think your time might be better spent figuring out what we’re going to do, instead of worrying about Willie Ron?” Danny asked, a sudden edge to his voice.

Fortunately before she could respond, he closed the car door, then went around to get behind the wheel. It was just enough time for her quick flash of temper to cool. There was no point getting into some silly argument right off the bat when they had more important things to talk about.

“I have been thinking about our future,” she said calmly. “All week long, in fact. What about you?”

He sighed. “It was the only thing I could think about. Jeez, Mary Louise, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time.”

“Well, I’m sorry as hell about that, but it’s not like I planned it, Danny.” She scowled at him and noted the faint flicker of doubt in his eyes. “You don’t believe me, do you?” she demanded in a shocked tone. “You think I planned this.” Her temper shot right back into high gear. “Well, you can just think again, Danny Marshall. This messes up some things I’d been counting on, too.”

“Such as?”

“Taking college classes right here in Charleston. I never intended to just drift along working at the Stop and Shop for the rest of my life. I might not have had the grades to win a scholarship to Clemson, but I’m smart. I have dreams, too. You should know that. We talked about them enough.”

His hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I do know that,” he said eventually. “I’m sorry. It’s just that everything is such a mess. I flunked an important math test this week because I couldn’t concentrate. I can’t help thinking that’s what it’s going to be like from now on.”

“It’ll get better once we make some decisions,” she consoled him. “It’s the worry that’s distracting you.”

“And you think that’s going to stop just because we get married?” he scoffed. “That’ll just be the start.”

His words echoed the warning Amanda O’Leary had given her and that scared Mary Louise. Desperate to reassure him—and herself—she reached for his arm, then massaged the tight muscle until it began to relax. “I swear I didn’t mean for this to happen,” she whispered. “I never wanted to ruin things for you.”

He faced her, his expression earnest. “Then let’s think about what Reverend Webb said. Let’s at least consider the possibility of having the baby adopted,” he pleaded. “It’s the only thing that makes sense. Let somebody who desperately wants a baby give ours a good home. We’re not ready to do that, Mary Louise. At least, I’m not.”

Tears welled up in Mary Louise’s eyes. A part of her wanted to go along with him, if only to make his life easier. Heck, it would make her life easier, too. She wasn’t holding out because of stubbornness, either, though she knew that’s what Danny thought. How could they give up their baby and ever have any chance at a future? Every baby that might come later would be a bittersweet reminder of the one they’d given up. Sooner or later that loss would eat away at them. The way she saw it, giving up this baby would be a sure way to end things between them forever.

“Do you love me, Danny?” she asked, her heart in her throat.

He took his eyes off the road and glanced at her. “You know I do,” he said with unmistakable sincerity.

“Then how can you not love our baby?”

He didn’t answer for the longest time, but when he did, he said, “Because it’s not real to me, I guess. And I’m scared, Mary Louise. Really scared.”

“Of the baby ruining your life?”

“There’s some of that,” he admitted. “And I know it’s selfish, but there’s more, too. I’m afraid it will come between us, that I’ll resent you, just the way Reverend Webb said, and even worse that I’ll resent the baby and won’t be able to love it the way a baby deserves to be loved.”

He gave her a sad smile. “I used to think about what it would be like when we finally had our first baby. I could imagine holding that little guy or girl in my arms, teaching it stuff, reading stories. Now all I can think about is how exhausting it would be to cope with middle-of-the-night feedings and all the crying and stuff when I’ve got exams coming up and studying to do.”

Maybe because Amanda had helped open her heart to it, Mary Louise heard the depth of his emotional struggle in his voice. In that instant she knew that she really did have to consider Danny’s point of view and not just her own blind optimism that everything would be fine.

“Will you take me home?” she said, her voice tight.

“Don’t be mad at me, Mary Louise,” he begged. “I’m just trying to be honest.”

“I know, and I’m not mad, really I’m not,” she said sadly. “That’s why I want to go home. I need to think about what you said before we meet with Reverend Webb again on Sunday.”

“Do you want to get together tomorrow and talk some more?” Danny asked.

She shook her head. “No, you’ve given me some more to think about and I need to wrestle with it on my own. I’ll call you if I change my mind. Otherwise I’ll see you when you pick me up for church on Sunday.” She lifted her gaze to his. “Have you talked to your folks at all?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. You?”

“No.”

“Do you think we should tell them before Sunday?” he asked. “If Reverend Webb wants to see them, too, we should probably give them time to absorb all this.”

“I want this to be our decision,” Mary Louise argued. “You know they’ll get all weird, and the next thing we know, they’ll be making all the decisions.”

“I suppose you’re right,” he admitted. “But it’s not really fair for them to be blindsided.”

“Maybe we can just meet with Reverend Webb and decide what we’re going to do, then go tell them together,” she suggested. “First yours, then mine.”

“Why mine first?” he asked.

“Because mine might kill us,” she said, only partially in jest. “Or you, anyway.”

Danny pulled the car to a stop in front of her house and cut the engine, then rested his head on the steering wheel. Mary Louise sat beside him, fighting tears. When Danny finally turned toward her, his eyes were damp, as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I wish I were as excited about this as you are.”

“I wish you were, too,” she said, reaching for him. “But we’re going to figure this out, Danny. I know we will. And when we do, it will be what’s best for all of us.”

Amanda was pretty sure a person could go straight to hell for having the kind of thoughts she was having on Saturday afternoon as she watched Caleb struggle to wrestle the armoire she’d bought at a flea market into her new bedroom. What kind of joke had God been playing when he’d created a minister with broad shoulders and rock-solid abs that belonged on the cover of a fitness magazine?

She’d noticed the man’s muscles far more than she should have during the months they’d worked side by side to build her new home. He had a very dangerous habit of stripping off his shirt when the sultry Charleston temperatures climbed. She wasn’t the only woman working on the house whose mouth had gaped at the vision of male perfection he’d presented. Add in Maggie’s taunting remarks just the other day, and Amanda’s imagination had traveled in a very steamy and unsuitable direction. Just last night she’d had a dream about him—about the two of them—that had left her lying awake, restless and hot.

Amanda figured it was ironic that she felt such stirrings of desire only when she was around the most inappropriate man in all of Charleston. Then, again, maybe this was God’s way of showing her she wasn’t dead, after all, without putting her heart at risk in the process. Being attracted to Caleb was safe, thanks to his profession. He certainly wouldn’t be trying to tempt her into some casual liaison, that was for sure, and a fling was all she could imagine for herself for the foreseeable future.

And when it came down to it, she was the last woman on earth any minister would want. She didn’t really believe in God, at least not a benevolent one, mostly because of the way she’d been brought up. Her father’s bitterness over her mother’s death had instilled the impression that only an uncaring God could have allowed such a thing to happen. Even as she’d grown up and started thinking for herself, Amanda couldn’t disagree. As much as she’d loved her father, she’d missed having a mother. She’d felt cheated out of something important. With no one else she could think of to blame, she’d pointed her anger toward God and kept her distance.

Despite her apathy, Bobby had insisted they make at least perfunctory appearances at church for the sake of the children. She’d gone along with it, using the quiet time to reflect on things. The hymns had been lovely, a few of the prayers meaningful, but she’d made little attempt to absorb the messages in the sermons.

Ministers had come and gone, and she’d paid scant attention—until she’d had to make arrangements for Bobby’s funeral. That was when she’d seen the compassion in Caleb’s eyes and felt a much-needed steadiness in him that had gotten her through those first awful months when everything in her life had unraveled.

It had been his idea that the church come together to build this house for her. And, remarkably, as the weeks had passed and she’d seen her home taking shape, her life had come together, as well. She’d felt stronger, more capable of facing an uncertain future.

And when they’d handed her the keys on that last day, she’d looked around into the faces of her new friends and felt whole again. Despite all the adversities she’d faced, her life truly was blessed. She’d looked across the room and met Caleb’s gaze and knew that he’d understood all along how desperately she needed what she’d found in this house and the building of it. She’d reclaimed her self-respect.

“Thank you,” she’d mouthed.

To her utter shock, he’d winked. That tiny, flirtatious wink had rattled her so badly she’d turned and fled. For months she had tucked Caleb into a nice, safe niche in her life. After the turmoil of living with Bobby and the chaos after his death, Caleb epitomized a quiet serenity she craved. That wink, however, had suggested there was another side to him, a human and very male side she wasn’t ready for.

But even though he continued to disconcert her, for some reason she hadn’t been able to insist he stay away. The stakes escalated more every time they saw each other. She knew it and she was pretty sure he did, too. That kiss the other night had been as innocent as a peck on the cheek between friends, but way too much passion had simmered just below the surface. The depth of it had shaken her. Yet when she’d needed help transporting the armoire today, Caleb was the first person she’d thought of. And he’d agreed readily in fact, with an eagerness that told her he’d missed her during the week as much as she’d missed him.

Amanda felt a tug on her sleeve and looked down into the too-serious face of her five-year-old daughter.

“Hey, baby, what’s up?” she asked Susie, relieved by the distraction.

Susie frowned. “I’m not a baby.”

Amanda scooped her up and tickled her. “You’re my baby. You always will be.”

“Even when I’m ten?” Susie asked in a dismayed voice.

“Even when you’re thirty,” Amanda replied.

“How old is thirty?”

“Almost as old as me,” Amanda said.

“But you’re not a baby,” Susie protested.

Amanda knew she was in one man’s eyes, or had been, anyway. Sometimes knowing she’d lost that relationship hurt more than she could bear. Knowing that her once-beloved father had willingly tossed it aside hurt even more.

“No, I suppose not,” she said, biting back a sigh. In fact, she was the only grown-up these children had. Sometimes the pressure of that was overwhelming. It would have meant the world to be able to lean on her father from time to time, to share the joy of her three kids with him. But there was no point in wishing for things that simply couldn’t be.

“So can he?” Susie asked, apparently completing an entire line of conversation Amanda had missed.

“Can who do what?”

“Can Mr. Caleb stay for dinner?” Susie asked impatiently. “We could have pizza, like last time.”

“You have to stop thinking that we’re going to have pizza every time Caleb comes over,” Amanda told her daughter.

“Why is that?” Caleb asked, coming back into the living room, wiping away his sweat with a towel, which only drew attention to those fabulous abs again. It was all Amanda could do not to sigh.

“I love pizza,” he declared. “And who wants to order a large pizza just for one person? You guys give me the perfect excuse.”

Susie’s eyes glowed with excitement. “See, Mommy. Mr. Caleb likes pizza as much as I do. So can he stay?”

Amanda gave Caleb a look of mock severity. “Did you put her up to this?”

He winked at Susie. “Absolutely not,” he swore solemnly. “I just figure that a man who’s risked his back to haul furniture for you ought to get something out of the deal.”

“And you want to be paid in pizza?” Amanda asked doubtfully.

“Actually, I’m buying the pizza. Your company is enough payment.”

Amanda regarded him warily. “You can’t keep doing this,” she said.

“Doing what?” he asked, his expression all innocence.

“Dreaming up excuses to feed us.” She set Susie down. “Go get your brothers and tell them to wash up for dinner.”

As soon as her daughter was gone, she faced Caleb, determined to set some long-needed parameters. “You’ve done enough, Caleb. I won’t let you go on treating us like your pet charity. My budget’s not that tight. I can afford to pay for pizza once in a while. And now that we have this brand-new kitchen, I can even cook a meal for all of us.”

“But why should you cook after working hard all day or pay for pizza when I can?” he asked reasonably.

“Because getting back on my feet means being on equal footing with my friends. I need to do things for you once in a while. Otherwise, I’ll start feeling indebted to you. I don’t think that sort of thing is good for a friendship, do you?”

He nodded slowly at that. “Point taken. You can buy the pizza tonight.”

“And next time,” she said firmly, knowing there would be a next time, no matter what excuse he—or she—had to dream up to make it happen.

“We’ll table that discussion till the next time,” he said just as firmly. “We men have our pride, too, you know.”

Amanda had lived with two males who’d had it in spades. She gave Caleb a wry look. “Believe me, I know. It’s not something I’d brag about, if I were you.”

He regarded her with understanding. “Lumping me in with Bobby or your father, Amanda? Do you really think there’s any comparison?”

“Not yet,” she replied. “But you could be standing on the edge of a slippery slope. Now seems like the time to drag you back.”

He laughed at that. “You go set the table. I’ll call for the pizza,” he said, then added, “Paper plates will do.”

“Not in my house,” she called back. “Not for guests.”

She was in the kitchen distributing plates and silverware when Caleb joined her, his expression oddly troubled.

“Don’t tell me the pizza place is closed,” she joked lightly.

“No, the pizza’s on the way. I got a salad, too.”

“Then what’s with the somber look? Bad news?”

“No, it was something you said.”

She tried to recall what might have put that look on his face. She couldn’t come up with anything. “What?”

“You still think of me as a guest,” he said.

Amanda didn’t see the problem. “Isn’t that what you are?”

He shrugged. “I guess I was sort of hoping by now you’d start thinking of me as part of the family, or at least as the kind of friend who doesn’t require going to any trouble.”

There was no mistaking the genuine dismay in his voice, so she guided him toward a chair. “Sit.”

A grin tugged at his lips. “Bossy, aren’t you?”

“You have no idea,” she said dryly. She might be out of practice, but she’d once excelled at getting things done to her satisfaction. It was a trait she’d learned at her daddy’s knee.

“Now, you listen to me, Caleb Webb,” she lectured sternly. “You’ve been the best friend this family has ever had, which is exactly why I want to show you some respect when you come here. Maybe in your world that means eating off paper plates and not going to any trouble, but in mine it means observing some of the niceties.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, his eyes twinkling despite the meek tone.

She frowned at the interruption. “I might not be able to pour fine wine into crystal goblets in my house,” she continued. “I can’t serve you on bone china that came over from England a couple of centuries ago for my great-great-grandmother’s wedding, but I can at least treat mealtime as an occasion.”

His grin spread as she spoke. “Okay, then. Guess that means I ought to at least put my shirt back on.”

“You should,” she said, though not without regret. “And wash your hands.”

He snapped a salute and started toward the bathroom, then came back and dropped another one of those sneaky, sizzling little kisses on her mouth.

“Have I mentioned how adorable you are when you get up on your high horse?” he asked.

Her gaze narrowed. “That sounds suspiciously close to telling me I’m cute when I’m angry.”

He held up his hands. “Not a chance, darlin’. I know better than that. The last thing I want to do is set off World War III around here right before dinner. It’s bad for the digestion.”

She gave him a wry look. “I think the pizza will take care of that, especially if you ordered pepperoni, jalapeños and onions again.”

“Only on my half,” he reassured her.

Amanda shuddered. “Who would have thought a preacher would have a cast-iron stomach?”

He gave her an amused look. “Did you think we lived on oatmeal or something?”

“I think I always imagined you lived on Sunday dinners of fried chicken, peas, mashed potatoes and apple pie at some parishioner’s home. Beyond that, I guess I never gave it much thought. The burgers we consumed while we were building the house should have been a clue. You put jalapeños on those, too, didn’t you?”

“Every chance I got,” he told her. His gaze met hers, then held it. “What can I say? I like a little spice in my life.”

He’s talking about food, Amanda reminded herself sternly when he walked away, his lips twitching. He had to be. Preachers surely didn’t flirt so outrageously.

Or did they? How on earth was she supposed to know what preachers did? Caleb was the only one she’d ever known beyond the most casual greeting at some function or another. Amazingly, he suddenly struck her as someone who was all too eager to break a few rules, or at least to bend them.

Was she ready to do the same? She tried to imagine opening up her heart again and she couldn’t. Not even to a man as rock-solid and dependable as Caleb.

For one thing, it was becoming clear that under that steady, staid exterior beat the heart of a man capable of a few surprises, and Amanda had had all the surprises in life she could handle. She’d vowed on the day they’d put Bobby in his grave that she’d never risk another one, not for herself, not for her children.

For another, there was the whole independence thing. She still needed to prove to herself that she had what it took to make a success of her life, to give her children what they needed to become good people. Her father had been so sure she couldn’t do that, not with Bobby by her side and certainly not on her own.

She sighed at the thought. And wasn’t it ironic that even after all this time and all her disclaimers to the contrary, her father’s opinion still drove some of her decisions? Obviously she still had some work to do to claim that independence she prized so much.