Читать книгу Leashes and Lovers - What Your Dog Can Teach You About Love, Life, and Happiness - Sheryl Matthys - Страница 21

You’ll recall the Saturday Night Live skits starring the character Stuart Smalley, who spoofed the 12-step program and ended each bit with the above positive affirmation.

Ok, he said “people” instead of “my dog,” but our dogs are great guides in this respect. So how do we come to know ourselves the way we know our dogs do? How do we see what our dogs see, believe what they believe, live in the present, and trust as they trust? Your dog thinks the world of you, and it’s time you stand tall like the person your dog believes you are.

Allow me to explain. The first step in adopting this philosophy of learning from your dog is to pay attention to how your dog acts toward you and how he appreciates you. So often we see ourselves in only negative ways. “I’m not smart enough, not witty enough, not energetic enough, not funny enough, not at my ideal weight, not attractive enough, not rich enough... for anybody to want to be in a relationship with me.”

We wouldn’t say those things about our enemies, and yet we say them about ourselves –and to ourselves – all day long, every day. Scientists have estimated that humans have thousands of thoughts per day, but do we need them all? If you’ve ever undergone training classes with your dog, you learned that consistency, repetition, and positive rewards are key to enacting a new behavior or changing a behavior to lead to a different and desired outcome. So, too, with positive thoughts. And you’d be surprised – you don’t need many of them for this to work.

Performance Coach Jim Fannin, of JimFannin.com, has helped professional athletes and corporate executives achieve unimaginable feats. How? By studying nature and animals, he’s developed his tool chest of knowledge to turn regular people into champions in sports, in business, and in life.

Fannin explains that it’s all about your thoughts, and using fewer of them to transform yourself to a higher and more positive level of thinking and achievement. He told me, “The average person has 2,000 to 3,000 thoughts a day, and a majority of those thoughts are in chaos. Whereas the superstar has 1,100 to 1,200 thoughts a day and those thoughts aren’t focused on worry, envy, jealousy, embarrassment, and anger.”

He adds, “Like dogs, athletes in this mindset evaluate swiftly, learn from it, and move on. They theoretically ‘bury it in the backyard’ – not to be dug up again. Champions only go into the future for tactics strategies.” Fannin’s Warrior mantra is a creed I believe our dogs instinctually live by. He has his clients say, “I have no past, my goal is to make the present last – I’m in the now.”

These are similar to the outlook your dog has. Your dog lives in the moment. Your dog isn’t thinking about envy or jealousy, and is actually even willing to embarrass himself for you!

Many of our thoughts are a) negative, and b) repeated, so not only are we thinking poorly of ourselves, but we’re using the same negative, hurtful thoughts to put ourselves down repeatedly every day. We’re not thinking the way our dogs do, or like a superstar! But we can learn to do so.

Stop listening to your negative emotional baggage and start using your dog as a mirror. Trust me, seeing yourself through your dog’s eyes is, to pardon the pun, an eye-opening experience.

Just imagine completely trusting yourself, relying upon yourself for your every need, or being ready to play at a moment’s notice just because you’re you – this is how your dog sees you. Your dog thinks you’re wonderful, so why is it so hard to see yourself in much the same light? Your dog always wants “you.”

I am not saying that you should have an unrealistic or narcissistic view of yourself. Sometimes we do screw up, make mistakes, act less than kindly, and think less than generously, and it’s important to acknowledge when we’ve done wrong.

Throughout this book I repeatedly stress the point that dogs are more than just our willing companions. They can also be our deliberate tutors, mentors and guides – if only we’ll relinquish the misguided vanity that tells us we always know what’s best. Maybe you do always know what’s best; if so, great. But let’s be honest – and even a bit humble – with ourselves and admit that we don’t have all the answers. Further, let us concede that well-balanced dogs are theoretically shining examples of how to give and when to take, of how to communicate and when to listen, of how to love and be loved.

If you’re having trouble being happy, take a cue from your dog! Your dog knows how to be content, happy, fulfilled... and he doesn’t need expensive jewelry, fancy clothes, or a night out to do it. We want our dogs to always be polite and acceptable in social situations and to not jump all over others. Let’s behave in the same manner our dog does in an optimal meet and greet. Be polite even when you may not want to be.

You can know yourself better. You can have better, longer-lasting, and more fulfilling relationships if only you’ll unleash your inner dog. You, too, can learn the secrets to great relationships from your very best friend.

All you have to do is try.

And, of course, heel...