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Stance Decoder

In order to tune into the moods and intelligence of your cat, you need to know how to interpret its various poses and stances. The stances listed here are physical messages transmitted from your cat to the other beings in its general vicinity.

MULTIPLE AWARD

Be honest – tick the stances you’ve seen your cat adopt on a daily basis, and collect up the scores accordingly. Do not include any postures that are not a regular or daily occurrence.

THE TEAPOT: paws tucked under, tail tucked round, all bunched up with face forwards and back curved – all the cat needs is a handle. The teapot stance serves you a tepid cup of disappointment. You clearly could have done better with that thing you should have noticed/should have done. 2 POINTS

teapot

THE REVERSE TEAPOT: not only have you not done what your cat asked you to do, but you’ve overstepped the mark. The rear end of the pot is presented. No cup of warmth can be poured. No eye contact. You’re locked out. 3 POINTS

reverse teapot

THE PARALLELOGRAM: this is a sleeping or relaxing position that denotes complete relaxation, serenity and personal security. Note how the forelimbs lie in a perfectly parallel formation in respect of the hind limbs. 2 POINTS

parallelogram

THE CHAISE LONGUE PLAY-ALONG: when a cat lies on its side like this, with at least one forelimb outstretched, it’s ready to be playful and interactive. 2 POINTS

chaise longue play-along

THE OPEN BOOK OF DECEPTION: one of the more ambiguous postures, this ‘belly up and exposed’ stance exudes a feeling of confidence and contentment – but it’s also a defensive posture, allowing the animal to take a nifty swipe at you if you penetrate its aura of pleasure with your interfering mitts. 3 POINTS

open book of deception