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Tail Semaphore

Thanks to so-called evolutionary progress, we humans have lost our tail, and this is a problem. We can no longer comprehend the full range of signals that animals send out by virtue of their versatile rear appendages. But with a little care and attention, we can try and understand the basic messages contained in the subtle flexings of a domestic cat’s tail.

MULTIPLE AWARD

If your cat uses its tail to control or manipulate you in certain ways, then it deserves some points for each of the stylings below – so long as they are employed on either a regular or day-to-day basis.

THE NIP AND TUCK: when a cat has its tail hidden beneath its undercarriage, it’s either fearful of something or generally ill-at-ease. 1 POINT

nip and tuck

THE BURNING FUSE: a fast side-to-side or twitching motion could indicate that your cat is highly irritated, or frightened, and about to lash out. 1 POINT

burning fuse

TUNE ME IN: this straight, upward tail shows that your cat is happy, confident and relatively pleased to see you. 2 POINTS

tune me in

RIDDLE ME THIS: this question-mark-shaped tail is indeed asking a question – ‘are you up for some feline interaction?’ It denotes a mood of openness and playfulness. 2 POINTS

riddle me this

THE SLOW ASSASSIN: this tail denotes the deep, lucid intelligence of a bond villain. It moves slowly, from side to side, to mask the fact that the cat is about to attack another animal, person or object. (Nb: may be combined with the bouffant – below). 3 POINTS