Читать книгу Steve Biddulph’s Raising Girls - Steve Biddulph, Steve Biddulph - Страница 51

With girls of age three or four, the goal and need of her brain is to play, to not be pressured and to be able to be creative and free. These qualities will one day make her a great scientist, boss, artist, problem-solver or friend. She will always want to and be able to ‘do her own thing’. But if she is made to perform – by a pre-school with ‘early learning goals’, or a parent who wants her to play violin, or some activity that grooms and preens her for adult consumption (participating in child beauty contests is a stunningly awful example), then she will not develop properly, will be cramped and tense and lack creativity. Whole nations have experienced this through over-demanding schooling for the under-sixes. The result is a total lack of creativity, a population that is cowed, conformist and compliant. By six or seven, a girl is ready for some (not too much) serious learning imposed from the outside. Her brain has moved on to a whole different stage. If it comes too soon, though, it actually harms her intellect, and her eventual ability to be talented and bright.

So think twice about structured or organised activities that involve any kind of performance or competition. These just take the joy out of something she would otherwise have loved. Activities where all the kids simply get into it together and learn happily at their own pace are much preferred.

A final note – the two to five years are exhausting, and you can be a bit isolated. Don’t think you have to be an education ringmaster for your kids all day. They need to occupy themselves, dream and dawdle as their imagination grows. It’s in the gaps and quiet times that children do their growing. Turn off TVs and radios so they can think and talk internally, which they love and need to do as they play.

Don’t let yourself get lonely, either. Join a playgroup, where the kids start to have fun with others, and YOU get to be with other mums or dads (there are dads’ playgroups too now). Also learn to be boring sometimes and encourage your kids to just play around and without you while you merge into the furniture. You need your rest.